Tick... Tock... Tick... Tock...

Has the wall clock been this loud or it's just too quiet in here that I can hear it?

Our mom's staring at me. Like, literally staring at me. She's sitting on a stool just beside my head, shifting her hands between caressing my face and touching my arm carefully (the arm connected to the dextrose). She's crying, but quietly. She has not uttered even a single word since she and Dad came (all our friends had left instantly when they arrived, by the way. Obviously they wouldn't wanna be here while we were being scolded).

She's just crying and touching me and her actions just gets creepier and creepier as time passes. 

Eomma is absolutely not the silent type. She nags us every time we, or my brothers atleast, get into trouble. She nags and nags until we get her point and apologize and swear to never do it again. Each morning before going to school, she has this habit of telling us to finish our food, do our assignments before going to bed, stay out of trouble, clean our rooms ("Namjoon, you can't call this a room! This is a jungle! You have a laundry basket for a reason. Why are your clothes on the floor?!"), and that no matter what happens, she will always love us.

She never wastes a minute to badger Joonie and Yoongi-oppa whenever they mess up, so her silence is truly scaring the heck out of me. I guess I messed up big time that she doesn't have any will left in her to lecture me.

Our dad, on the other hand, has been pacing back and forth for 30 minutes now. He hasn't said one word either; he would look at me and attempt to say something and just end up shaking his head and continues on shuffling. Following him with my eyes makes me nauseous.

Appa, in contrast, is the quiet one. Yoongi-oppa takes after him, I guess. They don't say nor show much, so when they do express their affection anyone would attest to their sincerity. He's been strict with us since we were kids (more than our mom, believe it or not), but I think dads are supposed to be like that. He'd always let our mom do the nagging first and if things got worse or she can't handle it anymore (I remember that one time when my brothers fought over a gameboy, so bad that they ended up punching each other, our dad picked them up on each arm, smacked them on their butts and locked them in our parents' room until they make up. The next day he bought another gameboy so they wouldn't have to fight again), Appa takes care of it. He handles the bigger problems, so he'll handle this for sure.

He's always working, sometimes even on weekends to make ends meet, but he never fails to text me everyday (he doesn't say much though; he just tells me to take care and go home early) and he would always, always bring me something when he gets home.

He's never good with words like our mom so I'm not surprised that he's struggling right now.

I wish he could say something though. Both of them. Anything.

I looked at my brothers who were sitting at the couch just below where the noisy wall clock is installed. Both of them are showing clear signs of internal panic --- Namjoon-oppa is twiddling his thumbs while Yoongi-oppa is biting his nails (Goodness, the last time I saw them looking like this was 2 years ago, when Yoongi-oppa drove our car without Dad's permission and he rear-ended our neighbor's motorcycle. Namjoon-oppa was riding shotgun so he got into trouble too).

Tick... Tock... Tick... Tock...

That wall clock is driving me nuts. I swear if I could just leave this bed, I would destroy it.

Our dad, finally, stopped walking, and spoke. My brothers were both stunned upon hearing his voice. They're scared of him. I am, too. "Yoongi, correct me if I'm wrong, and I do hope I am wrong because what you had told me over the phone didn't make sense at all. Not one bit..." He held onto the footboard of my bed and sighed heavily, "So... Nica has been bullied by her classmates since she started going to your school to the point that one of them locked her in a room full of wooden armchairs and set it on fire? And it's all because she's been hanging out with your group?!"

Yoongi-oppa swallowed a lump in his throat. I swear his milky white face just got whiter, "Yes."

Our mom whimpered. That's a progress, I guess? Atleast she's making sounds now.

Our dad shut his eyes closed and let out another heavy sigh, "Namjoon-ah... you said that you two will handle the hospital bills because you have won a rap battle. Rap battle. What the heck is that?!"

My brothers looked at each other. Namjoon-oppa replied, his voice a little squeaky, "We... We've been... We've been joining underground rap battles since last year. Don't worry, they're safe. We earn money 'cause we always win."

Our dad raised his voice, but he sounded full of worry and shock, "So you're telling me that all this time, my youngest and only daughter has been mistreated and almost, ALMOST, died and your school is not aware nor even doing anything about it and my sons are underground... rappers? Rappers that join these hidden, not to mention also illegal, battles to earn money so you could help us with our family's expenses?! And all this time we are not aware of this?!!"

"This is my fault." Our mom said. I felt slightly relieved to hear her voice again, "I have been so busy with work that I didn't even have enough time to monitor you. My princess was having such a hard time at school and it was too late before I found out about it." She sobbed even more and I can't help but cry too. It pains my heart to see her break down because of me.

"I'm sorry for making you both worry." I said. I tried reaching for my mom but I can't.

Our dad then yelled, I guess he's just too frustrated and worried and enraged by every bit of information that was laid on him today that he just needs something or someone to take responsibility, to blame. And of course it had to be my brothers, "You promised to protect your sister at all times! What ---"

I stopped him instantly for saying anything further that would blow this out of proportion, if that's even possible 'cause I'm sure this is it. We, I, have hit rock bottom, "Please don't blame them, Appa. They did everything in their power to protect me. I am not a toddler anymore. You can't expect them to watch over me all the time; there are battles that I need to face alone. This, this situation, this is all on me. It's not Yoongi-oppa nor Namjoon-oppa's fault that I nearly died. Don't ever take this out on them. This happened to me not because they were irresponsible. This happened because I was."

And then that's it. One second our dad was this high, indestructible tower that we are all terrified of -- tall and sturdy and brave and now he crumbles into a sobbing mess like our mom.

Which made me cry even more, of course.

He kneels on my side, in front of Mom and holds my hand, still sobbing as he said, "When your Yoongi-oppa told me that they're in the hospital because something happened to you, I was so scared that I can't even think straight. You are so precious to me, to us, Nica. I don't know what could have happened if we lost you..." he then turned around to face my brothers, who were both crying silently, "I'm sorry if I took the blame on you for what happened."

Namjoon-oppa stood up, placed his long arms around our dad and gave him the biggest and warmest back hug, "It's okay, Appa. You were right, we failed in taking care of Nica. I'm sorry."

Yoongi-oppa also stood up and ran to our mom, knelt in front of her and hugged her by the waist, "Mom, I'm sorry. I am the eldest. I should take all the responsibility."

Mom hugged him back and gently patted him in the head, "Yoongi, I don't blame you and Namjoon. I'm just glad that you are all okay. That's the only thing that matters to me."

Yoongi-oppa buried his face on Mom's chest and cried, "I'm so sorry for being a pain in the . I always make you worry. I'm sorry." He then turned his back and grabbed Dad into a quick hug, "Appa, I'm sorry."

Dad smiled and rustled his hair, "Aigoo, my eldest..." He embraced Yoongi-oppa in return and said, all teary-eyed, "I'm sorry, too. Thank you for being the temporary me whenever I'm not at home and for helping our family in the best way you can -- it must be hard to be a working student."

Namjoon-oppa fell to his knees and hugged Mom as well. Tears fell from Mom's eyes again, "My baby Joonie... When did you get to be so big?"

Namjoon-oppa chuckled, "Puberty."

I then pouted and said, to light the vibe up, "What about me? I should get a hug too right?"

It was effective as all 4 of them chuckled and looked at me, and for a moment I was slightly thankful that Jennie almost killed me because if it hadn't been for her, we wouldn't all be here in the same room, talking about our feelings, making amends, laughing and hugging each other. We wouldn't be like a family again. 

"Nica, are you sure you're okay? Do you need anything?" Yoongi-oppa asked.

I nodded and smiled, this time definitely not faking it, "Yes, I am okay. Actually, I'm more than okay."

The guys all stood up and sat on the couch, looking more relaxed and at ease.

I figured that it's the perfect timing to joke about my brothers' alter egos, "Although... Suga-oppa, do you mind getting me some water? Or Rap Monster-oppa could get it 'cause he's closer to the water dispenser."

The look on my parents' and brothers' faces were priceless. My parents looked puzzled, staring at me and obviously waiting for an explanation; Namjoon-oppa covered his face with his hands in embarrassment and Yoongi-oppa's usually small eyes doubled in surprise.

Namjoon-oppa tried to utter words at me, "How did you--"

"People always call you by these names and I never figured out why, it's nice to finally know where they came from." I replied, with a smug look on my face, "I can't believe my brothers are badass rappers. You could totally beat Jay-Z in a rap battle."

Both of them gave me an evil look. Teasing them is so satisfying!

Dad cleared his throat, rubbed his chin and asked, "Hmmm... so rapping huh? Do you wear gold chains and have...like these crazy, weird hairstyles? Do you take drugs too?! I swear to God --"

Namjoon-oppa scratched his head and rolled his eyes, "DAD! God no! We are NOT one of those. We dress... I don't know. When I go to battles I usually dress casually.. Hyung always wear a jersey for some reason."

Dad then asked, eyes wide with curiosity, "Jersey? Do you like... play basketball while rapping?! Hang on, aren't you too young to join these rap war... battle... fight... I don't know..."

It's Yoongi-oppa's turn to enlighten our male parent, "Well, I'm 19. Joonie here just turned 18 remember? So we're not minors. Besides, we don't hang out after the battles. We go home right after they give us the payment. We have been doing this for a year now, so they know us. It's okay, Dad."

Mom and I glanced at each other, smiling. Listening to our boys' conversation is really amusing as it happens once in a blue moon.

Dad stared at the ceiling, hands on his temples, processing the information that was just given to him. He sit up straight and shoots another query, "Okay... codenames! I assume Nica just called you by your codename?"

"Stage name, Appa. They need stage names to look cooler." I said, giggling.

Namjoon-oppa glares at me, then smiled shyly at Dad, "Rap Monster is my stage name."

Dad covered his mouth, and let out the widest grin that he's ever had, "RAP MONSTER. Wow, that's... wow. You live up to your name I suppose."

Namjoon-oppa smiled again, this time his cute dimples have decided to make an appearance, "I have a lot to improve."

Dad gives him a side hug, "Well... if this makes you happy. Then who am I to stop you right? It amazes me how you can maintain being on top of your class even when you join these battles on a regular basis. You make me proud, Joonie." He then turned to Yoongi-oppa, "How about you? Nica said something a while ago but I forgot what it was. Wait, I'll just guess... Rap Machine? Rap God? The Amazing Yoongi?"

Yoongi-oppa shakes his head in embarrassment, "I'm still undecided with my stage name as I don't really do battles as frequent as Joon-ah 'cause I have a part-time job, right? They call me Suga because I'm a shooting guard when I play basketball in school and I've used that name a couple of times, but for intense battles, I go by Agust D."

Dad blinked. I think he's still guessing where Agust D came from, "Agust D. It's a scary name. It's... badass."

Namjoon-oppa then compliments our older brother, "Hyung is the fastest among the rappers here in our area, including me. He spits fire onstage."

"Well, I'm not surprised as your Hyung loves reading nursery rhymes when he was younger. Is that how you realize you wanted to rap?! You were inspired by Humpty Dumpty?!" Dad covered his mouth with his hands, pretending to be shocked. We all laughed so hard.

I missed him. He's so funny when he's in the mood. He could be the life of the party when he wants to. Again, another trait that Yoongi-oppa got from him.

When the laughter died down, our dad stood up, and came to me, "I guess I should go talk to your doctor about your condition, so we know how long you need to stay here." He reached for me and kissed my forehead. He then whispered, "I love you. You know that right?"

"You don't say it often, but I do. I love you too, Appa."  I replied, tears starting to form at the corner of my eyes again.

He smiled at me, turned around and asked Yoongi-oppa, "Could you come with me to the doctor? I might not understand him. It's better if you're there too."

Yoongi-oppa nodded and followed him, and as they were heading out the door, Dad placed an arm over his shoulder and said, "Thank you again for acting as the Dad whenever I'm away. You're still young and yet so responsible. You never ask for allowance and you always give your mom money to help with the expenses. You really take after me, don't you?"

Yoongi-oppa replied before closing the door behind him, "I think I do." I might not have seen his face, but I know that he has the biggest, widest smile on his face upon hearing that. He and Dad, having the same personality, rarely show affection towards each other and so it warms my heart to see them interact like this.

Mom then reached for her purse, "I'm gonna make some calls."

"It's late, Eomma. Who are you calling?" Namjoon-oppa asked.

She replied to him with another question, "Has the police been here? They are involved, I suppose, as your sister nearly died."

Namjoon-oppa answered, "She was still unconscious when they came. They said they'll come back tomorrow to get her statement."

Mom found her phone at last, after having to dig through her purse. She started dialing, "I'm calling your Uncle Siwon."

Namjoon-oppa and I looked at each other, both puzzled.

"Uncle Siwon? Why?" I asked. He's mom's cousin. We don't really see him that often, except for our family reunions every 2 years.

"Well, he's a lawyer. A good lawyer. We need him for this." she responded as she waits for someone to pick up the phone.

What?!

Before I even ask her again, she said, "I'm suing your school. I'm suing your bullies' parents. I'm suing everyone who's responsible for this."

"Mom --" I promptly said, and she cuts me off with, "You were bullied for months at school and one of them even tried to burn you alive inside the school premises, Nica. You can't expect me to just sit here and do nothing."

I fell silent.

Namjoon-oppa fell silent.

And there it was again, the sound of that goddamn wall clock.

Tick... Tock... Tick... Tock.