I tossed and turned all night, I barely got a wink of sleep. I think that explains why I slept through my alarm which resulted me walking into school an hour and a half late- it was a good thing that my first lesson was cancelled then. Thank you school for sending me a text to let me know! I went to class as soon as possible- I really didn’t want to go at all, but my desire to pass was greater than my fear of Mrs Park’s wrath. I stood outside the classroom for a minute, steadying my breathing with my fist raised, ready to knock on the door when suddenly it opened in front of me. Yongsun bundled out of the classroom straight into me. I fell backwards into the wall and instinctively grabbed her waist to stop her from falling and getting hurt too. I realised the awkward position we were stood in and a blush crept up my cheeks. I looked at the ground and began to rub the back of my neck awkwardly. “Ummm…. I’m sorry, I didn’t realise you were going to walk out of the door otherwise I would’ve moved out of your way. Sorry” I smiled shyly at her, the smile I got in return didn’t reach her eyes.

“It’s okay. No harm done. You’d better get to class, you’ve missed the core notes, and she’s just got us started on a worksheet.” She said without looking at me. With that she walked away from me. I totally understand why she’s acting shy and awkward, but I’d rather it wasn’t like this. I brushed myself down quickly before knocking on the door and entering the room.

Mrs Park wasn’t mad that I was late, she just asked to see me after class again. Everyone turned to look at me when she said that; they all thought that I was going to be in trouble once they’d all left, me included. Mrs Park came over and briefly explained stereoisomerism to me and how it was different to the structural isomerism we’d looked at yesterday and then presented me with the worksheet everyone else was already working through. Yongsun returned to class and returned the bathroom pass to the teacher waiting patiently at the front, ready to assist anyone who so needed it. We sat in silence, no friendly smiles or words were exchanged between Yongsun and me, so I sat there in the tense atmosphere and tried my absolute best to concentrate on the worksheet. I held my breath as I tried to block out my thoughts about the girl sat beside me, the thoughts wondering what she was thinking, the thoughts wondering whether or not she’d ever talk to me again. After about 15 minutes of silent work, the bell sounded signalling that it was break time. Everyone else packed up their things and left quickly while I did so slowly, and then played with the corner of my desk, waiting to be yelled at. Only once everyone had left did Mrs Park finally speak “Byuli, I don’t mean to pry, but it would be unprofessional of me to not be worried about your recent behaviour. Would you care to explain it to me?” I looked her in the eye while I turned over thoughts to try and make a valid excuse

“I’m sorry, I don’t know what’s come over me recently I think I’m just stressed about how serious school is finally becoming and how unprepared I feel right now. Everything around me is changing, becoming more serious and everything I do is having more serious consequences and I guess I just don’t feel ready for it.” I began babbling and she cut me off after about 20 seconds. I put down the piece of paper I had been subconsciously playing with while talking

“Byul, you and I both know that it’s not just that. I understand that you’re stressed, you’re very hard-working and very conscientious, but there’s more to it than that. If you don’t open up and tell someone what it is, whatever it is will only get worse. If it gets worse and your behaviour starts to have a negative effect on your learning I’m afraid I’ll have to report it to my seniors and will also have to call your parents and tell them what’s been going on. I know how hard it is to be a teenager going through school and trying to balance your school life with your home life, but trust me when I say it gets better. Whatever issues you’re facing at the moment will become irrelevant after next year, when you’re off living your adult life.”
“Not if she still isn’t talking to me” I mumbled more to myself than to the teacher in front of me,

“What was that, Miss Moon?”

“I… nothing…. Just please don’t call my parents; they’re stressed enough as it is at the moment, I don’t need them worrying about me, they do that enough as it is” I looked pleadingly at the woman, hoping she didn’t really need to take this any further.

“Look, I’ll let this go off the record but I expect to see you arriving on time to class and working hard again. Starting next week. We draw a line under this, okay? Whatever it is, you can’t let it affect the hard work you’ve put in over the last couple of months. Up until now you’ve done all the right things to get the best results possible in your exams, but you can’t let it slip, not after the amount of work you’ve put in up to now.”

“Okay, thank you, miss. I promise I’ll do my best to be the best I can be and to not cause you more trouble. Thank you for understanding and for not reporting it further. I’ll be going now, but thanks again, I’ll see you next week. Have a good weekend” I said cheerily as I walked out of the classroom. On my way around the corner I heard miss chuckle quietly to herself.

I made my way over to my friends, and nervousness set in as I saw Yongsun talking happily to everyone. Something must’ve happened at the other bench because all of the other girls from our mentor group were sat with them. I swallowed the lump I felt forming in my throat as I approached. I saw a few looks in my direction before Wendy pointed in my direction with her chin. Whee In spun round in her seat and let her eyes trace my entire existence before speaking up “BYULI! You’re here! I thought you weren’t coming in today. Where were you this morning?”

“I told you she was fine, probably too busy trying to avoid all her crazy admirers. Ain’t that right Byul?” Irene said laughing from the other end of the bench.

“No. I over-slept. I didn’t sleep very well last night and I guess I slept through my alarm this morning.” I said rubbing the back of my neck awkwardly. The others erupted into laughter.

“And here you were thinking she was really sick, Whee In, when the truth is she couldn’t get her lazy out of bed” Seulgi said throwing a chip at me jokingly. Whee In looked up at me with her cute puppy eyes, and I felt bad for not even texting her to let her know I was running late. While she was still sat down I rested my forearms on her shoulders and leant down so I was level with her. Her eyes never left mine, this moment felt somehow intimate despite the fact that our only contact was my arms on her shoulders. I leant into her ear and whispered quietly in her ear so no one else would hear

“I’m sorry I forgot to text. I was in such a rush. I’ll make it up to you on Monday, I promise” I leant back from her ear and gave her a little wink. She warmly smiled at me, her dimple fully on show. A slight blush crept up her cheeks, which made her even cuter. The entire group burst into a chorus of ‘aww’ while Hyejin sat there rolling her eyes with a what-did-you-say-this-time kind of look on her face. I stayed beside Whee In for the remainder of break with my arm draped across her shoulders. When the bell went to signal the end of break, I sat down on the bench because I had a free period. Whee In had a free period now too, so I sat opposite her and pulled out some work to get on with. I could feel her eyes on me the entire time and it made me a bit uncomfortable. I looked up at her and flashed her a signature smile, she smiled back warmly. While I sprawled my left arm out on the bench as I was working, I felt Whee In close her hands around it. I looked over slightly, but not enough to let her know that I looked up. I continued writing my essay while Whee In began to draw circles on my knuckles as she eased a book out of her bag and onto the table. She sat there reading said book while still holding my hand. I felt comfortable like this. This overly-affectionate behaviour was normal for us, but something felt different today. “Wheenie…” I spoke quietly, my voice came out softly but it quivered. She must have picked up on my nervousness because she closed her book and looked at me. “What’s with the extra affection today? What’s happened?” I saw nervousness cross her eyes, but it was gone in an instant. Her hand quivered a little in mine, but then she gave my hand a gentle squeeze.

“I was worried, Byul. I was worried that you weren’t well and that you wouldn’t be coming to the disco later and I just have a bad feeling about it, and it got worse when I thought you weren’t going to be there. And now that you’re here everything feels a bit safer and my anxiety about later is a lot less” I squeezed her hand in return. The grip on my hand loosened before it was gone entirely. I looked down at my now empty hand with a kind of sorrow.

“You’ve been worried about tonight since we bought the tickets weeks ago. I promise you that nothing bad will happen as long as I’m there. You know that I would do everything in my power to look after you guys, right?” she nodded at me. “You don’t need to be anxious about it, puppy. Unnie will look after you all.” She gave me a shy laugh and let me put my hand over her own. I took a moment to stare into her eyes and forget worrying about Yongsun for just a minute, Whee In became my priority and keeping her safe later was all that mattered to me at that moment. After a minute or so had passed she spoke again

“Are you okay? You look really… I’m not sure what it is, but whatever it is, it’s got you down.”

I forced a smile at her before answering, I wasn’t going to lie and tell her there was nothing bugging me “I’m okay, I guess. Me and Yongsun had an intense conversation yesterday and let’s just say I would understand if she doesn’t want to talk to me anymore” Whee In looked slightly taken aback.

“I’m sure you two can fix whatever this is, you’ve always amended your arguments in the past so this one shouldn’t be any different. Is that why you couldn’t sleep last night?” I nodded. “You think too much about things. Like I said, it’s all gonna be okay between you, it always is”

“Thanks. I hope so”

We returned to our work and soon enough Hyejin came over to the bench and simply rolled her eyes at our hand-holding. When the bell went at the end of the hour to signify the start of the next lesson, Whee In had to leave but I stayed sat because I had yet another free period, this time Hyejin and Yongsun would be joining me, this was going to be a long hour. “So… you and Whee In…. care to tell me what’s going on?” Hyejin asked, clearly nervous at whatever thoughts were going around her head.

“Me and…. What? No! Nothing! There’s nothing going on, we’re just friends, you know what she’s like-” I tried to explain but she cut me off before I could try to explain

“Then what’s with all of the overly affectionate behaviour today? Normally you guys act cutesy but it’s never normally like this” she kept her voice level, but her stare was intense, full of emotion that I couldn’t quite read.

“She’s just really anxious about tonight. But we talked and I think everything’s fine. You know how nervous she was to buy the tickets but she did it anyway, all the anxiety has just built up and she was worried that I wasn’t going to be there which worried her even more” this seemed to satisfy her, I noticed the intensity of her stare weaken which settled me significantly.

“Okay, that makes sense. I thought you two had… actually, forget I said anything. I’m glad you were able to ease her worries. I’ve been so worried about today for her, but I’m glad that you being there will make her feel better about the situation.” She smiled a genuine smile at me and my heart lifted. She really was adorable when it came to Whee In, her usually tough exterior melted a little around the pup. It was really sweet. With that Yongsun approached, but she didn’t sit down.

“I’m not going to be joining you guys today. Umm… Seulgi said she was going to help me to improve my artwork, so we’re gonna get on with it in the art rooms. But I’ll see you guys later” she turned around and left again. Hyejin and I looked at each other and shrugged. My mind started to race: is she trying to avoid me? Is this because of yesterday? What are you gonna do? Can you really work it out like Wheenie said? I turned over so many thoughts but couldn’t reach any rational answer. I guess I’d have to wait for her to be ready to talk to me if I wanted answers.

Author's note: Hey again. I got bored while preparing for exams so wrote this short-ish collection of thoughts for you guys. I'm kinda confused about what direction to take next, but I hope I can work it out. I've eluded to many directions, but am still yet to decide which way it could go... this is still mostly written on the fly with little to no planning involved.

Saw the teaser for Da Ra Da this morning so have been hyped all day (maybe that explains why this chapter contains so much Wheebyul XD ). If you haven't seen it yet, you should definitely check it out.

Thank you, as always, to my lovely readers for reading and subscribing. Feel free to drop a comment at the bottom to ask a question or tell me your thoughts- I don't bite, promise- because I really like to know how you guys are finding this long complicated chain of thoughts I have. ANYWAY! Take care, stay safe, stay happy and healthy and most importantly keep smiling! :)  I'll be back soon! :D Lala out! x