Joy looked out at the view outside her apartment. It was completely dark except for the lights from a few cars moving on the highway in which her apartment was facing. She had returned earlier to her place than she planned. Earlier that night, Irene and Changsub had thrown a dinner to celebrate her birthday. She was grateful to them for trying to cheer her up even though they were supposed to still be absorbed by each other, having just returned from their honeymoon. But somehow, she felt empty a few minutes into the dinner.

Hyunsik was there with Seulgi while Eunkwang was with Yeri. Even Ilhoon came, with a girl on his arm. He was in Korea for a short holiday and somehow found his current beau in the short duration. Joy was glad to see that he finally found his girl but somehow it made her sombre. Throughout the dinner, she was forced to see the fact that she was, again, alone. 

She took a sip of wine. She felt like drinking herself silly that night. It was her birthday anyway, she could do whatever she wanted.

She took another sip. It had been five months and he did not come back. Another sip. He did not leave any clue on where he was and how to contact him. It was as if he had never returned in the first place.

She put her glass down. She wrapped her arms around herself, head down, as tears started to fall down her cheeks.

What was she expecting? Did she thought he was going to leave all that he had built behind for twelve years, for her? Was he that enamored with her? She almost laughed at her own absurdity. 

They met at a young age and she fell in love with him. And he left. They met again twelve years later and she fell for him one more time, admittedly with more success this time as he seemed to return her feelings. But he still left. Twice. Okay, maybe she drove him away the second time, but still, he left.

She took a deep breath. It was silly of her to weep for a man like this. She was a strong woman. She would collect the pieces of her heart and get back to her feet one more time. She did it before and she would do it again.

A ring from the doorbell stopped her train of thoughts. Irene, she thought. Irene had understood when Joy told her that she wanted to leave early. Irene had wanted to go with her and leave her husband and her guests but Joy insisted that she wanted to be alone. It took ten minutes to convince Irene to return to her dinner and let Joy leave. Irene had grumbled that it was pointless now that the birthday girl was leaving the birthday party. "But it is your first time throwing a party together with your husband, and you should make sure that everything goes well," Joy tried to placate her. When Irene offered to come by her apartment later, Joy insisted again that she wanted to be alone. She secretly wanted Irene to come and spend the night with her, like they used to, but she realized that the situation had changed now. Irene was a married woman, and Joy was still, well, Joy. 

The bell rang again and she quickly wiped her tears away before opening the door, fully expecting Irene to stand behind it, in her big coat which would hide her pajamas inside. What, or rather who it was instead, stole her breath away. 

***

Sungjae did not immediately raise his eyes to her face when she opened the door. He was nervous. He wanted to make it right this time. He handed her the bouquet in his hand, waiting for her to accept it before raising his eyes to hers. Her eyes were watery, her cheeks pink and lips slightly opened; in surprise he presumed. "Can I come in?" He