I sighed dreamily as I luxuriously basked in the grand sight of Josh’s amazing body. This is what I chose to do on my day off…hang out at the beach where Josh is the most delectable life guard. With a lifeguard like that, who wouldn’t want to drown? Of course I chose to just sunbake, a book at hand which serves as a prop and a pair of dark sunglasses so no one could tell how long I have actually been staring at his oh-so-glorious iness!

I woke up early today to get prepared…showered, scrubbed, shaved and applied a thin layer of make-up to stand a chance against those other women vying for his attention. Even though I was dying for a swim, I could not ruin my carefully designed hairstyle and risk an appearance that’s worthy of a cameo on a horror movie…complete with black mascara running down my cheeks. After all, I have made quite an effort to beautify myself.

Gerald: Here’s your juice, oh beautiful maiden!

“Oh holy ghost!” As usual, his timing is impeccable…causing me to squirt a whole chunk of white gooey sunblock on my leg.

“For goodness’ sake Gerald! Can’t you learn to make a subtle entrance like normal people? Must you pop out unannounced in a slasher-movie manner everytime?”

Gerald: Good morning to you too sunshine! Are you going to take this juice so I can scoop some of that sunblock off you? My arm is starting to get sunburnt.

“Are you a cabana boy now? I thought last time I checked, you were my carpenter supposedly working hard to make the deadline? I am not paying you next to nothing so you can bum around at the beach and e on girls in bikinis!”

Gerald: Geez, did you skip your anger management pills again today Ms. Cranky Pants?

“Excuse me but any perfectly sane woman would bite your head off too if their moment of heavenly, lustful reverie got rudely interrupted!”

Gerald: Sorry Ms. Stalker but I was just heading to East Gardens to get some supplies. I was wondering if you wanted to do something better than just stare rather desperately, at half- lifeguards?

“Correction…Not just any half- lifeguard! A way hunky, delectable, effortlessly gorgeous, lifeguard! And no, there is no better thing to do than stare at that!”

Gerald: You really shouldn’t skip your sanity meds hun. Looks like your affliction is degenerative.

“Why are you still here? I thought you had an errand to do? I want to regain my peace and get back to oogling Josh so shoo!”

Gerald: Wanna come with me?

“As if it isn’t obvious enough…NO! Like I would really give up such spectacular sight just so I can get stuck in a road trip with you!”

Okay, I admit…I have actually been avoiding Gerald. Well…as much avoidance as one could muster considering he always seems to pop up out of nowhere. It’s been over a week since that bizarre night when his lips re-introduced themselves to mine in a mind-shattering manner, completely disturbing and infiltrating my thoughts.

I don’t like this unwelcome invasion of my brain at all. For so many years now, my system had been pre-programmed to revolve around Josh. Lately however, I find myself comparing these two men as if Gerald could really be a contender. A lustful, giddy feeling still floods my system everytime I see Josh but the difference this time is, there is another voice inside my head…an evil, nagging sort of voice…a voice that’s making me aware of Gerald’s drop-dead delicious body and just as grabable .

On many occasions, I have caught myself checking out parts of his anatomy and get that same giddy feeling I get while looking at Josh’s assets. It’s sooo sick! It’s committing adultery and all at once! Surely I’ll be roasted in hell for this.

So okay, technically I still have grounds for an appeal to that whole hell-roasting fate...Technically, I am not cheating on Josh since he is not yet aware that I am his future bride…and I am not really lusting for my own flesh and blood since Gerald and I don’t share the same DNA…we have only shared fluids. Still, it feels weird.

“Hey what are you doing taking my stuff?”

Gerald: I’m helping you get into the car. Or would you rather I carry you too?

“Arrrghhh! You are such a brat! What part of no do you not understand?”

Gerald: It’s much more fun to be in the company of someone that would actually talk to you and you know it. Besides, I think Josh is starting to wonder about your mental state. He was looking at you weirdly while you were pretend-reading your book upside down.

“I was not! No way! You’re bluffing. ! Tell me you’re bluffing!”

Gerald: Come on hun, get out now before he comes and questions your motives.

“Dammit Ge! Why do you always do this?!”

Gerald: Huh? What did I do?

“Why do you always point out what I’m doing wrong especially when it comes to Josh? Now you’re getting me all self-conscious. You always do this you punk! I can’t even look at him without getting all blushed now!”

Gerald: Don’t worry honey, I doubted the guy even knows what a book is supposed to look like.

“Oohh, sorrrry! We can’t all be nerds like you.”

Gerald: Good one, especially coming from someone who graduated top of her class!”

“Whatever! He may not have graduated uni nor co-managed a multi-million dollar company, but Josh is street smart. That is just as impressive.”

Josh: Hey Kim!

“Holy mother of shoes! Josh! Hi!”

Oh !

How did he get here so fast? Is he aware that we’ve been talking about him? Oh mighty sand on this beach, open up and swallow me now!

Josh: Who are you guys talking about? I thought I heard my name.

“No no! We were talking about a completely different Josh. You know, Josh being quite a common name and all. A hobo actually. A friend of Gerald’s who lives on the streets but a real smart guy. Yep. That Josh. Not someone good-looking and nice smelling. This Josh is quite stinky in fact…”

Okay, this would be a good time to stop this blabbering.

“Uhm, do you need anything Josh?”

Josh: I have actually been wanting to come over all morning to say hello but we got quite busy, you know.

Am I hearing him right? He’s been watching me all morning and possibly even love me too?!! Oh my God! I can die happy now!!

Okay, okay…I’m getting a little ahead of myself. I heard perfectly that he only wanted to say hello but our romance has got to start somewhere, right? I’m simply fast forwarding our love story!

“It’s my day off today and I thought this is a perfect day to relax at the beach.”

Josh: That’s nice. Do you get tonight off too?

“Oh yeah, it’s the one day of the week that I get to hand over all the responsibilities to Mel.”

Josh: Great! I’ll keep that in mind. Well, I’ll see you around guys.

“Oh. My. God! The guy is so secretly in love with me too! Somebody pinch me!”

The idiot Gerald who had the biggest scowl on his face, took my words literally and pinched me hard.

“Ouch! What the heck is wrong with you?”

Gerald: Kimberly, I witnessed the whole conversation and I never recalled him saying anything about love! For a guy who dates around a lot, his moves pretty much …if he is trying to make a move that is. What is he going to gain by saying he’ll keep your schedule in mind? Why can’t he just ask you outright? How old does he think you are? A high schooler?

“Geez, calm down! Take a chill pill! Grabe ka naman kung maka-react! At least this craziness of mine finally has direction…I’m another step closer towards Josh’s bedroom!”

Gerald: Huh! Bedroom?! He’d have to get through your dad, Matt and me first! Goodluck na lang sa kanya!

“Ge, I know behind that protective big brother exterior, you are happy for my success…you just don’t like the idea of handing over a thousand bucks and admitting that I’m the winner.”

Gerald: Happy my ! It’s not about the money Kim. And FYI, we are not related.

“Well, I think it’s real cute that he has feelings for me but had been too shy to admit it. It gives our romance that kind of childish, cutesy feel.”

Gerald: What feelings? Girl, you’re delusional! He said hello. Don’t get too ahead of yourself.

“Bakit ba ang sungit mo ha? Here I am in my moment of glory and if you can’t be happy for me, just shut it and leave me alone! You’re the one invading my space, listening in to my private conversations!

Gerald: Fine! Have a nice life with that puny-brained, lifeguard!