Heads up: The word "" is thrown around a few times, but not in a negative way.

=====

Junghan sighed as he stirred his coffee with a straw he'd taken from the cafe counter. He'd been been seated at a table by himself at the cafe he worked at for near on forty five minutes, and hadn't written more than a line of his essay.

He could blame it on the loud teenagers and other university students in the cafe, but they weren't actually being loud. There was just a low buzz as people gossiped and discussed whatever they were showing each other on their phones, and a few "oh my god!"s making their way above the drone.

Junghan sighed again, and read through his essay outline. It was just a bunch of dot points with a few words each jumbled together in roughly the order he wanted to talk about them. It was good enough for him to build on and get him a decent mark. But he just couldn't bring himself to flesh everything out and make it a proper essay.

"Maybe you should call up your soulmate and get him to come around for a quicky in the men's room?" Jun, the waiter currently on shift, suggested as he sat down in the chair across from Junghan.

"I think he's a prude. Or straight," Junghan stated simply.

Jun snickered. "Really? How's the rabbit going to survive that? It'll be at least a few weeks, probably months, before you get in his pants if he's a prude. I hope for your sake he's straight."

Junghan groaned and let his head fall onto his laptop. Months! Who could go that long without ? A freaking monk or a nun, and Junghan definitely wasn't either. "If he's straight I can at least bang someone else. Maybe he is a platonic soulmate. Maybe that's why I have two soulmates; someone I can be bros with and someone I can have mind blowing with every night."

Jun smirked. "And people call me nasty. What makes you think he's straight or a prude, anyway?"

Junghan looked up at him. "You deserve every single time you get kink shamed, you're into some weird ing , Jun. I just enjoy good , a lot."

"I'm just up for anything. They aren't necessarily my --" their conversation was interrupted by a woman who'd approached the table, a toddler attached to her hand.

"My child does not need to hear this," she said haughtily.

Your child is ing two, Junghan thought bitterly, it probably can't even understand basic conversation.

Jun stood up, grabbed a small pad of paper and a pen out of his pocket, and shot the woman an apologetic smile. "I'm sorry ma'am. We're sitting well away from everybody else, I didn't realise anybody could hear our conversation. Have you ordered yet?"

The woman nodded sharply. "Yes, I've ordered and was enjoying my food before I heard you two. Now, not so much."

Jun's head bowed slightly, and Junghan knew he was looking up at the customer through his lashes. "I'm so sorry, ma'am. As I said, I had no idea anybody could hear us talking about such private things. My friend promised me nobody would hear us talking, sitting all the way in the corner by ourselves -- it's so embarrassing. Could I make it up to you? A free coffee or muffin? A voucher for half off your next visit?"

The bastard was playing up his Chinese accent! Junghan didn't even care Jun had placed all the blame on him, he'd probably never see the lady again.

The woman's expression immediately softened. "I'll take a muffin for the little one. Blueberry. And maybe don't talk about such private things in public? Save that for at home. Your friend must be such a deviant encouraging you to talk about that stuff where you work."

Jun nodded. "I'm so sorry, again. So a blueberry muffin, no problem. Would you like to come with me to get it or would you prefer to have it delivered to your table?"

"I'll come with you and take it back to my seat, thank you." She picked up her kid and set her on her hip before stalking towards the front counter. Jun turned to Junghan and flashed him a wink -- how had he made himself /blush/? -- before hurriedly following after the woman.

Jun soon returned, customer back in her seat and cutely feeding her toddler a muffin, and sat back down. He waved a strip of paper around before passing it to Junghan. Junghan took it and looked at it. "It's a number for addicts to get help, like Alcoholics Anonymous or something. She wanted me to give it to you."

Junghan chuckled. " addict, haven't heard that one before." He scrunched up the strip of paper and shoved it onto his pocket.

Jun rested his chin on his hand. "Anyway, as I was saying before we were interrupted, I'm simply up for anything with anyone and I'm willing to let others have me how they choose." His tone was more hushed this time.

Junghan took a sip of his now cold coffee. "Still deserve to be shamed for it; you sound really... enthused about some things when you tell me about your ploits."

"You never answered the question of why you think your soulmate's straight or a prude," Jun reminded him, taking Junghan's cup out of his hands and taking a sip.

Junghan took his cup back and set it down on the table. "He thought I was trying to t him last night."

Jun quirked an eyebrow. "Were you?'

"No! So that means he hasn't ted before. Ergo, he's a prude."

Jun shook his head in disbelief. "Maybe he thinks you haven't ted before so he took whatever you said as a feeble attempt. What was the message?"

"He told me if he didn't study he'd be behind when he starts classes, so I told him if he kept studying he wouldn't be behind me anytime soon."

Jun smirked. "Randomly inserting into the conversation? Sounds like you were trying to t."

Junghan groaned. "I was trying to initiate ting, fine. Yes. But he just blew it off!" Junghan threw his hands in the air.

Jun held a hand out. "Let me read the messages." Junghan sighed and picked his phone off the table before slapping it onto Jun's hand.

Junghan waited as Jun read through the messages. "Seems fine to me, you interrupted him studying. I'd react the same way," Jun reported with a shrug as he gave Junghan his phone back.

"But you really can't tell until you get to know him better. Ask him here so you can take a break from whatever you're supposed to be doing. There's this list of questions that are really good for trying to get to know each other. Look up 'questions to fall in love' and they'll come up." Jun stood up. "Someone just came in, I gotta go serve them. But if I don't see him here soon, when I meet him the first things out of mouth will the names of the last three guys you screwed."

"I don't even know the name of one of them," Junghan grinned.

Jun winked. "Then he'll find out how much of a you really are," he quipped playfully before turning to head to the cash register.

"You only jealous because my number's higher than yours!" Junghan called when Jun was halfway across the cafe. Junghan checked to see if the woman with the kid was around, before sighing in relief -- she was gone.

He picked his phone up to message Joshua.

27 Sep

9:16 am

u up?

9:16 am

Yes, why?

9:17 am

im bored

uni stuff

pls come to the cafe so i can take a break

9:19 am

Sure, no problem. We can use the time to get to know each other. What time do you want me there?

9:20 am

u hav til 9:45 to show up or one of my friends will embarras me

9:22 am

I'll try my best! But if you already have a friend with you, why do I have to go so you aren't bored?

9:22 am

hes working atm

9:23 am

and hes an

i dint kno why im friends w him

Joshua didn't answer for the next two and a half minutes, so Junghan put his phone on the table. Soon enough Jun came back, a fresh cup of coffee and a muffin in his hands.

"Is he coming?" Jun asked as he sat back down.

Junghan nodded, and lifted up a hand to push a few strands of hair back behind his ear. "He'll be here by quarter to ten."

Jun grinned, and he leaned back in his chair. "So, how can I embarrass the cafe's resident rabbit?"

Junghan grabbed half of Jun's muffin and shoved it his mouth. "I'm not even going to plead with you not to. I don't care."

Junghan's phone whistled. Junghan glanced to check it; Joshua.

9:27 am

I just realised I have no idea how to get to the cafe

"Soulmate?" Jun drawled. Junghan nodded as he typed back a reply.

9:27 am

ask vernon to walk u

"Yep. Listen, can you read through this and help me figure out if soulmates can be mentioned in my essay somehow? The professor's crazy about how they can affect kids," Junghan asked, bringing his outline up on his laptop and turning it around to face Jun. He'd been meaning to ask for a little over a week.

Jun leaned in and read through it, mumbling the words to himself as he went along. "Maybe in this bit about when they start developing crushes and wanting to be in romantic relationships? Lots of kids feel like they should only fall in love once and kiss one person, ever, so they feel like they're not exploring that desire to be romantically affectionate? Or anything to do with esteem -- the place I'm interning at has had parents bring in kids as young as five or six so a specialist could assure them they never have to worry about not being good enough for their future soulmate. Most of the kids who come in like that are eleven to fifteen, though."

Jun's fingers fluttered across the keyboard.

"My parents had to do that for me, y'know," Junghan said plainly. "Take me to a specialist so the nice lady could tell me that I'd be good enough for my soulmate as long as I tried my best to be a good person." He laughed sardonically.

Jun turned Junghan's laptop back around."Can I ask you about that sometime? I have an assignment coming up on how soulmate specialists can help parents talk to their children about soulmates, and ways we can improve on our already existing methods."

Junghan nodded. "Yeah sure, youre always helping me kiss up to my professor. Least I could do."

"Thanks, bunny. I bookmarked a few sources for you. They're about kids who haven't gotten their mark yet and how both specialists and psychologists think soulmates affects them."

Junghan got another message and checked it while Jun got up to rearrange the seats of a table a group of customers had left in disarray.

9:34 am

Vernon can't walk me to the cafe because he's got Seungkwan over. Can you come pick me up?

"Jun, can you look after my laptop while I go pick up Joshua?"

"If he's not here by quarter to I'm giving him two names and a 'you're soulmate's a '."

Junghan giggled. "So I'm a because I never bothered to find out his name?"

Jun scraped one of the chairs on the floor on purpose. "You never found out his name because you're a , not the other way around. And did I ever say being a 's a bad thing?"

"Shut up, I'm calling him to give him directions," Junghan warned. Jun rattled a chair against the legs of the table he was trying to set right.

"Have I told how much of an arsehole you are?" Junghan called out over the noise. Jun just poked his tongue out and blew him a kiss.

"Umm, sorry? I don't know what I did, but --"

"No! Not you, Shua. My friend. Look, if you aren't here by quarter to, my friend wins. So I'll just give you directions, OK?"

"Don't worry, Mrs Choi's going out so she offered me a ride. Be there soon. Bye." Junghan fist pumped -- Jun wouldn't be able to scare off Joshua.

"Bye Shua, see you soon!" The line went dead, Junghan couldn't tell which of them hung up first, and he slipped his phone into his back pocket.

"Jun, you know how you're good at telling how someone swings?"

Jun nodded and started straightening up another table. "I've only gotten it wrong once, and that guy should've expected a guy to crack onto him -- wearing a pair of sequinned pants in a gay club."

"Can you come over and meet Joshua, figure him out, and tell me after he's left?"

Jun sighed. "Can't you just ask him?"

"Just, come say hi, chat to him when you take his order, and shake your cute arse as you walk away?"

"How will me shaking my arse as I walk away help out?" Jun asked, an eybrow raised.

Junghan started organising his things so it looked like he'd been working on his essay all morning. "You already know."

"I just want to hear you say it," Jun admitted.

Junghan turned to Jun, his bottom lip caught between his teeth, and winked. "You know it's for my benefit, baby."

Jun winked back and swiped his tongue along his lips before blowing Junghan a kiss. Junghan pretended to catch it and put it in his pocket.

"Really?" Dokyeom's voice rang out through the cafe. Oh god, how had Junghan forgotten about Sunday morning tea with DK so he could make sure the boy wasn't trying to put jokes in his homework? "I thought you said you didn't have that kind of relationship with Jun."

"I don't, Dokyeommie. We're just kidding around."

Jun put on an exaggerated pout. "So you don't think I've got a cute arse?" Then he turned to Dokyeom, face serious. "But no, Junghan and I are nothing like that. We both get around too often and like such different types of for anything to work out between us."

Dokyeom nodded and wandered over to Junghan's table. "How are you going with your essay? Remember you wanted to--"

"I already asked Jun about it." Dokyeom nodded, and went to sit down. "Dokyeom, actually, I'm meeting Joshua, my soulmate, in a little. I'm sorry to postpone our Sunday morning brunch, but could we have afternoon tea instead?"

Dokyeom sighed in relief and stood back up. "I downloaded a game on my phone last night, and I'm really close to finishing it! I have no problem postponing. See you later, Junghan!" And Dokyeom trotted off to sit at a nearby table.

***

"So, is he straight?" Junghan asked Jun once the doors had closed behind Joshua.

Dokyeom came over, looking apologetic. "I'm really sorry, Junghan, but mum says she wants me wants me home to help look after my little cousins. Random big family dinner."

Junghan grinned at Dokyeom and reached a hand up to mess his hair. "No problem. We still see each other during the week. Just remember you've got to study for that test!"

Once Dokyeom left, the cafe was completely empty. Jun came over and sat with Junghan again. "Your soulmate's into guys. Like, exclusively."

Junghan groaned and covered his face with his hands. "Can you tell if he's a bottom or top?"

Jun snickered. "You'll like this... He doesn't seem to have had before."

Junghan brightened. "So, with your radar, he's either a total freak in bed or I got myself a pretty little ."

Jun nodded, and started drumming his fingers against the table. "He didn't seem too into . Even when you casually brought it up he brushed it aside and changed subject. It's possible he didn't want to talk about it, but." Jun shrugged.

Junghan groaned and mushed his face into his laptop.

"You know soulmates aren't about , right? It's a deep connection --"

"That means my other soulmate will have to be enough to satisfy my needs, when I find him. Until then, I only have Shua." Junghan finished.

"What happened to the Junghan that just wanted to fall in love and get married and adopt a heap of kids someday? I swear I saw him half a year ago.

Junghan lifted his head off his laptop's keyboard. "I learned about my more carnal desires -- and I've been like this since I got my first good ! That was last year, don't you question my validity as a . I take pride in my numbers, thank you."

Jun snorted. "The number of years the people you've had with have been alive? Everyone you screw is old."

Junghan made a noise of indignance. "Men in their early thirties are not old! They just know how to use their ."

"You know, how you were with Joshua was what you were like last year. You called him 'Shua' and innocently flirted the whole time."

"He's got this... you know. Doesn't he? Like a motherless lamb, or Bambi. I don't want to scare him off." Junghan cleared his throat and leaned back into his chair."A part of me does want that perfect relationship, you know, and he responds well to the cute, couple-y me. So why not have fun and play that role?"

"As someone studying the science of soulmates, I can tell you this isn't going to end well," Jun warned.

============

A/N:

I had way too much fun with this. It was only supposed to be about a thousand words, but Jun and Junghan's banter was just too fun.