Matt:  Goodnight sleepy head!

“What are you guys doing here?!!”

Gerald:  Here, we brought you hot chocolate.

“Uhm…thanks.” 

His tone was more detached and uncaring rather than sweet…but my insides twisted the moment I felt his presence.

Matt:  Something’s wrong.  I can tell.

“I’m tired and you two are not letting me have my moment of peace.”

Sweet Jesus!  He laid down next to me and that was all it takes to throw away my sadness!  I was yet again converted to a nervous, giddy, slightly lusty, hopeless case.

Gerald:  Want someone to tuck you in princess?

I recognized that oh-so-familiar mocking tone and I was back to my fuming mad state.  I really hate the thought of him making a fool out of me and me foolish enough to let him!

“Get lost!”

Matt:  See Ge?  I told you we should just wait until she’s asleep before coming in!  You know very well not to mess with her when it’s that time of the month!

Gerald:  I’m tired.  I’m gonna call it a night.

Oh holy Gods of heaven!  Is the guy actually making his sleeping territory right beside me?!  Oh!  Dear Lord!  I am so totally screwed now!

Although this is not the first time that we are sleeping next to each other on our camping trip, it is the first time that we are sleeping together under this tent with malicious intents and voyeuristic tendencies!

Matt:  What?  It’s not even midnight yet!  Aren’t you guys a pair of boring losers!  Let’s play something!

“Like what?”

Matt:  I don’t know…card games?

“Ha!  That’s your brilliant idea?  And you call us the boring losers?  What does that make you?”

Matt:  Well then, let’s have a gossip session!

It is so frustrating that although Ge was seating right next to me, he hardly said a word to address me personally.  I even had to resort to the dirty tactic of sticking out my short-shorts-covered- and casually squeezing my chest area for maximum cleavage as I laid on my stomach.  That’s ought to secure a glance or two from a man…but not from Ge.  He seems to be looking anywhere but my humps.  I mean, come on!  It’s a tiny tent!  There really is not much to see so his glance is bound to land on this view one time or another!

Matt:  Okay, now that you guys are updated with my love life…

“Or lack thereof…”

Matt:  Whatever…I thought you needed company in your lonely-nights-club okay? I thought I’d take a break to keep you company in your lonely quest.

“Hey!  FYI my pathetic brother…my nights are a little less lonely than yours!”

Ooops!  I probably shouldn’t have blabbed that out!

Matt:  Oh my God!  You’re seeing someone!

“No…I mean…I wouldn’t say we’re seeing or anything.  It’s nothing, really.”

At last, mission accomplished! I got Ge to look my way.  It’s more like a horrified look rather than a flirty, smoky gaze but hey, I got him to finally notice me, didn’t I?

Matt:  Oh, so it’s more like you’re screwing someone!  It’s not that Dave guy is it?

“No.  Okay, let’s move on to another topic.”

Matt:  No way are you going to leave me hanging sis.  Come on!  Spill.  Is it someone I know?

“It’s no one!  Can we just talk about something else?”

I dared look at Ge and his face was far from amused.  Man, I should really start learning how to control my mouth. 

Matt:  After Dave, I haven’t heard about another date.  Do you know anything about this Ge?

“We’re not dating!  Can we stop interrogating me now?”

Gerald:  I don’t understand why women like to play these secret-affairs type of games.

Matt:  Women!  Don’t try to figure them out bro.  You’ll end up in the mental ward!  Maybe she doesn’t want the relationship to come out in the open because there’s more than one love affair? 

Gerald:  Kim??!!

“Don’t you two look at me like that!  If neither of you two have realized by now that I am not that type of person, then I am so never talking to you two again!”

Matt:  Why the secrecy then?  Does the poor guy know that you’re just using him for his body?

Gerald:  Are you, Kim?

“It’s not like that!  Anyway, if that was the case, he’s probably doing the same thing to me so we’re even.”

I couldn’t help but shot another look at Ge and immediately felt guilty at the sad look he’s pulling off so well.  It made me want so badly to take back what I said. 

Gerald:  Has it ever occurred to you that it might go a lot deeper than just the physical thing for him?

“Does it?”

I wouldn’t know what to do if the whole thing is more complicated than I originally thought.

Gerald:  Would he be pursuing you if he doesn’t have strong feelings for you?

I didn’t realize I am being pursued?

Matt:  Jeez Gerald!  What happened to you?  Have you heard how sappy and gay you sounded then?  You need to stop hanging around my sister so much.  She’s contagious, you know.

“Hey!  I do not do sappy!”

Matt:  You do too!  Who writes, ‘I heart Josh’ all over her notebooks?  Who kisses Josh’s picture goodnight?  Totally gay!

“That was ages ago!  I have grown out of it now okay?”

Gerald:  Have you really?

“I have!  I haven’t looked at his picture in weeks!”

Gerald:  Why haven’t you thrown out that damn picture if you really are over him?

“Well…because…”

Hmmm… Good question.  Why haven’t I gotten rid of anything and everything Josh in my house?

“Well…I haven’t gotten around to it.  Besides, that’s souvenir, you know.  A memorabilia of my past.  It’s like a diary.  I can look back at it one day and laugh.  Right, that’s what it is…”

Matt:  So are you still head over heels for that lifeguard?

“No!  I told you I’m over him!”

Wow.  It felt good to say it out loud and actually mean it.

Matt:  I have to meet this secret new man of yours.  If he’s the reason you are able to finally ditch your lifetime craziness over Josh, the man must be really special!

“It has nothing to do with any man.  I just woke up one day and came to my senses.  Besides, I’m allergic to seafoods.”

Matt:  Huh?  What does seafoods have to do with it?

Gerald:  He’s got crabs.

“He does not!  I just don’t like the way he eats them!”

Matt:  That is such a shallow excuse.  I’d say the new man knows a trick or two to keep your mind off that lifeguard.  Anyway how do you know Josh doesn’t have crabs?  The man has practically slept with every single female in town.

“Yeah, everyone except me.  Rub it in, why don’t you?”

Gerald:  Affected?  I thought you said you’re over him?

Arrrggghhh!!  I just couldn’t take all the interrogation and suspicious glares anymore!  I hid under the blanket in protest, ignoring their annoying rants about me unnecessarily overreacting or affected or whatever. 

It really frustrates me how Ge doesn’t sound too convinced that I have moved on from Josh.  I haven’t even thought about him lately.  Why can’t he believe me?  I can’t understand why I have this strong need to re-assure him that I am not into any other man.  I don’t have to explain myself to him!

Two hours after the boys have gone silent (well, as silent as a snoring Matt can get) I was still wide awake under the blanket, probably turning into a scary shade of blue from the lack of oxygen under that cover.  I felt it was safe to pull the blanket down to my waist and try to recover from heat and air deprivation.

As I was lying in that dark tent, pondering on my bizarre relationship with Gerald, every single cell suddenly tensed up and froze as I was jolted by the electrifying feel of his skin on mine.  I need not see him to know that the person lying on the sleeping bag next to me is Gerald.  The butterflies in my stomach caused by his pheromones were a dead giveaway.  He moved his arm so that his skin is in contact with mine.  A seemingly normal, innocent thing to happen when someone is sleeping next to you…but the effect of that simple skin contact was way far from normal. 

Suddenly I longed for more contact and found myself wishing that I could scoot closer or even share his sleeping bag for ultimate closeness.  I was yearning for his touch, his closeness, so badly, it was driving me mad.  Moving my hand so that my pinky was slightly rubbing on his thumb, suddenly seemed like the most exciting, heart-thumping thing. 

My heart’s pounding became even more irritatingly louder when I felt his hand holding mine…his thumb gently rubbing my hand which seemed like the most affectionate gesture.  It sure did cure my depression brought about by his coldness towards me earlier.  Since when did holding hands become so epic?  But seriously, such simple gesture must have some enchanting power because I woke up smiling, feeling all content and happy as I felt that our hands were still intertwined.