That same night, we all went home without saying a word. Even Hobi-oppa, our ever-energetic-ultimate-source-of-happiness-and-unlimited-good-vibes-HobiHobi, was dead silent. Taehyung can't look me in the eye, from the moment I told them about London up until we separate ways. Jimin didn't utter a word either, well, atleast to me. He asked Yoongi-oppa "why?" maybe about a million times and kept on whispering "I can't believe this." to himself. Jungkook... is Jungkook. I'm used to him not speaking to me that often so I wasn't that alarmed when he fell silent. I just noticed him biting his lower lip and punching almost anything (Taehyung's shoulder, the wall, the table, the air) the whole time. Jin-oppa was trapped in a trance; he switched his stares in between the ceiling and the floor. 

Our table was filled with horribly awkward silence until Namjoon-oppa decided to step up and told everyone to go home and just call it a day. I said goodbye to everyone when we got out of the diner, and only Jimin waved back (although he didn't look at me, he just waved his hand and turned his back).

While we were walking home, we discussed what had happened and my brothers straight up told me to give the boys space. Namjoon-oppa pointed out that they are obviously in shock, especially my 3 classmates, as they were all expecting me to come back to school for good -- not come back for a few weeks and vanish.

 

I feel really bad and it's not helping that I can't do anything about it as my parents have made up their minds. My mom actually bought our plane tickets the other day, so it's a done deal. 

 

 

When I wake up the next day, I went straight to Namjoon-oppa's room. His door wasn't locked, so I tiptoed my way inside his man cave. He's still asleep, as it was too early to get up and get ready for school. I barely had any sleep last night because of what happened, and honestly I feel like it will get harder to sleep soundly as days passed and my flight to London draws nearer and nearer (why am I even complaining; I've never had a complete, uninterrupted sleep in months).

Namjoon-oppa's sleeping soundly on his side, hugging his big Ryan plushy that Hobi-oppa got him for his birthday last year. I laid beside him and gently poked his back, "Oppa..." He didn't respond, so I poked him again, "Oppa... Wake up."

He groaned, "It's too early. My phone hasn't alarmed. What are you even doing here?!" He still has his back on me. He scratched his head and continued sleeping.

I sat up, crossed my knees and laid my head on his arm like he's my personal pillow, "Do you think they're mad at me, Oppa?"

He answered, although it sounded more of a grunt than an actual word, "No."

Namjoon-oppa sat up and so my head fell and landed on one of his knee. He rubbed his eyes and playfully covered my face with a part of his blanket, "Why are you bothering me?!!!"

I yelled, "Stop! I can't breathe!" He giggled and let me go at once. 

I sat up and asked him again, "They're not mad, right?"

He smacked my head with his Ryan plushy, "No, they are not mad at you. They're just... I don't know... surprised? Sad?"

I hit him back with the plushy, "Should I talk to them then?" I hit him again once more.

He grabbed Ryan and pinched my cheek, "And say what? You're still going to London. There's nothing else you can do or say at this point that will change that fact. It'll be fine, don't worry. When you go back to school on Monday, everything will be back to normal. They're just processing everything right now. We boys handle things differently when it comes to these things. Most boys, usually in our age, are not good with feelings and dealing with them. We need to reflect and think. So let this go for now."

I groaned and laid down again, "But I feel bad, Oppa! Why do I feel so bad? I'm literally sick to my stomach. I don't remember feeling this when I was about to transfer to your school."

Namjoon-oppa laid down beside me, his head close to mine, "One word: attachment. We are all so used to our group dynamics -- of spending so much time together in school and even outside the school -- that we all took it hard when we found out that you were leaving. We were literally dismembered, like Jenga pieces..." Then he shrugged, "...I guess we are just a tight bunch, aren't we?"

I pouted, "Well... for now. Actually, the thing that upsets me that most is knowing that this will all fade, you know? Like okay, they're upset and all that and I guess in a way, in a super selfish kind of way, I'm kinda happy that they're behaving like this because it just shows how important I am to them..." Then I buried my face on his bicep, "...but let's be honest, they'll eventually get used to me being gone. VMinKook will have other girls to get close with. Jin-oppa and Yoongi-oppa are going to college and they'll find new friends there. You and Hobi-oppa are gonna be Seniors next year and --"

Namjoon-oppa covered my mouth with his hand, "I'm gonna stop you right there." He turned over on his tummy, up in his elbows, "Stop overthinking, okay? Yes, things will definitely change when you leave. Jin and Yoongi-hyung are moving to a much bigger world, Hobi and I are gonna be Seniors, VMinKook will move up and we all might gain new friends next year, but it doesn't mean we'll get used to you not being around. I speak only for myself on this context though, I'm sure I'm gonna miss you a lot when you leave."

 

I just smiled at Namjoon-oppa as I was touched by his words, but then Yoongi-oppa dived ON us out of nowhere and destroyed the moment; his whole upper torso landed on Namjoon-oppa while his , legs, and feet are on me.

I slapped his , "Ya, Oppa!!! We're having a heart-to-heart talk here! Why are you up so early?"

"Joon-ah! Aish!" Namjoon-oppa tickled his neck and so he stood up rather quickly, "I went to the bathroom and I heard you talking in here," he said. He pushed me so he could sit on Namjoon-oppa's bed, "What were you talking about?"

Namjoon-oppa sat up, and I used that opportunity to put my head on one of his thighs and place my feet on Yoongi-oppa's lap

 

(Advantage of having 2 older brothers: you can use them as a bed. HE HE HE HE).

 

Namjoon-oppa fills in Yoongi-oppa with our conversation, "Well, this anxious brat kept on asking if I think that the boys are mad at her. I've told her, atleast 106 times, that they are not."

Yoongi-oppa flicked my nose, "They are not mad at you, Nica. Stop being so upset and worried about everything. Do that when you're an adult."

I rolled my eyes, "But--"

Yoongi-oppa tickled my waist before I can even finish what I was saying, "Stop!"

I giggled. Namjoon-oppa joined in and started tickling my neck. I screamed and laughed and wiggled and rolled all over the bed, "STOP!!!! OPPAAAAA! EOMMAAAAA!!!! HELP!!!!" 

 

(Disadvantage of having 2 older brothers: they could gang up on you and knock you out in a spontaneous tickle fight.)

 

 

I'm gonna miss these 2 bullies so much.

 

---

 

 

 

I don't want to sound paranoid nor assuming, but Taehyung NEVER texts me like this. Usually, he sends emojis on every text and sometimes he even calls me around this time (it's past 3pm now, so classes are dismissed). He never tells me he's busy.

I feel like my heart is breaking into tiny pieces.

I think my brothers are right, maybe I should give the boys space. Maybe it's better this way. Maybe things will go back to normal if I leave them alone. I'll return to school on Monday and we could all just pretend that everything's okay. Maybe we could all just pretend that Jennie didn't transfer and almost ruined our lives. That I'm not leaving for London in the next few months. That it might take years before I get to see them all again. Or I might not see some of them ever.

Life is supposed to be this way, right? I mean, we never really retain every single friend we've ever had in our lives. Chaeyoung and I were inseparable throughout elementary and middle school, like literally. We would hang out together even at weekends, and sometimes do sleepovers in each others' houses. We swore to each other that we will always stay in touch even if we had moved to different schools and she moves in a different city, but we broke that promise not even a month into high school.

I still think of her as my best friend and she'll always be, but we don't talk that much anymore, not as much as we used to (I think the last time we had spoken to each other was when she had visited me in the hospital.).

 

But you know what? I think that's okay. I've come to realize that we can't expect anything to last forever. The people that come into our lives are pretty much like the seasons -- they come and go. Time passes by and we change -- we move to a different school, we change jobs, we get busy, we grow up, we fall out, we move on. That's just it.

 

So maybe, maybe I should just start detaching myself from them. It'll  be way easier for me to let go and move on to my new life in London if I'm free of all the things that's holding me back. It'll be way easier to adjust to the changes and move forward if I don't have any reason to look back. If I don't have anyone to miss.

I sat on my chair and stare at the nearly finished modules in front of me --- maybe I should get used to this. I should get used to the life without the boys. I should get used to just being by myself.

This is the best way to deal with this, Nica. I need to put everything behind me once school's over. Start with a clean slate. Forget everything that happened in the past few months. Never look back.

As I convince myself, the boys' images flashed before my eyes, and suddenly everything that I had planned goes above my head -- Jimin's eye smiles, Taehyung's warm hugs, Jungkook's laugh when he disses me, Hobi-oppa's funny sound effects and heartwarming stories, Namjoon-oppa's wise advice and tickles every morning, Jin-oppa's bare existence that gives life to my heart, and Yoongi-oppa's overprotectiveness (which drive me crazy at times) -- how can I throw all of this away?

These boys became my whole world and I didn't even notice it gradually happening until it did. 

 

I am screwed. So screwed.

 

 

---

 

I got tired of overthinking and so I decided to finish all my pending schoolwork as a way of distraction (Mind you, it was a bit effective). I was re-writing my answers when Namjoon-oppa shoots me a text.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I stopped texting him, hurriedly changed my clothes and left the house. I reached Burger King before the sun had set. Namjoon-oppa was already waiting for me by the entrance

"You don't have to defend your rap battle champion title tonight?" I said, as I gasp for breath from walking too fast.

He shook his head, "Are you okay? Did you drink your meds today? How are your burns?"

"I'm okay, Oppa. Some of my burns are starting to scar even though I always put ointment on them."  I shrugged.

Namjoon-oppa looked at his phone and texted somebody. Then he faced me, "Let's go? Where was that ice cream shop again?"

I started walking, "It's just a few blocks away from here. Near that clothing store that you love going to."

 

We started walking (we should've taken the bus though, we didn't realize how far it was) and I noticed that Namjoon-oppa kept on checking his phone for messages. He would ask me questions about my schoolwork or what I did today and tell me about his day as well, but his eyes are on his phone all the time. I tried to be nosy and see who's he texting, but he's good in hiding his cell before I even take a peak! Err.

"Who are you texting? Rap Monster's got a girlfriend now?" I asked, trying to lowkey pry.

He snorted, "No. How am I gonna get a girlfriend? I'm so busy with academics and co-curricular activities and rap battles and it doesn't help that almost all of the girls in my class either swoon over Jin-hyung or your three muskeeteers..." then he glares at me, "...and stop calling me Rap Monster."

I can't help but to have a smug look on my face upon his reply, "If you don't have a girlfriend then maybe a... Boyfriend? Oppa, promise I won't judge --"

He pinched my cheeks, "Also no. I don't swing that way."

I pouted, "Then why do you keep on texting?!"

"I was just texting Yoongi-hyung, telling him that you are with me. He might call the police if he comes home and you're not there. You know how overreacting he is when it comes to you these days. He's a softy for you." He answered.

I chuckled, "Well, he told me that when Jimin had told you guys about the fire, you sobbed like a baby that he had to literally carry you to the hospital, so I guess you're a softy for me too?"

He made a face at me, admitting that he's defeated.

Just then, we finally reached the ice cream place. I quickly grab a table while Namjoon-oppa orders for us.

After ordering, he joined our table, "They said it's gonna be a while."

I looked around, "That's weird. It's not too busy here today."

"Uhm... I don't... I don't know. That's what they said. Maybe they ran out of milk?" Namjoon-oppa then sat across me and checked his phone... again.

"Did they tell you how long it's going to be? I've got an appointment with Ms. Bae tomorrow, so I wanted to finish all my homework and modules today." I told him. 

He glanced at the cashier, "Uhmmm... 15 minutes?" He checks his phone again, locks it then looks at me, "Anyway, are you excited to come back to school?"

"Well, not until after my appointment with Ms. Bae. She is the dealbreaker right?" I replied.

Namjoon-oppa nodded and changed the topic. He tells me about his day, and it turns out that it's been an eventful day for him and the boys -- Hobi-oppa aced their exams for the first time in forever ("I think it's because you enrolled him to that dance camp this Summer. He's more motivated to study now. He finally got his groove."), Jin-oppa is a candidate for class valedictorian (Wow, how can I not admire this guy?), Taehyung, our Kim Taehyung, who always complain about studying, made it to the principal's list of outstanding students in academics (I don't know if I should be more surprised or proud of this), Yoongi-oppa received a college scholarship for being one of our school's basketball varsity players (Mom and Dad will be so happy!!!), Jimin won as the Vice President of our school's Dance Club for the next school year (Hobi-oppa's the president, of course), and Jungkook bagged his 8th track and field gold medal today.

Then I asked him, "How about you? What happened to you today?"

He shrugged and smiled, "Not much, I guess."

Namjoon-oppa never, NEVER brags about his academic achievements to us. He's so intelligent and gifted, yet so humble. I tapped his hand, "Wait, let me guess... you made it to the honor roll, too?"

He smiled again, showing his dimples, "Yeah..." then he scratched his head, "I'm also skipping all my final exams."

I furrowed my brows, "Why? Your GPA is high enough?" I covered my mouth with my hand,  "What is it?"

He looked down and whispered, "3.98."

I gasped, "3.98?! That's almost perfect! Oh my Goodness. Wow. Just wow. Oppa, I'm so proud of you!!!! Wow. I have a genius of a brother, I can't believe it."

He got so flustered that he ended up covering his face, "Ya, it's nothing. Don't make it a big deal."

I removed his hands on his face and tapped his chin, "It IS a big deal! I should've been the one who got you ice cream. You deserve a treat." 

 

I'm so proud of my boys' achievements, but I can't help but feel left out at the same time. There they are, excelling in their own ways, slowly creating their places in this world. I wish I do, too.

 

Then our ice cream came, at last. Namjoon-oppa got us large sundaes -- he ordered my usual Triple Fudge and he got himself a Rocky Road Brownie. We talked some more while enjoying our treats.

Now Namjoon-oppa opens up about the new songs that he just listened to (he even downloaded some on my phone), how he finds inspiration in writing songs for his rap battles, and what his plans are for his Senior Year. He did almost all of the talking, and I can't help but realize how warm and educated he is as a person. I'm just so lucky to be his sister.

I have a lot to learn from Namjoon-oppa. He's just 2 years older than me, but I feel like he's got twice the depth and maturity than I do. At times, he seems to be a man who has gone through this world at least twice, as he has such an endless amount of wisdom in him. It just amazes me.

 

As our conversation moves along, I finally told him more about this whole Jennie thing and how scared I am to go to London. After that, he texted for a bit again then finally asked me to come home. We left the shop around 8pm.

 

 

Upon reaching the house, there was a faint noise, more like music, coming from our backyard. I was scared for a minute because I don't remember leaving the radio on and I'm sure our parents aren't home yet, so what the heck??

"What is that? Is Yoongi-oppa home already?" I asked Namjoon-oppa as we walk towards the backyard.

He didn't answer me.

As we walk closer and closer to the backyard, the music gets louder and clearer. Someone's playing a guitar and someone is singing, and I know who that voice belongs to.

Chills went down to my spine. I faced Namjoon-oppa who was walking behind me, "Is that Jungkook? Jungkook's singing? At our backyard? At this time?"

He didn't answer me again. He just shrugged. What is going on?!

 

I opened the backyard only to find out the sweetest surprise ever.

 

Namjoon-oppa kissed me on the cheek and walk past me, "Surprise, Nica."

 

He joined Hobi-oppa, Jimin and Taehyung (who was softly singing too) in standing behind Jin-oppa who was sitting at the centre of our backyard, playing the guitar while Jungkook sings my favorite song on his other side. They were all wearing long sleeves and bowties, except Namjoon-oppa who was still wearing his school uniform.

I looked around, and I noticed that they had decorated our backyard. The garden beds surrounding it were illuminated with string lights and each bed has a heart balloon tied on it.

Yoongi-oppa then showed up, also in long sleeves and a teal bowtie, with a bouquet of roses that he handed to me.

"What is all this?! Why are you all here?!" I asked.

Jimin stopped singing and replied, "We just need to ask you one question."

The 5 of them, excluding Jin-oppa and Jungkook, who were still playing the guitar and singing respectively, picked up a 15x20in. illustration board and flipped them to me one by one:

Yoongi-oppa's board says, "WILL YOU"

Hobi-oppa's board read, "BE OUR"

Jimin's board says, "DATE" and it has a drawing of seven boys and one girl in it, which I'm assuming is us

Taehyung's board read, "TO THE"

Namjoon-oppa's board says, "SPRING DANCE"

Then Jin-oppa stopped playing and flipped his guitar, showing a question mark placed on the back of it.

Jungkook then stopped singing, cleared his throat, showed his sweetest and biggest smile to me, and said, "Nica, will you be our date to the spring dance?"

 

 

This moment. This exact second. This right here.

This is the reason why I don't want to leave. Why I'm so attached. Why I don't want to just forget everything and start anew. Why home's always gonna hold me back.

Yes, I've come to realize that the people in our lives are just like the seasons -- they come and go. But not these boys.

 

 

I don't want them to be like the seasons. I don't want to be like the seasons that just come and go, too.

 

 

This moment. This exact second. This right here.

What I would give to stop time. To just stay in this moment for as long as I could. To feel this much love for as long as I want to. To have them all here with me for as long as I need.

 

 

I nodded, showed the sweetest and sincerest smile I have ever had in years, and finally answered, "Yes."

 

The boys all screamed and gave high fives to each other.

I walked towards them, wiping my tears away, "Who planned all this?!" I then faced Taehyung and punched him on the shoulder, "You were so cold to me 4 hours ago! Was that part of your scheme?! Who told you to ignore me?!"

Taehyung rubbed the part of his shoulder that I just hit and pointed at Jungkook, "Blame him. This is all his plan. He sent us a text this morning telling us to ignore you all day so you won't be suspicious. He was the one replying to your texts that time, not me!" He hit Jungkook's chest, "Tell her, Guk-ah!"

"You all told them to act like you?!" I raised my brows, pretending to be upset with Jungkook.

I could hear Jimin whispering "Oooh, burn." and Hobi-oppa saying, "Maybe she'll all take us as dates except Kookie." in the background.

Jungkook's eyes grew big and I could tell that he's flustered as he was put on-the-spot, "Well, I-I just thought that the surprise would be more effective if... if we all don't speak to you." He scratched his head, "I'm sorry if --"

I smiled, "I'm just kidding. I was really worried that you're all mad but as it turned out you just wanted to surprise me. It definitely worked. I was really moved. Thank you." Then I pushed him, "But don't you ever give me the cold treatment again! I felt so bad I couldn't sleep!"

"I'm sorry, Nica." Jungkook said, as we exchanged sweet smiles to each other.

Jimin then pushed Jungkook out of the way, "Here we go again, Kookie's taking all the credit!!!! I was the one who thought about the balloons and I even drew that cute cartoon --"

I held Jimin's hand and he immediately stopped talking, "Thank you, Jimin. You worked so hard in giving me this surprise. I am so touched."

"I suddenly forgot why I'm mad. What was I saying again?" Jimin said, giggling.

Jin-oppa then said to me, "So... you're our date to the Spring Dance. You can't back out now."

I automatically blushed just looking at him, "Well, are you sure you all want to take me? Don't you have anyone else to ask?"

The boys looked at each other then they all switched their eyes at me and shook their heads.

Hobi-oppa then came to me and touched my chin, "I'm sorry for being upset last night, Nica. It's just... we didn't expect to hear that news from you. Sorry if you felt bad because of us."

Yoongi-oppa tries to lighten up the mood, "Now, now... enough with the drama. Nica's our date to the Spring Dance. Now, can we eat? I'm starving."

Jin-oppa then dissed him, "He's just changing the topic 'cause he was about to cry."

Yoongi-oppa gave him a dirty look while we all laughed.

Yoongi-oppa defends himself, "Ya, I'm really starving! We had a busy day. We went to the art store to buy those boards and markers, then we had to run by the department store to buy the balloons and lights then you and I had to pick up Nica's flowers then we had to decorate this whole thing as fast as we can because Joon-ah can't stall Nica forever..."

I looked at Namjoon-oppa, "Was that why you were on your phone the whole time?! You were updating them?!"

Namjoon-oppa nodded and smiled, "And I really told the cashier to delay our ice cream to buy the boys more time."

I looked at the boys' faces and said, "Thank you, really. I can't express how grateful and happy I am right now. I feel like I'm the most beautiful girl in the world. Thank you guys."

 

Hobi-oppa asked if we could take a picture as a memorabilia of this day, and so Yoongi-oppa set up the camera, and we all stood at the middle of our backyard, in front of the twinkly lights and heart balloons. I held my bouquet tight and positioned to the center.

Yoongi-oppa then said, as he pressed the capture button, "Ready? Try to act normal for this one, first." then the camera started counting, so he ran to Jimin's side as quickly as possible.

We all checked the camera to see how it looked like.

"Wow, look at that. So beautiful." Jin-oppa said.

"I know right? It's a perfect photo." Hobi-oppa added.

Jin-oppa then jokingly answered, "I was talking about my face, but okay."

All of us glowered at him at first and he just laughed, his signature laugh (the one that sounds like someone's wiping windows or something), which made us all burst in laughter as well.

"Let's do another photo! Let's make funny faces this time!" Taehyung then said.

"Go stand there again then." Yoongi-oppa told us to return to our places while he set the camera again.

The second photo was hilarious. We were all over the place: My mouth was hanging widely open as I was laughing out loud, Taehyung managed to hop onto Jungkook's back and both of them had the wackiest faces, Namjoon-oppa made an aegyo pose, Hobi-oppa pouted and did the peace sign while his bum was hanging like he was twerking, Jimin was almost on the grass, laughing, and Jin-oppa had a wacky face while was holding Yoongi-oppa cheeks, like he was forcing him to smile.

I had tears in my eyes upon seeing the photo.

"Ya, Nica, why are you crying all of a sudden?" Yoongi-oppa asked.

I shook my head and wiped my tears rather quickly, "Nothing, nothing. I'm just so happy right now. These are happy tears."

 

 

---

 

 

Okay, let's fast forward to our much-awaited event, the Spring Dance! Yes, I got cleared by Ms. Bae. We had an extensive (and emotional) discussion: she asked me basically about everything -- my emotions, fears, plans in life -- and I gathered that I shouldn't hide anything from her. She knows what she's doing and she wants to help me, and so I have to help her too. I told her all about our London plans (and why I'm strongly opposed to it), how I eventually got over my claustrophobia and monophobia (thank Goodness they are just temporary), and how I'm coping after the incident (she had this questionnaire that she used in asking me; she said it's for 'diagnostic' purposes. I don't exactly know what that means, but whatever.)

I also followed up with my doctor the day after. He checked my burns, and although some of them scarred, he was glad that most of them are completely healed. He also checked my respiration, making sure that my breathing isn't compromised anymore (he kept on telling me that if they had taken me to the hospital a minute later, I would have died of suffocation. Yikes.). After our appointment, he also cleared me for school.

 

My parents had no choice but to let me finish the school term. HA HA HA

My brothers also convinced my dad (he was the one who was against it... grr) to let me go to the Spring Dance. HA HA HA HA HA

 

The first day I got back, my classmates were all mindful of me, especially the girls. They were all overly concerned about me ("Nica, do you need some help with your books?, "Here are my notes!", "Nica, don't move too much!") that I had to tell them off as I don't want any special treatment from anyone. Gosh.

Speaking of the girls, they've completely turned over a new leaf. They are super nice to me now, and I can see how hard they try to make up for their past actions. They'd come to my desk and have small talks with me before class starts, and Irene even invited me to their lunch table. I'm glad that we're finally getting along, but it's just unfortunate that it happened right before I was leaving.

Also, I finished my modules, and I'm also caught up with all of my lessons!!!!! I had a couple of tutoring (and a lot of eating sessions too) from the boys, and bless them for helping me catch up with academics (again, I had to bribe them with food first). We spent almost every weekend at our house, doing "group studies".

 

So, yeah. All is good. I guess.

 

 

 

 

 

Aaaggggghh, here's Jungkook again, making my heart race.

I think I know what he wants to tell me (maybe it's that thing that I heard them saying at the change rooms?), but what if it's something else?

 

 

 

 

See you later, beautiful?

Did he just call me beautiful?

 

 

---

 

"You are so beautiful."

My mom's sitting on my bed right now, staring at me. I just finished putting on my ball gown (it was a red heart-shaped tube gown that we had picked out from the department store a week ago), and I'm all ready for the Spring Dance.

I swear her eyes are watery right now. Oh my Goodness. I can totally see where I got my emotional trait from, "I can't believe our baby is all grown-up now. You grew up so well, Nica."

"Mom, please don't cry. I'm gonna start crying too!" I said, and we both laughed. Just then, my brothers came inside my room, all prepped too.

Mom stood up and fixed Namjoon-oppa's tie, "I made such beautiful and smart children. I am so lucky." Then she went and fixed Yoongi-oppa's suit, "Take care of your sister, alright?"

"Yes, Mom." my brothers answered in chorus.

 

 

Our dad drove us to school because we cant' walk with our outfits, obviously. He reiterated his rules to us while he was driving (1.Take care of Nica, 2. Don't drink, 3. If you do drink, don't drink lots, 4. Have fun, 5. Go home before 2am).

"Do you want me to pick you up after?" Dad asked before he drove off.

Namjoon-oppa shook his head, "It's fine, Dad. Rest. I think Jin-hyung brought his car, we can have him drive us home."

Dad smiled, "Okay then. You have fun, but be responsible." then he drove off.

 

We went to the venue (aka the Gymnasium) with my arms entangled with each of my brother's arm. The school did a great job in transforming our usually sporty and sweaty gym into a fantasy-like events place. The three of us were so enthralled by the place that we had to stop walking to look around. There were flowers literally everywhere: on the ceiling, on the bleachers, doors, tables, the stage, and there's also a big centerpiece filled with maybe a hundred dozens of assorted flowers. Dim, twinkly lights hanging on the ceiling gave the place a romantic, dreamlike vibe, and I suddenly remember how the boys decorated our backyard with these kinds of lights.

The other boys arrived one by one, and we were complete by the time the event started. Loud, party music started blasted off the speakers and we were all on our feet dancing and laughing in the dance floor. We danced and danced and laughed and danced and danced until the music changed into a romantic ballad.

"What now?" Yoongi-oppa said.

"Now we take turns in dancing our date." Namjoon-oppa answered.

"Screw this, I'm dancing with you Jiminie." Hobi-oppa grabbed Jimin's arm and they playfully slow danced to the romantic music. We all burst out laughing.

Namjoon-oppa then faced me and offered his hand, "Me first! May I have this dance, Nica?"

I smiled at him and gave mine, "My pleasure."

The other boys sat down (I even heard Yoongi oppa saying, "I need a drink. I can't dance to slow songs. I need to be drunk first.") and took a rest for a bit.

 

We started dancing, and I kept help but giggling as Namjoon-oppa struggle not to step on my gown or my foot.

"Sorry, I don't really dance. You know that." he said.

"It's fine, we're fine." I answered.

Then he started to get serious, "You take care of yourself in London, okay? It's a big world out there, but I know you can make it."

"Are we really saying our goodbyes right now?" I said.

"It's just... After today, we are all gonna be busy with Finals and everything. I might not get to tell you this before you leave." he looked into my eye, "I'm gonna miss you so much, Nica." Then Namjoon-oppa stopped swaying me and hugged me real tight as we continued dancing. I can feel the back of my head getting wet; I think he's crying.

Yoongi-oppa then tapped Namjoon-oppa's back, "Time's up. It's my turn. Grab a tissue and sit down."

Namjoon-oppa let me go and Yoongi-oppa switched to his place.

"You're really shorter than Joonie-oppa." I said to him jokingly.

He rolled his eyes at me, "Yeah, whatever." I chuckled.

He smiled his smile, his gummy smile, "I'm having regrets siding with our parents about London. I think I'm changing my mind. I don't want you to leave, Nica."

I sighed, "Well, too late."

Then he said to me, "Should I just fail my finals so I can't graduate? If I don't graduate, maybe Mom will change her mind and stay until I do."

I hugged Yoongi-oppa, my chin on his shoulder, "Don't do that, you brat."

Yoongi-oppa kissed the side of my head, "Who's gonna pester me everyday now? Who's gonna wake me up at 3 in the morning just to kill a bug?"

"Get a girlfriend. She can do that for you." I replied. Yoongi-oppa chuckled.

Then Hobi-oppa came to us, jumping and wiggling like a kid, "My turn!!!!!"

Yoongi-oppa released me from his embrace and let Hobi-oppa take over.

Hobi-oppa twirled me around, "You're so pretty tonight, Nica."

I smiled widely at him, "Thank you, Oppa."

He then said, "Since it's just the two of us here, I just want to say thank you. Thank you for supporting me with my dream and helping me reach it. I'll always be grateful to you."

"I'm your biggest fan, Oppa. I'm happy that you're happy." I replied.

He then twirled me around some more, and even made me do fake ballroom (even if the music wasn't suiting, which made it even funnier) dancing. 

When we're done with our "dance", he hugged me and whispered to my ear, "Come back real soon, okay? Watch me perform. I'll save one of the front seats for you."

Then he let me go, as Jimin was approaching us. Jimin took both of my hands and placed them on his shoulder, his hands on my waist.

"Are you tired with all the dancing today?" he says to me, his eyes shaped like half moons again from smiling.

"Yes, but I don't mind. I like dancing with all of you." I answered.

"Your brothers got all teary after dancing with you, so I'll try not to cry." he said, making both of us giggle.

"I'm sure you're tired of hearing this already, but you look so beautiful. That red gown suits you. I should've worn a red tie." 

I touched his necktie, "Black looks good on you though."

We looked at each other and smiled, cherishing the moment.

He then pouted, "It seems like yesterday when I met you, and now you're leaving." 

"It's not like I'm gone for good. We can still talk, you know." I pinched his cheek.

"It's different. I'm so used to you just talking to you whenever I want. Like, literally, I don't even have to move. You're right there, beside me." He then let out a heavy sigh, "You're the best seatmate ever."

Then Jimin embraced me and we swayed to the slow, romantic music. I'm gonna miss this boy so much.

"Agh, I need to go. I might cry any minute now." Jimin removed his arms around me and walked away.

Taehyung then stood up and took his turn in dancing with me. He's not saying a word though, staring at me while we dance.

"Why are you so quiet? Did you eat something bad? Are they out of strawberry juice?" I finally asked.

"Anya..." He shook his head,  "...I just think that it's partly my fault why you're leaving." He pulled me closer to him, my ear touching his cheek, "Jennie enrolled to our school because of me. She attacked you because of me."

I moved away and touched his cheeks, "Hey, don't say that. Stop blaming yourself for Jennie's actions. It's not your fault."

"I'm sorry." Taehyung said. I've never seen him this serious and upset.

I hugged him, "Stop feeling so bad, TaeTae."

He hugged me back and said, "I'm gonna miss you so, so much. You leaving feels like someone banned me from eating strawberries, and you know how much I like strawberries."

"So... you like me as much as you like strawberries?" I asked.

He gave me a light squeeze and said, "Yes, I do."

Before our dance ended, he whispered, "I'll be waiting for you, Nica." 

Just then, Jin-oppa came to the dance floor. My heart started beating so fast. I placed my hands on his shoulder and he put his on my waist rather carefully. I can't even look at him for the life of me, I think I'll faint.

He moved my chin with his fingers, telling me to look his way, "Hey, my eyes are in here." 

I finally gazed at her, and my cheeks automatically flushed, "Do I really have to stare at you?"

"Well, that what people who slow dance do, right? I don't know." he replied, chuckling.

I didn't reply; I just awkwardly kept on glancing at him.

He then complained, "Ya, I've been watching you dance, why did you get so shy when it comes to me?"

"I've always been like this when it comes to you." I said. God, Nica. What are you saying? Stop right there.

He smirked. My Goodness, he freaking smirked!!! "Yes, and I kept on asking Yoongi why, and he kept on telling me that it's better if I ask you."

 

I'm leaving shortly. He's going to college. We're not gonna see each other for a while. I think it's safe to confess now. 

It's now or never.

Oh my God.

My armpits are sweating.

 

 

I exhaled deeply and finally, finally, confessed, "Well... uhm... For the longest time, I've had this... like... crush on you? I can't even remember when it started, but it's been a long time. So... you know... Yeah. That's why." 

Jin-oppa then smiled, "Really?" He then scratched his head. He must have been shy. Aigoo, who wouldn't be?

I nodded, "I figured it's better that I let this out of my chest once and for all. I don't expect anything from you, don't worry. It's just... you're my happy crush."

"Wow... I-I had no idea. Like, sure, I get it. I'm handsome and all, but --" I hit him on the shoulder and he stopped talking. We just laughed.

"In all fairness, I've always thought you're pretty." he said, and he let me go before I get to even react to that.

 

 

Oh my Goodness.

I think I'm camouflaging into my red dress right now. Like, I'm literally turning red. All of me. I can feel it.

I'm out of words once again.

How dare him say something like that and just leave?!

 

 

I was still flustered by Jin-oppa's words when Jungkook came up to me to dance.

"I guess I'm the last one." he said, as he positioned his hands on my waist.

I just nodded and smiled. We just danced for a bit; not saying anything to each other. My heart is still beating so fast, but it's different as compared to when Jin-oppa was dancing with me, as it flutters more than it beats. I don't know why.

"Oh, uhm... You told me earlier to remind you that you were... you were gonna tell me something." I said, awkwardly.

His ears suddenly turned red, "Ah, yes... Uhm..."

I gripped onto his shoulders, anticipating what he's about to tell me.

He cleared his throat, "When you were waiting for us outside the change rooms, did you hear our conversation?"

I am gonna still lie? Aaagh, "Uhmmm..."

He then said, "This maybe the one and only chance that I'll ever get. Who knows when you're coming back to London or when we'll ever see other again. This is basically breaching my brotherly oath with Jimin and Taehyung --"

I stopped him, "I heard you. I wasn't planning on eavesdropping 'cause I just wanted to surprise you, but I heard the whole thing."

He stood there, frozen.

I continued on, "And now I get why you've always acted that way. I agree with Tae and Chim, you could've handled it way differently, but maybe it was way easier for you to just avoid me. I completely understand why you needed to create that deal about me and I admire you guys for prioritizing our friendship. I also want to thank you for saving my life more than once. You might be a snob, but you're always there when I need you the most. Thank you."

He just blinked at me.

I pinched his cheek, "Ya, say something."

He pulled me closer to him and enveloped me into his arms, "As I have told you before, I'm really not good with words."

I was taken aback for a moment, but I hugged him right back, "It's okay. This hug tells me everything."

He then said, right into my ear, "I'll still go with our deal. I'll wait till Graduation. And maybe when that day comes, I'll finally have the courage to ask you out." 

 

 

Then the DJ changed it to party music again, and we let go of each other, too flustered to say another word. I don't know how to respond to his words, and it seems like he was embarrassed by what he had said. Why are we like this? 

We went back to our table and I sat down to rest and eat. After half an hour, we all went to the photobooth and took lots (maybe 50? We went wild, man.) of photos. By the time we took our last photo, it was all blurry as Taehyung, Hobi-oppa and Jungkook ran amok and had us all laughing.

Yoongi-oppa let me drink one Jell-o shots and that's it. In contrary, they had VMinKook drink too much fruity-flavored gin that they were pretty much out of it when we left the party.

Jin-oppa, being the responsible eldest, didn't drink and drove us all home (in his silver SUV; he got his driver's license last month). He dropped us around 1:46am, which is still a few minutes spare our curfew. My brothers didn't even bother saying good night to me as they are both drunk so they went straight to their bedrooms (Yoongi-oppa didn't even make it to his bed; he slept on the floor).

I took a shower to wash my hair and remove my make-up. It took me a while to get off my gown, but I still managed (Am I independent or what?). Before I went to bed, I grabbed my phone from my purse and I saw one of our photobooth pictures that I chose to keep.

I placed the photo on my study desk, beside our Spring Dance Proposal photo that I've printed. I stared at the 2 photos smiled to myself, remembering how happy I was in those moments.

 

 

 

And that was when I was finally ready to leave, knowing that I will carry those precious moments with me.