Chapter 12

Should hate you, but I can’t

Realizing that someone appreciates you and actually likes you makes your heart beat fast, doesn’t it? Jennie’s words made me feel special, it removed my doubt, and made me feel as if I was in cloud nine. 

“You seem happy?” Jisoo’s voice interrupted my thoughts. 

“Huh?” I must’ve zoned out that I didn’t notice that Jisoo was in front of me.

She leaned on the headboard. We decided to sleep together since Jisoo didn’t want to sleep alone at the guest room. “You look like a fool smiling by yourself.”

“Was I? I didn’t notice.” 

A snicker came out of and then she asked, “So what’s the cause of your beautiful smile?”

Should I actually tell her? I bet she would find it weird, but then, I knew her secrets so I’m quite sure that she won’t tell anyone. Maybe I can trust her. “I just remembered…” I then told her about what had happened. I also had to explain the whole thing to her, starting from when I first met Jennie. 

My story was probably too long that after I finished telling everything to Jisoo, she was already staring at nothing in particular. “So basically, Jennie and Rosé confessed to you already?” Jisoo said slowly.

Wait. “Already? Does that mean you knew that there were two people who like me?” 

She finally looked at me, “Not only two.”

What does she mean by ‘not only two’? As far as I know, only Chaeng and Jennie had somewhat ‘confessed’ to me.

But before I can even ask what she meant, Jisoo was already lying on the bed, her back facing me. That’s mean. She didn’t even say good night.

I lied down as well, making myself comfortable. It feels weird having someone on my bed. 

I felt Jisoo shifting her position. Even without any light, I knew that she was facing the ceiling. I just knew. “What time were you born?” I already learned not to question where Jisoo gets her most random questions. It’s natural.

“Huh?”

“I was born exactly at 2:37 am.” She said in an almost whisper.

“How do you know that?”

“My dad told me. So you don’t know what time you were born?”

Well now that I’ve think about it, what if I was born during nighttime but then I celebrate my birthday during the day, it means that I’m celebrating my birthday when I’m not even alive at that time! “I didn’t know that I’m supposed to know that.”

“Tch. Loser.” Jisoo chuckled, making me smile. I don’t think it’s such a bad thing to be called a loser.

I almost drifted to dream land but then the loud ring woke me up. Jisoo picked up her phone and talked for a while. From what I’ve heard, it was her dad.

“You’re going home tomorrow?” I clarified once she hang up. Obviously, I overheard their conversation.

“My dad is already home so, yeah.”

“Are you sure?” I’m still not comfortable with the fact that she’ll stay under the same roof as her step mom who had been physically abusing her. I don’t think I can sleep in peace thinking about what can happen in that house.

“Mm… Don’t worry, she’s ing tamed when my dad’s home.” Jisoo laughed lightly, but it didn’t make me worry less. 

I sighed, not really having a say on this. Plus, it’s not like she can live here forever, but still…“Well, don’t hesitate to call me anytime if something happens okay?” 

“Can I still call you even if there’s nothing happening?”

“Of course. Call me anytime.” I’ll answer in a blink of an eye.

————————————————————————————

Early Monday morning and I got reminded of the fact that I wasted the second chance given to me by Carol, the president of the art club. Actually, I don’t exactly regret it. Sure it’s a waste that I can’t join the club anymore, but if it means helping Jisoo, I’d do it again. 

I quickly made my way to where Carol was standing. She was taking out her books from her locker. 

“Hey. I just want to apologise for not showing up last Thursday. But don’t worry, I’m aware of the consequences, so…yeah.” I leaned in by the locker.

Carol smiled at me, closing her locker. “It’s fine. Such a shame though, I really liked the painting you made. However rules are rules, there’s no exception.”

“I understand.” I just noticed how blue her eyes are. They’re really pretty.

“But you can still join us anytime. The art club is always open for you, just that you’re not an official member.” She chuckled. We walked to… I don’t really know where we’re going but I’m just following her.

“Really? That’s so nice of you. I’ll gladly take that offer.” It’s not that big of a deal whether I’m an official member or not. It’s actually much better since I have no obligations to fulfil but I can still do what I like.

“See you around?” 

“Yeah. See you.” I smiled back at her and turned to where my first class is. She’s really nice.

It was second period when I saw Jennie. We had the same class together and she was seated next to me. I tried hard to act normal and pretend that I didn’t hear anything of what she said last Friday, and I think I’m successful with it.

“Do you have time later after practice?” She whispered while being cautious as to not be caught by the teacher.

“I guess so, why?” Again, mom wouldn’t be able to pick me up since she has a forum with the employees on her laundry shop business. 

“I was wondering if you could tutor me in physics… We have this test on Thursday and I don’t understand a single thing in that subject.” Jennie grimaced and shook her head. 

“Sure.” It wouldn’t hurt to spend more time with her, right?

————————————————————————————

Chaeng was acting a bit weird when lunch came. She was biting her nails and she haven’t even touched her food. She was tapping her phone constantly and sighing from time to time. It made me quite worried since she’s usually composed and ready.

I couldn’t just watch her anymore so I held her hand to stop her from biting her nails. “What’s wrong?” Chaeyoung looked at me, worry and slight panic written all over her face.

“There’s an event in the orphanage after school proposed by the student council. Wendy and I were supposed to host it but I messaged her and she said she’s sick!” She placed down her phone and massaged her forehead. The student council president do has a lot of problems. That’s why I don’t really like responsibilities.

“Why don’t you ask someone to replace Wendy?” I suggested, but I knew it wasn’t a good idea when Chaeyoung stared at me. 

“Oh No. Not me. I don’t like talking in front!” I quickly said no before she can even ask me. A pout was forming on and, “Gawd! don’t look at me like that!” I looked away and try my best not to give in. 

Chaeyoung held my hands and gave me that pout again. “Please? Just this once. I’ll do or buy anything you want, just help me on this one. Pleaseee?” 

Ugh damn it. “Okay. Fine.” I hate talking in front of a huge crowd. I hate socialising most of the time, I like to stay inside my comfort zone. Why did I just agree to do something I hate?

And so Chaeyoung used her ‘Student council president’ card on Mia to allow me to skip practice after school. Mia couldn’t do anything so she agreed grudgingly, she’s definitely not happy about it.

We arrived at the orphanage, along with the other student council members and the assistant principal. It almost looked like a party, especially with the banners and the table full of food. There was a microphone at the front of the stage and I swear to all the speakers out there, I want to go home!

Just when I’m starting to think of running away, I felt a cold hand intertwine with mine. I looked beside me and saw Chaeyoung smiling reassuringly, as if she knew what I was thinking.

“If you really don’t want to talk in front, it’s fine. But can you please stay here, cause I’ll need some strength. I’m so nervous to host alone!” I feel bad not helping her but… she said it was okay so…

I tightened my hold on her hand and smiled, hoping that it will somehow lessen her nervousness. Honestly, she shouldn’t really be nervous. She’s good at everything she does.

Chaeyoung hosted the event, which lasted for only an hour and a half before it was time to eat snacks.

“Marshmallows for your thoughts?” Chaeng sat beside me under the tree, handing me a cup of marshmallows. 

“Thanks.” I took the cup and ate some. I wasn’t really hungry so marshmallow is fine. 

Chaeyoung was going to say something but the assistant principal called her so she stood up and excused herself. 

I watched as kids run around the place, chasing each other. I’m not really fond of kids. I mean, they can be cute at times but usually they’re just annoying and too honest. They don’t know how to filter words. But what do I expect from three year old kids?

As I was eating, a kid was walking in front of me and dropped her chocolate, then picked it up and was about to eat it so I had to stop her.

“Oh my god. You can’t eat that! It’s dirty.” I snatched away the chocolate before it can even go into , but that was definitely a wrong move.

She’s about to cry. She’s about to cry!

1.2.3. “. The kid is crying!”

What should I do?! 

I gave back her chocolate but the kid won’t stop crying. This is why I don’t like kids! They’re too sensitive and simple minded and —- simple minded… Marshmallows!

I quickly handed her the cup of marshmallows and thank goodness it worked! 

Whew.

A soft giggle, which belonged to Chaeyoung, went through my left ear. “You’re so cute. Can I keep you?”

I shook my head, looking at the kid, who’s now sharing her food with a boy. “The kid will probably cry if you keep her.”

“Silly. I’m talking about you.” Chaeyoung ran her fingers through her soft brown hair.

“Me? You’re going to have to feed me if you do.” 

“Is that all?”

I pretended to think and went with whatever she’s playing. “You’d have to keep up with my constant rants.”

Chaeyoung chuckled and crossed her arms. “I’m prepared.”

I didn’t know what to say next, thankfully, a kid went to us, to chaeyoung actually, and asked if she would play with them. Chaeyoung looked at me, asking me to join them, but I shook my head. Again, I’m not really fond of kids. 

I sat by the tree and watched as Chaeng ran with the kids. It’s adorable how she plays with them and genuinely looks like she’s enjoying her time here. She brings smile everywhere she goes. Chaeyoung is indeed lovable.

I don’t really like kids, but somehow, Chaeyoung made them look likeable. Maybe they’re not so annoying after all.

——————————————————————————————

Awkward. Really awkward. 

Chaeyoung and Wendy had something to attend to so I was left alone for lunch, however, thankfully or not, Jennie offered to eat lunch with me. And when she meant eat, I didn’t know that she really meant ‘just eat’. 

We ere eating in silence and I can’t think of any thing to say. Not a single topic is popping out o