It was the night of the disco. I wasn’t excited for this, not even a little. I had only agreed to go because I thought I needed a break from studying, and to be less socially awkward than usual. Don’t get me wrong, I like to talk to people and being social but my social anxiety is so bad that I’m just awkward in social situations- this is why I don’t really have many friends apart from Whee In, Hyejin and Yongsun. I tried to convince myself that this was a good idea while I was getting myself ready to leave, but it just didn’t feel right. More than anything I just want Yongsun to sit beside me right now and tell me that it was going to be okay before making a joke about how bad my eyeliner is going. But I guess after what happened earlier it won’t be like that anymore- I get why she was avoiding me, but I really wish she wasn’t.

After checking my appearance in the mirror for the millionth time I grabbed my bag, phone, and my keys and made a move to leave. I was hoping I wasn’t going to feel too out of place in a button down blouse and skirt, and my nerves weren’t helping me to carry my usual air of confidence. We’d agreed to meet at Whee In’s before heading over to the club which eased my mind a little because at least we would all arrive together. When I arrived, the other three were sat around the table with a can of beer each claiming they were just passing time while waiting for me. The maknaes were talking excitedly, but Yongsun unnie didn’t even spare me a second glance which really deflated my ego. We sat around for a bit while the others finished their drinks and tidied up. I couldn’t help but notice how nice they all looked, in dresses that hugged them in all the right places- I’m not a ert or anything, but they all looked HOT.

At about half seven we eventually left, we piled into a cab and headed for the club. Normally we aren’t able to buy alcohol because of our age, but someone at the door gave everyone a ticket entitling us to one alcoholic drink each. I wasn’t really interested in the idea of drinking tonight so I told the other three that one of them could use mine later. We went over to the bar and I bought the first round, handing over three tickets and taking all four drinks to the others. After we’d finished the drinks Whee In and Hyejin wanted to dance, so the others went off to the dance floor while I went to the bathroom to get a breath of air- the room was starting to get really hot and I didn’t feel like joining the mob of hot sweaty bodies just yet. After a couple of minutes out of the room, there were people outside the bathrooms laughing, and stinking of alcohol as well as something else… something gross, I only hoped it wasn’t drugs. I made my way back into the room and it was even more crowded than I remembered. I was standing near the edges looking into the crowd for my friends when I heard someone say something beside my ear- their breath even tickled me- “Looking good, Byul. Do you want to dance with me?” I turned around and saw Heeyeon smiling awkwardly at me. I shrugged my shoulders and then nodded. She grabbed my hand and pulled me onto the dance floor and she began to dance- I was very awkward to begin with but when she placed my hands over her shoulders then hers on my waist and pulled me closer to her, something inside me ignited and we began to dance very sensually. I leant into her ear and half yelled to be heard over the music

“What was a pretty girl like you doing hanging out around the outside of the crowd anyway? Especially a pretty girl who can claim all eyes in the room with dance moves like yours.” I smirked and winked at her when I leant back. She giggled a little, suddenly becoming very shy.

“Wow. Are you always this greasy?”

“Only around pretty girls.” I gave her a signature smile before continuing “You didn’t answer my question.” She looked very shy now but still spoke loudly enough to be heard.

“I was waiting for the right time, and then when I saw you searching the crowd I figured you couldn’t find whoever you were looking for so decided to invite you to dance, you paid for the ticket so should at least enjoy the night.” She smiled shyly and a blush was evident on her cheeks, even in the dim lighting. We danced through a couple of songs and I decided to offer her a drink.

“Hey, is it starting to get hot in here? Or is it because I’m standing beside such a cutie?” I winked at her and she blushed. “Do you want a drink? It’s on me if you do.” She nodded politely and we walked hand in hand over to the bar where we found Hyejin in the crowd. “Hyejin! Hey, Hyejin!” I was waving frantically at her to get her attention. When she finally looked up and I caught her eye she walked over to us and I said to her “This round’s on me”

“Byul-ah! Where have you been? Heeyeon, unnie, are you okay?” she noticed how Heeyeon was clinging onto me and my arm was around her waist so we didn’t get separated in the crowd.

“Umm.. yeah, I’m okay. Byul, here, offered me a drink and then she saw you and came over to speak to you.” Hyejin gave me a sideways glance as if to ask me if I knew what I was getting myself into.

“Oh, I see.” She then proceeded to tell me what to order for her and the other two and told us to join them at the small table over in the corner. I agreed without even pausing for thought and went to order the drinks. When I asked the barman for a cocktail- probably for Whee In- he told me I’d already bought alcoholic drinks tonight so he wouldn’t serve me, but I insisted that it was for a friend and that I even had a ticket for it, so he conceded.

Between Hyejin, Heeyeon and I we managed to carry all of the drinks from the bar to the table without any spillages. We placed the drinks with their corresponding owner and took our seats with the other two girls. Whee In and Yongsun looked just as surprised as Hyejin had to see Heeyeon with us, but obviously decided not to question it. Whee In swapped seats with Yongsun so that she could sit beside me and leant into my ear and whispered “I told you she likes you, unnie” and giggled a little. She was already tipsy, I wasn’t sure whether the cocktail in front of her was such a good idea now but I made no comment.

“I told you at the time, she’s just friendly” I said back. She giggled again- that cocktail was starting to look like a really bad idea.

“Whatever. I’m glad you’re here, I was starting to think you’d ditched us when you didn’t come back” she said quietly to me after a minute or so. She looked into my eyes and the moment, like earlier today, felt somewhat private even though we were we were only holding hands and she was leant into me. I wasn’t sure what to say, but let instinct take control

“You know I’d never leave you behind. You’re my little puppy and I love you too much to leave you here when I know how worried you were about this”

“I know unnie, and I love you too unnie” we separated and leant back into the plush seats to see that the other three had fallen into a conversation- it was nice to see them getting on with Heeyeon so well. After about five minutes or so, a very tipsy Whee In spoke up “Guuuuyyyyyssss, can we go dancing again. I’m SOOO bored” we all glanced down at our glasses to see that hers was empty but that we’d barely touched ours.

“Give us a few minutes to finish our drinks, puppy, and then we can dance until dawn, okay?” Hyejin said, visibly gushing over the drunk girl. She had a certain look in her eyes, I’m not sure what it was but whatever it was, there is a lot of positive emotion in it- I guess that’s what happens when you’ve been friends for so long.

After we finished our drinks we decided to head back to the dance floor for another little while. I told the others I’d catch them up after I tidied up the table and began lifting glasses to take them back to the bar. I only had my back turned about 5 minutes because I stopped to talk to Krystal sunbaenim at the bar while I was there- we were just catching up after a few months of not having seen each other properly- when she said to me “Isn’t that Jungkook hitting on your friend Whee In?” I spun round and let my eyes scan the dance floor frantically in search for what Krystal was talking about. When I found the scene I could see Jungkook and a couple of his friends around my friends, who had now been joined by the girls from our mentor group and Heeyeon’s friends. He was talking to Whee In who seemed flustered, the others seemed uncomfortable and Hyejin was asking his friends to take him away, to no avail. If he was trying to hit on her, I wouldn’t say I was surprised; he’s one of those guys who thinks he can get anyone, but also, Whee In looked really pretty tonight in her red cocktail dress that hugged her figure in all the right ways and her little black choker that made the look effortlessly y y? WHAT?! BYULI! You’ve been friends for years, you can’t think of her as y and throw away years of friendship! Control yourself!

“You’ll have to excuse me, sunbaenim. It’s been really nice to catch up with you, we should do this more often, but I really need to go” she smiled pleasantly at me and told me she’d text me later. To say my heart was fluttering a little would be the best description for it- even though I really like Yongsun, no matter how much I might have messed up, I don’t think I would ever completely get over my first crush. I walked over to my friends trying to formulate a plan in my head, but not coming to anything. When I reached the group I was acting on autopilot. I slid my hand around Whee In’s waist and grabbed her hand with my other “Everything okay, babe?” I said, loudly enough for the boys to hear. They looked a little stunned at my statement and I saw confusion cloud Jungkook’s eyes momentarily.

“Ummm… yeah, the boys here were just leaving.” She then looked pointedly at him and continued talking “Thank you for the compliments, but I’m just not interested in what you’re offering”

“Were you seriously trying to hit on a drunk girl, Jungkook? Especially a drunk girl with a girlfriend. I thought you’d have known better” I shook my head at him and he began to back off, but I could still see hints of disbelief in his eyes. Time to put on a show, Byul-ah. I just hope that Whee In would understand. I leant in and gave her a soft kiss on her cheek, but she didn’t let it stop there. She turned her head and captured my lips with her own, it was needy, desperate and there was a lot of passion from her. The way her lips mived against mine felt very sober, but the way her hand clumsily wrapped around my neck suggested how drunk she really was. My head began to spin WHAT THE HELL! I know she’s drunk, but is she that drunk that she’d start to kiss me like this?! I didn’t kiss her back, but I didn’t have to; the boys began to back away, completely horrified by the show. I broke the kiss and looked down into her eyes, yep, definitely clouded with alcohol she giggled a little and I could see the blush on her cheeks as she took her bottom lip between her teeth and looked down. Was she ashamed that she’d just made out with a girl in public? Or was it that she’s embarrassed she just kissed her best friend?

“Guys, I think it’s time we head off home.” Yongsun stated rather than suggested. I agreed and told Whee In that we needed to go now. She looked up at me with her big brown eyes and whined that she didn’t want to go yet, that she was having so much fun. Hyejin snapped and told her under no uncertain terms that we were leaving- I’d never seen the younger girl like this with Whee In and I didn’t like it

“Hey! Don’t talk to her like that. First she’s drunk and has no idea what’s going on. Second, she just wants to have fun. Third, she didn’t do anything wrong, so don’t snap at her like she has.” I heard a chorus of ‘awww, what a protective girlfriend’ and ‘it all makes sense now’. I turned to Whee In and tried to talk as softly as possible “Wheenie, I know you’re having fun but we need to go. I’ll make it up to you another time. Okay?” I watched as what I said sank in, and she nodded at me and a broad grin crossed her face. We gathered our things and made a move. I was helping Whee In out of the club when I felt a hand grab my wrist from behind. I looked over my shoulder and saw Heeyeon holding onto me.

“Byul! I’m sorry, if I’d known that you had a girlfriend I would never have-“ I cut her off

“Heeyeon-ah, don’t worry, its okay. Text me later, let me know that you get home safely.” She looks blankly at me. She hands me her phone and I quickly punch in my number before handing it back to her and wishing her goodnight. I then go back to helping walk Whee In out and into the cab that Yongsun was able to hail out on the pavement. It was a squeeze to get all three of us into the back while Hyejin sat in the passenger seat. The driver asked us where to and we gave him directions to Hyejin’s as it was the closest, she had agreed to let Whee In stay at her apartment for the night to make sure she was okay. When the cab stopped outside of the block Whee In knew she was going to be getting out now, so she turned to Yongsun and I and wished us goodnight, she then planted a kiss on my cheek. I got out of the cab to help Whee In out and watched her stumble in Hyejin’s arms up to the door of their block. Hyejin made sure to hand me a couple of notes to cover the cost of their share of the journey. The next stop was Yongsun’s. I thought she’d fallen asleep on the way, because she sat in silence. But when I glanced over to her, her eyes were as alert as ever. Before she got out she smiled at me (like earlier today, it didn’t reach to her eyes) and wished me goodnight while handing me a couple of notes. When the driver stopped outside of my place I handed him the collection of notes and made my way inside. I flopped down on my bed after barely managing to put some pyjamas on and fell asleep without even brushing my teeth. There was so much going through my mind that my night was very restless and dreamless. I wonder what tomorrow will bring, hopefully something easier, hopefully no repercussions from my kiss with Whee In- the last thing I want is for her to hear about it from someone other than me before I can explain my motives. I layed in bed with my eyes closed and all of these thoughts and worries circulating my mind while sleep was pulling at my conscious self, so I had to give in.

Author's note: hey guys! Long time no see! I hope you've all been well.

While a very small amount of this content was pre-planned, most of this was just written on the go, so I understand that it feels very disjointed and a bit lost. (You can probably tell which bits I'd thought about prior to writing this XD ) Trust me. I hope I can salvage this and actually get back on track, but what I had planned for this chapter is very important for future events. The next few chapters should become more frequent and regular because I'm back to my regular routine, so it won't be too dragged out for you.

Thank you to all of you for reading and subscribing, without your love I don't think I would have continued this for very long. Thank you to my regular commenters, you know who you are, I appreciate you guys the most.

After a lot of me talking, I'm gonna wrap up. Take care guys! Stay safe, stay happy, keep smiling and continue to be the successful human beings I believe you can be. I'll be back soon. Until then,  Lala out ;) <3