Jae's phone goes off just as he's entering Brian's slightly familiar apartment.

eunyi: wanna chill today? or just meet up, i wanna give back your sweater.

Jae takes advantage of the time as he waits for the elevator, and types a reply

jae: yeah, sure. hey, I'm about to hang out with Brian right now, I'll text you later, yeah?

eunyi: ok, cya loser :)

Jae laughs a bit at her response, but looks up from his phone once he hears the elevator ding.

Brian had texted Jae the night before, asking to chill at his apartment for a while, and Jae had no real reason to reject that offer. Brian said he had something to ask, and that's how Jae ended up sitting on his couch.

They're side by side, and lack of distance isn't that uncomfortable.

"The doctor said I could try doing things I used to do to jog my memory," Brian informs after they've been talking for a few hours now.

"Trip to Canada wasn't helpful, huh?"

"Nope," Brian answers and looks into Jae's eyes,

"Still can't remember you."

"So, what's it like having a girlfriend?" Brian asks,

"New. Different..." Jae answers after thinking for a bit,

"She's a lot cooler than I expected, to be honest. She's hilarious, tells mean jokes and doesn't get offended when I say some back," he continues,

"Does she make you feel the same way I made you feel?" is a question that Jae doesn't expect.

"Sorry if this sounds rude," Jae doesn't directly answer,

"But, when did you get so curious?"

Brian tilts his head slightly, which is a signal for Jae to elaborate,

"When did you start asking so many questions? I mean, props to you for always asking them, but.. Why do you want to know all these things?"

"Do you find it annoying?"

"That wasn't my point, Brian" Jae assures with a slight smile, and Brian answers,

"I guess ever since I found out for sure I was Younghyun. It doesn't help that I still talk to you, and it's just hard not to question the fact that our lives are intertwined in more ways than just you and I, you and Brian... You know?"

Jae just nods, slightly thankful that Brian's previous question had drifted away from topic, because he wouldn't know how to reply. Because he doesn't know how Eunyi makes him feel, because he's not thinking about that when he's with her.

"Hey," Brian breaks the silence,

"Can you do me a favour?"

"Yeah, sure, what is it?" Jae asks. 

Expecting something along the lines of 'can you pass me the remote in front of you' or maybe, 'can you pass that throw pillow beside you'.

But that's not what he's asked for. Instead, Brian's favour comes out as,

"Kiss me."

And he's frozen in disbelief. He doesn't want to smile, but the thought of even reconnecting lips makes him happy, but Jae knows it's not that same.

So, he does something similar.

Jae laughs a bit before saying,

"C'mon, Brian..." he scoffs,

"You're joking, right?"

"Maybe it'll help me remember-"

"Brian, you have a girlfriend." he reminds,

"That didn't stop you the previous 2 times," his tongue slips and Jae goes quiet.

Brian bites his bottom lip, regretting his words and he swears he's never seen Jae so uncomfortable. Jae doesn't know how to reply. The 2 previous times, Brian didn't ask for Jae's lips against his, but yet the one time Brian's asking, Jae has never felt so hesitant in his life. 

He's trying to think rationally, but the fact that Brian asked isn't helping.

So, he doesn't know what, but something possesses him to say,

"You're going to regret it." 

And he doesn't process the lack of distance between them until Brian says,

"Don't make me,"

It's as if things happen in slow motion, yet at the same time, all at once.

The closing of the distance between them, the chaotic thoughts yet complete silence of the room, the soft touch of their lips. 

But Brian's more focused on the fact that he remembers something like this.

He doesn't know what he was expecting; maybe a total flood of every forgotten scene to come back to him, but it's nothing like that.

It's simply a fragment of what has been lost.

But it's something.

It's the memory of them in the same position, but somewhere completely different. 

Jae's hair is a little shorter, face a little more of full of youth, at least that's what he looks like in this memory playing back in Brian's mind. 

And no, it's not just a flashback to one of the previous times that Jae had kissed him. 

Because in his mind, Jae's wearing a red flannel over a white plain tee. They're at some carnival-

It's not just 'some' carnival, actually.

It's their school fair, Brian recalls.

It was their senior year, and it was in October. Their highschool always had some fair near the beginning of the year, but Brian remembers this. 

The first time they had kissed. 

He remembers them playing some ring toss, and Jae was surprisingly a master at all the games offered at the booths, which resulted in Brian going home with multiple stuffed toys which, at the time, wasn't that big of a deal to his parents.

Brian also remembers the few moments after that, the broad smile on Jae's face and his little,

"Finally," that he says as he leans on his shoulder to watch the rest of the fireworks. 

When Brian finally opens his eyes, he notices that Jae already pulled away, looking the other way in the futile attempt to hide his blushing cheeks.

"I remember," is the first thing he says and Jae rolls his eyes,

"Yeah right Brian-" 

"When was the first time we kissed?" Brian asks, and Jae just flushes a deeper red,

"W-why are you-"

"Jae, now is not the time to be all flustered, can you just please answer?" Brian says as if he's in a rush.

Because he's scared.

He's scared for multiple reasons, though. He's scared that maybe it was just some fabrication of his mind that wasn't a true moment of his lost past. But, the reason he's basically rushing is because he's scared that if he doesn't confirm it fast enough, the memory is going to slip away again. 

"At our school fair..."

Brian can't help but smile at that information,

"Brian, I doubt kissing you actually-"

"What were you wearing?" he interrupts and Jae's quiet for a bit before answering,

"A red flannel with,"

"A plain white tee underneath," Brian finishes his sentence.

Jae's still not convinced,

"That's predictable because you know my style,"

"You said 'finally' after, and you completely dominated at ring toss..." Brian says, almost fondly and he never realizes how happy Jae made him back then.

There's a natural smile on his face as Jae doesn't know how to react, something about this being thrilling, yet depressing at the same time.

"I don't remember anything else though..." Brian finally sobers up from the excitement.

It's quiet and Jae's just trying not to get his hopes up that Brian will remember everything.

"Kiss me again," is what breaks the long silence.

"What? No!" Jae refuses,

"C'mon, maybe it'll jog-"

"Brian, enough. Seriously." Jae deadpans and Brian stops.

"Sorry.." he says.

And for the first time, Jae doesn't say 'don't be'.

"For the, what feels like, hundredth time, you have a girlfriend,"

"I know that,"

"So don't ask me to kiss you again. Don't do anything that might toy with feelings,"

"But, I know I have a girlfriend, and my feelings are-"

"What about mine?!" Jae snaps,not even letting him finish, and Brian only now realizes how selfish he's been.

"You're not the only one involved in the kiss, Brian. It's not just you whose lips are touching someone else's... And you may have your feelings in check but when you ask me to do things like this it's hard, for me." he says, and Brian doesn't respond because he knows Jae's not done yet,

"You-You can't just ask me to kiss you and expect me not to harbour any feelings... When you do like this, it just blurs all the lines, it knocks down the walls I've built to separate you and Younghyun.." Jae gives a defeated sigh as he looks at Brian with eyes glistened over with tears of just too much raw emotion flowing out at once.

"Jae..." Brian tries comforting,

"I'm sorry.. I-I just got too excited that I remembered, and didn't think before speaking..."

Jae's phone goes off, and Jae feels as if it's a blessing to save them from this awkward situation. He looks at his phone, and is almost relieved when he reads,

eunyi: yoyoyo, i wanted some coffee, so i stopped by the cafe and i'll just wait for you here! come whenever 

And apparently his brain processes 'whenever' as 'now', and he says,

"I gotta go meet Eunyi,"

Brian just nods because he doesn't feel comfortable asking Jae to stay, because it's not his place.

Jae gets up from the couch and leaves the apartment.

And he's glad he left when he did, because he passes Minri in the hall and Jae forces a smile,

"Oh, hey Jae!" she says, happily and Jae replies,

"Hey Min,"

"Hanging out with Bri?" she asks,

"Yeah, just leaving to go meet Eunyi,"

"Oh, okay. Is Bri still in there?" and just then, they both turn their heads toward the end of the hall when they hear the almost desperate sound of a door opening and Brian's voice saying, 

"Jae!"

He immediately sees Minri who's looking at him curiously, and Brian makes things vague, saying

"Thanks for today," 

But Jae's flustered and slightly angered expression only makes Minri more curious,

"No problem," he manages to say, and flashes Minri another smile before leaving, his steps a little quicker than before.

Brian's eyes follow Jae's hurrying figure, his unsaid words still lingering on his tongue, but then Minri comes into focus.

"Thanks for what?" she asks as they both enter their apartment,

"He helped me with something," Brian replies 

"Hmm, I see," Minri says and places a chaste kiss on Brian's lips, and he doesn't necessarily hate the way it reminds him of Jae.

 

"Did I make you wait too long?" Jae says when he sees Eunyi.

"Hell yeah!" she replies, her expression angry and Jae almost apologizes before she gives him a sincere smile and laugh,

"Just kidding, didn't wait too long." 

Jae finds himself smiling as Eunyi passes him an Iced Americano,

"You look like you need one," she says and Jae gladly accepts, and takes a quick sip, as if trying to get Brian's taste out of his mouth.

Truth be told, Jae didn't want to go to the cafe. He just wanted to go home and curl up in a ball, shut himself out for a while, but he felt like he couldn't just leave Eunyi waiting.

"How are you?" she asks, and Jae thinks for a while.

Eunyi usually sees right throug him, so it's a matter of lying and trying to play it off, or telling the unnecessary truth.

"Crappy," Jae replies.

Eunyi takes a sip of his Americano, having already finished hers while waiting

"Seems like it." Jae just nods, and Eunyi continues,

"Do you wanna talk about it?" 

And before Jae replies, she says,

"I mean, we don't have to, but... Just to let you know, I'm here for you," and her warm smile is both comforting and almost dangerous.

But, in regards to the question Jae just lets it pass. Reason being, it would've been difficult to explain to his 'girlfriend', although fake, that he doesn't know how to, or if he even should get over some guy.

"Thanks," is what he says instead, and takes a sip of his drink, and Eunyi looks at him amused,

"You made such a big deal about sharing a drink, but not about sharing a straw... Weird,"

Jae came to the realization of the truth about her statement, but decides he has other things to care about at this point, so he shrugs.

"Cameras," he says and Eunyi rolls her eyes.

"C'mon, let's go" she says, getting up and Jae just looks at her, his eyes saying 'I just sat down!',

"Where to?" 

"Surprise," is Eunyi's answer, because she doesn't really know herself.

"I don't trust you," he replies with a joking smile,

"Smart boy"

And they both laugh at Eunyi's comment.

Jae follows her anyway, ignoring the excited whispers of fangirls that watch them leave the cafe.

 

"Care to tell me where we're off to now?" Jae says, slightly irritated considering they've been walking for quite some time.

"You'll see in the distance, soon" Eunyi replies, and gives him a smile. 

And she's right.

Beyond the tall buildings that were becoming scarce, Jae could see the almost terrifyingly tall structures that looped around, and it was if he could almost hear the screams of amusement.

"We're going to an amusement park?" 

"Laughter is the best medicine, no?" Eunyi says and then continues,

"Figured you could use some distraction and fun"

She looks into the distance, and gets excited,

"Come on!" she says and grabs Jae's hand and starts running, and Jae finds himself smiling. 

The amusement park isn't that packed today, surprisingly. Eunyi pays for his admission pass, much to Jae's dismay, but she insists that today is her treat. They get some food at the vendors, and start looking for a few rides.

And it's fun.

Eunyi's intention of distraction is succeeding, and for a while Jae completely forgets what had happened earlier that day.

That is until, Eunyi points something out, interrupting their laughter,

"Oh!" Jae looks at her curiously,

"Isn't that Brian and Minri?"

His line of sight follows the direction Eunyi's finger is pointing to, and lo and behold, there they are, holding hands and smiling, but Brian doesn't look completely happy.

They make eye contact, and Jae feels the sudden need to get on a ride,

"Oh! Eunyi!" Minri is the first to make contact, and Jae groans internally, while Eunyi greets Minri with the same enthusiasm and happiness

"Hi!" she says, and Brian finally reaches them, awkwardly nodding at Jae, who does the same

"Gosh, we're always catching you on your dates!" Minri comments, and Jae chuckles, almost painfully,

"Yeah, what a coincidence" and his tone of voice just barely escapes sarcasm,

Eunyi gives him a curious but also concerned look, while Brian tries to avoid Jae's eyes as naturally as he can. Jae wants to leave, and Minri's question gives them an opportunity to escape,

"Oh, were you guys gonna go on a ride?"

Before Eunyi can answer, Jae says,

"Yeah, we were just about to line up for..." he can't think of a ride so he looks to Eunyi who finishes his sentence,

"The ferris wheel."

Jae tries not to look so mortified at the mention of the ride. He looks at Eunyi, almost begging her to choose a different ride, but her answer made sense considering it was right in their line of sight.

"But Jae hates ferris wheels" Brian says, and Jae looks at him, the surprise not hidden in his expression.

Brian looks at Jae, almost apologetically, and he too seems genuinely surprised at the words that just came out of his mouth.

"Why?" Eunyi asks, and Brian responds habitually,

"Because he got stuck at the top one night for an hour," 

"How do you know what?" Jae asks, almost angry that Brian answered Eunyi's question.

Brian gives a forced smile, and light pat on Jae's arm,

"You told me when we were chilling,"  

But Jae knows he didn't mention that story at all. Jae looks at Brian who's chuckling and Jae decides to do the same,

"Oh, well, why didn't you tell me?" Eunyi asks and smiles,

"We can ride something else," she says and Jae takes that offer to leave

"Yeah, let's look around," he takes Eunyi's hand and they start to motion to leave.

But apparently, Minri can't take a hint,

"Oh! Let's go on a ride together," and she takes Brian's hand, and pulls him forward toward the group.

Jae doesn't want to be the douche that rejects her offer, so he just smiles.

"Maybe we shouldn't bug them on their date" Brian says and Minri gives a little pout, but Eunyi doesn't object to that idea. 

"C'mon, let's go get some food, we didn't eat yet" Brian urges,

"Okay," Minri finally gives in,

"We'll meet up with you guys later!" she says and Jae and Eunyi give her a smile and wave, watching as the couple walks away and Jae's slightly irritated that Brian doesn't even look back.

It's quiet for a while, before Eunyi snorts,

"Ew," Jae says, jokingly,

"What was that?" he asks as Eunyi begins to laugh,

"You got stuck in a ferris wheel?"

"Okay, it sounds ridiculous now, but at that time I swear to you, I thought I was gonna die"

"Was it on fire?" Eunyi asks through her laughter,

"Well, no" Jae admits,

"But after an hour, your brain resorts to the worst case scenario"

"Okay, fine" Eunyi surrenders, her laugh fading and then the mood gets a bit serious.

"You okay?" she asks, slightly surprising Jae.

He starts to wonder about the numerous times Eunyi has surprised him, not the average girl he concludes. 

"Yeah, fine" he answers, and decides to urge her towards the rides

"Let's go to this one, the line up is short!" he says, sincere excitement in his voice that masks the underlying curiosity about Brian.

 

The day at the amusement park was a nice escape, Jae concludes. They didn't run into Brian and Minri after that, thankfully. So, Eunyi and Jae just went about their day, trying out several foods and going on different rides that consisted of 'manly' screams, Jae would argue, and Eunyi wishing she took an audio recording.

He's currently at his own apartment, in front of his laptop, smiling at something on his screen.

"What're you looking at?" Wonpil asks, coming up behind Jae to see the reason for his grin.

Wonpil's slightly surprised at the image on the screen, or more accurately images.

Jae's looking at a fan site who happened to catch him and Eunyi on their "date" today, and the candid shots are beautiful, Wonpil admits.

Wonpil gives him a curious look,

"Don't we look cute?" Jae asks, and Wonpil doesn't know how to respond,

"I mean, you completely ruin the picture, but-"

Jae gives him a playful smack on the arm, and Wonpil laughs.

"Yeah.." he says while nodding,

"Yeah, you two do look cute," Wonpil gives a sincere answer.

He looks at the time on Jae's laptop and starts collecting his coat, phone and keys,

"I'll get going now, see you later!" Wonpil says,

"Have fun at Sungjin's!" Jae yells, and Wonpil just laughs, not bothering to deny it at this point.

Wonpil closes the door, and Jae jogs to lock it shortly afterward.

It's later in the night, and Jae's still on his laptop, writing some one shot, the screen illuminating his fairly dark bedroom. 

But then his phone goes off.

Jae expects it to be Wonpil asking for a ride home since him and Sungjin both had something to drink, or maybe just to talk. But it's not.

brian: hey, you busy?

Is what is on his screen. 

Jae tosses his phone to the side, and continues typing away, but the several typos and loss of train of thought that follow is enough for him to grab his phone and type a reply.

jae: not really, what's up? 

Despite him replying a few minutes later, it takes only a few seconds for Brian to answer

brian: just wanted to know if you could talk...

Jae's not sure if he wants to, considering the out come this morning, but he figures since they're not in the same room, it's fine.

jae: yeah sure. something wrong?

brian: no no nothings wrong... its just i wanted to say sorry about today.

Jae stares at the message, not knowing what to type but then another message from Brian rings in,

brian: sorry for being inconsiderate and also about the situation at the park. it just slipped out

And then Jae remembers Brian's comment about the ferris wheel. Suddenly, he's not concerned about Brian's apology, instead his reply reads

jae: you remembered more didnt you??

It takes Brian a bit longer than it did previously to reply,

brian: yeah

jae: how much?

brian: not all, i think. just bits and pieces 

Jae thinks for a bit, and then writes back

jae: so whatre you gonna do about it?

Brian types for a while, Jae assumes he writes something then deletes it, then writes something else and then deletes that as well. Because it takes him a while to type his short reply of

brian: what do you want me to do about it? 

Jae stares at his reply for a while. He types,

jae: if i told you i'd want you to forget it again, i'd be lying. but if i told you to act on those memories i can't see any good coming from it

Before Jae can read the reply Brian's currently typing up, his phone conveniently dies. 

Jae plugs it in, anxiously waiting for it to turn back on, and when it does, he's quite surprised to see that Brian didn't message him anything yet. 

Is he still typing? Maybe he needs to resend it since my phone turned off... Or maybe he just couldn't think of what to say-

Jae thinks, but then his phone goes off. But it's not a message from Brian; it's a text from Eunyi.

eunyi: did u see the photos of us online? arent we flippin cute?!

The author catches himself smiling at her cute message and can't help but agree, so he types back

jae: i'm cuter > you but yeah 

eunyi: keep lying to yourself lol

But that message could be taken different ways to Jae. And it's almost irritating that the first meaning he takes from that is to face his true feelings about Younghyun, or Brian, or maybe even both. And his reply is almost an answer to himself rather than Eunyi,

jae: i will ((: 

Jae decides to just leave his phone for a while, and get back to writing. Figures he needs some practice after all the distractions lately. But then he gets an incoming call, he sighs and gets up from the bed to walk to where his phone is charging, slightly annoyed at how busy his phone's been tonight. 

He answers the call, not really looking at the contact name,

"Hello?"

"Brian?" Jae asks, surprised

"Hey... Do you not have me saved as a contact?" Brian replies, taking in the questioning tone with which Jae said his name,

"No, no I do.. It's just, you stopped texting and then called, so"

"What? Did you not get my message?" he says, and Jae checks just to be sure

"Nope,"

"I called because I thought you were mad at my response.."

"What did it say?"

"Nothing bad, that's why I was scared- yeah?" 

Jae hears a voice in the background, looks at the time, and concludes it's Minri

"It's just Jae... Yeah, yeah I'll sleep soon," Brian says, and Jae just remains quiet.

"What did your text say?"

"It said that I'll wait."

Jae's silence causes Brian to talk again,

"I'll wait until I remember everything then I'll decide what to do,"

"What if you-"

"I'll stop with the if's for now... I'll just believe that I will."

"Will what?" Jae asks, as if only asking to hear it come out of Brian's mouth,

"That I will remember you, all of you. All of us, whatever that means. I'll wait till then"

 

 

 

 

 

AUTHOR'S NOTE;

okay. i owe you guys a huge apology for not updating for 2 months.

sorry, i really am. school has taken over, and the amount of projects and homework is crazy, and then my music projects, working in little ensembles and practicing for performances is just overwhelming.

i'm really sorry for leaving you guys for 2 months, and then updating with this boring chapter, soRRY.

once school work starts to die down, then i'll start updating more regularly, i swear.

anyway; thank you guys for waiting, whoever is reading this ^_^ please comment, i miss reading them c: also, please upvote if you're enjoying the story and also subscribe to keep updated!!

once again, i'm hella sorry for disappearing for 2 months. :') love you guys, sorry. i'll try and update soon, but unTIL THEN PEACE!! - Zen