"Do you want toast, Nica?" Dad asked me, lifting the bread that he's holding in his right hand that he's busily spreading with peanut butter.

I pouted, "I can't eat just yet, can I?"

He grimaced, suddenly remembering that I'm still on a strict IV fluid diet, "Oops. Sorry, baby. Wish I could share this peanut butter and jelly sandwich that I'm making right now."

I pout even more, he is not helping, "I still don't know why I can't eat anything. I'm never hungry, sure, but I miss eating!"

Dad scratched his head and turned his back on me so I couldn't see him eating, "We'll ask your doctor when he comes, don't worry."

 

I'm still at the hospital apparently; Dad is busy eating breakfast (and NOT sharing it with me) while watching the morning news and Mom can't take the day off today so obviously she had to work. My brothers are in school so I have nobody to pester (they've been really patient with me, especially Yoongi-oppa, and I've been abusing my perks as a hospital patient by constantly bugging them. It's payback time. )

The fire happened a week and a half ago, and I'm feeling way, way better so hopefully I can be discharged sooner than later. I had a couple of visitors over (even Sehun and his 2 other friends that we met at the diner, who, by the way, are actually named Baekhyun and Chanyeol, dropped by and brought some flowers. Yoongi-oppa had his arms crossed the whole time they were here, pouting, trying so hard not to say anything) which I think helped a lot with my recovery.

Speaking of recovery, I think my organs had figured out their functions again. My head doesn't hurt that much anymore, I don't have to squint my eyes to see, and most importantly, I can breathe now without any help from an oxygen tank. It seemed that my lungs have cleared up from the smoke that I had inhaled and have figured out how work on their own.

I also gained 2nd degree burns on my legs and arms. Most of them developed blisters, and my brothers have been taking turns in debriding and putting topical cream on them every day to make sure they heal properly and completely. (Again, perks. They've never been this caring towards me. Wow.) The doctor said that if Jungkook hadn't come and rescued me, even a minute later, I may have lost a limb. 

 

He came just in time.

 

"Nica, please. Wake up. Please. God, I didn't even get to say I love her. Nica, please. Breathe. For me."

 

"...God, I didn't even get to say I love her."

 

"...I love her."

 

These were the last words I heard before I completely lost my consciousness. I wasn't sure that time whose voice was it, but it had to be Jungkook 'cause he was the one who rushed through the burning room to come save me right? 

 

UGH, WHATEVER.

I may have been hallucinating. I have inhaled tons of smoke that time. I may have been delusional. It's because of that freaking smoke.

 Yes, that was just the smoke and the emotional trauma taking over me.

 

Anyway, a few  (actually, a lot) people came to check up on me as well --- some of my teachers, my old classmates, a social worker, a psychiatrist, the police, & Mr. Do, our school principal.

I'm not really close to any of my teachers and I think they just visited me as a common courtesy because in some way, they all feel guilty about what had happened to me. Mr. Lee, to my utmost surprise, also came with a paper bag full of scented candles (he said they might help me breathe properly). He was not in his usual grumpy state and he even told me before he left not to rush with the special exam and extra schoolwork that he had given me last week. WOW.

Even my old classmates paid a visit. I've missed them all so much, and seeing them reminded me how my life was before this whole mess happened and made me wish that I could turn back time and be with them again. My childhood best friend, Chaeyoung, cried the whole time and asked me to transfer to her high school. OF COURSE I would love to, but her school's tuition fee is outrageous. My parents would honestly have to work 6 jobs 8 days a week to pay for it. Plus, I would have to move to a different city and live in a dorm or apartment (of which my Dad EXTREMELY disagrees, so this idea was instantly thrown out the window).

2 police investigators and a social worker came together and asked me a bunch of questions, mainly about the fire. I'm pretty sure the social worker was there to guide the 2 officers and make sure that they were asking me the right questions and not pressure me to provide further details about the incident if I'm not comfortable enough to discuss about it. They were all nice to me, but the whole interrogation process drained the life out of me. I gave my statement anyway, providing as much details as I can. That's the least that I can do right? I didn't even notice that I was crying when I had to tell them about the turn of events leading to the fire. The social worker eventually decided to stop the officers in asking further questions. They all left shortly after that.

An hour later, the psychiatrist came, Ms. Bae. She asked me a couple of questions too, but I wasn't as terrified in answering them as I was when the police was here. She was warm and bubbly and was smiling most of time, even told me jokes and random stories. Talking to her felt like talking to a friend about a really terrible experience. It also helped lessen the emotional burden that I've been bottling up inside me. I was able to express myself freely, if not transparently, to her.

I remembered her asking if I keep getting repetitive flashbacks (I heard her mention that she was assessing me for Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder) and I can't find myself confessing to her that HAHAHA yes I do have flashbacks but no they are not from the fire Ms. Bae and no, I do not scream nor cry HAHAHA I just keep on thinking that one of my seatmates aka one of my heroes aka one of my best guy friends might actually confessed to me while trying to save me from a burning room HAHAHA  and i don't know how to feel about this HAHAHA maybe because he's been really distant to me for months but not really because I know that he's always watching over me and whenever I'm in trouble he's there to help me? HAHAHAHA or maybe I'm just confused because all this time my eyes are set on Jin-oppa but then he came into the picture and messed it all up HAHAHAHA help me Ms. Bae HAHAHAHA I don't know what to do HAHAHAHA 

 

Of course, I wouldn't say that because 1.) my mom AND dad were watching me; 2.) She's a pyschiatrist, not a teenage relationship expert; 3.) I'm not even sure if I heard it right!

 

Again, what if I was just being delusional that time? My brain may have played tricks on me that I ended up hearing things.

 

Moving along, I also mentioned to Ms. Bae that I'm now scared of closed spaces and being left alone. This is quite hard to deal with, especially when I have to go to the bathroom (One night, I had to leave the bathroom door open when I was in there and I only had Namjoon-oppa with me and so I made him sing the whole time to assure me that he's physically there 'cause he had to hide behind a wall to give me privacy. So he was singing while I was in the bathroom. It was quite funny.). Having the door closed doesn't bother me as long as someone is in the room with me.

Ms. Bae told me that it's totally normal to feel however I'm feeling, given what I've been through. She didn't make me feel like something's wrong me, and I guess that's the nature of her job -- helping people without making them feel like they actually need help. She also said that I need to come meet her for a few sessions after I'm discharged from the hospital so she could see how I'm doing, and maybe she could help me be okay again. Feel okay again. Think okay thoughts again. Be okay with closed spaces and being alone again.

 

Our principal came by yesterday with flowers and a basket full of fruits. He wasn't alone though; he came with a man in a suit and tie, which eventually I figured is the school lawyer. Mr. Do asked me how I was, with the sweetest smile on his face, and told me to get well real soon. He apologized to me over and over until I had to stop him because I'm so close to crying, and I feel like I'm not entitled to cry anymore because that's all I've been doing for months now.

I don't give him credit for whatever happened to me. Yes, I know he's the Principal so he gets the blame when all goes downhill, but it doesn't mean that he should be responsible for Jennie's doing. The grownups might say that he's at fault in some way, but I beg to disagree. This is why I blatantly told my mom NOT to continue with the lawsuit. It's not gonna help anyone -- not the school and certainly not me.

After our conversation, Uncle Siwon arrived, also wearing a suit and tie (Do lawyers have to wear suit and tie at all times? Can't they wear jeans and a T-shirt for once?). He handed me a box of my favorite manju, asked how I am doing, kissed me on the forehead, and told the other adults to "settle this once and for all". This, I assume, is my school situation.

They were gone for a few hours, until finally Mr. Do cheerfully came to my room to say goodbye to me before he went home. He didn't say anything to me about what he had discussed with my parents; he just made a joke about getting well soon or else "my lawyer boyfriend might miss me" and then he took off. This had me relieved, as I took it as a sign that my parents have decided not to file a lawsuit against the school. After that, Uncle Siwon talked to my parents for another hour until he had to leave as well.

As soon as he was gone, Mom and Dad sat down and talked to me. In my 16 years of living in this planet, that was the first time that they had to sit down and talked to me seriously. Usually, Yoongi-oppa gets this kind of treatment.

"We've decided NOT to file the lawsuit." Mom said.

My face lit up, "Thank you, Mom! Oh my Goodness --"

I was so ready to stand up and dance even if I'm practically tied up to my bed, but Dad had to cut short my celebration, "Wait, hear us out first. We will not sue your school for negligence, but you would need to transfer to another school next term. We are still not sure if you'd still continue going to school until this term ends; I guess depending on your recovery. Mr. Do said that your teachers will work some things to make sure that you would still finish all your requirements and not end up repeating your level next year. The school will also cover your medical expenses, including your therapy if you need it."

"Transfer? Appa, we barely make ends meet with our tuition fees and other expenses. Our school has the cheapest tuition fee in this place, where would you transfer me?!" I asked. This is insanity.

Mom cleared , "Well, I was supposed to tell you guys about this, but it slipped my mind since we got all distracted about your school situation..."

Whatever she's about to say, whatever it is, it's not good news. I can feel it. "...I got promoted at work. They are sending me to London, and you're coming with me."

 

 

Not to be an ungrateful child or anything, but I wasn't really happy with Mom's news.

Not one bit.

Not at all.

 

---

 

"Nica, I need to go to the bathroom. Are you gonna be okay?" Appa asked.

I got nervous, but I nodded and told him, "You're gonna be quick right?"

"Yes, baby. I'm right here. Shout at me if you need anything." he replied as he quickly went to the washroom.

Just then my phone beeped. This is good, something to distract me from the fact that I am, technically, all by myself.

 

 

 

 

I still have an IV on, so it was really a struggle to type with only one hand. I keep on making typos. UGH.

 

 

 

I can totally imagine Jungkook saying that.

I miss them. Especially now that I might not get the chance to be with them ever again.

 

 

 

 

 

Jimin's asking me to be THEIR date to the Spring Dance. God. I'm not even sure if I can go to school by next week.

 

 

 

I can't help but laugh. What a cheeky boy.

Ugh, I feel guilty. He is so excited about this dance. How am I gonna tell him? How am I gonna tell all of them?

 

 

 

 

 

 

They are making plans for me. I'm flattered, but my heart aches at the same time.

I need to tell them sooner than later. It's just gonna get worse if I keep on delaying this.

I let out a heavy sigh and started typing painfully slow. Jimin has 2 working hands so he kept on sending messages while I can't even barely type one word without making a mistake.

 

 

 

 

Wrong timing. 

 

 

I have to admit, I'm kinda relieved that I didn't have the chance to tell them about my parents' decision. I am not ready. Besides, I'm still hopeful that I can make Mom and Dad change their minds.

 

You're gonna be fine, Nica. Everything will work out.

 

 

Half an hour passed, and a nurse entered and took out my IV catheter. At last, I can use 2 hands now! AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, I can eat real food again!

She said that the doctor will come and discuss my condition around noon. He'll also do a general check-up on me and decide if could be discharged or not.

 

 

 

 

 

I thought Yoongi-oppa was on my side. This is so frustrating.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

WHAT THE HECK IS H--

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I don't know how to respond. He is right, and I hate it when he's right.

Also, this is the first time that my eldest brother, my cold-hearted and lifeless as a rock eldest brother (no, not really), told me that he loves me.

I might have to thank Jennie for this.

 

 

 

 

 

I was about to reply to Yoongi-oppa when my phone beeped again.

 

 

 

OH MY GOODNESS, JIN-OPPA ACTUALLY TEXTED ME.

How do I respond to this?!

 

Suddenly, I heard my Dad's voice. I didn't even notice him leave the room, "Hey, how's your arm? Why are you smiling from ear to ear?!"

I turned my head up and looked at him, closing my lips to hide my wide smile, "No, nothing. Yoongi-oppa's just texting me."

"Hmmm." Dad stared at me, unbelievingly, "Your smile's too sweet and too wide. Are you sure it's your brother?"

I gave him the look, "Dad..."

He turned his hands up in surrender, "Fine. I won't snoop then. I think you can eat now since they'd removed your IV."

I looked at my phone again, read Jin-oppa's message for the 20th time, and faced my Dad, "Appa, I know you've made your decision about London, but if the doctor said that I can be discharged, will you let me go to school again? Just to finish this term?"

He stared at me for a good 5 seconds, blinked, and replied, "Well, it depends. You still have these burns --"

I cut him off, "The nurses taught us how to clean them and most of them are dry anyway."

Dad didn't answer. He just stared at me.

I spoke again, "I-I'm just wondering because... because Mr. Lee gave me work to do and I missed so many school days now, it might be hard to catch up. I have about 5 weeks left till the school year's over."

It took him a while to answer, but then he said, "Let's see what the doctor says, and go from there. Don't worry about school 'till you're fully recovered."

I just nodded in response. I then looked at my phone again and stared at Jin-oppa's messages.

 

I really want to stay in this school. Yes, it was a ty place. Yes, I was bullied every day. Yes, the teachers may have turned a blind eye about this. Yes, I almost died while I was in its premises.

But it's not all bad.

The boys made everything worth... bearable to say the least. I can't just walk away now, now that I still have a few weeks to spend with them. Yoongi-oppa may be right that transfering is what's best for me, but I figured that if this is really the case, I should make my remaining school days last then.

"Last question, if the doctor clears me today after his check-up. Will you even just consider letting me finish the term?" I asked my dad again, sending off my charms to him.

He sighed in defeat, "Yes. Your Mom and I need to talk first, but we will consider it."

I smiled and finally started typing my response.

 

 

 

 

5 weeks. I have 5 weeks left to spend with my boys.

 

 

 

---

A/N: So... this is some kind of a text AU huh? 2-3 chapters left and I'm done. Thank youuuuuuuuuuuuuu ♥♥