As she sat up and tried to busy herself by eating some grapes, I can’t seem to take my eyes away from her. 

Kim:  Will you quit smiling like that?

“You’re adorable.”

Kim:  Stop it!

I wonder if I could ever find a way to show her how much I really love her.  It took me a few years before I realized the extent of my affections.  Back in high school, I had the biggest crush on her.  Of course, I couldn’t act on it since she’s my bestfriend’s sister and Matt warned me from the very beginning that she’s off limits.  I used to look forward to coming over to their place so I could see her parading around the house in her favourite t-shirt and short shorts.  Whether she was greeting me with a smile or showing her usual irritated, adorable scowl, she always managed to look beautiful.  Everything she does is adorable and day after day, I found myself looking forward to spending more time with her. 

Matt might have thought that I was coming over to hang out with him but really, I had an ulterior motive.  His beautiful sister was like a happy pill for me.  My day didn’t feel complete until I get to pester her or bug her in any way. 

I remembered how furious I was the day she decided to date one of her suitors.  I kept kicking our rubbish bin to the gutter until I realized that what I was feeling was a little more than just a harmless, childish crush.  I started to get active in the dating game as well to try and keep my mind off Kim and stop myself from falling for her.  Unfortunately, there were all just temporary fixes and at the end of the day, I still ended up thinking about Kim, wanting to see her or even just hear her voice before I go to sleep. 

I had no right but I wanted to smash her boyfriend’s face.  I hated all the guys that got close to her.  Everytime I see her with her boyfriend, I felt gutted and I wanted to jump off the nearest bridge.  I tried so hard to put on a mask and hide my true feelings but there had been moments when I could no longer compose myself and let my guard down. 

I still remember our first kiss so well.  She was only a junior then, back when we were both naïve in the dating and kissing department.  I was having family troubles and she came over with a bottle of vodka insisting that we act like grown-ups and make our problems disappear with alcohol.  As usual, our conversation ended up with my most hated topic…Josh…the one guy I detest the most…the one person I will forever feel inferior to.  Of course, alcohol helped ignite a more heated battle until I could no longer control myself…the next thing I know, my lips were devouring hers in an intense and passionate rush, our closeness and intimacy sending off sparks to all my nerve endings.  That momentous night sealed the reality of my feelings for her.  While our lips touched, I realized that I really was falling for her. 

When I was a senior and I only had a few months before graduation, I couldn’t stop thinking that I won’t be able to have one of those endearing daily squabbles with her. I won’t be able to see her cute smiles everyday or smell the sweet fruity scent of her beautiful, long hair.  I was getting more depressed at the thought as graduation time was coming near that I invited her over one night and we ended up going through my mother’s alcohol stash.  That was the first time when I finally had the guts to confess my true feelings for her…too bad she was too wasted to remember the next day. 

Those feelings just grew deeper and stronger while we were miles apart.  I craved for her even more as days and months went by without seeing her beautiful face.  On days when I was not able to reach her on the telephone, I was a sorry sight.  I dated, had girlfriends and tried to find the same feeling of contentment and happiness but there simply is no one like Kimmy.  No one can quite measure up. There’s not another girl that can fit me as perfectly as Kim does.  I tried to move on and live without her but it didn’t do me any good. 

When I had a fight with my last ex-girlfriend, Margarette, that was the last straw.  Margarette is perfect in every way…pretty, intelligent, successful, kind…the type of woman that every mother wants for their son.  In fact, my mother chose her for me.  Margarette is the daughter of one of mom’s close friends and she went through all that trouble to get us together. 

At first I thought I was finally happy.  I had a great, successful career, a wonderful girlfriend who loves me and I was making big bucks which enabled me to own a new apartment.  However, not long after, I realized that my happiness was only on the surface.  Deep down, I still felt so hollow and incomplete.  I had everything a man could ever dream of but I was not genuinely happy.  I had a woman to hold, yet, I felt desolate. 

I couldn’t stop thinking about Kim…wondering what’s going on in her life, who she’s with…whether she had ever thought about me late at night.  I knew I was being unfair to Margarette, giving her false hope that there’s future in our relationship when all along, my heart was never really in it.  So, I bid goodbye and followed my heart which took me back home.  I have always loved our little friendly town and I can’t think of a better place to settle down but in this place where I feel I truly belong. 

My homecoming wasn’t quite as exciting and dramatic as I had pictured it to be.  Kim wasn’t running into my arms, declaring her hidden feelings of love.  Instead, I caught her still in the middle of her stalking frenzy with the jerk she had loved all her life. 

There is something psychologically demented in my head because despite continued heartbreaks and disappointment, I couldn’t get myself to stay away.  I ended up worse than the love-sick teenager that I used to be.  I craved to be near her…getting all giddy even with just a slight brush of our skins…getting a high out of our constant bickering…even when my presence is not always welcome.  Pathetic and desperate but still, my heart flutters just to see her smile.

Kim:  What are you thinking?

“Just wondering…”

Kim:  What?

“What if Josh suddenly comes up to you and asks you out?”

Kim:  That’s never gonna happen.

“Hypothetically.  Would you go on a date with him?”

Kim:  Would you let me?

“Hell no!  But it’s not my decision to make.”

Kim:  If I was single, I probably will, yes.  I mean, come on!  It’s Josh, I’m single and the man that I have had a crush on all my life is asking me out!

“But you’re not single, you’re with me.”

Kim:  Sort of.  We don’t really have a commitment though so…

“So, are you saying that if Josh finally comes around and says he wants to be with you, you’ll dump me just like that?”

Although she’s showing more sweetness lately, I still can’t help but wonder whether I’m only here as a filler…someone to keep herself busy with until her dreamboy comes around.  How can I compete with the man who had captured her heart for so many years without even breaking a sweat?  Of course, I can’t expect her to get over him overnight.  I just hope to God that Josh will give me enough time to steal her away before he decides to make his move. I don’t like the way he looks at her and his frequent visits at her bar lately.       

Kim:  Yeah, I’ll -slap you all the way to dumpsville.  I’m kidding!  Oh honey, would you believe me if I say that Josh is so last season?

“Oh my God!  You have fallen for me!”

Kim:  You’re in one of your drama moods, aren’t you?  Let’s go back to the cottage.

“You’re in love with me, aren’t you?”

Kim:  Oh get over yourself! 

“Yes or no, Kim?”

Kim:  Why do you want to know?

“Because I love you and I want to be with you.”

Kim:  How do I know you’re for real? 

“Everyday is the best day of my life when I’m with you, Kimmy.  I can’t imagine life without you…”

Kim:  Okay, okay!  Spare me the mushy details!  Sige nga, if really love me, why don’t you jump into that lake?

I had jumped off the rock and was already on my way down by the time she was able to react. 

Kim:  Oh my God!  Gerald!  Are you crazy?!  I was kidding!

I could hear her screaming away, angry, worried, unsure.  I thought I’ll stay under water for a little longer, make her worry a little, maybe she’ll realize that she can’t picture life without me, either. 

Suddenly, I felt another person diving in close to where I was swimming!   Oh damn!  I can’t believe she actually jumped off! 

“Kimberly!  What were you thinking?!  You could have hurt yourself!  Did you not notice how high that cliff is?”

I knew this is a diving cliff but nonetheless, only daredevils and experienced divers usually take the plunge here. 

Kim:  Ugh!  You have the guts to be mad at me?  You’re the one who jumped off!  Are you suicidal?  Have you lost your mind?! 

“Now do you believe that I really do love you?  I’ll do anything for you, hun.”

Kim:  You nutcase!  I was kidding! Ugh!  I so hate you right now!  I thought you drowned!

“Awww…you really do care honey.  You would jump off a cliff in a heartbeat to save my life!  Thank you for loving me that much babe.”

Kim:  I should have just let you drown, you fool!

She might not want to say it, but the fact that she would not even think twice just to save me, is enough proof of her feelings for me.  I’m starting to believe that I have sneaked my way into her heart and I’m finally ahead of Josh! 

“Come here, honey.”

Kim:  Get away from me!  I am so mad at you right now!

She started swimming away as I was about to reach for her but then she stopped, looking horrified.

Kim:  Oh crap!

“What’s the matter Kimmy?  Are you hurt?”

Kim:  Uhm, no.  Uhm, I need a favor.

“Sure, anything hun!”

Kim:  Where’s your shirt?

“Up the cliff on our picnic spot.  Why?”

Kim:  Uhm, nothing.  Just wondering. 

“Kimmy, what’s going on?”

Kim:  Don’t come close.  Stay right there.  So, uhm, you only have your shorts on?

“Oh, I get ya sweetheart!  You’d like a little underwater kama sutra huh?  Can I request though that we swim a little closer to the shore?  I have to admit, one of my flaws is that it’s a bit of a challenge for me to tread water and do it at the same time.”

Kim:  Gerald, trust me.  This is so not the right time for your dirty thoughts. Could you uhm, please go climb back up and get your shirt and bring it back here?

“Wait a minute…why do you need my shirt?  And, are you blushing?”

Kim:  Come on Ge.  Just go and get your shirt please?

“Oh this is gonna be good, I can tell!”

Kim:  Fine!  If you must know, I lost my dress okay?

“What do mean, you lost your dress?”

Kim:  It must have slipped off over my head as I hit the water.  I can’t see it anywhere though.  Quit laughing there!  This is all your fault!

“Jesus Kimmy!  Are you saying that you’re right now?

Kim:  I still have my underwear but since I didn’t bother putting my bra back on…Gerald!  Go away!

“This is so my lucky day!”

“With nothing but your knickers on…”

Kim:  Shut up!  Let me go or I’ll kick your !

“But honey, you need me.  I have a shirt remember?”

Kim:  Damn!  I so hate that I need you!

I am holding a practically , beautiful woman, with skin so smooth and moist from the water…even the cold lake water could not distract my arousal.  How can I stop my lips from invading hers when she is the epitome of an ultimate seductress? 

Kim:  Ge?

“Mmm…?”

Kim:  Can we get to a less deep spot?  I don’t want to go down history as the chick that drowned because she was treading water and making out at the same time.

“Honey, the fact that you have no clothes on will suggest that you were doing more than just make out..”

Kim:  Please Ge, now that you know my dilemma, can you please get your shirt?

“I thought we planned to continue what we started when we get to shallow waters?”

Kim:  If you really want to , get me your shirt.  I’ll worship you even!

 “I think I’m losing out on this bargain.  I jumped off a cliff for you.  How badly do you need that shirt?”

Kim:  Arghh!!  What do you want?  You want to take advantage of my ness?  Go on, be my guest!

“A very lovely, very enticing offer, but there’s something else that I really want more than anything.”

Kim:  You’re dying and you need my internal organs?

“Dying to have you all to myself and I need your heart.”

Kim:  Eww!  Not with that gross, overly-cheesy line!

“An admission would be a good start.”

Kim:  Admit what?

“That you love me.”

Kim:  I’d rather chew broken glass than admit that I’m in love with you!

“Good enough for me!”

It wasn’t exactly a true confession of her feelings but why do I feel so giddy inside?
“Yessss!  She loves me!  Whooo!”

Kim:  Shut up Ge!  I never said that!

“Aw, how cute!  Come here gorgeous.”

Kim:  Go away!

“That’s not gonna happen hun.”

I feel so wildly ecstatic, I can’t stop hugging and raining kisses all over her face! 

“Because you love me and you care enough about me to jump off a cliff, I’m going to go and find a way to get back up that cliff to get you a shirt.”

Kim:  Forget it, there’s bound to be a banana leaf somewhere in this jungle! 

“And share the view with other men?  No way!  Stay right there, I won’t take long.”