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5/6/2014

.

I feel like I'm losing my mind.

How many nights will I

feel so alone?

How long will I be so alone?

I want to die but I'm afraid I'm just going straight to hell.

But what could be worse than this?

God you insufferable prick, I hate you so much.

This is blasphemy, I know and one day I might regret it

but right now I really can't bring myself to care.

I just want to destroy something right now, like life has

destroyed me.

I hate myself, no one can hate me more than I can hate myself,

I hate everyone and everything and......I wish I could just stop feeling.

14/6/2014

Pain. It's all I feel.

17/6/2014

Tired.

Sehun wasn't aware of when he had started crying but the tears he thought had ceased dripped endlessly from his eyes. Sehun noted that some entries were short, sometimes just one word while others were longer, sometimes there was one date for two entries but other entries were days, even weeks apart.

Reading Luhan's journal was gut-wrenching. Sehun wanted to vomit. But he couldn't bring his legs to function. Only his eyes skimming over the dead pages and his hand turning each page over functioned. Everything else seemed to be out of his control. Agony and sorrow seeped into his bones, Sehun could do nothing but keep reading. The worst was yet to come.