Despair

Smudges
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WARNING: (A little) foul language present in this chapter. Read with caution.

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The digital clock by your side read 2:00am but you couldn’t sleep. A late night thriller movie was playing right in front of you, the psychopathic murderer having just dragged the victim down to the dingy basement. You used to be afraid of such movies, but now, nothing really scared you anymore.

Even death.

Muffled sounds of a woman’s giggles travelled through the silent house and you were sure it wasn’t coming from your TV.

Who could it be?

The door flew open, hitting the grey walls with a loud bang. A lady sashayed into your house, her tight leather dress showing off her curves in all the right places, the skirt too high up her thighs and the top too low. She wore red heels, those with the heels so high you often wonder how people managed to walk in them. She wore a huge diamond necklace, the entire thing so big it flayed out across her entire collarbone. Johnny had one arm slung around her shoulder and they looked like they had just walked out of an image in the newspaper, the kind Johnny used to feature on so frequently in the past for the wrong reasons. Both of them were obviously drunk, neither of them could walk properly and sour smell of alcohol reeked from their bodies. You made accidental eye contact with the woman and she simply smirked at you before turning her attention back to Johnny.

“Johnny, should we head to your room?” No doubt those words were for you to hear.

“Let’s go!” Johnny tossed his head back as laughter erupted from his body, his finger pointing up the stairs. They disappeared up your stairwell and the sound of a door slamming shut followed.

In the past, you had felt disappointment but this time, your feelings were much stronger, and went beyond simple disappointment. You felt your heart crack; you felt the pain so strongly you thought you almost heard your heart cracking physically. Unbeknownst to the both of you, Johnny’s actions had touched your heart and he was slowly inching his way into your heart. But now, all his efforts will be gone down the drain. You’ve forgiven him for all his past mistakes and you geninuely thought he had changed for the better.

What a fool you were, and now you only have yourself to blame for this utter let down. What you could not fathom though was this one thing: How could he bring another woman home to commit another heinous act of infide

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LiebeBlue #1
Finally someone made a story with happy ending mean that the protagonists are not always to be together. I love your work, the way you write and your idea. Thank you for making this story.
Kuro_Wol
#2
Chapter 31: I BINGED. Oh damn wow. This was really good, I can see why you're proud of it. You know how much I love slice of life and the message you're putting across in this could not be more true - our past wounds may heal over time but the scars never fade away. And sometimes we have to come to terms with that, even if it's a painful reality to accept. Really enjoyed this one, Del! Hit me in the feelz
FlareJayna #3
Chapter 31: I absolutely love this story and this is definitely one of the most well written fanfic i have ever read. I do really like the plot twist and the ending. At first i do hope that they would end up together but i guess it just isnt right for lydia to live on with the fear and the doubt she felt. This fanfic really get me thinking about life and i hope you will continue writing such beautiful fanfics.
superdupper
#4
Chapter 31: This is such a beautiful story. Huhuhu I know that Lydia will be happy if she didnt end up with johnny because johnny had hurt her in the past. It's a bit sad to she didnt end up with Johnny but that's their fate . but really this story is written very well author nim. Really love it
Love_jennie
#5
Chapter 31: Absolutely the best fanfic ive ever read! I love the plot twist
marry_kim
#6
Chapter 31: This is amazing
stacy_lu #7
*ill continue here :))
At first, I didn't like the fact that she decided to leave him after the precious time they had in HK. But slowly a thought came to my mind saying it's not right as well for her to be in a relationship where she doesn't feel right. And partially, it's really not fair for him as well to be in a relationship where his love is doubted, when he's obviously giving his all to her. Its funny how my thoughts immediately went to reality, wondering if someone, somewhere out there living a life exactly like this, did they choose to leave like she did? Or stay and break herself more and his heart along the away? I'll never know. But if I was to be her, I'd do the exact same. Because if two souls are meant to be together, they will always find their way back to each other no matter what. If not, you just have to learn to let go. No matter how hard it gets. If not for the other person, do it for yourself. The void in your soul doesn't always has to be filled with someone else's presence. Sometimes the void can only be filled with your own self. Someone wise once said, you can only love someone else fully, if you learn to love yourself first. Thank you for sticking to your original storyline. If it wasn't for the fact that you went along with this ending, I would've sworn, I'd forget that our feelings- what feels right to the heart and soul- matters the most if happiness is what you seek for in this often mistaken world.
stacy_lu #8
Hai author-nim.
First of all I want to applaud your awesome writing. The way you write your story was really different from the fanfics that are available these days. It almost felt like I was back in my teenage days where I was awake in the middle of the night in my bedroom reading fics that would make me feel like someone was gripping my heart so tight, almost breaking it to pieces. And i didn't mind it at all. These type of fics were always my fav. It's was really an eyeopener and to be honest, just what this tired soul of mine longs for. I'm really glad I found Smudge. I haven't read something that made me look back in life for quite awhile now. Your story made me think alot.
prism7ths #9
Chapter 31: thank you for writing such a great rollercoaster ride of emotions story >< i really love it, all the sweet angsty vibes in the story. hopefully there are more amazing stories to come in the future ^^ have a great year ahead author nim, may God bless you. xo
babychanwoo
#10
Chapter 31: OMG THIS STORY IS SO GOOD AND U BROKE MY HEART BUT IT'S OKEY,I LOVE U i mean i love how u make my kokoro break HEHEHE<3.i hope u planning for a new jhonny story:)