Reviewer; Joolay

Now Playing; GD & Park Myungsoo Ft. Bom- Having an Affair

Title: 3/5

The title was pretty okay. It's pretty unique. ;-)

Poster: 10/10

I seriously have to give full marks here. The poster is so well done! It matched the style you were going for. It's so amazing, the poster shop really does nice posters. Heh. And The background was lovely too ;-) 

Description and Foreword: 4/10

Well, your description was a note to your readers so I have nothing to grade on. I felt that your foreword should have just the summary. I'm not fond of character profiles so you lost marks here. And I like the quote though. Very intriguing.

Plot: 7/10

Since it was more to the Christmas plots, I liked this one. Usually for Christmas, many people would be writing about the concepts of the mistletoes, hot chocolate and all. And I like secret Santas. ;-p Makes oneself feel loved.

However, I didn't really understand why Aoi would be that upset about the secret Santa issue. I find it a little too minor. I think if you were still use this issue as the conflict, I suggest that you describe with a lot more detail about Aoi's feelings. 

Originality: 13/15

Like I said, not the usual Christmas plots! ;-) And I liked how you wrote that it was about making the people feel happy, not because it's Christmas and to follow traditions, that's why there's the need to give gifts. Heartwarming. heheh ;-p

Flow: 7/10

The flow was nice, It felt like lazy Sundays in the afternoon. No rushed feelings, just going with the flow. 

Grammar/ vocabulary/punctuation/spelling: 16/20

Overall, things are fine. But maybe use more descriptive words? Just increase the vocabulary area, and it will make the story especially enjoyable. It works even more for a one-shot, since it's supposed to be short. Short and impactful, you know? ;-p

writing style: 8/10

It's really close to my ideal style of writing. Just beef up with the details and it would be really fantastic. 

Overall enjoyment: 8/10

I like the warm feeling I had when I was reading the part about the secret Santa game. But I didn't see the need to keep their relationship a secret. Perhaps it was to allow the conflict to happen but maybe it would be better if Mika was a jealous friend who is selfish too? I'm not sure about that, but with more imagination, I'm sure something nice and unique will fit. ;-)

In all, 76/100.

Good luck for your future works. And thanks for being such a loyal requester! ;-) Heh. I hope our reviews have been helping you! ;-p

Hugs and kisses,

Joolay♡