When Johnny came back, he wasn’t supposed to be met with the stillness of the house. The whole house was so deathly quiet like a graveyard.

“Lydia?” Instead of being met with a smile or your footsteps running down the stairs, his voice echoed through the house.

Walking through the house, he found the pool littered with leaves, all of them floating on the surface. The photos of the both of you were also removed from the living room.

The house looked abandoned.

Something’s not right… where is she?

Running up the steps two at the time, each room he checked seem to confirm his suspicion. The study table was stripped clean of all your belongings; not even a single pen lay there. In the bathroom, all your toiletries were gone, leaving only his behind. Lastly, he checked the room the both of you shared and the first thing that hit him was the smell. The room didn’t smell like you anymore, the smell of sweet strawberries weren’t lingering in the air anymore. Tearing open the wardrobe, he couldn’t see your clothing anymore. Gone were the silk tops and lace blouses and familiar black dress pants; all that’s left is empty hangers and rows of his clothing. On your side of the bed, in replacement of you, was a single folder from your lawyer’s office. His long fingers worked quickly and he poured the contents of the folder out. The divorce paper came fluttering out as well as a letter from you which was hand-written in your cursive penmanship. Your wedding ring also landed on top of the divorce papers together with a namecard for Kim Doyoung.

Divorce document…? What the hell.

Johnny couldn’t wrap his head around the whole situation and thought this was all a bad joke. But as he read your letter, he realised he was faced with the reality of a lifetime without u. This wasn’t a joke, this was real.

“To Johnny –

If you’re reading this now, then you must have realised that our house has been stripped clean of my belongings and is now void of my presence. This isn’t a nightmare or dream Johnny, it’s real. It’s true that I’ve left and I’m leaving forever. Enclosed in this folder is the divorce letter and my wedding ring which I’m returning to you. Please do read the terms of the divorce. If there’s any issues with it please contact my lawyer, Kim Doyoung. He will serve as our medium of contact. If not, please do sign the divorce letter and have it ready for collection; my lawyer will contact you very soon.

If you’re wondering whether or not the last few months were fake, I swear it’s not. I meant every word I said and I did love you. Like I’ve said so many times before, I appreciate all you’ve done for me and the trip to Hong Kong was magical, as well as that night. You’ve given your all to me as I have but things have changed.  You have a right to know why I left so let me explain my absence.

Ever since that night when you went to the bar to find Jaehyun and Ten, I began to feel differently. Please don’t blame Jaehyun, Ten or yourself for your decision to go there; it has nothing to do with that. I made a mistake of following you there and I apologise for not being to trust you. I just couldn’t help myself that night and went after you. What I saw brought back the horrors of the past.

When I see drunken people, I see you reflected in their eyes.

When I see those unfaithful people, I’m afraid it’s you.

When I see those violent people fighting on the streets, I fear for your life.

Ever since then, I began to doubt you. I’m scared when you come home, what if you’re hiding someone else behind your back? Another girl…?

I don’t want to live the rest of my life doubting and fear