Staying at Luhan’s house and lying in Luhan’s bed, didn’t help. You couldn’t sleep and you didn’t know exactly what you were trying to do. And you kept thinking of it. It seemed nothing could help you to stop thinking about sehun. That stupid brother was going to be the death of you. no matter how hard you tried.

The guilt sunk in, and an image of how, sehun looked at you before you left him in the house by himself. The look on his face haunting you. You pulled the covers above your head trying to not think about it. You curled up in a ball trying to ignore the pain in your stomach from all the stress and the worrying.

As always it hit you, when you couldn’t stop thinking about him you started to cry about it, about him. You hated the monster you had become because of him, you hated treating him the way you did. But it was the only way you knew how to cope with your feelings for him.

You tried to sob silently because Luhan was on the floor next to you. You didn’t want to him to ask questions or find out that something was bothering you. You knew Luhan would pester you until you let it all out or until he thought he fixed the problem for you. But you knew that this wouldn’t be fixed. Luhan couldn’t fix this one.

Your cries had subsided and you felt like you could fall asleep. You pulled the blanket over your face and turned to your side so you could look down at Luhan.  Luhan he was so handsome, the moonlight shinning in the room appeared on his face making him look graceful. He was so perfect. Almost as perfect as him. Your brother. Oh Sehun.

His light snores filled the room and you tried to concentrate on sleeping. And when you finally did sehun filled your head. You unwilling dreaming of him.

Luhan woke up. He woke up because the floor was so hard. He hated these wooden floors. He looked up at your sleeping body he so badly wanted to join you but he refused and went back to sleep. Luhan woke up. Again. That floor was just about ready to kill him. He looked up at his bed. Then he looked up at you. Feeling guilty, he found his way right beside you distancing himself as much as possible. He got under the covers, your back was facing him,  and noticed that the long shirt you had worn was raised up showing you pretty little . Leaving no imagination to the brain you had a tiny little G-string in-between your two round but cheeks.

Luhan instantly blushed and he felt himself get instantly hard. . He thought. He quickly shoved the covers down quickly, ripping his eyes away from your , and tried to sleep. But again, he couldn’t. but this time for obvious different reasons.

desperate times call for different measures. Literally.

(a/n meaning: In adverse circumstances actions that might have been rejected under other circumstances may become the best choice.)

He didn’t know how long time passed, but you suddenly cuddled up next to him throwing your leg over his body. Luhan sat as still as possible trying to calm both heads. He wondered if your subconscious could feel how hard he was underneath your thigh.

You kept mumbling incoherent words and Luhan heart started beating fast. He was all wrapped in your arms and you had no pants underneath that shirt of yours, no bra on either. Just a thin piece of fabric creating a barrier between his chest and yours. He hardened at the thought. He was a gentleman but he was a man. He couldn’t help the thoughts he was having now.

He took his hand and regretted it instantly when your bottom came into contact with his hand so firm and so smooth. His twitching little. He moaned at the touch.

At this moment Luhan lost all control. All because of that stupid shirt you wore you turned him into an animal. He started rubbing your in circles and then, as he went lower he found your opening, you were wet, wet but you weren’t dry. He slipped a finger in you and you on the other hand was dreaming of . But not with him, with it.

(A/N everything that happens in the dream with sehun is happening in real life with Luhan.}

You were laying on top of sehun, you had falling asleep in his bed. He started rubbing your bottom and you instantly felt wet just by that. You pretend you were asleep while he explored your body.it gave you more of a thrill. when he found his finger inside you, you tried not to moan so you wouldn’t give yourself away. The covers were thrown off you and you felt the hemp of your long shirt exposing your lower back all the way down.

Sehun’s   breath caught in is throat at the sight of your beautiful , something he has been wanting to see for quite some time now. He rubbed it some more and you could feel the hardness. He positioned you so both your s were in contact between your cloths, he started ing you as he your hole. Him breathing heavy.

His lips crashed to your neck and you felt it was time to wake up and give up the act. Only when you did you were face with Luhan, not sehun.

You woke up, opened your eyes and the scene fell before you. It all came to you instantly, everything that happened really happened. Except, it was with Luhan and not sehun. your long legs wrapped around him as well as your hands. Luhan looked at you with concern probably because he didn’t know how you would react, but you wouldn’t. You didn’t want to, you were forcing yourself to him remember? This had to be done.

Luhan was ready to the out of you. And he was scared he didn’t want to ruin anything you guys had. But the heat of the moment was now or never.

Smiling at Luhan you just grabbed him tighter. And put your head in the crook of his neck. Luhan took it upon himself to grab you closer and that’s when you felt it. He was hard for you. Every time he looked at you or you looked at him he reminded you of sehun, and you really hated yourself because forcing your self was too easy. Kris would be a better bet. He looked nothing like sehun.  And it scared you to try to throw yourself too him. Because of his reputation.

You looked into sehun ….no……Luhan’s eyes and felt a certain wave of excitement. This made you fell hot and bothered and you wanted more. You felt the need to take out all your frustration out on your best friend.

You moved a little laying on your side still intertwined with him. You pushed out your chest the outline of your showing, it giving little imagination to the mind as your s were hardening under that thin fabric. He took it upon himself to feel all over you pulling your shirt up and over your head. Luhan’s eyes glazed over, and he moaned. He really wanted you. And he hoped you would give yourself to him. The lust in his eyes made you want to him more.

You kissed him. He was shocked at first but then he grabbed you even tighter igniting the kiss passionately. You closed your eyes and let it ride. While Luhan found your in his mouth. Both his hands were on your but cheeks while he kissed you, making out with your chest passsionatly. You had the mind set whatever happens, happens. You just wanted to ride your body and soul of the that curse.

Luhan had pulled you on top of him and grinned his man hood against your womanhood. Your big chest displayed on your small frame, and you moaned out. He had his hand glued , cupping your bottom and squeezing it. It felt wrong to say that you could easily pretend this was Sehun because the uncanny resemblance of the two boys.

But that wasn’t the point here. the point was to give yourself a way to anyone that could help you to get rid of your sehun feelings. Even if that meant being a , and sleeping around. You would rather be a than be into your brother. Which was sad but it was the truth.

And then it hit you. Even after all this. Guilt dragged you down into a ditch, killing you leaving you there to slowly die. So much for the high. This was why you couldn’t be normal, sehun ruin everything and anything you had for yourself.

Guilt was your epiphany of destruction and the sad part was it hung over you like the depression you had that sat on your shoulders and the most saddest part was you didn’t care you just wanted to ride Sehun Luhan all night.

Luhan had turned you over so that you were on bottom now. He trailed kisses down to your neck but when he kissed you cheeks they were wet. When did you start crying? You were crying now. You couldn’t believe how disgusting and selfish you were for using him. Luhan didn't deserve that. He didn’t deserve to be in the middle of this. You cared to much about him for him to be in the crossfire of your uphill battle.

Luhan looked at you and he gave you a concerned face.

 He cared deeply about you and you were treating him like a piece of . You didn't deserve to never love and you were ashamed of your actions.

"Ana Gwen cha na? If you’re not comfortable to going further I understand. I don’t want to hurt or pressure you. I'm sorry I lost control, I just didn't think you would kiss me like that." He said feeling guilty.  But the only person who should feel guilt was you it was your fault anyways.

'I'm sorry Luhan, I'm sooo sorry." You cried. You wanted to tell the truth you wanted to let him know why what was really going on. Luhan was any easy person to talk to but would he be so easy to accept the feelings you had inside for your brother. Was he going to be easy on you when you tell him you were thinking about your brother the whole time he kissed and touched you? Or that if you had you could instantly pretend he was him. No,  didn't think so and you didn't want to prove yourself right so you said. "To be honest I can't get over this guy that's all, please be gentle with me. " and that was the truth it wasn't a complete lie. You were going to get over sehun and then you would love Luhan in the way he was support to be loved.

***

Luhan and you, had forgotten all about the incident from last night and everything went back to normal. Kind of. He took you to school in his car and you saw sehun walking to school. Sehun happened to look up, and he seen you with Luhan. When you looked in the Review on the passenger side he had stooped to stare at Luhan’s car. Disappearing as you turned the street from which your guy’s school was on.

Sehun started boiling up inside. Why were you with Luhan? Was it all night to? Didn’t you stay a girl friend’s house? Why his house, the one he couldn’t stand the most? He continued to look after where the car you were just in disappeared around the corner. He sighed and then he found himself, walking again.

Luhan had parked the car and he turned to look at you he looked a little uncomfortable and you knew he was going to talk about last night." I'm here for you and I don't want to cause you to cry lik