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17/5/2015

It's getting a bit painful,

smiling around Sehun.

Because inside my mind,

I know that one day soon,

I'll be gone.

21/5/2015

There's a stone in my

stomach and it's making me

feel sick.

9/6/2015

I hope he'll be happy

when I'm gone. I hope

he'll find someone.

I hope he'll fall in love.

I hope he never stops smiling.

Just one more day.

That's all I need.

"No you fool!" Sehun exclaimed, hurling the book at the wall, "No! I'm not happy! Not one bit!" Sehun screamed at the silence, clutching at his hair.  He lashed out at the bedside table, knocking the lamp and the odd bits and pieces on it. He turned over the mattress, he wasn't going to sleep ever again anyway. He pounded on the thin walls, making them cave, like his heart had caved in. He hit everything in his path, blindly, wildly, creating chaos but that chaos wasn't even a fraction of the depth of his pain. Aching and bruised, Sehun crashed down on the floor again, crawling to the journal and picking it up like he were nursing an infant. He read on.