Reviewer; Joolay

Now playing; YTF- Your Kisses

Title: 3/5

I wasn't that fond of the title. Because it just summarized the story into one line. Something short and sweet would be better.

Poster: 6/10

I felt that the poster didn't really fit into the story. The poster should sort of give off a playful mood.  Maybe Dongwoon's picture could be of him winking, or a smirk. IU's picture was fine. The poster would look nicer if there was more colour. Instead of white as the background, maybe a bright yellow? A primary colour would be pretty good.

Description and Foreword: 6/10

I liked your description. It was a summary from the back of the book. Short and sweet. Although you did give out quite a bit of details, it was still fine. Just cut out some of the important details about the plot. Also, the part about Dongwoon can be shorten as well. It was about how Dongwoon was this charming rich, egotistical guy. That paragraph bores me a little. Don't repeat the same points in different sentences.

As for your foreword, it was your message to the readers so there was nothing for me to grade. But if you were to want to make the story more professional, maybe you could add in a preview of the story. Don't reveal too much though. Maybe just some snippets of lines from the story, or like how some books do them, give a paragraph or two of the beginning of your story. I don't recommend this unless your story's a long one.

Plot: 6/10

It's a little predictable. IU will fall in love with Dongwoon, vice versa for Dongwoon, Dongwoon will stop his ways as a Casanova. They end up together. The end. Let me make this clear, I'm not trying to insult your plot or anything. I'm just being strict, and after all, I'm the kind who go for realistic plots. These kind of plots only work for me if it's a drama with handsome actresses and actors. So because I knew what would happened, I was a little bored when I read your story. I don't mean you have to make the characters die or something to make it interesting because it was an unpredictable action. To spice up the story, you could maybe make things more realistic. The dogs as a threat shouldn't be used. It's a little to minor for IU to feel forced to stay. You should also beef up on the struggle of IU in the decision making. Should she stay or not? Why?

 Lastly, I felt that you should have used IU's real name instead. Reading and seeing 'IU' in the story ruins the nice vibe sometimes. It's her stage name after all. But if you wanted to use IU through the story, have a part where you mention why IU wants to be called this way. 

Originality: 7/15

I've read quite a bit of stories like this. I watched a drama about this kind of plot too. It's a little more of the common ones.

Flow: 5/10

It was very fast for me. For this kind of plot, it would actually be better if it was made as a chaptered story. A one shot for this type of plots is a little too much. But if your intention was to write a one shot, you could lessen the complications of the plot. Because you were trying to squeeze in many things, there wasn't just enough time for things to develop. 

Grammar/ vocabulary/punctuation/spelling: 14/20

Everything was fine. There wasn't many mistakes, almost none actually. But do take note. Use a comma after the character's words if you were to describe how the character is going to say it unless it's supposed to be a question or exclaimed.

For example:

"Fine," he pouted and ate the food.

"You're cute," he beamed.

writing style: 7/10

I do like how you describe some of the things so it makes it easy for the readers to imagine out the story. It would be better if you were to describe even more, throw in better vocabulary too. 

Overall enjoyment: 6/10

I wasn't very interested in finding out what will happen because, like I said, the plot led to a very predictable ending. For a one-shot, try to tone down the complications. If not, this plot with a twist as a chaptered story might turn out very interesting.

In all, 60/100.

Hopefully, this has helped you in your writing and I hope your future works would be successful. 

Hugs and kisses,

Joolay♡