Junsu's POV

Did all of that really happen? Did the love of my life just say that? Did she just ask for a breakup?'
I wandered the streets of Seoul with a can of beer in my hands. I could hear people whispering and pointing towards me but i didn't care. My life was a mess. I looked at my watch, 2:30am. I wonder if she's at home. Or maybe she in the comfort of that man's arms. I can't hold it in anymore. Tears were streaming down my face. Why did she do that to me? Does she not love me anymore? Were the times we spent together just empty memories to her? Did i not mean anything to her? All those times when she said 'I love you', were they all lies? Why is all of this happening to me? Why?

*

'I wonder if she's inside,' i thought to myself as i stood outside the door of my house. I punched in the code and the door opened automatically. The house was quiet. As if it were empty for thousands of years. Where was she? Did she even come back? I made my way to our, no, my bedroom. It was empty as well. I opened the closet and none of her clothes were there. She really left.

I dropped to my knees. She didn't even say goodbye.

"What was it that i had done wrongly? Did i say something wrong? I can change it all. Just please, come back to me. I can't live without you baby. Please, just come back. Don't leave me alone," i said to the empty room. I laid on our bed, no, my bed, thinking of our past. The first time we met. I felt my eyelids become heavier and soon i drifted off to sleep.

*

I woke up to the sound of birds chirping outside the window. I stretched my arm over to the other side of the bed, only to feel bedsheets. I forgot she wasn't there anymore. It became a daily routine for me to hug her whenever i wake up. But now, everything has changed. No more morning hugs. No more morning kisses.

I took a look of the room. Everything here reminded me of her. I had to get use to her not being here anymore.

I won't be sad anymore. I won't question myself anymore. I won't cry over her anymore. I'm Kim Junsu. I'm more than that. I'll make her pay. Make her pay for leaving me, for leaving us. I'll make her regret everything she did.


Your POV

Day one without Junsu. It wasn't as bad as i had expected. Today i'll be going to the hospital. I made a deal with my doctor, Changmin, and i should keep to it. I'm scared. I'm very scared. I'm scared of forgetting the people i love. I don't want to forget Tiffany, Uncle InHwan, Aunty Kyung Eun, and.....Junsu. I definitely don't want to forget Junsu. I'm scared.

The hospital that i'm going to isn't located in Seoul. Its somewhere in the rural areas of Korea. I chose to receive treatment at that hospital to lessen the chance of me bumping into Junsu in Seoul. It's better that way. I don't want Junsu to see me like this, all sickly and pale. He deserves better. He deserves someone better than me. It's only right that i let him go, i shouldn't burden him with my illness.

Changmin's going to pick me up soon. Yes, we're that close now. He's the only one i can count on now. I told Tiffany and told her not to worry, I lied to her saying i was going abroad for some time. I couldn't let her worry about me too.

The drive to the hospital took 2 hours. The place was small but comfortable. Little kids were running about. Isn't it easy being kids? You don't have to worry about anything. As soon as i walked in everyone stopped what they were doing and fixed their eyes on me.

"A..Annyeonghaseyo," i said as i bowed before continuing, "My name is                 ."

One of them, i presumed a doctor came up to me and took my hands into his, "I've heard about you. My colleague Changmin talked non-stop about you and how interesting your case was."

"He has...?" i said while looking at Changmin. All i got in return was a smirk from him.

"Now, if you don't mind, i'll bring you to our room that you'll be using during your treatment here."

*

The room was all white, including the furniture. It somehow reminded me of the room i used to stay in at Junsu's house. I could only smile at that thought. A nurse walked in and gave me a set of the hospital's clothes. It looked tacky, but who was i to complain. I'm here to get better, not to critic the clothes. Soon after the nurse told me i was going to receive my first round of treatment. My palms suddenly got sweaty. I was afraid of the pain. I was afraid of the needles. I didn't want to go through that kind of pain.

The nurse escorted me to a room but told me to wait outside for the doctor. 'RADIATION' was what was written on the door.

"I'm sorry for being late, Miss               , i was caught up with my other patients. Now, if you're ready, lets begin your treatment," he said as he opened the door.

The room was full of big machines. The was a recliner in the corner and the doctor told me to lie down. I couldn't stop being nervous. 'How i wish Junsu was here to help me go through this. No! Stop, you chose to leave him so stop thinking about him!'

"Ermm...Doctor? May i know where Changmin, i mean Doctor Shim is? Isn't he in charge of my case? Why are you here instead of him?" i asked the doctor while he got ready to start my treatment.

"Oh, Doctor Shim? He's now in the operating theater. He'll be here tomorrow onwards. He personally told me to take good care of you. Okay now, are you ready? This might hurt a bit, but it'll be okay afterwards. Just to remind you, you might face nausea or headaches during the course of this treatment. If you feel uncomfortable, please do let our nurses know."

Before i knew it, i felt a sharp prick in my arm. I shut my eyes tightly as i waited for the pain to subside. But the pain never went away. I felt tears escape my eyes. I wanted this to stop. I can't believe i have to withstand more of this treatment for the next couple of years. I shifted my eyes away from my arm to the window next to me. There were litlle children playing in the garden. They looked so happy. I wonder, do they even know they're sick? I visioned myself having kids as cheerful as them. I always hoped that one day me and Junsu would get married and have kids of our own. Looks like that will never happen now. The pain seemed to lessen whenever i thought of Junsu. I took a short nap because i had nothing else to do.

When i woke up i felt something around my hands. I brought my hands closer to my eyes and saw that there were mittens around them. I felt so cold. I looked up at the clock on the wall, its been 2 hours. The door flung opened and Changmin was standing there with his hands in his pockets.

"When will i be done with this?" i asked him as i pointed to the needles in my arm.

"Actually, you're already done. I was waiting for you to wake up from your deep slumber," he said sarcastically.

"I don't think doctors are supposed to behave like you," i replied.

"Well, i'm not only your doctor, i'm also your friend. Remember? We also kissed."

"WE DID NOT!" i said while slapping his arm.

"Okay, okay, come get up. I'll bring you back to your room."

"I don't need your help Doctor."

I pushed the blanket off my body and tried to stand up, only to feel dizzy.

"You okay?" Changmin asked, "I bet my colleague didn't warn you of the dizzy spells you get after treatment. I'll be nice to you this time round. Hop on."

I didn't catch what he was saying at first but when he bend his knees forward and reached out his arm, i got what he meant. He offered to piggyback me.

"Its okay Changmin. I can walk on my own." I said while trying to avoid his gaze.

Suddenly he pulled me on his back and started walking towards my ward. I was too shocked to even say anything. The nurses were giggling at us. I bowed my head in embarrassment.

"Changmin ah, you can put me down now. Everyone is looking at us." i tried to convince him.

"You don't have to feel embarrassed or anything. Everyone here is as close as family. Some of the kids here have been patients here ever since they were born. Their parents come to visit them everyday, without fail. They're kids, but they have hearts of lions. They're so brave. Thats why i chose to work here and not at the hospital back in Seoul."

Suddenly i felt like a coward, those kids were even braver than me. I should reflect upon myself. Before i knew it, we reached my ward. Changmin placed me down onto my bed and took a seat on the chair beside my bed.

"I hope you won't give up on yourself. I know its difficult to go through this alone. But now worries, i'll be here. You'll live, i'm sure of that. Science and technology is so advanced now. And just in case you've forgotten, your operation to remove the tumour is schedules for next week. So be prepared okay? Rest well."

I watched as Changmin walked out of my room. Operation? Its really coming, isn't it?



*


Its been 2 years and 6 months since i've been here. Yes, i survived the operation. There's still a scar on the side of my head, but its been covered by my hair. Hair? Yes, i have hair. Although the chemotherapy stole my hair, most of it has grown back. You can say that i'm cancer-free now. But, there's still a possibility of the cancer returning. Lets hope that won't happen shall we?

Another 6 months here and i'll be able to leave this god forbidden place. Don't get me wrong, i love this place, but the smell of medicine just puts me off everytime. There were times when i felt like running away from this place, from the pain. But Changmin was always there to stop me. He became my close friend instead of my doctor. He was always there to hold my hand whenever the pain became unbearable. I didn't know what i would do if he weren't here.

I made many friends with the nurses and doctors here. They were all friendly, and they patiently put up with my occasional tempers. I bet they were god-sent from heaven. How could anyone be so patient?

Anyways, I've heard that some celebrities are going to be in town for some volunteering activity today. They're going to be at the nearby elementary school. Changmin suggested that we go there as well to help with the volunteering activity. He's the boss of me now, so i agreed, He was in charge of what i could and couldn't eat. He said it was for my own good. Basically saying, during my time here, he controlled me, but in a good way.

I took my pills that the nurse left for me and swallowed them. 6 more months of eating these disgusting pills and i'll be free. Free as a bird.

I grabbed my coat and waited at the lobby for Changmin. He told me he'll be 10 minutes late. His patients mean more than his life. I haven't been out the hospital for some time now. Changmin said it was too dangerous for someone with my condition to be running around. He keeps treating me like a kid. I'm 24 years old for goodness sake.

"Mian, i'm late. Lets go?" i looked up and saw Changmin panting, trying to catch his breath. He extended out his hand but i slapped it away. I don't want the others to get the wrong idea of us.

"Lets go then."

The walk to the school was short yet tiring. The school was located on top a hill. I was lucky i didn't die from fatigue. I've never been to this part of the town. Soon i heard the screams and shouting of children. I smiled at the sight. They were so carefree.  Changmin and I walked up to the headmaster
and he told us what was to be done. There was a list of things to be done. We scanned through the list and almost every activity Changmin said it was too dangerous for me to do. In the end we decided to do the cooking. We were to cook for the students and the volunteers.

"Cooking? I can do that? I'm a master at that," Changmin boasted.

We made our way to the kitchen in the cafeteria. The ingredients were all there.

"So...what are we going to cook?" i asked Changmin.

"How would i know?" he retorted.

"Didn't you say you'rean expert at this?"

"Correction, i'm an expert at eating, not cooking. I lied to the headmaster to make myself look good."

"Great, now what are we going to do? We have to cook for a hundred people. Forget it, i'll just whip up something simple."

*

Thank god the students and the volunteers enjoyed the food i made. Changmin practically devoured his food in seconds. The headmaster even praised my cooking ability. He wanted to introduce me and Changmin to some other volunteers. I didn't reject him, making a few more friends wouldn't kill right? He directed us to the garden where a group of men were sitting down. One of them especially caught my attention. He looked so familiar but i couldn't put my finger to who he was. His tear-shaped eyes, his cute nose and lips. He looked exactly like....like....Junsu.

-END OF CHAPTER-

Boring chapter, i know. I'm trying not to put in so many fast forwarded moments, so bear with me okay? The cliffhanger was lame, yes i know. Another chapter coming up soon after this!! Comment and subscribe please!~~~~