Heads up: brief consideration of cheating

Junghan slammed his bedroom door shut once Joshua had left the apartment and dropped onto his bed so hard he bounced a little.

His dad was a hypocritical pig and he'd scared off Junghan's first real shot at anything like love.

Sure, Joshua had kissed him goodbye and promised to text when he got to the Chois' like usual, but there had been something off about him as he left. Junghan could sense it. It didn't surprise him, not really. There was a reason Junghan had never had a boyfriend before, a reason he had kept to casual .

Junghan couldn't exactly help that he'd inherited his father's views on as something casual, just another form of pleasure. As a child he'd heard so many excuses about why his father couldn't make it home from business trips on time -- delayed flights, lost passports, even technology malfunctions or communication mishaps.

But he'd worked it out when he was fourteen and called his dad to say goodnight. He'd heard the and grunting and the bed squeaking. He'd seen by then, he could tell what was going on.

Junghan's father was having with a woman that wasn't Junghan's mother.

And when the pig got home the next day he acted like nothing was different -- kissed Junghan's mum like always, told her he loved her like always, tried to show interest in Junghan's life like always.

Already, Junghan could see parallels between his parents' relationship and his own relationship with Joshua. He, like his father, had a high drive and usually acted on it, although he'd only had his own hands for company since meeting Joshua.

Joshua tended to go along with whatever Junghan wanted without much complaint -- much like Junghan's mother, and Joshua put more into their relationship than Junghan did.

Junghan felt tears drip down his chin and reached around for his phone. He called Jun -- Jun would know how to make him feel better.

"Hey, what's up bunny?"

"My dad just scared off Joshua."

There was a few seconds of silence. "You want to explain? You aren't giving me very much here," Jun crooned.

"Shua was over for dinner, and dad's home, and it was their first time meeting. You know how my dad is -- he brought up the 'Yoon swimmers' and made it all weird and Shua's strange about 'cause of his upbringing or something, and then my dad acted like nothing happened."

"So why's this mean Joshua's scared off?"

"I don't know! Just, what if I'm more like my dad than I think and he realised it and he saw how my parents are trapped in a loveless marriage because of some stupid marks on their skin?"

"Hey, shh bunny. You aren't going to turn out like your parents. Your dad puts before love, but have you been with anyone since meeting Josh?"

"No."

"See? That's the biggest difference. You may be a lot like your dad, but your mum influenced you a lot, too. You feeling better, bunny?"

"Yeah." Junghan shifted so he was more comfortable.

"Great. I'm guessing all this has to do with why your parents had you in a soulmate specialist's office when you were younger?"

"Something like that."

"Well, I won't ask you to go into detail tonight, but soon? We got given that assignment I was talking about."

"Yeah, no prob--"

Junghan was cut off by Jun hissing something in Mandarin. "Sorry, I've got to go. Minghao -- the child can't keep his hands to himself."

"He's a teenager and you're hot -- how do you expect him to?" Junghan laughed.

"He's still a minor, he's a child. Don't you go telling me the same things he does, Yoon Junghan." There was some more Mandarin, and Junghan heard a second voice.

"I'll let you deal with him, then. Bye!" Junghan hung up and threw his phone to the end of his bed.

Jun had someone else -- a different priority. Talking to him hadn't really helped like it used to. Maybe Junghan was better off just going back to his old lifestyle, Joshua would be happier and Junghan could feel physical intimacy and --

Yoon Junghan, you are not your father. You can wait for your other soulmate. Argh, stop lying to yourself -- you can't. His eyes slipped to his phone at the end of his bed. He was pretty sure he still had one guy's number saved.

Junghan shook the thought from his mind. He was not his father, and as much as he craved the intimacy he'd found he could only get through , he wouldn't become a cheating pig.