Reviewer; Joolay

Now playing; 5Dolls - Like this or like that

Title: 3/5

The title wasn't that intriguing to me, but short and sweet, I like it that way.

Poster: 7/10

The words on the poster were really meaningful and the background was really nice. It suited the mood, but maybe the two main characters' pictures should them with a sorrow face? It would definitely fit with the tone that the story has been mainly going through.

Description and Foreword: 8/10

I loved the description. Because it was such a short description, it made me so interested in the story. It was meaningful, but maybe a little cliché.

Your foreword was great too. It was short, so you didn't reveal much of the story but maybe you shouldn't state that HyunA was lying at the bed lifeless as it revealed that she would be gone which means this story would have a sad ending and that might chase away some readers because I'm sure most of the shippers would love their couple together. I'm personally not a fan of sad endings and for me, I wouldn't be so happy to read on.

Plot: 8/10

Your plot was realistic, all these were possible. The reason of the break up seemed possible, and they weren't the kind where the main character sees the guy with another female and then a misunderstanding occurs. The story was nice, but I felt that maybe HyunA fainted too many times. I'm not saying that you can only allow her to faint once, but after reading the fainting incident once, I didn't really feel that interested when HyunA fainted again. It just makes it seems like you ran out of ideas. Lastly, about the bracelet and couple rings, I wasn't that fond of it when you used the bracelet as one of the important things to HyunA. I mean, the bracelet and couple rings idea felt too similar to me and I think having one important gift/object would be enough as having two of them makes the sentimental value drop.

Originality: 12/15

I don't really find anymore of these stories where it's really the idols' lives, and you made used of Junhyung and Hara's real news quite well.

Flow: 8/10

The flow was very nice, but maybe you should cut down on the parts where HyunA was being sad over the break up. It bored me a little.

Grammar/ vocabulary/punctuation/spelling: 18/20

I actually didn't spot anything wrong when I was reading the story. But there was one thing.In chapter 18, the paragraph about HyunA's thoughts on losing things.

"Anything but not the gifts he gave me."

It did make sense but I felt that there wasn't a need for the 'not'. The 'not' seems unnecessary for the point you're trying to show.

writing style: 9/10

I love the way you write. It's the style that I love the most. Everything was described well, making it easy for readers to imagine, especially feelings. It makes readers more attached to the story, and relate, for some of them. How do I say this.. You 'Italic-ed' the words which were supposed to be the thoughts of the characters. I liked that because it got rid of lesser 'she/he thought'. Too many times of it appearing makes the story annoying.

Overall enjoyment: 8/10

I really enjoyed the story. It was realistic, described well, and it was an idolxidol pairing. And I prefer idolxidol pairings. 

In all, 81/100.

Congrats! ;-p You scored really well, and I personally think that your story should be recommended. So your story would be featured in our recommendations sections. ;-p I hope this has further improved your writing and I hope to see more of your works. ;-)

Hugs and kisses,

Joolay♡