We walked pretty much in silence to the coffee shop, it wasn’t a comfortable silence like it would have been if I was with Whee In or Hyejin (not that they’re ever quiet anyway), but it was heavy and awkward. We walked shoulder to shoulder and I couldn’t help but to steal glances at her face every now and again, she was definitely thinking through what she wanted to say. Don’t get me wrong I was turning things over in my head too, I’m just very good at self-distraction. She caught me staring once and asked me what I was looking at, my response came quick and effortless “I was just admiring my beautiful companion”, it earned me a friendly slap on the arm but didn’t ease the tension.

Upon arrival, I told her I would order and pay if she wanted to sit down. She shrugged her shoulders and waited with me in the line. “So, what is it you need to talk about? I know what I said back there was crazy, just forget about it. Is there something else on your mind?” We got to the front and ordered coffees and that was when she decided to finally break her silence

“Why, Byul?” I was absolutely perplexed by the question and it must have shown “Why would you be so nice to me? We barely know each other. For all you know I could be a complete psychopath to live with, or could throw raving parties every week, or could be the messiest person in the whole world, and yet you still offer to put yourself out to help me. I want to know why” she looked serious, and confused

“I guess…. well I guess that I figured… I figured that you need a friend after everything you’ve been through and… and I want to be that friend… I feel like fate threw us together yesterday and I don’t want to play with fate, but I feel like this is what you need. It’s not like I mind offering to share, I don’t like being alone- I grew up surrounded by my siblings and parents so to be alone like this is a real change. And it would help you out a lot, so I figured what’s the worst that could happen? If you’re a nightmare to live with, not that I believe you could be, I’m sure we could talk through the issues like adults. I think after everything you’ve been through, you just need someone to show you that not everything in the world is going to turn on you, that there are some things in this world that will give you a glimmer of hope even when you feel surrounded by darkness. So, I know it sounds crazy, but what do you think?”

She thought about what I said for a couple of seconds as we sat down at a table. “I think you’re really sweet, Moon Byuli. I think you like to see the best in everyone and everything, I feel like you’re going to go far in life with your positive thinking and your optimism. I hope whatever happens to you, between us, we’re going to end up friends. But I don’t think our friendship is at the point where we can just jump into this without thinking it through…” She looked very conflicted with herself as she articulated her thoughts “I think I need a little time to think this through, if you don’t mind. It’s not that I don’t want to, it’s more I don’t know if we’re ready to do this.” She put a finger to my lips as I was about to raise protest “Please don’t look at me like that. I know you’re only looking out for me, but as I said, I need some time” I sighed. I don’t know how to describe the feeling that was coursing through me just then- it’s sharp, and bitter, and it hurts. If this is what rejection feels like God I’m so sorry for all those confessions I’ve had to turn down. She basically said she doesn’t want to hurt the groundings of our friendship, but it feels like she’s putting up obstacles. Why can’t she see that I’m only trying to help her? I smiled and nodded at what she said.

“Yeah, I understand. Please understand that my door is always open and my offer still stands, should you ever need a friend?” She smiled and took my hands in her own, around my coffee cup.

“Thank you. Do you wanna come back to my place for a little while? We could watch a movie, or do some homework or just hang out it’s your call. I mean, if you’ve got plans or anything it doesn’t matter we could always do it another time. But I just thought it would be nice you know, to spend some time together, to get to know each other properly” My heart began to pound in my chest as she got all flustered and shy- she looked absolutely adorable with her cheeks turning a very dark shade of pink and her head looking down at our hands. The feeling of rejection left me and was replaced with one of contentment. I cupped her hands and stare into her dark brown eyes.

“I would like that very much, Yongsun” I said with the biggest smile I could muster. So we finished our coffees and walked back to her place.

When we got there, it wasn’t what I was expecting. It was very small, cosy if you want, there was quite a lot of stuff there, but nothing aside from the bare necessities, and it all looked very sterile and neutral. Definitely not what I was expecting. She said I could leave my stuff by the front door as she offered to get drinks and snacks for us. I left my bag and shoes next to the coat rack as I wandered down the small corridor leading to the main living space. I found her making her way through with juice and cookies so offered to take the tray from her. After I set them down in the small coffee table I took a seat at the end of the sofa, on which she was already seated. “So, Byuli, what do you wanna do? There aren’t really many options but we can do whatever you want” I pondered the offer for a minute and then decided I wanted to get to know her better.

“What sort of stuff are you interested in, Yongsun?” it sounded more like I was asking her what she wanted to do so she started to protest and insist it was my decision “No, I mean as in what do you like to do when you aren’t at school, what do you want to do when you leave school? In fact, what subjects are you even taking? I never thought to ask. I want to get to know you as a person: your hopes, your dreams, your desires, your aspirations, your likes and dislikes, don’t hold back” she giggled a little bit at my request.

“Well for a start I do chemistry, psychology, art, and music at school and when I leave I want to go into art therapy or something like that where I can use the things that I’m interested in to help other people. When I’m not at school I like to paint and play the piano, I enjoy going for long walks in the park and curling up afterwards with a blanket and a good movie (or a book if I can’t find anything to watch). What about you? Let me in to that complicated head of yours”

“Well, umm…” I scratched the back of my neck “I do chemistry, maths, biology, and history, when I leave school I want to go into either archaeology or research science because deep down I’m a real nerd and that kind of thing really interests me. When not at school I like to listen to music, go out for bike rides and read books. Oh and I love to dance. This feels very formal, almost like speed dating. Why don’t we mix it up a bit? Truth or dare?” She giggled at my childishness

“Let’s start simple. Truth”

“Okay. Umm…. When was your first kiss? I mean real kiss” she slapped me on the arm gently

“I said simple! My first kiss was actually when I was about 12, so yeah, a bit of a while ago. Your turn, truth or dare?” I prompted her for details to which she said I’d have to wait

“Fine, dare.”

“I dare you to call your last crush and tell them you liked them” I gasped, and then frowned

“That’s not fair! That’s really mean. I can’t just do that. And what if I don’t have their number?” I began to throw an all manner of protests at her.

“Well, sweetie, life isn’t fair. If you don’t have their number I’m sure someone will, so come on, get on with it.” I began to stutter and worry. Of course I have Krystal’s number, we used to be so close. But how will Yongsun react when she finds out that my last crush was a girl? Will she be mad? Disappointed? Disgusted? A million thoughts raced through my mind and there was no way I could stop them.

“I don’t like that dare. Is there a forfeit?” she laughed at me but could see the reluctance in my eyes.

“Okay, okay. Fine you don’t have to call them. Instead, you have to drink something from my kitchen, something of my choice, it could be anything” I nodded, agreeing to the terms of the forfeit. We made our way into the kitchen and she began opening her cupboards looking for something. She grabbed a small shot glass, into which she poured, a small bit of soju (I have no idea why a seventeen year old Yongsun has a bottle of soju in her cupboards, but whatever), mixed with a few drops of hot sauce, some lemonade and apple juice- it looked and smelt vile. She presented the glass to me and smiled an evil grin at me “You can still back out if you want to. It’s this or a phone call” I took the glass and downed it in one go. My throat felt like it was burning and I thought I was going to be sick, but I held my nerve. I placed the glass down on the countertop and looked at her

“Happy now?” she laughed. “Truth or dare?”

“I don’t want any kind of revenge dare for that, so truth again”

“Details of your first kiss, unnie?”

“Ummm… okay. Fine.” She looked down at the floor and began to play with her hands while she found the words to comply with my request “As I said I was 12, so it didn’t mean anything. My friend was a year older than me and was beginning to get curious about her uality, so we kissed” I was astounded “Well, it was simple really: she was confused, I told her I didn’t care if she likes girls, she grabbed me by the collar and kissed me, then asked me if I still didn’t mind. It took me a little while to figure out what she truly meant by that, but yeah… kissing a girl is really different to kissing a guy… Anyway. Close your mouth before something crawls in it and makes a nest there! Truth or dare?” I finally got myself together, a million thoughts racing around my mind.

“Umm… truth?” I began to stutter.

“What about your first kiss? Did you ever get to kiss that guy you chickened out of calling, or was there someone before that? I want all the details” she swung her legs up onto the sofa and gave me her full attention. I scratched the back of my neck awkwardly to stop myself playing with my hands. I could feel her eyes staring at me as I stared at a slight mark on the carpet. I dropped my hands into my lap as I looked up to her face,

“I haven’t had my first kiss yet. There’s only been one person so far that I’ve wanted to kiss and that was never going to happen, so yeah. One nil to you, unnie” she looked shocked by my confession.

“Really? You’ve never kissed anyone yet in your seventeen years of life? Not even as a joke?” I shook my head.

“Well, this guy you wanted to kiss… what was he like?” I sighed deeply as I thought of the easiest way of telling her the truth. In the few seconds of thought I gave it, I could think of no better way than being totally straightforward, knowing that she wasn’t completely against same- couples.

“She was… well… she was just amazing…” I sighed “something about you kinda reminds me of her” I said blushing.

Author's note: Hey again! Happy Easter everyone! I know this one's early but once I finsihed it I really wanted to just put it up before I tweak it again and mess it up completely. I feel like I could've done this as two short chapters rather than one longer one, but I didn't want to end the first part really awkwardly. Please excuse any grammar or spelling mistakes, my proof-reading session was in the middle of the night.

As always, thanks for reading and subscribing it means a lot. Feel free to drop a comment or pm me with any questions thoughts or opinions. Thanks again lovelies, take care of yourselves. Until next time :)