this is 70% on-the-spot update so i didn't reread this or recheck, i just thought i only have today to update so it was a rush.

i hope this is readable.

3k

When Sana was sixteen, she brought a boy-space-friend to her room to study. Her father was suspicious so instead of knocking on the door, he knocked off the door. Her room didn’t have a door for half a year. When she had her first boyfriend, her father went to get a gun license.

That’s how extra her father is. And the cause was only the tip of the iceberg.

She doesn’t know how he will handle her being pregnant with a guy that is not even her boyfriend. She’s not ually active, but that could easily imply she’s sleeping around.

Mingyu is driving and he’s been quiet the whole time she’s telling him stories. Knowing Mingyu, he will ramble when he’s nervous, but Sana thinks he’s way beyond nervous that his tongue is sticking on the roof of his mouth.

“Are you sure you’re still coming with me?” She asks. He nods.

“Do you have other plans?” She asks. He shakes his head.

“. . . do you want to back out?” She asks.

Then only he speaks, “I won’t.”

She exhales. She looks up to the road. They are getting closer. “Turn right. And just go straight until you see a huge Mcdonalds sign.”

After following her direction, the drive turns quiet again. The silence is cold. She realizes her hands are shaking. When she clasps them together, they are almost icy.

Without looking at her, he reaches over and grabs one of her hand. He’s cold too.

“We’ll get through this, okay?” He gives her a small smile and rubs his thumb over her knuckles.

It isn’t much of a gesture, but Sana feels like a huge burden lifted off her shoulders. It’s really nice to have supports, even if it means she has to go against her father. She puts her other hand on top of his, clasping it in both of hers. “Mingyu,” she says, staring at their hands. “What if you don’t like his reaction? What if you will decide if it’s—this—is too much?”

“I may not like it, but I will understand him. I’m going to be a father as well. Who’s to say I won’t react the same? And I told you, I will not run. I’m not letting my child know even the gist of what it feels like without a father. No way.”

Sana knows now, Mingyu is a decent guy. All these times, she only saw the surface—which she didn’t like—and it was really an unfair judgment, since it’s not like she was decent to him as well. But even so, a longtime despise makes it hard to trust. She still doesn’t want to rely on him, she is still waiting for him to run to other direction, and she’s still wondering if he really is doing this for their baby, or it’s only his ego to not be what he cursed his father to be.

He pulls back his hand. Sana doesn’t notice they’ve been in contact for too long for it to be uncomfortable.

Sana clears , twirling her fingers awkwardly. “There’s a traffic light after the McD. Turn left.”

He turns left. “You know what?” He speaks after a minute. “In order to stay calm, I’m just going to safely assume he’s not going to kill me in his own house.”

Sana doesn’t say anything. Not because she agrees, but there’s a U-turn in the front and she doesn’t want to risk what telling him that her father really has a gun would do. He also has cats. Cats are liable at being mean. And they all watch zombie . . .

She sighs. They have to do this, whatever it entails. Right now, she has to put aside everything because she only has one thing to protect, and that is Bean.

As Mingyu turns off the engine, they both watch through the windshield as her father looks up from his bushes of plants. He stands up and she hears Mingyu’s little gasp. Because her father is holding a shovel.

“He’s . . . um, he’s a good guy, isn’t he?”

Sana nods. Mingyu nods too. He takes a long breath and says, “then we’re going to be okay.”

Sana pep-talks herself for exactly one second before walking out.

“Hey, dad.”

“I told you not to come home.”

She walks to him. “I told you I’m coming home. How’s your leg?” Sana looks down to where his left foot is thickly bandaged.

“It’s good. What is that?” He asks, pointing at Mingyu, who’s walking towards them and looks like he’s about to himself.

Sana sighs. She tugs Mingyu besides her, not caring that his dad is squinting at where they are touching. “Dad, this is Kim Mingyu. Mingyu, this is my dad.”

“Hello, sir.” Mingyu gives out a hand—which is shaking—and her father stares at his own hand—which is dirty—before taking Mingyu’s hand. When he releases his hold, Mingyu stares at his shaking and dirty hand.

“That’s not very nice, dad,” Sana scolds.

He shrugs. “I was being thoughtful.” He looks nothing but.

Silence is deafening for about ten seconds. Sana may not be emotionally-built for this, but she’s the middle person, so she takes the lead. “Can we go inside now?”

“He’s coming along?”

“I’m not staying, Sir. I just, um . . . we have something to tell you.”

Sana looks up at Mingyu. She knows well how scared he is, but somehow, he’s able to gather himself, trying to look calm and composed.

Her father raises a questioning brow. “It’s safer and quicker to tell me here while your car is close by, boy. Are you dating my daughter?” They both make a face. Her father’s eyebrows are now reaching his hairline. “No?” They both shake their heads. “Then what is it?”

Mingyu looks at his bandaged foot. “You need to sit, though, Sir.”

Her father scoffs. Without anything much to say, he walks to the house.

“Sana, he can walk!” Mingyu shout-whispers.

“He can’t. He’s just trying to prove you wrong.” She knows her father too well. He might be walking now, behind the closed door, the old man would be hissing and stumbling in pain.

“He hates me.”

She starts walking ahead. “He will hate me too, you’ll see.”

They are sitting at the living room, them facing her father. There’s no small talk, no hinting. She figures it’s best to rip the Band-aid quick for less pain, so she just straight-out blurts, “I’m pregnant.”

Now, it’s a cold, dark silence. She holds her eyes at her father, bracing herself for what’s to come. The man looks tensed, even from two feet away. His veins popping, from his forehead, his neck, down to his huge arms. His face is red and Sana holds her breath. “You what?” He asks in a tone he never used at her.

Her eyes sting, her bottom lip quiver. She can’t help it. She’s basically watching the very exact moment she ends up disappointing her father, the only person she has in this whole world. Not a million of apologies could right this, she knows.

Mingyu starts speaking in a speed. “Blame it on me, Sir. I’m the father. We didn’t mean to. We were being careless and—“

“What the hell?!” Her father roars. In a split second, he’s crossing the table and has Mingyu by his collar. “You—“ He’s close to strangle him now.

“Dad, please—“

And his fist flies, right on Mingyu’s jaw, sending him sliding backward to the floor.

“Oh no!” Sana sees red. It’s very quick, but she’s not thinking. The only thing she manages to see is her father raises another fist and his target is Mingyu’s ribs. She grabs his arm, begging him to stop, at the same time his arm pulls back. His elbow hit her square at her shoulder, knocking her to the floor.

It’s silence again, only for two seconds before the guys hover over her.

“Oh my god, Sana. What the—What the are you thinking?” Mingyu takes her into his arms.

Her shoulder feels like breaking. She closes her eyes, waiting for the pain to dissipate. She doesn’t feel good, but at least it’s not her stomach, and at least it’s not Mingyu’s rib.

“Sana, I didn’t mean—, what the hell were you doing jumping in?!” Her father grabs her and she’s in the air before she’s lying down on the sofa. She scrunches her face, shutting her eyes close. , her father really can hit. She shortly wonders if Mingyu’s jaw is still intact.

“What if it’s your stomach?!” It’s Mingyu talking.

“Move away from my daughter, .”

“You did this, Sir. You did this.”

“You knocked her up!”

“You hit her!”

“I didn’t mean to!”

“I didn’t mean to, too!”

Her father groans as he stands, glaring at nothing in distance, jaw is clenching tight. He looks so close to flung all the furniture in the house, except that he’s still a little incapable. “This—“ he growls out the word. “This is why I don’t want you to ever get pregnant. This—“ He breaks, Sana sees it. “I can’t lose you too.”

“You will not lose me, dad.” She cries in pain, both emotionally and physically. “I promise.”

He walks weakly to the kitchen with two ice bags. He hands one to Mingyu, despite his anger. Sana sits up and her father presses it on her. She takes the bag from Mingyu and presses it to his jaw. He shakes his head and takes it away from her, attending himself.

They are messed up, she thinks. One with sprained ankle, one with bruised shoulder, one with swelling jaw.

“You okay?” Mingyu asks.

“Go home.” Her father speaks without looking at him. “Before I kill you.”

Sana sighs. “Dad, I’m sorry. I know you’re mad, you have every right to. But can you not use fist? Mingyu stays. I didn’t want him to and he didn’t have to. But he decided to be responsible instead. I don’t expect you to be nice to him, or me, given our situation. But can you at least . . . not kill him?”

Her father presses the ice harder.

“And it wasn’t him. It’s me.” She breaks into tears again. “I’m so sorry, dad.”

Nobody speaks. That’s how it stays until her father can’t hold in his fumes again and he walks away to his room and slams the door shut.

“Dad, I’m sorry . . .” She’s been apologizing to a door for about an hour now. She can do it for the whole day if it can thaw her father’s heart a little. “I didn’t mean to. It was really a one time colossal mistake but dad, I refuse to call my baby a mistake anymore so I really hope you can accept this and . . .  not hate me. Or my baby. I’m really sorry, dad.”

One of his cat, the orange-furred one, his name is Cat (all his cats named Cat), is staring at her, and then he meows at the door too. He stands on his feet, propping on the door and then scratches eagerly like it’s no one’s business. If Sana is asking for apology, he’s probably asking for an entirely different thing—like food.

Only then, her father opens the door. Totally ignoring her, he picks up the cat and he limps away to the kitchen. Sana follows quickly, because Mingyu is still there.

She didn’t expect she will end up protecting him too. Literally.

Her father ignores Mingyu as well. He fills all the cats’ bowls in silence.

Mingyu asks her softly. “Are you still not hungry? You haven’t eat all day.”

She just shakes her head, her focus is still at her father’s back. “Dad . . . please . . . please forgive me. Talk to me, yell at me, anything.”

“I need time, Sana. Go back to your dorm,” he speaks coldly, still watching his cats.

Mingyu sighs. He rubs on her arm while whispering, “He’s right. You can’t force him to deal with this right away. It’s a lot to take in.”

Sana cries again. She’s so close to kneel down and begs but she figures it’s better to respect her father’s request. It’s the least she can do. She’s been enough of a bad daughter today. So she lets Mingyu walks her away to the door. Before they close the door, Sana could have sworn she hears her father says “And eat!”, but she’s not sure if it’s for her or the cats.

“Baby bird, you need to eat.” Mingyu pushes the plate closer to her. Her burger and fries are still untouched.

Seeing as she’s still unresponsive, he sighs. “It’s the baddest day in the history of bad days, I know, but Sana, the baby . . .”

Of course he only cares about the baby. Sana begrudgingly takes a fry and munch it slowly. Maybe it’s her ruined mood, because suddenly, what’s not supposed to affect her, now affect her badly. She’s not supposed to care if Mingyu only cares about the baby, because for real, that’s why he’s here. He’s here only for the baby. She has no right to be mad for that.

She takes another fry. He smiles, “that’s my baby bird.”

Sana frowns at him. Just a second ago she thought he’s only here for the baby, and now he just called her his. Technically. “Why do you call me that?”

“Because you look like a bird.” He shrugs and starts eating again. In between mouthful, he shrugs again, like he shrugs to whatever conversation he has in his own head. He shrugs a lot when he doesn’t want to answer things, Sana notices. At the end, she shrugs too.

She doesn’t touch the burger, but her fries are almost finished and it is only because eating it makes her stop thinking. She eats more after another while her eyes trail to the outside of the window. She doesn’t know what reminds her of it, but she suddenly gasps. “Oh, bug.”

“What is it?” Mingyu asks.

Her heart sinks as the realization dawns on her. “There's a two-days public holiday next week after weekend.”

“Yes,” he answers matter-of-factly.

“My father is mad at me. That means I can’t go home . . .” She pushes the plate away. The fries have no use to her anymore. Now she has to do another thinking. Where is she going to go? She can’t stay at dorm. The administration notified there will be pipe reconstruction happening by the time the students clear the dorm.

“Go home with me.”

She snaps her head at him. “What?”

“I said go home with me. Maybe it’s time to meet my mother. You have to be reminded that we still have parent’s support.”

She looks down to her plate. Does she have a choice? She can’t go with Nayeon. The girl will go to a trip with her family, there’s no way she wants to tag along. And it’s been a struggle hiding her morning sickness and eating her vitamins without Nayeon questioning. Because let’s be real, Nayeon questions everything. You can’t hide a with that girl. And pregnancy is not an easy to hide.

“Is that okay for you?”

“I wouldn’t ask if it’s not.” His face twitches a little. “But . . .”

Her hope deflates again. Of course there’s a but. “But what?”

“It’s nothing about you, trust me. It’s more about my family.” He shifts a little in his seat. “I live with my grandparents and most of the time, there are kids around. My aunt’s kids whom my gamma voluntarily looks after most days.”

She doesn’t expect that. Mingyu didn’t tell her much about himself, because duh, he couldn’t fight her and told her about his home life at the same time, could he? But all this time, she thought it was only him and his mother. “That sounds . . . fine? I mean, I only have my father and look at what happened.”

“It’s not that. It’s just . . . My grandparents are a bit, I don’t know . . .” he sighs. He shrugs, “you’ll see.”

“Are they going to hate me?”

“I don’t think they are, but the way they acted sometimes make people misunderstood.”

Now she’s just curious. “Why?”

He shrugs, again. “You’ll see.”

Sana picks up her burger. She’s no longer thinking and hating her life, so she can eat now. “I need to start eating healthy,” she says ironically as she takes her first big bite.

“I agree. I bought few boxes of healthy crackers for you. I forgot about it. We’ll pick it up later.”

She munches slower. At that moment, seeing as he says it dismissively like it’s no big deal, like he didn’t think much of it when he bought stuffs for her, it actually melts her heart a little. “That’s so sweet. Thank you.”

He grins at her. She grins at him back. About five seconds, and then they both stop.

“Guh, let’s not make things weird.” She quickly starts eating again.

“I agree.” He sweeps the crumbs on the table. He has finished eating and Sana noticed Mingyu is not the kind of person who is always on the phone over the few meals they shared together, so he seems like he’s out of thing to do. “You’re always right these days, it's strange.”

“I’ve always been right, Mingyu, how can you not realized that?” She fakes a hurt face and a sad sigh.  

“You thought I would agree you’re right back then when you kept calling me an and all sorts of names?”

She laughs. “Fair enough.”

They start grinning at each other again. Mingyu stops first as he frowns at . He grabs a tissue, dabbing it on her. “You eat sloppy. I’m so scared.”

She takes the tissue for herself. “Why would you be scared?”

“How would you feed our baby? What if you keep missing ? And then she'll end up malnourished. ” He looks seriously worried.

“I'm not that incapable. I don’t have to feed her with a spoon until 4 to 6 months old. I will feed her until then, you dip.”

He looks like he wants to say something, but then blushes spread on his cheeks. He looks away.

“Too much information?”

“Yes.”

Sana giggles. “It’s just feed, what the hell. You act like you’ve never seen my s.”

It’s like there’s a cricket sounds somewhere. That’s how awkward the silence is.

She’s the one who blushes this time. She clears , “we’re being weird again.”

“I agree.”

“You’re making it weirder. Stop agreeing with me.”

“I agree.”

They share a few more laughs here and there, and for a very bad day, Sana agrees to herself that she has a good time.

And that's because she has a good company.

a/n when i first published this, i swear to god, i only expected few readers, few subs, because it's a crackship and totally different fandom than what I used to write. So when i got random attention and more addition to readers, hell, 80+ subs is a little too many for a crackship i think, so it feels like a bless. thank you. 

i have the whole vision of what this story is all about, from the start to finish. but this is slow-burn romance, so please bear with me. and i pretty at plotting and staging so we might not get to romance too soon. besides, i actually enjoy building friendship and transitioning the hate to love. 

thank you for reading.

edit: i just changed the semester break to public holidays bcs i just realized these kids don't even study for exam bahaha. but to be fair, back then we used to have a week off before exam, and it's called study week. I always regarded that as a break instead . . .