New and sort-of-new characters : 

    Im Nayeon           Choi Seungcheol         

word vomit. 3k

“I don’t want you to worry,” shouldn’t be said by parents as conversation starters. Because that’s exactly how one would start worrying.

“Oh no, what’s wrong, Dad? Are you okay?” Sana halts on the middle of the stairs up to her room. “What happened?”

“Nothing much and I told you not to worry.” Something rustling at the end of the line and Sana croaks her head as though she can hear him better that way. “One of my boys accidentally knocked me down on the ice, so I kind of have a sprained ankle now.” He laughs. The old man actually laughs. “And blue chin,” he adds.

“WHAT??”

“Goodness, stop freaking out. I broke bones before. This is nothing,” he says boredly. “Wait, where did I put my sandwi—oh here it is.” His chewing sound starts filling the line.

“Dad, how are you going to walk now? And your job needs you to run. And you’re home alone.”

“Bark. My job needs me to bark,” he corrects. “Jeez, Sana, people would think I’m losing a leg with the way you’re overreacting. It’s only mild sprained. I’ll be okay by the end of the week.” Sana sighs and resumes her climb. “Talking bout the end of the week, are you going to be home? Because if you want to, please don’t.”

“Why?”

“You’re home just last weekend. And the one before that.”

“And that’s wrong because?”

“Because you’re twenty. And I’m forty-five.”

She reaches the door to her dorm. She fishes out the keys. “Dad, did you knock your head too?”

“Chin. I knocked my chin. I told you.”

“Oh God, I’m so coming home.”

“Little Tozaki, what I meant is, you’re young. Go live your life a little. And I’m forty-five. I’m not a grandpa for you to take care of . . . yet.” He laughs again. “I’m still young too, you know.”

Sana closes her door and leans on it. Dad, you will be a grandpa soon . . . is at the tip of her tongue but what comes out is, “I’m coming home anyway.”

Sana is watching her printer as it prints page-seven of her assignment when Nayeon walks in.

“Hey, have I seen you today? No, right? I’m so busy. Hi, roomie,” she says as she sets down her things—bag on desk chair, books on desk, jacket on bed.

“Whatever.”

“I’m going out again in fifteen minutes. I’m so busy okay like you can’t believe.”

“Whatever, Nayeon.” And her printing is done. She stacks up the papers and clips them together.

“Wanna come with me? Seungcheol’s band—you know he has a band?—performs tonight at this one bar. Come. If you come with me, I can ditch Jeonghan. When he came with me last time, I couldn’t hear a thing because he can’t stop talking.”

“I thought you don’t like Seungcheol?” Seungcheol is Nayeon’s classmate. Kind of. Nayeon dislikes it when people refer to Seungcheol as her classmate because the dude only attended class twice a week (and being the college’s founder grandchild has its perk so he’s always gotten away with it) so she insists they are not. And Sana snorts—because for someone who’s not interested, Nayeon sure paid a little too much attention to notice things like that.

Nayeon halts in the middle of pulling off her left sock. “I said I don’t like lead singer.”

“Like Seungcheol,” Sana counters.

“I meant in general. They always wear black and ripped tank tops, like are they never cold?”

“Yeah, like Seungcheol.”

Nayeon ignores her. She continues redressing, changing her blouse to a loose shirt and a jacket. “And they are so narcissist and talk about themselves all the time.”

“Yeah, exactly like Seung—wait, I know someone else like that.” Sana stares straight at Nayeon who’s now re-applying her makeup.

Nayeon side-glances her and then she snarls, dabbing the sponge on her cheek with more force. “I do not talk about myself all the time.” Sana laughs. “Are you coming or not? If you come, please start putting on pants.”

“Call Mingyu and order your drink. I’ll go around looking for . . . someone.” Nayeon leaves Sana at the bar stools and Sana frowns.

“Call Mingyu? Why would I do that? And someone who?”

But Nayeon is already lost in the crowd.

“Sana?”

She looks to the guy behind the bar and surprised to see Mingyu. He’s juggling a shaker in his hand. “Mingyu? What are you doing here?”

“What are you doing here?”

“Nayeon asked me to come. Said Seungcheol’s band is performing. You worked here?”

“Yeah.” He’s still frowning. Sana has no idea what his problem is. Not like she comes here to bug him.

“I didn’t know you work here. I let you knocked me up and I didn’t even know what your job is.”

He snorts and the tension eases off his face. “What do you want to drink, baby bird? We have milk variety. And water. Juice too.”

“I really hate you sometimes, Mingyu.” She glares and decides on chocolate milk. With lots of ice.

“Stay away from smokers,” he says before saunters away.

Sana watches as he makes drinks. She really doesn’t know this. Can college student works at bars? Not that she pays attention to college guides and rules, but it doesn’t seem so. But when she sees him talking and smiling to the customers with hands never stop moving, she realizes it doesn’t matter, because he looks like he’s totally in his element.

Look at your daddy, Bean, she mentally connects to her little one. Just look at him.

He comes back with a big glass of chocolate milk. “Here’s your very rare order. It’s on the house.” He winks and after muttering a quick thank, Sana immediately sips on her drink thirstily. She’s been such a slave for ices and anything cold now. “Where’s Nayeon?”

Sana shrugs, still drinking.

His lips purse while looking around and then he sighs. “I’m off shift in another ten minutes, so stay here where I can see you until then, can you?”

“What if I want to pee? I pee a lot now, you know? To the point that most nights, I contemplated to just move in into a toilet. And I’m pretty sure with this big glass of a milk, that’s where I’ll stay in for the entire performance later.”

“Well, you don’t want to pee now right? Not for another ten minutes, I hope. So, stay here and watch your drink.”

Sana scowls at his retreating back. I don’t know who your daddy thinks he is, Bean, but he’s so bossy. If you’re a girl, we can outnumber him and we’ll win.

She smiles giddily to herself. Because that sounds a hell lots of fun.

“He’s pissing me off.”

“Why?” Sana asks Nayeon when they both watches from their stools as Seungcheol belts out the high note. The veins on his neck popping and his face scrunches like he’s in pain.

Sana grimaces because that’s noisy. She’s never really a fan of rock—she thinks it delivers too much noise, and it just occurs to her that noise may affect her pregnancy, but she’s not sure because between classes and assignments, she didn’t really get a chance to really read about it.

“I lost my equilibrium everytime he screams like that. He’s so . . . ugh,” Nayeon growls. Her can of diet coke crackles in her grip.

Sana snickers. That’s the closest of admittance she gets from Nayeon. Not that she doesn’t know. Really, everyone would know Nayeon likes Seungcheol—aggressively. And vice versa. The only two people who don’t know are themselves.

Seungcheol screams again and Sana hisses. Noise. Too much noise. “I gotta go to the restroom,” she says to Nayeon who is still shooting a dagger towards the stage. And when Sana glances at the stage, she realizes Seungcheol is doing the same to Nayeon.

She is sliding off her stool when she hears Seungcheol sings—in a low note, “Someday, my sweet little monster, we’ll stop haunting each other.”

She’s fully intends to just sit on the toilet, but that’s it about public toilet. It’s dirty and meant to be shared. So, she flushes and fixes her skirt. She’s dreading to go back inside again because she’s not really having fun. When she agreed to go out, that’s because she wanted to get her mind off things—her dad and her sin—and while she managed to brush it aside, that’s just it. She’s still not having fun.

And she doesn’t think she will ever have fun again until her dad is okay with her getting him a grandchild five years too early. That might not happen, and her stomach churns everytime she thinks about it, but she figures if she wants him to get use to the idea, be it if he likes it or not, she has to tell him. Soon. Because the longer she keeps the secret, the more it kills her. What hurts more? She tells him now, or him learning it just by seeing her grown belly? The latter is more of a betrayal, she thinks.

When she’s out to the hallway, Mingyu is standing at the side. With a girl. She pauses mid-step and stares as he talks and laughs at something the girl says. She can’t see the girl’s face since she’s backfacing her but she can see the way the girl’s finger creeping up his side and then casually hooks her thumb into the loop of his jeans. He doesn’t move to remove it or touch her back, keeping his arms to himself, but he doesn’t look uncomfortable with it. In fact, he looks like he’s having fun.

A feeling pricks in her heart and Sana doesn’t know what it is.

Not jealousy, she’s sure because she’s not Nayeon. It’s something close to . . . sadness.

It dawns on her, slowly. That—what they do—she can’t do that. Anymore.

See, she’s twenty. By twenty-one, she’ll have a baby in her arms. Sure, not every guy detests a young mother, but who’s to say a guy she likes will be in the decent category? And who’s to say she can commit? And who’s to say the guy she’ll get to know in the future will accept her child? And twenty is the age of dating. She’s in college for god’s sake.

She looks down and in subconscious move, she rubs her tummy. She shakes her head. No, she can’t think of this—her little Bean—as the reason of her fun being taken away from her. It’s a miracle. Her fun will be there, coming along with Bean and it will be explosive kind of fun. It might be late, it might be not when she wants it to be, but it will be there. And by the time it comes, she’ll deserve it.

“Sana,” Mingyu calls. She looks up and Mingyu is disentangling himself from the girl. He whispers something to her, and then she giggles and walks away. He walks to her. “Hey, been looking for you.”

Sana nods. “Sure you are.”

He studies her, and in what she thinks is his subconscious move, he reaches up to hold her face in his hands, bringing her gaze up so he can study her closer. “Hey, are you okay? You look . . .” his brows furrowed, “sad.”

She pulls away from his grasp. “I’m okay.”

He doesn’t look convinced. “Let me send you back to the dorm.”

“Why? Nayeon is still here. I came with her.”

“I know, I told her already. And you don’t want to be near her now.”

“Why?”

“She looks like she’s about to kill whoever breathes the same air as her. When I asked her where you are, she said ‘restroom’ like she has a grunge against all restrooms in the world.”

Despite her plummeting mood, Sana laughs softly.

“And besides, it’s too noisy. So, let’s get out of here.”

He gets it. Sometimes she wonders how he gets her so easily at times. She wonders if it costs him any effort. He’s Kim Mingyu after all. He can’t possibly gets Minatozaki Sana. But then he’s also Kim Mingyu—who gets all girls he could possibly want. He probably masters in How To Get In Girl’s Pants 101. That’s a fact, because that’s how she’s here now.

Twenty and Pregnant.

They both lean on the side of his car at the parking lot of the bar. She refused to go back, because as soon as they were out, she liked it—the faded noise. Besides, the night air is in the right temperature. And there are stars. Many of them.

“Hey,” she says.

“Hey,” he says back. They are both looking up to the sky.

“Do you remember? That night?”

From her peripheral vision, she can see him grinning and Sana wants to beat herself for asking him something she would like to forget. But she’s curious. Just . . . how? Details matter, you know.

“That night?”

“Yeah. I mean . . . what was the turning point? How did we get from wanting to kill each other to . . . you know.” Sana feels herself blushing but there’s no going back.

“Well, I was drunk too but I remember when—“

At that moment, there’s an interrupting noise coming, nearing where there are. When Sana turns her head to the source, it’s actually coming from Nayeon with Seungcheol right behind her. Well, well, well . . .

“I did not swoon! Do I look like I’m swooning? Are you blind? I’m seething. Get over yourself, egomaniac screamer!”

“Um . . .” Mingyu mumbles besides Sana as the two watches the scene unfolds. “Why am I getting a sense of deja vu?”

“Listen to you talking. You get over yourself. Who said the song was for you?”

Sana leans closer to Mingyu. “Man . . . is that how we sounded like before?” Even in the midst of the brooding tension, Sana manages to take 7.5 seconds to get her phone and snaps a picture of the pair. Well, what can she say. Retribution also matters.

“Seems horribly so . . .” Mingyu replies, eyes never move away.

Nayeon snarls. For a moment, she just stands there, glowering at the boy with messy blonde hair. “It wasn’t?”

Seungcheol glares down at her and Sana watches as her bestfriend’s mouth turning pouty and his nostrils flare. He growls, “Damn, you’re ing cute!”

“You too!” Nayeon yells angrily. And they continue glaring at each other.

“ing deja vu,” Mingyu comments.

“Sheep, they sound stupid.” Sana grimaces, feeling such a heavy second-hand embarrassment now.

Mingyu turns to her with his arm rests on the hood of the car. His face looks eerily serious. “Bad news, baby bird. That was pretty much how it happened.”

“Gasp! No way we looked that stupid.”

“We were both drunk, remember?”

And as though the question was the trigger, suddenly everything comes in snaps of memory in her head.

She recalls them fighting about something-nothing. She recalls him looking so good in black. She recalls them yelling over the music.

“Stop yelling! It’s noisy! I hate noise!”

“Then why are you here? Go home!” He yelled.

“Did you just kick me out?”

“Stop being too self-serving, Minatozaki. I would not change the music just because you hate it.”

She glared up at him, standing on the toes of her heels so she could reach as much of his height as she possibly managed to. Because he was glaring down at her, their faces met closer.

“I didn’t want to be here. . .”

“Yeah?”

“. . . but you don’t get to kick me out, you pompous prickly pig.”

“Really?” He squinted and he a breath as he leaned down closer. So close their noses touched. “. You smell so good.”

“And you’re so hot, you. Which one is your room?”

Sana pulls on her hair as she starts recalling the moment as soon as the door closed. “Holy , I would never drink again.”

He lets her having a moment. He turns to see only Seungcheol standing at where he was with Nayeon earlier. “Mate, where’s Nayeon?”

Seungcheol jerks, obviously doesn’t expect an audience. “Well, she bailed, how would I know.” He shrugs stubbornly. “You heard that?”

“Nothing I’ve never heard before. Watch her. Make sure she’s back safely. I’ll take Sana.”

Seungcheol doesn’t reply as Mingyu turns to open the passenger door and practically shoves her inside. Before he walks into his side, he turns back to Seungcheol. “And please make sure the doesn’t break.”

“I’ll be home this weekend,” she starts halfway through the drive. “My dad sprained his ankle.”

“Yeah?” He asks distractedly.

“Yeah. And . . . ugh. I don’t know . . .”

“You want to tell him.” It’s not a question. And Sana sighs, because he gets her again.

“I betrayed him enough. And I can’t lie. How do I see him in the face and lie while doing it? I can’t do that to him. If he finds out himself, if he sees my big belly one day, I’ll be as dead as thumbnail.”

“Doornail, baby bird.”

“Huh?”

“As dead as doornail. That’s how people say it.” They reach the dorm right then. He pulls over and kills the engine, obviously giving time to talk. “You do that. I can come with you. And besides, as much as I could pee my pants when I think about it, your dad really needs to know. He’s your parent, you see.”

“I know that. I just . . . like, how do I do it? He would never hit me, but what if he disowns me?”

“He won’t. You’re the only one he has.”

She looks up at him, studying his expression. He looks somber but calm. “You’re not rambling. You’re not freaking out.”

“You got that, didn’t you?” He chuckles. “Just wait till I’m right in front of his face. I’m serious, Sana, I will pee my pants.”

Sana thinks for a while. If she brings Mingyu home this weekend when his dad can barely walk . . . “I’m so going to hell for this, but let’s do it while he can’t use his legs to chase you.”

His jaw drops. “Sana, you evil thing! Bean, did you hear your mom?” He talks to her stomach. It’s the first time he talks to it. And the first time has to be the time he tries to talk their child to side him. Why does she has a feeling this won’t be the last time?

And why does she feel this outburst of happiness everytime the idea of the future-them crosses her mind?

Bean. It’s all on Bean, she likes to believe.

a/n  damn this hate-to-love and fighting thing is getting so old.

thanks for reading! <3

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