I got back to my house at about 4pm, so I decided to give Whee In a call, see if she was still up for the little ice cream date we’d agreed the other day. The phone rang five times… six times before she answered. “Hey Byuli, unnie. What’s up? How’re things going at home?”

“Hey Wheenie. I just got back actually. I’m chilling at home by myself and was wondering if you wanted to hang out. Hyejin too if she wants, I never called her the other day because I’ve been trying to think of how to explain the situation and I still don’t know if I can, and I’d feel a lot better if you were there to help me because I’m worried that she’ll never trust me again, and this really needs to be resolved, but I can’t do it alone. Please?” I heard nervous laughter from the other end of the line before an unexpected voice began talking.

“I’d love to hear your side of things, unnie, but I’m getting my nails done this evening so tell me tomorrow at school.” I must have been on speakerphone and Hyejin must have heard everything to give me such a relaxed response- she sounded fine, casual, as if nothing needed to be explained at all. Her voice gained a slight edge to it when I heard her talking to the other girl in the room “If you’re going out Whee In, don’t forget your keys again, I’m not going to be back until late and don’t want to have to let you in before I can go to bed.”

“Sure thing. Hyejin! Umm… thanks again.” Her voice was shy and I could tell that Hyejin was giving her the I’m-so-done-with-you-right-now look for whatever reason, and then I heard a can of drink being opened and her voice became directed back at me “I’m in the middle of an essay right now for literature, you can come over if you like, but I need to get this finished before tomorrow” Whee In sounded tired. I could imagine the scene actually- Whee In sat over her desk surrounded by paperwork, phone and speaker on the bed behind her, Hyejin stood in the doorway leant on the doorframe with a can in her hand and Ggomo, Whee In’s cat, curled up at her feet. The thought made me smile. She was right, everything was somehow okay.

“I can come over later if you want? You know? After dinner time if you’re caught up. I can unpack my stuff and get started on some of my laundry that I stupidly insisted on not doing while I was at home” I could feel myself rambling but it was subconsciously an attempt to diffuse the tension on the other end of the line

“Haha! Byuli, that’s what parents are for! I’ve only spoken to your appa a couple of times and I can’t imagine him letting you leave knowing that you’d have to come back to Seoul and do your laundry” Hyejin was laughing at me and I heard Whee In clear .

“Guys, I appreciate the company you’re providing, but like I said I really need to get this done. You can take my phone into the other room if you’d like to continue the conversation?”

“Nah, it’s alright. I should be leaving anyway. I’ll see you tomorrow, unnie!” Hyejin said cheerfully as I heard a can being placed on a hard surface- I could only guess Whee In’s desk- before a door was quickly closed.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Hyejinnie. If you’re out late please be careful getting home.” I said, although I figured she’d already left. I heard Whee In sigh. “I know you’re busy, and tell me to mind my own business if you want, but is everything okay? Between you two? And in general?” I tried to pick my words tentatively, but diplomacy is a skill I’m yet to learn. I heard the other girl let out another sigh

“Not really. I’ll tell you over ice cream if you want to meet me there in half an hour. My treat” her voice was gloomy and I could feel her trying to hold back her tears, or whatever she wanted to talk about, or both. “And to be honest with you, my essay is more or less finished. I just really wanted an excuse to not have to look at Hyejin.”

“What’s happened? Is she still mad at you for Friday night? You’re worrying me” I could feel my heart racing out of worry for the other girl.

“I’ll explain when I see you. Please meet me?” I nodded though I knew she couldn’t see me

“I’m on my way” I grabbed my keys and stuffed them in my pocket with my phone as I headed out into the cold evening air to comfort my best friend.

It took me just over 10 minutes to get to her apartment block. I began running up the stairs in twos before I noticed her coming down them. She had a long jacket on and both hands stuffed in her pockets. Her head was down and the aura she gave off was one of a very miserable individual. Once I reached her I wrapped my arms around her and held her to my chest to let her know that I was here for her. She wrapped her arms around my waist and nuzzled into my shoulder. I heard her stifle a massive sniffle and that’s how I knew she was on the verge of tears. “Let’s get you back inside. I don’t want to make you feel vulnerable in public.” I prised us apart and tried to turn her around to get her back to her apartment.

“No. Please? I need to go out. I can’t be in there at the moment, not after what was said. Not without talking to you first. Come on, let’s go to the library or get ice cream or… coffee- Yongsun’s working this evening isn’t she?”

“Ummm… I dunno. She usually works on Monday’s after school, so I guess so. But… ice cream sounds like a better idea. Plus I don’t want Yongsun to get in trouble for worrying about you at work, you know what she’s like.” Whee In shrugged in response as I grabbed her hand, put both of our hands in my jacket pocket and began to walk downstairs. She dollowed me with no resistance. We walked in silence to the ice cream parlour and chose a two-person booth to sit in. “Stay here, I’ll go order it and come straight back” she nodded at me.

When I approached the counter, I noticed Heeyeon washing up. She turned around when she heard my shoes squeak on the floor. “Oh hey Byuli, I thought I saw you and Whee In come in. Look, I’m so sorry for what happened on Friday night, if I’d known you had a girlfriend I would never have been so forward with you. I’m sorry.” She bowed ninety degrees. “Whatever you guys want tonight have it half price, okay?” I opened my mouth and began to protest “I won’t take no for an answer. It’s my way of apologising to you both, and congratulating you guys on such a cute relationship” I heaved a gentle sigh and rolled my eyes

“Umm… sure, thanks.” I started rubbing the back of my neck awkwardly. I began looking through all of the flavours they had and ordered for Whee In while trying to decide what I wanted. I noticed the bright orange colour at the far end and remembered how much I’d enjoyed it last time so ordered it again, cheeks heating up when Heeyeon gave me a shy smile as she quickly set about preparing my order. She handed me the cups of ice cream on a bright red tray and gave me one of her beautiful smiles. I made my way back to our little booth and noticed how secluded it was from the rest of the place. “I got it! I couldn’t remember whether you prefer chocolate or strawberry, so I got you both” the younger girl peeled her eyes from the table to look up at me and give me a sad looking smile. “I shouldn’t push you to tell me, but whatever it is is clearly bothering you. What’s going on?” I asked in as gentle a tone as I could manage. The younger girl beside me looked down at the floor and then up at me with a weak smile.

“You need to promise me that you won’t freak out when I tell you this. I know we should have told you a long time ago, but you need to promise me that you won’t overreact first, okay?”

“Told me what? You know I’m not one for overreacting to things, so of course I won’t this time. I’m your friend, you can tell me anything. You can tell me as much or as little of anything as you want to and I’ll respect that because I trust you and because you’re the best friend I’ve ever had. What’s going on? I’m really worried about you” I placed my hands over hers to let her feel the sincerity of my words, and I watched them sink in as her smile turned from weak and watery to a genuine half-smile.

“Okay… ummm…. So…. I’m not too sure where to begin.”

“How about the beginning? That’s usually a good place to start a story.” I said light-heartedly giving her hands a gentle squeeze in the process. This earned a soft laugh from her.

“That’s the thing, there is no definitive beginning to this story. You could take it back to when Hyejin and I first became friends, or to our first year at, or to six months ago. There isn’t a clear start to this story, so I’m not sure how to tell it. I guess it would make sense to start with the background to it all…. Please bear with me, this is the first time I’ve ever said this out loud so it might come out wrong, or the words might not seem right, but I promise that by the end of tonight you’ll understand.

Before Hyejin and I came to Seoul, we were as close as could be- we went everywhere together, we did everything together, we told each other everything, and we never kept secrets from each other- except from the time my kitten ate her goldfish when we were 6, but that doesn’t matter now. You get it right? We were best friends back then. When we came to Seoul and started at Rainbow Bridge Academy, she started to change- not personally change, but physically change, you know because we were growing up. Call it raging hormones if you want (I know I did for a long time) but I started to notice her growing up. She suddenly became so much prettier to me- it was as if someone had switched on the lights and I could see her clearly. I began to notice how her body was changing because we were growing up and I liked it- I caught myself staring at her a lot, and to this day am embarrassed about it. It took me a long time, most of the first year, to come to terms with it, but it was about then that I started to realise that yeah, guys are okay, but I never wanted to be with them romantically or as anything more than friends- and I started to notice girls around me and the way I felt about them was like nothing I’d ever felt when looking at a guy. With Hyejin though, times it by about a million. The intensity of my feelings towards her hit me hard, so I started to avoid her whenever I could. We stopped hanging out after school and I stopped knocking on her door every morning to walk to school with her, once we said goodbye on a Friday afternoon that would be it until Monday morning. That was when I started to get picked on at school, because I was short and because I had no friends. I remember Hyejin was there for me to chase away other kids who teased me. She knew I’d been avoiding her but she never asked why and I didn’t tell her.

That was when you came into the picture and sorted out Mr Lee’s son- that ended all of the teasing and all of the anxiety about coming to school, just having you there to look out for me. Having both of you made me feel a lot stronger. I’ll admit it, it started as pure admiration but I developed a crush on you pretty quickly which helped me to distract myself from Hyejin, and so I let myself get close to her again. Eventually, I realised that your feelings towards Krystal sunbaenim were so similar to my feelings towards Hyejin and my crush on her came back, hard. But I didn’t tell anyone. For both of your sakes, and my own, I didn’t abandon Hyejin again. I couldn’t do it to her again.” She sniffled back her tears and I fed her a small amount of her ice cream which was beginning to melt. That was enough for her to continue her story.

“For a year and a half I managed to keep my feelings a secret, still trying to convince myself that I wasn’t in love with my best friend. But, after the icebreaker party at that mansion outside of the estate. You know? The one after my birthday. We were both VERY drunk. When we made it back to the apartment block we both staggered into her apartment, we kissed- like made out kind of kissing. She told me that she was in love with me and that was enough for me. I stayed the night at her place- neither of us remember exactly what happened after that, but we woke up in only our underwear in her bed. So… I dunno… but the next morning I made her breakfast clothed in her dressing gown, and when she finally got out of bed we talked about what the previous night meant for our relationship. We both accepted that it was a drunken mistake and it shouldn’t have come out like it did, and also that we both need to prioritise our studies over a relationship. But we agreed that if we still feel the same way about each other in a year’s time then we should make it official.” I held my hand up a little to stop her before she went any further

“You mean to tell me that basically you and Hyejin have basically been a couple for the last few months and I haven’t noticed a single thing?!” she nodded

“We didn’t want you to find out in case something changes between us and we decide to remain friends only.”

“And you also mean to tell me that you and Hyejin might have… you know… done… IT… and neither of you has any idea?!” she nodded again.

“We like to think that even in our drunken state we were able to realise how wrong it would have been to have done anything; I’m only 14! So we came to the agreement that even if anything happened we will act as if nothing happened.”

“Okay, that makes sense… So, how does any of this explain the state you were in earlier? I don’t mean to press… I just want to understand”

“It’s okay, I was just getting there. To cut a long story really short, I felt like she stopped paying attention to me, like I didn’t matter anymore. The secret looks we used to share, the private smiles, and the jokes between us were coming fewer and further between- I don’t know how much of it is my fault and how much is hers, but we seemed to be growing apart. I wanted to test my theory, so started acting super clingy to you- to see if it gained me her attention, or whether she got jealous. And when nothing seemed to be happening from it, I just wanted to hide away from the world. Do you know what I mean? It’s like… I felt worthless to her, like everything we had we’d thrown away with careless words, like I was just a play thing to her that she could leave when things start getting serious, like I didn’t matter to her- and I was devastated by those thoughts. I wanted to talk to her about it, ask her what was going through her head, but every time I got the chance- whenever it was just the two of us, or whenever Yongsun unnie was playing ‘hypnotice’ with you- I couldn’t find the words, or couldn’t bring myself to ask.” I raised my hand again to ask a question, she nodded at me

“What in the world is ‘hypnotice’? And why do you say Yongsun plays it with me when I have no clue what it is?” this elicited a gentle laugh from the other girl.

“Well… you know Yongsun is really into psychology and stuff, well she’s really good at hypnosis- either that or you’re just really weak-minded” she said with a giggle “and sometimes she genuinely uses hypnosis on you to get you to do stuff, like carry her bag, or take us for ice cream, or walk her home from work. The beauty of it is that she plants the idea in your head and lets you come to the conclusion that you’ve had this great idea. We call it hypnotice because sometimes you notice- it’s quite funny when you do because you get all flustered and start pouting at her. Sometimes we agree in advance what she’ll try and convince you to do- like that time she tried to get you to smuggle the helium balloons from the science department’s party, she almost had you with that one but she got cocky at the last moment before she could seal the deal. I was never gonna tell you that it was happening to you because I find it hilarious whether you do what she says or not! Happy now?” I nodded.

“All this time… and I never noticed… Anyway, back to you, now you’ve cleared that up.” I placed my elbows on the table as I fed her another spoonful of ice cream which was barely solid now.

“Umm… yeah... where was I? OH YEAH! I came to the conclusion that (I hate to quote Mark Twain, but it seems apt) that ‘actions speak louder than words, but not nearly as often’ so tried to ask or give her some grand romantic gesture to get her attention, but I was too afraid to do either, afraid of rejection, afraid of her saying what I’m still not ready to hear…” she sniffed back a sob, took a deep breath and looked me dead in the eye “That’s why, on Friday I was acting the way I was, I mean secondary to the fact that I was absolutely terrified for the disco- because I didn’t want a repeat of the icebreaker and to feel like she needed me only to go back to the way things were, as well as being worried about where you were all morning. Anyway, so I won’t lie to you, I had every intention of getting drunk at that party, but I mustn’t have quite been at the stage where everything goes because I have a really vague memory of you telling Jungkook I’m your girlfriend, and I remember how nice it felt to be in your arms and I remember the feeling of your lips against my cheek, but I thought it was all a dream until you told me otherwise. But… most of all… I remember… I wanted to…. I remember thinking this is how I make Hyejin jealous. That was when I kissed you. I won’t lie and say I don’t remember kissing you but I’m being as sincere as I can be when I promise you that it didn’t mean anything, and I didn’t mean any harm, and I promise that I won’t hold it against you if you get mad or walk out of here right now and decide you don’t want to hear another word I have to say.” I grabbed her hands which were now on the table ripping up a napkin that she’d pulled out of the little dispenser against the wall and gave them a gentle squeeze.

“I’d never turn my back on you when you need me. And… if it’s any consolation, she definitely cares about you a hell of a lot. From an outside perspective, knowing what I know now, her actions make a lot of sense. She asked me on Friday if we were dating because she was secretly jealous, and she looked, I don’t know- relieved?- when I told her we aren’t. And then her anger at me when I announced later that you’re my girlfriend was nothing compared to how hurt and angry she was at you- I’ve never had to chastise her before; she’s always so respectful despite her cold aura. But she started to freak out at you when you said you didn’t want to leave and despite how mad she was she made sure that she was the one to take care of you. And you know what else? Staying mad at you is probably her way of dealing with the hurt. Think about it from her perspective, she’s probably feeling like she means nothing to you, like when you told her you love her that it was just words- she’s probably really hurt, and confused, and isolating you to shield herself from more hurt. I don’t want to make you feel bad about this, I wouldn’t be here if I wanted you to blame yourself, but she’s probably feeling just as insecure and vulnerable as you are. I think you both need to sit down and have a conversation about exactly how you’re feeling and how you feel about each other, and if the feeling is mutual, then make it official. I dunno if that’s what you want to hear, but I feel like that’s what needs to happen because this arrangement at the moment is just causing insecurities and problems that don’t even need to exist.” She looked up at me with teary eyes but gave me a warm smile nonetheless. I dipped my finger in the orangey goo in the bowl in front of me and smeared it on the end of her nose. “There’s my favourite smile” I grinned warmly back at her as she wiped her nose.

The rest of the evening we spent in the ice cream parlour was full of laughter and fun conversation. I’d missed being with Whee In like this. I guess I’d been spending so much time with Yongsun these past few weeks that I’d sort of neglected my other friends. But seeing Whee In like this, going from her absolute lowest back to her usual self after just a simple conversation made me realise that everything is salvageable, there had to be something I could do to fix my friendship with Yongsun and I wouldn’t stop trying until we’d either fixed things or she gives up on me entirely.

When we finished the ice cream we got up and thanked Heeyeon for being so kind and we left. Whee In walked beside me with her hands in her pockets and so I slid one hand into her pocket and held hers. She smiled warmly at me and then looked down at our hands in her pocket. We didn’t get very far before she took both of my hands in hers and turned to face me. “Byul-ah, I think you’re right- I think I need to talk to Hyejin, as soon as possible. I love her too much to lose her and I need to try. Thank you so much for this evening, you have no idea how much I appreciate you. Thanks for the advice, now I can see what I need to do.” I blushed a little at the sincerity of her words. She stood on her tip-toes and gave me a small kiss on the cheek before breaking apart from me and walking into the hair and nails salon we had stopped outside. I watched her walk with confidence over to Hyejin whose face contorted with confusion at the sight of the other girl. She sat down in the chair beside her and began talking. I could feel a grin tugging at the corner of my lips, and I let it linger there as I watched the scene unfold.

Suddenly I heard a door slam across the street and looked over the road to see Yongsun outside of the café she worked in looking like she was struggling to lock the door. I let the boyish grin slide off my face as I watched her fumbling with the keys before deciding to go over and offer to help. “Hey! Need a hand?” I called as I approached. She opened the door a crack and slammed it shut again.

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Author's note: Hiiii! Look who's back! I spent the entire afternoon writing this chapter and for once I'm really happy with how it turned out. It isn't perfect, but I feel like it contains everything it needs to and conveys the correct emotions appropriately. I'll let you in on a secret though, being completely honest with you this wasn't how it was supposed to turn out (my inner Wheebyul fangirl wanted Whee In to confess her feelings for Byuli to her) but once I started writing this I kept running with the idea (because let's be honest, who doesn't love a bit of angsty Wheesa?) :)

This is the longest chapter yet, I hope that's okay with you guys- let me know either way. The next chapter is set to be pretty long too purely because of where I left this one. Speaking of which! The next chapter is already underway (I know, I'm on it like a car bonnet at the moment XD) and should be up by the end of the week if all goes right. The reason I'm getting chapters out so quickly is for two main reasons. 1) I have so many ideas for what I want to write next, which is good for you guys because it means that it isn't just random and scatty, AND 2) I had an idea for another story but don't want to start anything before I finish this one so am just using my free time to get this one finished.

That's all from me, for today. All my usual thanks to you all for reading and subscribing (and commenting and upvoting if you want to give me another couple of minutes of your precious time) Take care of yourselves until we meet again, and try not to miss me too much until then :P

Lala out ;)