A/N:

I know it's been a while since I last uploaded. I haven't written any of this fic in months, for no other reason than I kind of find it difficult to write? I have to keep in line with the timeline of AITS, which is something I find very hard. Originally this fic was supposed to be a bunch of snippets of events, dialogue, texts, emails -- however I felt like telling the story. It was meant to be shorter, maybe 20-30k tops. This is... obviously not that. I don't enjoy writing this fic anymore, and I honestly haven't for a while. I'm probably not ever going to finish this fic. It's an important fic to me, writing my first aual character, but it's not the fic I wanted it to be, and it's not a fic I want to write anymore. I'm uploadung what I have of chapter twenty five and I'll edit the couple of snippets I have and upload them. Then I'll move into my next fic. Thank you for understanding! 

(I feel so dang dramatic writing this.)

The next day Joshua was with Junghan, the two on the phone with Seungcheol while they enjoyed the hour they had free. Joshua had another class after, and Junghan had work. They could hear Little Rascal in the background, talking about how she wanted ice cream and that no, it wasn't too cold! She wouldn't get sick!

Joshua's phone vibrated in his pocket, and he pulled it out to check it. A notification saying he had an email from his mother.

Joshua swore his heart stopped.

"Hey, you okay?" Junghan asked, nudging Joshua lightly.

Joshua nodded, not wanting to make it a big deal. He unlocked his phone and clicked through to the email, scanning it.

His mother had skipped the pleasantries, jumping straight into telling him if he didn't want to do anything Junghan did he should talk to Junghan as soon as possible about it before he got too used to anything. Then she said if it felt different from anything he'd felt for any of his other boyfriends it was probably love, that he needed to stop over thinking and love usually happened quite quickly with soulmates. Then she shared what was going on with her, continued the chronicles of one of the old ladies at church and finished by saying he was her only child -- she'd always be there if he wanted or needed advice.

Joshua let out a sigh of relief, the email had been much less patronising than he'd expected and treated him like the capable young adult he was becoming. He locked his phone and stuck it back into his pocket.

"Are you two listening to what I'm saying? 'Cause I just told you the punchline," Seungcheol's voice came through the receiver. In the background, Little Rascal was laughing like she'd just heard the funniest joke.

"Sorry, got distracted," Joshua apologised. "I got a reply from my mum. She reacted much better than I thought she would. There are -- She told me the same thing you did." Joshua tried to make it sound like what they were talking about wasn't a big deal. He didn't want Junghan to feel left out of anything.

Seungcheol made a surprised sound. "Really? That's great! Are we --"

"What are you both keeping from me?" Junghan accused.

"We'll talk later, Hannie." Joshua kissed Junghan's cheek. "I promise. I'll explain things soon, in private. I just need to organise my thoughts."

Junghan's eyebrows furrowed and Joshua could see a million thoughts flitterring through his mind.

Junghan looked Joshua in the eyes, insecurity glittering in Junghan's . "You promise? You -- you know how I am,  Shua." Junghan leaned his head on Joshua's  shoulder.  "You know I'm insecure. You're just keeping something from me until you know how to say it without me overreacting, right?"

Joshua wrapped an arm around Junghan, pulling him in closer. "Cheol wasn't even supposed to find out. This is something about me, let me -- wait until I'm ready before I tell you. I dont think you'll react very well."

Junghan snorted as he moved his head back to look at Joshua. "I love you. Why wouldn't I react well?"

Joshua tucked a piece of Junghan's hair behind his ear. "Just trust me and don't push me. I'll tell you in my own time."

Junghan nodded. "Of course." He straightened his back, smiling again. "Cheollie, thanks for being there for Shua with... whatever's up."

"It's fine. Don't feel bad though, angel. I only know because I was there at a bad time and forced it out of him."

Junghan blew a kiss through the phone. "I'm glad you did if it means he's got someone helping him out."

*

Instead of spending time with his soulmates after he'd finished clases for the day, Joshua went back to the Chois' and pulled out all his text books. It was really time for him to get studying, studying was a good way to get his mind off the whole thing. And he really wanted to get his mind off the whole thing.

He'd gotten stuck into it and was pacing around his room repeating vocabulary to himself when there was a knock at his door. Mrs Choi poked her head in. "Would you be able to leave the house tomorrow evening for a couple hours after six? Hansol's having Seungkwan over so they can talk about things."

Joshua nodded. When Seungkwan and Vernon had found out a few weeks ago that they were soulmates, they'd had a huge argument and hadn't talk since. Vernon had spent his time since then learning everything he could about soulmates and the soulmate bond and analysing his feelings for his best friend. Joshua had had a couple conversations with the kid about everything on their occasional early morning walks to the cafe.

"Yeah, of course -- I'm pretty sure Seungcheol mentioned something about going out tomorrow night." Even if he hadn't, Joshua would find a reason to be out the house.

Mrs Choi smiled and nodded appreciatively, then backed out of his room. Immediately, Joshua reached for his phone.

Wed, 11 Nov

6:27 pm

Hey, we're going out tomorrow night, right? U said smth about a performance, didn't u?

6:29 pm

yeah, i did. wonwoos coming with, he heard me practising at hoonies and says i sound half decent this time. i thought u said u were gonna study? 

6:31 pm

Vernon wants the house for a couple hours, everyone has to make themselves scarce. Guess I'll finally get to meet wonwoo properly, find out what ur other friends like

6:31 pm

if u mean i onlu have two friends im deeply offended

6:32 pm

angels bugging me, says he wants to talk to u

6:35pm

he says it isnt fair for u to leave him on read

6:36 pm

I'm sorry, hannie, I left my phone unlocked. I'm studying again, I just needed to check that with cheol

Joshua rolled over, making sure to lock his phone, and picked up his list of words to memorise. Sighing, he resigned himself to his task. Only five words left.

*

Junghan nestled his face into the crook of Joshua's neck. He giggled, his hot breath hitting Joshua's skin. Joshua shivered.

In the seats next to them, Jihoon and Wonwoo were discussing Seungcheol's performance. Jihoon didn't seem as drunk as he usually did after one of Seungcheol's performances, Joshua wasn't sure if it was because Wonwoo was with them or because Seungcheol had done well that night.

"He did well tonight, didn't he?" Junghan shouted into Joshua's ear. He nodded before Joshua could respond. "I think he deserves a drink. I'll buy him a drink, he deserves it." Junghan's face lit up, and Joshua felt one of Seungcheol's hands on his back. "I'm gonna buy you a drink! You did so well, Cheollie, you deserve one!"

"Ok angel, buy me the cheapest beer this place has."

Junghan turned to face the bar, a hand out in front of him and his most charming smile on to catch the bartender's attention.

"He's so cute," Seungcheol fawned.

"Yeah, he is," Joshua agreed. Seungcheol jumped, blushing. Joshua shrugged, nudging Seungcheol with his shoulder. "I'm not judging you, he's the cutest. You don't lose manliness points for thinking your soulmate's adorable."

"I was surprised you heard, it's really loud here!"

"There was a dip in the music right when you said it," Joshua explained.

Seungcheol nodded. "Of course there was. I should go talk to Jihoon and Wonwoo, make sure I did as well as I think I did."

Joshua leaned over and pecked Seungcheol's jaw. "You did, it's why Hannie's buying you a drink. But, Hannie also got you a drink last time you really . So go on, go check with the professional." Joshua grinned cheekily.

Seungcheol cupped Joshua's cheek. "I noticed that little remark in the middle there." He kissed Joshua.

Suddenly, there was something icy cold against their mouths. They pulled back in shock. Joshua opened his eyes to see a beer bottle.

"I always miss out on the cute stuff," Junghan pouted. "You two are always excluding me."

Joshua froze, his mind jumping to Junghan being kept in the dark about him not wanting to have . He and Seungcheol had said Junghan would find out eventually, that Joshua would tell him when he was ready.

"Angel, you know how precious you are to both of us," Seungcheol said, managing to make it sound gentle even at the loud volume they were talking in.

Junghan pulled back a little, his hands hooking around Joshua's neck for balance. "It was a joke, you don't both really think I'm that fragile, do you?"

Seungcheol shrugged. "Sometimes its hard to tell."

Junghan stared accusingly at Joshua. All Joshua could do was stare back, sometimes Junghan did seem that insecure.

"It's fine angel, you know we don't mind helping you work through your insecurities. We care about you." Seungcheol leaned in and gave him a kiss. "I'm gonna go chat to Jihoon and Wonwoo."

Junghan nodded and held up the beer. Seungcheol grinned and took it from Junghan with another kiss.

The icy air hit Joshua as the group stepped out the club. He tightened his arm around Junghan's waist, glad the others weren't as drunk as they usually were. He watched in amusement as Seungcheol tried to convince a fairly sober Jihoon to climb up on his back.

"C'mon, Hoonie. How often do I do that well? Someone asked where to find it online!"

"Exactly, you did well. I'm not drunk enough for the you get me to do." Seungcheol looked hurt for a split second before covering it up with an over exaggerated pout. Jihoon jerked his head before ducking it. He shifted his weight and stepped closer to Seungcheol. "Help me up on your back, then."

Seungcheol broke into a huge grin, looking around. "Wonwoo!" he called out. "Help me get Hoonie up on my back -- he's in a good mood tonight!"

"Shush, Cheollie, you're always so loud!" Junghan spoke up, his face lit up in elation.

Joshua chuckled. "It's fine, Hannie, this is a loud street." Junghan looked at him, unconvinced.

"He's still always really loud." Junghan leaned his side into Joshua's, looking fondly at Seungcheol and Jihoon's direction. "They almost make better soulmates then we do with him." He sighed. "Jihoon told me once that he --"

"Hannie, " Joshua interrupted, "this probably isn't yours to share."

Junghan nodded into Joshua's shoulder. "I hate that they're so close." He looked up, eyes fixated on the top of the building across from them. "I hate that it bothers me that they're so close. What kind of soulmate am I?" He swallowed, and Joshua pecked his temple.

Joshua watched Wonwoo help Jihoon clamber on Seungcheol's back as he waited for Junghan to continue. 

"You feel like you can't tell me something and I'm jealous over Seungcheol and his best friend. I know I don't need to be, Seungcheol's so devoted to us, but --" Junghan's voice cracked just as Seungcheol and Wonwoo started walking over to them.

Junghan buried his head into Joshua's neck, his wet face sliding across Joshua's bare skin.

"Shua! Why can't we stay out later? I'm hardly drunk!" Junghan whined as he pulled away from Joshua, a playful smirk pulling at the corners of his mouth.

Joshua's heart broke, how many times had Junghan done that that he could flip the switch so easily?

Joshua gave an exaggerated sigh, trying to compose himself as quickly as Junghan had. "Don't you have work in the morning?"

Junghan shook his head. "Jun. He's an angel. We don't have to drink anything, Shua. I just don't want to go home quite yet."

"We could go to McDonald's," Wonwoo suggested. "I've already agreed to meet up with Mingyu."

Jihoon groaned. Seungcheol hit his leg. "Be nice, Hoonie, we all know you're fond of the kid."

Junghan nodded eagerly. "Yes! Burgers sound so good right now."

When they stepped inside the still crowded McDonald's, Joshua checked the time on his phone. It was only quarter past nine.

Mingyu waved enthusiastically from the table he was seated at, large enough for all of them to join him.

Wonwoo leaned in to Jihoon. Jihoon pointed to a few things on the menu then joined Mingyu at the table.

Junghan placed his head on Joshua's shoulder. "I'll order for us. What do you want?"

"Just a large chips, I guess."

"Cheollie?"

Joshua glanced to Seungcheol, who looked slightly constipated.

"Uh, a burger. And maybe a coke?" Seungcheol reached for his wallet.

Junghan pushed Seungcheol's arm down. "My treat. You two go sit down." He gave Joshua and Seungcheol a kiss on the cheek each. Then, he nudged them toward the group.

"You're such a child! I can't believe one of my best friends is your soulmate." Jihoon wiped tomato sauce off his hand with a napkin.

Mingyu grinned and pushed his chips towards Jihoon. "You tried to steal a chip that had sauce on it. I didn't do anything."

Jihoon shook his head. "Would you believe the nerve of this kid?" he asked Seungcheol. "Does it sound like me to steal chips? Especially when I've got some of my own coming?"

Joshua eyed the space between Mingyu and Jihoon. He'd heard Jihoon complain about Mingyu before, but it was obvious he was fond of him.

Seungcheol in a breath. "It sounds exactly like the type of thing you'd do."

The banter settled when Junghan and Wonwoo joined them.