Things were stranger than usual since that kiss. Neither of us didn’t know what to say. And I definitely didn’t know why to say.  Why did I just let her kiss me like that? Why did I kiss back? Did I like my sis..ter? Andwae! No way! That’s sick! I can’t think like that! But why did I feel like I put the last piece to a jigsaw puzzle together? Everything was so difficult to think about it gave me a headache. Why did this happen? What – how was she feeling? What did she think of when I kissed her back? Was she disgusted? Was I disgusted?

I hate questions.

There she was sleeping in her chair watching over me. She had told me mom and dad were on their way to come see me. Which I wasn’t happy about. I was embarrassed by my actions. I didn’t think it would go as far as to being in the hospital. I Just wanted A little more numbing to ease the pain. I don’t remember wanting to commit suicide, but then again I don’t remember that much after I got drunk and took the pills. So Maybe I did mean to kill myself. Only God knows. Because god knows I wasn’t in my right mind.

I looked at my sister. She was so…so….perfect. She was so beautiful it hurt. But why did it hurt? When I thought of questions like this, my mind went Completely blank. Like there was something I was about to find out, but still couldn’t quite put my finger on it. I mean I kind of had the idea but I didn’t want to admit it.

Anyways other than that I didn’t know how to act around her now after that…. I can’t even say it. Ugh. What am going to do? I feel weird. Very weird. I glance over her I’m feeling something I don’t want to admit. What is this exactly? Someone help me.

Heaven forbid and forgive me for my sins. I pray that this doesn’t get out of hand and even worse Complicated. Sehun is my brother and it should stay that way. But when he kissed me back it had gave me false hope. Hope for us. But we all know how much of a fairy-tale that could be. Reality was and reality is always what we try to avoid. And that why there is a saying “please come back to reality.” Because chances are that person is delusional and trying to run from it. Just like I.

BONUS CONTENT BELOW

“So just get out.” He said. “You hesitated, but you got up to grant his wish. "Also move out, do something, I don’t want you at home.” You froze in place. Really? This was how it was going to be, really? You turned around to give that bastard a piece of your mind. At that point, you didn’t care if he was sick in the hospital.

“I don’t?!” You yelled.

He looked shocked at your sudden outburst. And you could tell that he didn’t expect for this to happen. You were now as close as possible to the edge of the hospital bed in his face.

 "I care Sehun.“ You sternly said.

He looked at you with an annoyed face. He stared you down and when he realized you weren’t going to back down he said. "Really? Then prove it.” He hadn’t known why he said it in that context but he did. It was just spur of the moment.

At this point, this was a now or never moment. You had No time to think and everyone knows what happens when you don’t think. You react. And at that moment your reaction to his statement was…a kiss. 

You kissed him so hard and passionately that Sehun didn’t know how to respond. But when he did. He didn’t push you away, Instead, he grabbed you closer and he shoved his tongue in your mouth. It went on for At least a minute until you realised how out of hand you had gotten.

You covered your mouth with your hand. “Sehun, I’m sorry I didn’t..” he had a shocked look on his face as well. He was just as surprised as you were. You started to tear up. You felt so guilty never in a million years was you supposed to let your feelings out like that and initiate a kiss.

None of you was drunk or high as a kite. Matter of fact you both were down on earth, both feet on the ground. So every feeling in that kiss was real. What was this? Did Sehun really truly speak his feelings last night. When you thought it was because he was high. Was it really that the truth had come out? Were you standing there and him sitting there in that bed, both of you staring at another shocked a result of the fact of the matter? What did matter? Other than your secret had may HAVE been reviled because of that stupid decision you just made. WHY DID YOU DO THAT?

“Ana, what was that?” He whispered. Still shocked. “I…” you didn’t know what to say….what should you say in a situation like this? “Ana, why did this just happened?” You looked at him your eyes teared up. You tried to speak but it would come out. Sehun. StaIred at you. “Sehun I’m sorry I didn’t mean for.” He cut you off. “Ana did we really just kiss?” He said in disbelief. He was taking it kind of hard. He never thought he would enjoy that, or even think time enjoy that with his sister. 

The truth was he was in denial about you. “Sehun I have to confess this before I never do.” You started shaking very violently. He looked at you as if he already knew what you were to say. “Something is wrong with me absolutely WRONG WITH ME ..don’t know why or how or when it started it just happened.” You said trying to look at Sehun through your tears but he was blurry to many tears was in the way. “And so I became distant. Because I thought it would be best if I went away, I didn’t want to involve you in my problems. I thought that-”

“Ana what are you trying to say?!” Sehun became frustrated. You looked at him wiping your tears so you could see him clearly. “Sehun I love you.” You said. He paused and his eyebrows knitted together.

(a/n: shawty gonna part to the sun down XD)

“Ana I love you too, you’re my s- ”

“No Sehun like love. I’m IN love with you,” you stated. 

Sehun face was something you could never forget even if you tried the way he looked at you when he finally realized what was really up -was unexplainable. He seemed slightly disgusted with you but his face changed rapidly to hide it.

It scared you as he looked at you with his mouth open in utter disbelief. He didn’t understand how this could have happened. And why it was. He completely forgot he kissed you back moments before. But the news from this had blown that out the water.

“Sehun, I’m so sorry, I never meant to tell you. It was support to be a secret. This was my burden, not yours.” And you just kept going on and on as Sehun looked at you diffe