Joshua laid in Junghan's bed, Junghan's words circling through his mind.

Junghan wanted to know Joshua wasn't disappointed by having him as a soulmate, wanted to feel close to him. And he thought was the way to achieve that.

Joshua rolled over so he was spooning Junghan and wrapped an arm around Junghan's waist. He listened to Junghan's even breathing, focused on Junghan's chest moving. He tried using Junghan's even rhythm to lull him to sleep, or at least calm his mind.

When light started peeping into Junghan's room from where the curtain wasn't pulled over completely, Joshua gave up on sleep. His phone's alarm would go off soon, then he'd have to get up and ready for classes.

Junghan shifted and pulled on the blanket, making some slip off Joshua, who pulled the blanket so it was covering him again. Junghan groaned and rolled over, then snuggled into Joshua.

"Morning," Junghan croaked out, his voice thick with sleep.

"Morning." Joshua placed a kiss to the top of Junghan's hair.

"I got kind of tipsy last night, didn't I?"

Joshua chuckled. "Yeah, just a little."

"Sorry for being a handful and falling asleep on the bus."

"It's fine." Joshua reached a hand up to run through Junghan's long hair, his fingers getting snagged in some knots.

Junghan hummed. He turned his head slightly to peck the skin just above Joshua's collar.

They laid in silence, Joshua Junghan's hair and Junghan placing closed mouth kisses to Joshua's neck.

"You OK, Shua?"

Joshua hesitated. Should he bring up what Junghan had said last night?

"I guess," he began slowly, trying to plan his next few words. "I mean, you remember last night, right?"

"I thought I did, but not if -- oh god, did we finally have or something?"

Joshua shook his head. "No --"

Junghan sighed in relief. "Then I do remember last night."

"You tried to --"

Junghan kissed Joshua's mouth. "I remember. I had alcohol in me, I shouldn't have tried to start anything. I'm sorry. I respect that you want to wait." It sounded perfectly rehearsed, like Junghan had been practising the words, reciting them to himself for hours. Maybe he had.

"Do you remember what you said last night?"

Junghan shrugged and kissed Joshua again. "Like I said, I had alcohol in me. Forget it."

"You said --"

"I know what I said. Forget it, please? People aren't themselves when they're drunk."

Joshua started massaging Junghan's scalp. "Alcohol lowers inhibitions, it doesn't change who are."

Joshua practically heard Junghan's eyes roll. "OK, Mr Facts, still. Forget it."

"Do you really think I'd be disappointed to have you as a soulmate?"

Junghan cocked his head and pouted. "Didn't I ask you to drop it?" He widened his eyes a little, making himself look deceptively innocent, and wriggled so his face was closer to Joshua's.

Joshua braced himself for whatever Junghan would do next.

Junghan winked at him, then leant forward some more --

Joshua's alarm went off.

Joshua could hear the noise coming from under the blankets -- how had he not even bothered to take his phone out of his pocket last night? The alarm stopped. Junghan brought his hand up from under the blankets and dropped Joshua's phone onto his chest.

"We should probably get up," Junghan announced, "but I really don't want to."

Joshua sighed. He had class in an hour and a half, or two, or sometime this morning at least, and Junghan had opening shift at the cafe.

Joshua pushed Junghan playfully. "You have to get up so I can -- I need to get back to the Chois' to get changed before my first class."

Junghan yawned. "Just borrow some of my clothes; we're about the same size."

"That's not the point. You need to get up for work."

Junghan flashed Joshua a mischievous grin. "Just remember you asked for this," he teased before grabbing a tight hold on the blankets and rolling. He landed on the floor with a thump, taking all of the blankets with him.

Joshua groaned. Now he was cold.

Junghan stood up, a self-satisfied grin across his face, and went over to his closet.

"I'm still not dropping last night," Joshua stated. "You tried to get me to have with you despite our agreement."

Junghan took off his shirt. "Really?" he sighed dramatically. "Because I remember saying it didn't have to be ," he said smugly, like he thought he was winning.

Junghan ed his jeans and Joshua turned his attention to the ceiling. He took a few seconds to compose what he wanted to say.

"You cried last night, after you said --"

"Just drop it, ok?" Junghan snapped.

Joshua closed his mouth. He heard Junghan struggling to take off his skinny jeans, then the sound of fabric against fabric. Something fell to the floor and Junghan swore.

Joshua thought maybe he should take a different approach to the situation.

"When you said --" Junghan gave an exasperated sigh. "Just listen, please. When you said it didn't have to be , what did you mean?"

Maybe there were other things that would let Junghan feel close to him that Joshua would be more comfortable doing.

The bed dipped and there was a weight on Joshua's lower torso. Junghan was straddling him.

"I didn't really have anything in mind -- I just wanted to, y'know, be close to you. Feel reassured and wanted."

Junghan leaned forward and his face came into view. His hair fell onto Joshua's face, tickling his nose and cheeks and getting into his eyes. Joshua was struck by how handsome Junghan was.

"Junghan --"

Junghan closed the small gap and pressed his lips against Joshua's, who melted into the kiss.

Junghan bit Joshua's lip. Hard. Joshua gasped in pain, his lips parted, and Junghan took the opportunity to slip his tongue into Joshua's mouth. They continued like that for a few seconds until Junghan pulled back. He pressed a few quick kisses on Joshua's lips, then climbed off Joshua and the bed.

"If you just wanted to make out last night I would have been fine with it."

Junghan made a noise. "Shua, I wanted --" he sighed. "Please, can we just forget about it? It won't happen again."

Joshua rolled over to face Junghan, who was now wearing a pair of pants.

"It isn't about the thing, Junghan." Joshua tried to keep his tone light. He didn't want this turning into a fight. "It's about what you said. If you really feel like that, we have to work on it. Find a way that you can feel close and wanted."

Junghan nodded. "OK, I get it," he said as he put on a shirt, "but I don't feel like that. I was tipsy and and --"

"That's bull, Junghan. You cried last night. Is it really that hard to talk to me?" Joshua sat up and set a gaze on Junghan that he hoped conveyed they were going to talk about it.

Junghan clenched his jaw. He pulled a pair of jeans and a shirt out his closet, then threw them at his bed. "Choose whatever ing jumper or jacket you want."

He stormed out of his room.

Joshua gulped. So maybe he shouldn't have pushed it. He probably should have let it go when Junghan asked him to.

Joshua got off the bed and got changed into Junghan's clothes. Junghan had been right, they were about the same size. Junghan's clothes fit just as well as his own.

He left Junghan's room, unsure whether to just leave or grab some breakfast first.

"Shua, in the kitchen!" Junghan called out, voice sugary as if he hadn't just stormed out of his own room three minutes ago.

Joshua wandered to the kitchen, where he saw Junghan leaning against the sink as he watched his mother pull bowls out of the microwave. Junghan flashed Joshua a smile.

"I was just telling mum that I should have a drawer for your things by now."

Joshua tried not to act as confused as he felt -- obviously Junghan hadn't gotten over it that quickly, right?

He chuckled. "I guess I have stayed over a couple times."

Junghan's mum passed Joshua a bowl and a pair of chopsticks, then started wolfing down her own food.

"I have to leave soon boys -- do you two want a ride to the cafe?"

Junghan shook his head. "No thanks mum, we have time to walk -- Joshua's alarm goes off really early."

She shot her son a look as she placed her bowl in the sink. "What's this? My son voluntarily doing something? Someone call the doctors!" She pecked Junghan's cheeks and waved to Joshua before rushing out the apartment.

Joshua waited for the door to shut before opening his mouth.

"What was that?" he asked cautiously.

Junghan shrugged and looked down to his food, as if what Joshua had to say wasn't important. "What was what?"

Joshua sighed. "You know what. The sweet voice, the calling me Shua. Acting like we didn't just fight."

"I'm sorry, did you want me to be an arse? Ignore you and have my mother give us cautious glances like she used to with my one night stands?"

"No," he took a deep breath and shovelled some food into his mouth. "It was just... weird. I thought you'd be giving me dirty looks and making snide remarks or something. Being passive aggressive."

"Do I seem that petty and immature to you?" Junghan asked, tone laced with indignation.

Joshua looked Junghan in the eye. "Honestly? Yeah, kind of."

Junghan snorted and turned around to rinse his bowl in the sink. "I'm going to call Jihoon and Jun and see if either of them want my shift -- I just want to crawl back into bed. You're welcome to come and join me if you want."

On his way back out the kitchen, Junghan leant towards Joshua and pressed a kiss to his cheek. Joshua felt his eyes widen in shock, and Junghan smiled.

"I get why you want to talk about last night. But yes, it is hard to talk to you. It's hard to talk to pretty much anyone. Just, forget it for now and we can talk about it when I'm more comfortable?"

Joshua nodded. He supposed it probably would be difficult to talk about more personal stuff. Sure, they were soulmates -- but they'd only known each other a couple of weeks. Even if it had felt like months.

Junghan left the room with another peck, this time to Joshua's lips.

Joshua finished up his breakfast, and was rinsing his bowl when he felt Junghan's arms wrap around his waist.

"How serious were you about wanting to know what I was thinking of doing last night?" he whispered into Joshua's ear.

Joshua gulped. How serious had he been? He was curious what Junghan had been thinking about, definitely, but he wasn't sure if he was willing to actually follow through with anything. stuff had always seemed gross when he put himself into the equation.

Junghan laughed. "My precious little nervous? It's OK," he pressed a closed mouth kiss to Joshua's jaw, "we can stop whenever you want to. No . I'll guide you through anything if you get unsure but want to keep going."

Junghan ran a hand through Joshua's hair then started at a spot on Joshua's neck, where it met his shoulder.

"You say stop and we stop. If you want to try something we can. I'll do my best to not make you feel bad for not going all the way."

Joshua realised the tap was still running, water overflowing out of his bowl, so he turned it off.

He weighed things up while Junghan kept , , and kissing his throat. Junghan had cried last night over this, so obviously it was a big deal to him. Soulmates were supposed to cherish and support each other and make one another happy. This would make Junghan happy, and at worst Joshua would be uncomfortable and grossed out. It wasn't worth the argument. If it got too much, they could stop.

"You promise we can stop when I say so?"

Junghan nodded, "Of course, Shua. You enjoying yourself is important to me."

Junghan promised.

Joshua swallowed thickly. "Y-yeah. OK, then. We can do... stuff."

Junghan's arms tightened around Joshua's waist, and Junghan pressed closer against Joshua.

"So, are we -- here? Or?"

Junghan chuckled. "No, we'll head to my room." Junghan took Joshua's hand in his own, their fingers slotted together perfectly, and led Joshua to his room.

Joshua sat on the bed, nervous and more than slightly uncomfortable. Junghan stood in front of him, obviously thinking.

"Do you want music on? Candles? Obviously curtain closed. Lights on or off? My curtains are thin enough that the sun'll --"

"Junghan, shut up. Just, come over here. Your rambling's making me even more nervous."

Junghan nodded, his cheeks turned a little pink, and went over and straddled Joshua's thighs. He leaned in and started kissing Joshua, tugged at his lip gently to ask for entrance, then slipped his tongue in when Joshua opened his mouth.

They made out for a while and Joshua relaxed; it was something he was comfortable with.

Junghan's hands held the back of Joshua's neck, caressed his cheeks, moved across his back and shoulders and chest. Junghan's fingers tangled in his hair, swiped gently over his eyelids and cheekbones, traced gentle patterns over his skin.

It was slow and gentle. Caring. Comfortable.

At some point Junghan took their shirts off and Joshua felt the cold nip at his exposed torso. But the kisses and touches remained almost chaste, so Joshua felt no desire to stop. They were just conveying their care for each other.

Joshua felt Junghan's bulge grow steadily harder, felt it press against his stomach. Obviously it all didn't seem as innocent to Junghan as it did to him.

Joshua stiffened when Junghan ground down onto him. Junghan stopped and set his hands on Joshua's shoulders.

"You ok? That didn't make you uncomfortable, did it? We can stop --"

Joshua rolled his hips. It was fine, he just hadn't expected it. Junghan had ground against him while they'd made out before. It was fine. Really.

So the innocent making out turned less innocent. And Joshua wasn't completely comfortable anymore, but Junghan was making noises and smiling and enjoying himself. And that was Joshua's job as his soulmate -- to help Junghan be happy. Besides, it wasn't all bad, he was at least getting some primitive, animalistic pleasure. Which was nice.

Suddenly, it was boring. Joshua wasn't even enjoying himself in the slightest. He moved his hands to Junghan's waist and pulled his mouth away from Junghan's.

"When are we getting to the other stuff?"

Junghan shrugged. "I was waiting for you to loosen up and get comfortable."

Joshua shrugged. "Can we just get to it? What are we going to do, each other off or something?"

Junghan laughed. "Do you want to make a small change to our agreement, Shua?" he teased.

Joshua blinked. What else was there to do besides , s, and s?

"Oral is a type of , Joshua," Junghan explained, his tone playful. He started drawing patterns on Joshua's chest with his index finger. "I was thinking we'd keep our pants on today. Just kissing and grinding and groping."

Joshua let out a sigh of relief. He could deal with all that, with only minor discomfort.

Junghan smirked smugly and dipped his head down to at Joshua's collarbones. He trailed kisses down Joshua's chest until he got to one of Joshua's s, then started playing with it with his mouth.

When Joshua gave no response, Junghan pulled back. "Nothing? That's OK --"

"Was there supposed to be something?" Joshua asked.

Junghan shrugged. "Some guys like it when you play with their s, other guys don't."

Joshua s a hand up to Junghan's chest. "Do you?"

"Sometimes."

Joshua bent his head down to take one of Junghan's s in his mouth, like Junghan had with him. Junghan breathed in sharply, and manoeuvred them so he was on his back on the bed, Joshua hovering over them.

Junghan rolled his hips, and Joshua pulled away. It was suddenly too much. Not just making out, it was suddenly too much like --

"Too much?" Junghan asked.

Joshua hesitated before speaking, unsure whether to tell the truth or not. It was too much, but Junghan was enjoying himself so much.

"Yes, too much," Junghan answered for him. "I want you to tell me the truth, Shua, 'kay? If you're uncomfortable, tell me."

"But you seem really happy. Why should I --"

"Because you're my soulmate. Because you're important to me. Because I don't want you to feel pressured to do anything you don't want to."

Joshua had to hold back a snort -- they were doing this because of what Junghan had said the night before.

Junghan moved one of Joshua's legs so only one was between Junghan's, then rolled his hips against Joshua's thigh.

"This better? Maybe, with us laying down, rolling our against each other was too much like for my precious ."

Joshua pressed his thigh against Junghan's crotch experimentally, then nodded.

"Yeah, this feels better." Not good, but better.

They continued like that, hips rolling, kissing messily, for a couple more moments before Joshua moved his hand to Junghan's crotch. He cupped Junghan, telling himself it was just some kind of vegetable or something.

Junghan rolled them over then climbed off Joshua.

"That's enough," he panted.

Joshua gave him a confused look. There was next to no way Junghan had gotten bored like Joshua had ages ago.

"I don't really want to come in my pants," Junghan supplied. "It's been a while since, well anything."

Joshua stood up off of the bed. "Oh, right. I'll leave, then."

"Or you could watch? And finish yourself off, too," Junghan suggested as Joshua turned to leave.

"Umm." Joshua's brain short circuited. He was fine just waiting for Josh junior to calm down on his own, but Junghan sounded hopeful.

Junghan made the decision for him.

"You can just go to the bathroom, if you want. Take a shower -- there's clean towels in the cupboard under the kitchen sink. There'll be another chance for me to see your ." Junghan looked like he was trying to brush it off as no big deal, but his tone gave away that he was at least a little put out.

Joshua shook his head, if he was going to do this he was going to do more than just stuff they'd already done. He sat back down on the bed, reaching his hand out to Junghan's crotch and his jeans. Junghan had been patient, Joshua told himself his soulmate deserved something. 

"I," he swallowed and took a moment to compose himself. "I could, you know --" he made the gesture for . "Finish you off?" he finished awkwardly. Junghan's mouth fell open and he looked taken aback. "If you want," Joshua added on hurriedly. Junghan nodded vehemently and Joshua wiped his sweaty palm on his thigh.

He watched as Junghan ped his jeans and pulled himself out of his underwear. He gulped, and tried not to think of what the hell he'd just signed himself up for. He supposed he could just imagine it was own.

After Junghan had made a mess over his sheets and Joshua's hand, he smiled contentedly at Joshua, his eyes still glazed over and his face red. The mix of emotions Joshua felt must've shown on his face, because Junghan leaned in and gave him a soft kiss.

"Don't worry, you did well, my precious little ," he murmured, then nuzzled his forehead into Joshua's cheek. He rested his chin on Joshua's shoulder and Joshua heard the puffs of air as Junghan's breathing slowly turned regular.

"Um, the -- the ," Joshua reminded Junghan, unsure what to call it. it was starting to dry, and he just wanted it off his hand.

Junghan giggled. "Just go wash it off in the bathroom -- I'll go put my sheets in the wash."

Joshua grabbed his phone off Junghan's bedside table with his left hand before darting out the room. He washed his hand off with what seemed like half the bottle of soap, then went to the living room and sat on the couch. He grabbed the remote off the coffee table and turned the TV on.

He needed time to process what the hell he'd just done and worry about the consequences.