"I'll be back in like an hour or two, yeah?"

Jae gives a nod and watches as Brian walks towards the door but not before flashing him a stunning smile and wink. The author shakes his head although the bright smile on his face contradicts the disapproving action.

"Drive safe!"

"I will!" Brian says, and he's halfway out when he says,

"Love you,"

Saying those words had become a habit ever since Brian had said it first. It had been a couple of weeks already, and Brian went back to working at the cafe while Jae had started writing and planning out storylines again.

Jae looks up from his laptop and replies,

"Love you, too."

They share a few seconds of eye contact and Brian's still not gone,

"God, I just wanna kiss you."

"You'll be late, go!"

"C'mon, a kiss doesn't take long."

"Yours do, now leave." Jae replies, earning an eye-roll from his boyfriend who finally leaves to his plans.

Jinhae had stayed true to his word and had pulled some strings to get Brian an interview of sorts at a music agency. He had left with his guitar case on his back, and a small bag that contained his notebook of songs and lyrics; riffs and melodies.

For about an hour, Jae was watching his favourite crime show, having given up on the plot of his upcoming story for now.

"Called it!" he says out loud once they reveal the killer, and he gives himself a pat on the back, and then wonders if he should really be proud about knowing the killer when most people would consider it a surprise.

Then he hears a knock on the door, and almost instantly goes into defense mode; considering he's watching a crime show. He creeps up silently to the door and looks through the peephole, and lets out a sigh of relief. He opens it with a warm smile,

"Hey, Min!"

"Oh hi Jae," she says and Jae lets her in.

It's been a while since they've seen each other, but it's not awkward as they make their way to the kitchen.

"Have a seat, could I get you anything to eat or drink?"

"I thought Bri was the barista," she teases and gives an accepting nod when Jae's done chuckling and prompts,

"Tea?"

They're catching up with each other, Minri talking about how she's now Eunyi's roommate. Even telling Jae that there's this guy she's been talking to, and Jae taking on a protective brother roll, saying

"He's gotta get approved first."

"That's what Eunyi said! She always glares at him and I feel so bad," Minri whines and that sends them into shared laughter.

"Oh, right! You made me forget why I came here."

"You're telling me it wasn't to hang out with me?" Jae jokes,

"Well, the other reason," she replies with a comforting smile, but the eye-roll that accompanies it makes Jae feign offense.

They laugh it off and Jae collects her cup before putting it in the sink,

"And so, what brings you here?"

"Kinda awkward, but I forgot something while moving out. I don't even know if you guys still have it or if Bri threw it out,"

"What was it?"

"My pastel yellow polaroid?" she says, her uncertainty turning her answer into a question.

Jae thinks for a bit,

"Oh! Wait, yeah we have it,"

"Do you?" her expression brightens and she gets up, following Jae when he goes into the living room and looks up at the shelves. Min sees it and offers,

"I'll get it," 

"You sure?"

"Yeah, I feel like I bothered you. You're still in pyjamas, and I saw the paused show on the TV." she says with a smile.

Jae figures he'll just let her, saying a 

"Be careful," when she gets on the step ladder.

Jae wonders why she came back after all this time for a polaroid camera, why she's eager to get it back. Maybe she just wants some pictures she can keep with the new guy she's talking to, but then again she could've easily gotten a new camera. This one must be special to her then, Jae concludes, and as he's thinking too much, he snaps out of it when he hears a yelp.

Minri had a misstep which caused her to fall backward and Jae's thankful he was standing relatively close, catching her.

They're in a position that's quite compromising, their breaths intermingling and staring into each other's eyes. Jae's about to scold her and say,

"I told you to be careful,"

But they hear the door unlock and neither of them know why they don't pull away and so when Brian walks in, it's a little awkward. They separate and Jae doesn't miss the way Brian's eyes change.

"Min?" he says, and she gives a smile and wave. But before Jae or Minri can say anything Brian says,

"Who the Hell is this?"

Jae wonders what he looks like right now, how it looked when his expectant smile drooped into a heartbroken frown.

"Why the was he holding you like that?"

Minri looks just as confused as Jae,

"What- Bri, what are you saying?"

He walks toward them and grabs fistfuls of Jae's shirt, and Jae is almost scared. Usually when Brian's hands are clutching at his shirt, it's accompanied by glazed eyes and kisses that turn heated after a few minutes. But not now. The look in Brian's eyes is piercing anger that Jae has never witnessed before.

"Brian, what the Hell are you doing!" Min yells, grabbing Brian so that he lets go of Jae, not getting to say what he wanted.

"I come back to see you with some random guy, in our apartment... And you're asking me what I'm doing?" 

Jae's frozen, his eyes unfocused so he doesn't see the shocked and sympathetic look Minri's giving him. His mind puts the hints together, forming the conclusion that Brian went out, and had a relapse. Although, it was a certain chunk of memory loss; not everything.

Jae assumes it happened after the interview with the music label, maybe when Brian had just sat down in his car.

Forgot who his boyfriend is, forgot that it's now their apartment.

But he does remember that Minri's his girlfriend, and that they live together. He remembered the way back home, clearly, but doesn't know exactly whose home it now is.

It's been a constant fear of Jae's, but something about Brian only forgetting him and not everything makes it all the more heartwrenching. He knows Brian has this condition, and knows that this day was a very real possibility, however he never prepared for the day to come and for his boyfriend to only remember Minri.

"Why are you still here?"

Brian says through gritted teeth, pulling Jae out of his thoughts and he doesn't even notice he's crying. His eyes catch a glimpse at the way Bri's holding Minri's wrist, his eyes that look infuriated yet saddened.

"Brian-" his voice sounds so weak and small, and apparently it would've been best to stay quiet when he goes,

"You know me? You know my name... So then you know Min and I are together," 

"W-what no! I-I mean, yes I do know you but-"

"Why the are you crying?"

Jae winces at how angry Brian sounds, him cursing with fury evident in his voice feels like a slap in the face which doesn't help that tears. 

"Bri, stop-"

"Min, please not now." he begs and then returns his attention to Jae,

"Listen, I'll give you 10 seconds to get out before I punch you,"

Jae wanted to move, he swears it. But his legs weren't listening to his brain, obeying his heart that's telling him to stay. 

"10, 9, 8," Brian's not patient enough to count down from 10, 

"2, 1."

He lunges forward and Jae braces himself for the-

"Jae!"

He wakes up, a mess of tears and sweat, trembling from a nightmare that was so vivid he can't differentiate between Brian's voice that's soothing him, and the one that was laced with anger and hatred.

"Jae, hey... It's okay."

Brian's arms are strong, yet gentle as he rubs comforting circles on Jae's back, holding him close and hushing him.

"It's okay, you're okay... I'm here,"

Jae lets out a shaky breath and closes his eyes, nestling his face in Brian's shoulder and hesitantly wrapping his own arms around him.

Brian glances at the clock and it's only 4AM, so he suggests,

"Let's go back to bed, yeah?"

The author's scared that once he closes his eyes, the dream will just pick up where it left off. Not receiving a reply or even a nod, Brian uses his hand to make Jae look up, and his heart aches at the tears in his boyfriend's eyes.

He doesn't say anything because he doesn't need to. It only takes a few moments before Jae nods and then settles into his boyfriend's embrace. He's thankful that Brian doesn't ask about the nightmare, and soon enough he falls asleep.

Brian's kept awake a little longer, the fact that he heard Jae say his name while he was dreaming and crying nagging at him. He's threading his fingers through Jae's blonde locks, staring at the ceiling and he's still thinking about Jae's nightmare when he falls into slumber himself.

"Sorry about waking you up this morning..." Jae says, looking at Brian sheepishly.

They're in the kitchen, preparing some breakfast

"No, don't apologize." he replies, giving Jae's forehead a kiss as he walks by to make his coffee.

"Are you okay, though?"

"Yeah, I'm fine... Just never had a dream like that before..."

Brian looks at Jae who's staring into his mug,

"I was in it, wasn't I?"

Jae just nods, and a sad smile is on his face when he says,

"I thought I lost you..."

He open his mouth to say "Never," but that reply isn't entirely true. So Brian simply puts his mug down and makes his way behind Jae, giving him a backhug and nestling his head into the crook of Jae's neck.

"I'm here," he says, and Jae smiles and plays with the bracelet on Brian's wrist.

"Yeah, I know..." and smiles even wider once Brian starts placing kisses on his neck, 

"Let's go on a date today," he mumbles against his skin, breath ghosting across and making Jae shudder slightly.

"But you have to go to the interview,"

"I'll reschedule it, let's just have an us day today."

"Bri, I don't think it's your position to ask for another day..."

"I'll say my stomach hurt, or I got sick. C'mon, please?"

Brian just doesn't want to leave Jae today. Not when he had a nightmare that had him trembling, not when he had a vivid dream of Jae losing him.

Jae's not oblivious, he can assume from the way Brian's being stubborn, but he lets himself give in.

"Where to?"

His smile can be felt against Jae's skin and Brian says,

"Let's go to the beach."

"The beach?" Jae replies, turning his head to look out the window because Brian showed no sign of letting him go anytime soon.

It's a gorgeous day, sun out in all its glory and he gives a shrug accompanied by a smile,

"Yeah, sure!"

Brian places one more kiss on his neck before smiling brightly and finishing up his coffee,

"Beach it is, then."

After breakfast, they pack fairly quickly because there's not much to bring along, and are on the road before Jae even realizes it. They're driving down the road, windows rolled down and Brian has one hand on the steering wheel while the other is holding Jae's. He smiles to himself, appreciating the wind flowing through his hair, and the man at his side. Jae's thankful Brian didn't leave him today after a nightmare like the one he had, it was comforting to have their fingers intertwined, and although Brian's eyes were on the road, the author couldn't help but love the glances Brian stole from time to time.

It's been only a matter of minutes since arrival, and Brian's already in the water, smiling at Jae who's setting their stuff down under an umbrella. 

"Come!" he says, motioning for Jae to come in the water.

"Later!" is his reply.

Brian looks at him and finally gives a nod, slipping back into the water. 

Jae just watches, loving the way the sun reflects off Brian's broad back once he resurfaces. He's admiring the muscles that come through when his boyfriend stands up in the water to push his hair back. 

Jaehyung's not too huge on swimming, he prefers relaxing in the sun. But he figures, while he's here, he might as well cool down in the waves.

He's standing right up on the shore, looking at Brian,

"Come in!"

He shakes his head teasingly, and when Brian comes running towards him, Jae realizes he's not that fast on sand.

Brian picks him up like a bride, much to Jae's yelling protests that are filled with laughter. With a toss, Jae's submerged in the cool sea and when he comes back up, he hears Brian's laugh.

But it doesn't last too long, as Jae pulls him down to join him in the water and his laugh is muffled by the waves.

Their day at the beach consists of Brian buying them ice cream that doesn't really get consumed because Brian's a manchild. The ice cream fight ended in kisses that taste like vanilla, and Jae looking like he put sunscreen on his nose.

They're sitting together under the umbrella as Brian dries off from another dip and Jae can't take his eyes off him.

"What?" 

"Nothing." he tears his eyes away and focuses on the line where the sky meets the sea.

"Tell me," Brian nudges,

"It was nothing,"

"Do I have kelp in my hair?"

"No," Jae answers,

"Sand on my face?"

"No," 

"So, then why were you staring?"

"Because you look insanely good right now!" Jae's fed up with Brian's pestering, and refuses to look at him.

Brian smiles lovingly and kisses Jae's exposed shoulder,

"If only you could see yourself," he replies.

Jae rolls his eyes before getting up to his feet,

"Where're you going?"

"To get some drinks, what do you want?"

"Only you can quench my thir-"

Jae kicks some sand at his boyfriend and laughs at the sputtering sounds that come from Brian as he runs away.

When the author returns with 2 slushies in his hand, he watches from a distance as girls are talking to Brian. He hears bits and pieces of their conversation, but mainly focuses on the gaze that one of the girls is giving Brian. Apparently, not much has changed from the times he and Younghyun used to go, but he doesn't blame the girls.

Except unlike then, he doesn't feel insecure about himself or their relationship. Jae actually feels proud that his boyfriend's getting hit on, so he decides drop his focus on the gaze, and eavesdrop.

"So, how about you give me a call later?"

"Ah can't, sorry." Brian replies,

"My boyfriend tossed my phone into the water." he lies,

"Boyfriend?"

"Yup," Jae says, on cue, handing Brian his slushie and standing at his side. Brian smiles at him and wraps an arm around his boyfriend.

What follows next is an awkward excuse for the girls to leave, and the couple getting a brain freeze because, once again, Brian's a manchild and suggested a race to see who could finish their slushie first.

Their ride home is filled with Jae screaming along to the songs on the radio, wind blowing through their hair as the sun sets, and Brian laughing whenever his boyfriend's voice cracked or he got a lyric wrong.

When they get home, they rush to shower, Jae complaining as he hates the feeling of sand in his hair. Once Brian gets out, he's only in some sweatpants not bothering with a top, drying his hair as he walks into the kitchen to see Jae over the stove-top.

"What're you doing?"

"Making dinner. Aren't you hungry? We kinda skipped lunch,"

"Not that...Why're you wearing an apron?"

Jae looks down,

"Oh, this? I didn't wanna get your shirt dirty."

That's what Brian was addressing. The way Jae looks so adorable in his oversized and an apron, not wearing pants or even shorts. He doesn't have glasses on and his hair is laying on his forehead and Brian really just wants to take him and hug him. 

So, he goes and turns off the stove,

"What're you doing?" it's Jae's turn to ask that question,

"Let's eat later,"

"What- Brian, put me down." 

Brian shakes his head and just walks to their bedroom, not before hastily taking off the apron, laying Jae down on the bed and hovering over him for a while. His intense stare causes a pink flush to make its way to Jae's cheeks and he tries to hide it with his hands,

"W-what?" he asks, suddenly feeling shy under his boyfriend.

"I love you." Brian says and Jae's dwelling on the sincerity in his voice when Brian leans down to kiss him.

The kiss feels different tonight, and Jae thinks he's just imagining it so he decides to just melt into the kiss. Jae wraps his arms around Brian's neck, and when Brian his bottom lip, Jae doesn't hesitate to let him in. That's when he knows it's different, when Brian's hand at his waist pulls their bodies a little closer and when his tongue feels another.

The moment Jae lets out a noise that's bound to drive Brian crazy, he pulls away. Marvelling at the sight beneath him, his boyfriend out of breath and his lips slightly swollen and glossy.

"Don't do that," Brian warns, a growl against Jae's skin.

Jae's fingers naturally draw patterns on Brian's bare chest,

"What?"

"That." Brian replies to his silky voice and he gently brushes the hair out of Jae's face,

"If you do, I... I don't think I'll be able to settle for just kissing you." he admits and he knows he's blushing, so he looks down.

Seeing Brian with a faint pink on his cheeks is something Jae adds to his favourite sights, in addition to his half-lidded eyes.

"Hey Bri," Jae says as he takes Brian's chin in one hand, the other finding Brian's and linking their hands.

"I love you."

Brian stares at Jae until a small, endearing smile is on his face.

"I love you, too." Brian replies before kissing him again, and is in love with the way Jae smiles into the kiss, only to connect their lips again.

Jae shudders at Brian's finger tips that make their way under his shirt, slipping it up while leaving a burning trail in their wake. Jae's hands trail down Brian's back, one of them daring to settle at the band of his sweatpants.

Their movements are slow and smooth, even when Brian leaves Jae's lips to place kisses down his jawline and settle at his neck; and he stays there. Brian takes his time, marking Jae where he sees fit, and that's practically everywhere. He's looking down at Jae, smiling to himself as spots of purple and red are starting to come through, when Jae swiftly switches their positions, straddling Brian and his boyfriend looks surprised.

"My turn," is all Jae says and Brian curses under his breath, the profanity aimed towards the look in Jae's eyes and the way he dips down and places a kiss on his collarbones.

Jae likes the way Brian's muscles contract and relax with the subtle contact, and the way Brian's looking up at him is maddening. He places kisses all down Brian's chest and stomach, his slow pace and gentle lips causing Brian to grow impatient. He plays with the drawstrings of his sweatpants, the black elastic band at his waist lower than it had been. In one motion, the sweatpants are off and Brian switches their positions again.

Brian moves slowly and hesitantly, slipping Jae's boxers off as he goes a deep red. Brian places a loving kiss on his inner thighs, and notices Jae trying to hide under his hands, so he grabs them and kisses the back of his hand.

"Hey, baby... It's okay," Brian's voice is like honey, matching the way his skin looks at the moment, and Jae doesn't even process that's the first time a petname had left his boyfriend's lips.

"You're gorgeous, love." he comforts and places a kiss on Jae's temple.

The author feels like he's going to explode, every touch Brian greets him with burns like crazy and it's embarassing and thrilling at the same time. 

Jae tugs at Brian's black boxers, and as Brian's busy creating another hickey on his neck, he pulls it down. Jae wraps his arms back around Brian's neck, and his legs around his waist as Brian begins to move slowly.

It's their first time, and at the beginning, it's awkward and clumsy and almost funny; the amount of times they pause to ask if the other is okay. But soon enough, it's a jumble of breathless moans, names being repeated like a sacred mantra, sights of stars that aren't really there and slacked jaws.

They're cuddling under thin sheets, Brian continuously pressing light kisses on Jae's skin, and Jae's head settled in the crook of Brian's neck. They're both relatively sweaty, but neither of them seem to care. Jae's exhausted, and Brian can tell from his eyes that are barely open.

"Let's get you cleaned up," Brian suggests and his boyfriend gives a nod.

Upon trying to stand, Jae's legs give in at the shot of pain that runs through his spine, which results in him being carried to the bathroom.

Brian's gentle as he washes Jae's body,

"You gave me hickeys everywhere!" Jae says, but there's no real anger in his voice.

"You bit my shoulder! 3 times!"

"That's because you were going too fa-" he's about to argue, but stops because he's too embarrassed and Brian already knows what he's talking about anyway.

They settle into comfortable silence and Jae's smiling to himself as Brian dries him, and carries him back to bed.

Brian showers himself, having the luxury of standing without complaining, and when he returns to the room, Jae's already sleeping.

He slips into the bed, trying not to wake his boyfriend who was clearly exhausted. But when he lays down, Jae turns to wrap his arms around him and nuzzles into his chest.

"I love you." he whispers and Brian smiles,

"Love you too, baby."

"Hey, Bri?" 

He hums in response, eyes closed as he feels tired himself.

"We didn't eat dinner.."

Brian chuckles lowly, amused that Jae would bring that up after what they did, and says,

"Okay, take a nap and when you wake up, we'll have dinner."

Brian feels Jae smile and it doesn't take that long before they both fall asleep as they usually do; in each other's arms.

AUTHOR'S NOTE;

*happy one year + 1 week with tattoo! love you guys so much!*

hi guys! sorry for being mia for a month, just wrapped up exams and we're performing at graduation tomorrow, so i've been quite busy! how've you guys been? i didn't even get to talk to you guys about I SMILE yet! ah what a gorgeous song :') idk if you guys read that little message on this story feed, but this story is ending soon! not too sure when, but soon (:

please please pleaaseee! comment any thoughts you have on this story, as well as this chapter. please subscribe to keep updated on these last few chapters and please give this story an upvote! :D but y'all know how much i love talking to you guys so please say something!<3

i'll try and update soon, but until then, peace! - zen