Grateful

Smudges
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Ever since that day, Johnny began treating you very carefully, making his promise of caring for you come true. He had his own fears when it came to you but he pushed them all aside when it came to caring for you. He understood very clearly that this would be the last chance he had with you and he intended to make good use of this given chance.

-

The first day you were discharged from the hospital, you remembered that you had left a folder with Taeyong and you decided that you wanted it back. You knew that Taeyong would be in the office at this time of the day so you wasted no time in getting yourself back to the office. Walking down the stairs, you noticed that Johnny was in the living room watching the morning news.

"I need to head back to my office. I'll be right back."

"Wait." Before you could question him, he disappeared and came back out wearing a button down shirt with jeans.

"What are you doing?"

"Driving you to work."

"What? No it's fine, I can drive myself."

 “But I want to drive you. Let's go."

Johnny snatched up his car keys and was out of the door before you were. You decided to just go with him and for the first time since getting your driver's license, you were sitting in the passenger seat. The ride to your office was silent, soft music from the radio playing in the background. It's only been a day since your discharge from the hospital and you still felt very distant from Johnny and hence the silence, as you didn't know what to say to him. On cue, your stomach growled and alerted Johnny of its mistreatment by you.

"You haven't eaten breakfast yet? Why?"

Out of habit, you said the words you always said.

"I'm not hungry."

Johnny wanted to argue back, saying that your stomach thought otherwise but he decided against it, worried that he might cause you to close back in further, making the process of getting close to you more difficult.

She can't keep doing this... she might become underweight or develop health problems one day...

As the light turned red, Johnny pressed his foot against the brake, bringing the car to a slow stop. As pedestrians passed in front of him, Johnny turned to take to look at you. Finally being able to take a good look at you, what he found shock him.

You looked very thin, your arms like twigs. Your face looked much slimmer, the cheekbones sinking in slightly. Looking down at your legs, he found that the bones in your ankle stood out more. It was as though only the skin was wrapping around your ankles, no flesh or fats. Your collarbone also stood out prominently. Despite having slept from days before and the night before, you looked extremely tired. Overall, you didn't look ghastly enough to cause alarm but it still hurt Johnny to see you lose weight so rapidly.

This won't do. I really need to make her eat more.

"Johnny? The light has turned green."

"Right, sorry."

Changing the gear and pressing on the accelerator, Johnny continued to speed off in the direction of your office.

"Just wait in the car, I'll be right back."

However, when you turned in front to face your office building, you found yourself facing Johnny instead.

"I'll come with you. I've always been curious as to how your workspace looked like."

You raised a quizzical eyebrow at him but said nothing otherwise. He knew how your office looked like, he just wanted to follow you to make sure you didn't stay to work. Walking away first, he trailed after you like a faithful puppy. When people first saw the both of you walk in, a look of bewilderment washed over their faces before they finally regained their senses to greet the both of you. You walked on, trying to ignore the weird stares people were throwing at the both of you. This sort of attention made you squirm inside. Slowly people filed out at different levels, leaving only Johnny and you alone in the compartment for the last 10 floors. The tension hanging in the air was apparent, but you felt more relaxed without people boring holes into your back. The elevator came to a gentle stop, before the clear metal door slid open.

When Taeyong first saw you, his face broke out into a small smile but it quickly turned into a scowl when he noticed the tall figure of Johnny behind you.

"What's he doing here Lydia"

"Insisted on coming along with me, but it's fine. He won't do anything."

"He better not. Eh, what happened to your wrist?" He pointed to your wrist and you mentally cursed at yourself in your head for not covering it up. It had completely slipped your mind.

"I burnt it by accident when I was cooking. Nothing serious and I need the folder back, the one that I gave you a few days ago."

"Ah right. Here you go; what's inside though?"

He passed you the folder and it looked the same as when you had left it with him. You silently breathed a sigh of relief as Taeyong began to speak again.

"There's some papers on your table and if you'd like, you can look through them.  I thought I'll say it first before you asked, you're such a workaholic."

"You know me too well Taeyong, I'll take a look at them now."

You walked into your office, leaving Johnny behind and the door slightly ajar. There wasn't much on your table, some documents which you quickly signed and the rest you decided to take with you back home with you. When you lifted your head, the most amusing sight greeted you.

Johnny and Taeyong were actually talking civilly to one another. You knew the

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Comments

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LiebeBlue #1
Finally someone made a story with happy ending mean that the protagonists are not always to be together. I love your work, the way you write and your idea. Thank you for making this story.
Kuro_Wol
#2
Chapter 31: I BINGED. Oh damn wow. This was really good, I can see why you're proud of it. You know how much I love slice of life and the message you're putting across in this could not be more true - our past wounds may heal over time but the scars never fade away. And sometimes we have to come to terms with that, even if it's a painful reality to accept. Really enjoyed this one, Del! Hit me in the feelz
FlareJayna #3
Chapter 31: I absolutely love this story and this is definitely one of the most well written fanfic i have ever read. I do really like the plot twist and the ending. At first i do hope that they would end up together but i guess it just isnt right for lydia to live on with the fear and the doubt she felt. This fanfic really get me thinking about life and i hope you will continue writing such beautiful fanfics.
superdupper
#4
Chapter 31: This is such a beautiful story. Huhuhu I know that Lydia will be happy if she didnt end up with johnny because johnny had hurt her in the past. It's a bit sad to she didnt end up with Johnny but that's their fate . but really this story is written very well author nim. Really love it
Love_jennie
#5
Chapter 31: Absolutely the best fanfic ive ever read! I love the plot twist
marry_kim
#6
Chapter 31: This is amazing
stacy_lu #7
*ill continue here :))
At first, I didn't like the fact that she decided to leave him after the precious time they had in HK. But slowly a thought came to my mind saying it's not right as well for her to be in a relationship where she doesn't feel right. And partially, it's really not fair for him as well to be in a relationship where his love is doubted, when he's obviously giving his all to her. Its funny how my thoughts immediately went to reality, wondering if someone, somewhere out there living a life exactly like this, did they choose to leave like she did? Or stay and break herself more and his heart along the away? I'll never know. But if I was to be her, I'd do the exact same. Because if two souls are meant to be together, they will always find their way back to each other no matter what. If not, you just have to learn to let go. No matter how hard it gets. If not for the other person, do it for yourself. The void in your soul doesn't always has to be filled with someone else's presence. Sometimes the void can only be filled with your own self. Someone wise once said, you can only love someone else fully, if you learn to love yourself first. Thank you for sticking to your original storyline. If it wasn't for the fact that you went along with this ending, I would've sworn, I'd forget that our feelings- what feels right to the heart and soul- matters the most if happiness is what you seek for in this often mistaken world.
stacy_lu #8
Hai author-nim.
First of all I want to applaud your awesome writing. The way you write your story was really different from the fanfics that are available these days. It almost felt like I was back in my teenage days where I was awake in the middle of the night in my bedroom reading fics that would make me feel like someone was gripping my heart so tight, almost breaking it to pieces. And i didn't mind it at all. These type of fics were always my fav. It's was really an eyeopener and to be honest, just what this tired soul of mine longs for. I'm really glad I found Smudge. I haven't read something that made me look back in life for quite awhile now. Your story made me think alot.
prism7ths #9
Chapter 31: thank you for writing such a great rollercoaster ride of emotions story >< i really love it, all the sweet angsty vibes in the story. hopefully there are more amazing stories to come in the future ^^ have a great year ahead author nim, may God bless you. xo
babychanwoo
#10
Chapter 31: OMG THIS STORY IS SO GOOD AND U BROKE MY HEART BUT IT'S OKEY,I LOVE U i mean i love how u make my kokoro break HEHEHE<3.i hope u planning for a new jhonny story:)