Taehyung tried to convince Jeongguk from moving, he did everything to make Jeongguk to stay until Jeongguk cut the ties with his plans and he managed to stay, for Taehyung but not for the longest period, his path was still telling him to start from the new page and maybe keep the relationship fresh with Taehyung no matter how long distance they has between them.

Taehyung and Jeongguk decided to go to the coffee shop to just sit down and speak everything straight to understand better whats going on in their minds.

The coffee shop breathed a calming atmosphere, sugarsweet aroma overflowing their nostrils, they took a seat under the window, which opened a beautiful scenery into their eyes to admire at while sipping a hot coffee under the warm sunlight.

Taehyung was mixing the sugar in his cappucino looking up at Jeongguk, who was sitting infront of him, his hair were messy with soft curls, he was wearing a beanie to hide his messy hair because Jeongguk is always too lazy to brush his hair, but Taehyung liked it when Jeongguk's hair were flawing that way, it made him more breathtakingly mesmerising than he actually is.

Jeongguk sipped his bitter black coffee, without any sugar. Taehyung wondered how anyone could ever stand to drink a caffeine with no ingredients in it but he couldn't take his eyes off from Jeongguk's long alluring eyelashes and his powerful eyebrows, he was craving to draw him, he would draw him everyday just to not forget this gorgeous face of his.

Jeongguk looked up at Taehyung as he placed down his coffee cup, the tension was flying in the air, none of them didn't know how to speak, how to bring this topic up. It felt like they were really distant, Taehyung's heart told him that something's bothering Jeongguk but he doesn't want to tell him somehow.

„Why were you about to leave? Without giving me any explanation? Do you know how much you've hurted my feelings without messaging me or even answered to my calls?! I need answers for it Jeongguk! If anything's bothering you then just speak it up don't leave me in flames like that, its burning me inside“ Taehyung bit his lip, his sweaty palms squeezed into fist.

Jeongguk frowned his handsome eyebrows, his eyes examined on his black coffee staring at his reflection that shined through the brightness from the window.

„you don't need answers in my opinion, Taehyung. Life will show you all the answers in the near future I am not the one to tell you that“ this version of Jeongguk's answer left Taehyung more confused with more questionmarks.

„what do you mean by that, Jeongguk?“ the anxiety started to creep inside Taehyung.

„If you want to, we can continue with our relationship during these short times but it wont last forever, this is our fate, Taehyung. Life didn't write our destiny to be eternal it said that we have our own limits and the limit starts right here and we should risk it with all we have, until we break apart.“

each word from Jeongguk stabbed into Taehyung's heart inch by inch and the pain got worse and worse by each sentence, each word, each breath, each voice that Jeongguk shared with him.

Taehyung could feel his eyes water up, suddenly his body was boiling with warmth, he got difficulties with breathing there was no air left to breath, he was so upset with the thought that Jeongguk will no longer stay beside him, he thought their relationship would last forever.

„Taehyung?“ he could hear Jeongguk's pleasurable voice in echo, he looked out from the window trying to calm himself down, he tried to stop the sweating, stop the adrenaline flow in his veins, he tried to suppress the panic he was about to experience in horror, he didn't want to break down infront of Jeongguk but it hurted, he felt like he was stabbed with a knife straight into his heart and it kept bleeding and it never stopped.

Suddenly Taehyung felt the touch on his burning cheeks and his head was turned towards Jeongguk's, he came across his and have cupped his arms over Taehyung's wet cheeks, his thumb slightly brushed his tears away and their eyes were locked with eachother.

Taehyung was so confused, the emptiness was taking over his body, he felt so cold all of sudden and the electricity and fireworks he once felt between them, was gone. Was Jeongguk actually loving him? Or was he just playing with him trying to fit in to the group where he actually didn't belong to? Were Jeongguk's feelings even real towards him?

But he didn't troubled to ask, he was afraid that what he thought was true, he felt played, his feelings were twirled around Jeongguk's fingers then they were about to let go, his feelings were like a ball for Jeongguk what he could kick around with or even throw away to the distance then never come and pick it up again.

Taehyung's feelings for him were stronger than fire, heavier than stone, he held him like a treasure, so carefully that he would be so upset if he happens to lose it. He wanted to love him like he never loved before, knowing it was his last change he gave his best to put his entire energy into this limited relationship.

Taehyung was willing to make Jeongguk fall in love with him for real, with real feelings. He wanted to hear it straight from Jeongguk's voice saying that he loves him, and with a honest and sincere voice tone.

Taehyung started to see Jeongguk around school again, but he still didn't receive any looks from Jeongguk which seemed to be really awkward for him, they seemed to get along well at the café yesterday, they shared brief kisses, soft and warm hugs with eachother but today the tensions still keeps to choke him on the inside.

Namjoon kept nudgeing Taehyung but he never seemed to pay attention since he was too off the wall, Seokjin kept staring at Taehyung with a questioned look on his face trying to figure out whats bothering him.

„He seems to be so zoned off“ Namjoon noted as he realised that Taehyung never reacted to his nudges. Seokjin nodded in response.

„Do you recognize something strange, babe?“ Seokjin asked Namjoon, his lover looked towards him and shook his head in response but the look on his face gave Seokjin a sign to go on.

„He barely interacts with Jeongguk, Jeongguk never shares glances with him while Taehyung keeps desiring for his eyecontacts in hunger, I haven't seen them together for so long, do you think they are fighting or something?“ Seokjin asked Namjoon.

„I can feel the tension between them, you are right with the points you've mentioned, but I think we shouldn't interrupt when its theirs problem to solve, but I heard some rumors around school that Jeongguk is going to move out?“

„Oh noo...“ Seokjin gasped covering his mouth, his eyes doe-eyed.

„That must cause a sharp pain into Taehyung's chest, he must feel so drained...“

„Poor Taehyung“ Seokjin felt so sorry for his friend, looking towards him with a worrying expression on his face, his hand gently carressing Namjoon's - „I hope everything's going to be okay between them“

After the school Taehyung decided to wait at the schoolyard for Jeongguk to show up, he kept looking over all the surroundings he kept his eye open to not miss his beloved walking by.

Something smiliar catched his eye, it was a black hoodie, which also covered the head of the person, Taehyung was aware that it was Jeongguk because it was the same hoodie he wore today.

He grabbed from the hoodie and pulled Jeongguk closer to him, the hood fell down on his head to reveal that Taehyung grabbed the right person, fortunately yes.

„what the ?“ it came as a surprise for Jeongguk, his eyes widened and lips amazingly parted from the sudden move.

Taehyung's emotions were mixed with anger, disappointment and confusion.

„why were you avoiding me at school today?! Didn't yesterday mean anything to you?!“ it was difficult for Taehyung to control the stability of his voice, it was a bit hoarse and shaky.

It provided a slight fun to Jeongguk, it was quite funny the way Taehyung's face twitched from the frustation, how his voice sounded and how ridiculous he shined in Jeongguk's eyes.

„oh im sorry! Was it bothering you?“ Jeongguk got few inches closer to Taehyung

Taehyung rolled his eyes at his cockiness „honestly yes! Everything was completely alright yesterday what have gotten into you?!“ Taehyung was so close to lose his temper.

„Chill Taehyung,“ Jeongguk laughed shrugging himself off from Taehyung tight grip

„I'm leaving anyway remember?“ he added.

Taehyung felt his throat tighten, he couldn't figure out why Jeongguk was suddenly acting this way didn't they works things out that they will stay together until the distance is breaking them or did it mean that the hours of silence and departure was about to take place from the time they actually made peace about it? He couldn't understand it, something's bothering Jeongguk but he doesn't seem to share a single word about it.

He loosened his grip from Jeongguk's hoodie.

„Go“ was all Taehyung wanted to say but it didn't come out from his mouth his throat was tied up to even say anything anymore. It was useless, waste of time if Jeongguk still manages to pretends to hide his face behind ignorant mask.

As Jeongguk got released from Taehyung's grip he shrugged his shoulder just like trying to shake off all these dust that wants to eat him deep inside. He managed a slight grin on his face

„Was nice talking to you Taehyung“ these might be the last words Taehyung ever hears from him, perhaps this is it, the end of their relationship all these flowers that flourished inside his heart are now about to wither, never being watered by Jeongguk's love, it was so unbearable to hold on onto their lives, the ground was getting dry, they felt thirst, care and desire from that one and only person, named Jeongguk.

 

Days passed longer than usual, Taehyung never left from his bed, his bed was cuddling him tight, never wanting to let go even if he was about move an inch, the deepness of the mattress sinking his body in, feeling pleasured of his presence pressuring into the soft material.

Taehyung's mind was filled with thoughts, his mind seemed to be like a messy room, thoughts all around in every corner, unable to figure out where to start cleaning up his thoughts from and would it even be possible to recycle all this mess out of his head.

His lips were longing for a kiss, his lips were lifeless, so dry and lonely

His body was desiring for touches, closeness, tenderness, soft kisses and hot breaths to plant against it. His body was like an ice cold, too limp and weak to carry with him any longer.

His ears were desparate to hear a honey dripping voice which sounds like a jingle bell. So pure, so tender, so soft, so innocent. His ears wanted to be caressed by Jeongguk's voice only, they were used to the silence surrounding around them.

His heart missing to pull a heartstring from Jeongguk, it was crying for beating like a mantra for Jeongguk and only for him. His heart was aching for Jeongguk's loss more than ever.

Everyday felt like a brutal hell for Taehyung, he had no appetite, his body rarely wanted to drag him anywhere but he only laid on the bed with a sketchbook resting on his lap. His ethereal fingers held onto the pencil where he sketched magical lines on the blank white paper.

The clear, praticular, straight lines were drawn on the paper to visualize that one characther gravitated into his heart, the circling lines illustrated the locks which looked like Jeongguk's silky fluffy hair

Sparkling eyes drawn onto the paper with so much pressure, shaded, , erased to bring out the enlighting and sprinkling effects on Jeongguk's eyes. All those secretive and fascinating stories put into one sketch which demostrates the meaningful story from Jeongguk's delightful eyes.

Jeongguk's lips were shaped, beautifully sketched, visually brilliant Taehyung tried his best to add the plumb, cherry lips effect on the paper with slight and faint shades, making it more outstanding and kissable as they looked in real life.

His heart couldn't sleep at ease, it was restlessly left ice-cold in the corner of the fridge.

Jeongguk meant everything to him, he was like a book which Taehyung didn't ever want to end and it was too difficult to put down.

 

Jeongguk and his mother have been packing the whole day, they decided to not wait any longer, a beyond new life was ahead us and they were too excited to open new oppurnities and changes into their life, nothing sounded so inviting and blissful than a new city with a brand new house next to the lake on the other side of the world at Hampstead in London.

His mother's relatives and lovable friends were living near this village, she even got a job which her very generous friend, Christine, suggested her, it was promised that she will be making a good amount of money.

Their house was empty, it had no life carrying within it, it echoed back to you if you made a noise. The packages and luggages were ready to go, waiting next to the door.

Jeongguk was laying on the mattress, which laid in his room all lonely, and abandoned, typing something on his phone carefully. They were about to leave in few hours the atmosphere was filled with anxiety of excitement.

He heard his mother call for him from the other room and he got up his gaze still locked onto the screen, he walked towards the sound where his mother's voice was heard. He looked up at his mom as he arrived, she is already ready to go, she wore a black coat with a furry material and her hair were marvelously tied up in a ponytail, her long eyelashes clapped together for a second as he catched an eyecontact with his mom's glistening hazel eyes.

„We have to get going I don't want to get late, my boyfriend promised to pick me up at certain time when we arrive.“ she said taking the luggages.

Jeongguk nodded shoving his phone into the pocket helping his mom with the packages. He helped to carry the luggages and packages into the car then he hopped into the car on the passegner seat. His mom started the engine and they were on their way to the airport.

He was too tired to listen to his mother blabbering about her fresh new boyfriend, he didn't care about her ups and downs, he was looking out of the window into the nature the whole ride, his mother realized that Jeongguk was not in the mood to talk then she didn't bother to disturb him anymore.

His mind suddenly drawed to Taehyung, their last meeting, their last word exhanges, he felt like he was stabbed into his heart, he felt it wasn't right what he did, regret was washing over him, there's nothing he could do anymore, he didn't want to text Taehyung, it seemed to be so foolish and pointless. He learned how to let go.

They arrived at the airport after a while, Jeongguk helped his mother with the luggages and the packages then they were on their way to their flight.

Jeongguk started to imagine how his voice is going to be called by that sweet voice he actually adored but pretended not to. His heart was hammering in his chest because of the effect this voice had on him, each step he made the voice came closer and closer to him.

He turned around and he felt his heart sinking under the ground, it wasn't a ridiculous imagination it turned to be real. The person he dreamed of was right infront of him.

„Hi“ Jeongguk said, his tone seemed to be emotionless which obviously wasn't a big surprise for Taehyung

Taehyung nodded as a respond he was too breathless to respond.

Jeongguk just stood there waiting for Taehyung to say something, Taehyung thought Jeongguk was the one to open his mouth first, he thought he felt bad about the last time they interacted and actually apologized, maybe he hoped too much and it won't happen.

„I don't know what's up with your retarded mind to treat me like an idiot but tell you what, you were my first eternal love I have ever loved so dearly and with desire. I am head over heels in love with you, I just cant keep you out of my sight you're such a magnificent living creature, who exudes charismatic and mysterious side thats what I love about you and I know there is that gentle part hidden inside you but you just don't want to bring it up on stage often, for s sake how much I love you Jeongguk, so passionately and strong. I can't imagine my life without you I can't handle being another meter apart from you...“ Taehyung almost choked on his words stopping himself from crying.

Each word that slipped from Taehyung's lips digged deep into Jeongguk's soul until it landed into the end and made him feel emptiness crawling inside him, his eyes filled with water. He rubbed his eyes with his fingers so he wouldn't tear up infront of Taehyung.

„ Taehyung“ Jeongguk looked up at the ceiling, his eyes still drowning in water he tried to suppress them down, as his blurry vision disappeared he could find the courage to look back at Taehyung.

His hands squeezed into fists, his lips pursed into thin line, he was too afraid to say it.

„I love you too“ were the word Jeongguk could choke out from his throat, his voice was shaking miserably he had no control over it anymore.

Tears were flowing down Taehyung's cheeks and he drawed closer to him hugging him effortlessly strong in his arms, Jeongguk felt like he was squeezing him too tight just like not wanting to let go, he felt he was about to break into little pieces under Taehyung's arms. The hold was so tight and so sincere that it let Jeongguk's tears escape, he purried in his face into Taehyung shoulder his tears marking itself onto Taehyung soft sweatshirt, which smelled just exactly like him.

They looked at eachother for few seconds, their eyes explained all those stories untold between them, their eyes were unbreakable.

„Before you go“ Taehyung broke the eyecontact and started to look into his backbag. Jeongguk faintly frowned, what was Taehyung looking from his backbag?

Taehyung pulled out a sketchbook of his and he reached it out for him: „This is for you“

He took the sketchbook from his hands and he started to skim through it. He forgot how to breath, this sketchbook was fill of portaits of him.

every sketch had its own message hidden in it, they looked so magnificent, so breathtakingly outstanding. There's no need to express Taehyung's endless feelings into it, they all were poured into these thousands of sketches, Taehyung drew him since he fell in love with him, he drew him into this sketchbook for years and it explained clearly how special spot Jeongguk had in Taehyung's heart.

he closed his eyes, tears threatening to come into his eyes again, he bit onto his lips, his fingers digging into the sketchbook.

He opened his eyes just to look at Taehyung with a blurry vision.

„I'm speechless, I-“ tears were running down on Jeongguk's cheeks.

„Don't say anything, Jeongguk. Let it be, please don't ever forget us.“ Taehyung took Jeongguk's hand into his and gently caressed his knuckles.

Jeongguk looked down his tears seemed to have no end, he couldn't stop them either.

He could hear a signal that his flight is about to go off and the running seconds were about to start, it felt strange for Jeongguk but he didn't want to go, he couldn't.

Taehyung leaned in to him and he kissed him passionately, it was supposed to be their last kiss, Jeongguk felt his body on fire, Taehyung's lips pressed against his, his tounge meeting his, their tounges touching and dancing like there was no tomorrow, it was a hot, desiring and the last kiss.

Jeongguk catched his breath as Taehyung removed from him, it broke him inside when he saw Taehyung stepping few steps back mouthing „goodbye, I love you“ for the really last time from now.

'Don't go, don't go, don't go' Jeongguk wanted to say but his voice was too weak.

„Come on, Jeongguk“ he could feel his mother's hand on his shoulder, he nodded slowly looking down at his feet, following his mother to their plane.

Taehyung watched them leave and there he went from distance to the distance, where they can't reach eachother anymore, they will never be in eachother's life anymore. Taehyung broke down, he collapsed and started to cry.

Jeongguk was staring at the sketchbook, what Taehyung gave him illustrated with his features only, he doesn't remember which time it is when he keeps looking through it, he didn't count. His mother was sleeping beside him, he couldn't. It was nearly 3 am at the moment.

His eyes were red from crying, his lips still swollen from their last kiss. He brushed his finger through Taehyung's signature under the portait of him. The violent tears dropped on the paper and he closed the sketchbook taking a deep breath, his tears still flowing.

He will be better for his next lover next time, he will be someone, who loves so sincerely and isn't afraid to show it. He will open himself more for the person he wants to share his whole life with, he will give himself a promise that he will make that person feel like its the best person alive, he will never make his lover suffer, not anymore, he will apologize for his mistakes and their love will bloom into a healthy beautiful flower.

But he knew he made a good impact on Taehyung, he changed him the person he was today, so soft, full of love, so open with his feelings, his heart didn't emit the evil atmosphere anymore, he was completely a different person and its all thanks to him. Taehyung is luckily a better version of himself from now on, Jeongguk was lucky it was him who could change Taehyung and who could manage to bring out the truest colors from Taehyung.

He hoped Taehyung will live a happy life from now on.