My life that’s for you

You are the red line to me

The darkening sunlight

I will live for you, for us

My life that’s for you

I will fight - Key

“She is great isn't she?” Sodam asked Lillie while they crossed the street in the direction of a coffee shop Lillie especially liked. As a way to repay Sodam for introducing her friend who would give her art lessons to her, Lillie offered to pay for coffee.

“She is, I’m really thankful.” She wasn't even going to pay for the full price and the discount Sodam’s friend gave her was enough for Lillie to save up for other expenses. That and the fact that she could spend time with Sodam to know her better and maybe start a friendship had kept Lillie with a smile since they left the art studio.

The next hour was spent drinking coffee and talking about several topics and not only SHINee like Lillie feared. Sodam was a person with whom Lillie felt more comfortable than she had imagined and even though Lillie wasn't usually very talkative she had no problems finding things to discuss with her. She would have enjoyed their time together more fully if she wasn't always going back to the night of Minho’s desperate confession. She wanted to try and find out what Sodam thought of Minho but they weren't close enough for that and at the same time she didn't want to seem obvious and reveal what Minho had told her and Jinki that night.

The right opportunity to know more about what Sodam thought of Minho came when the conversation drifted to SHINee again. Sodam asked Lillie about her fangirl life previous to meeting Jinki and after briefly explaining how she came to know them and travel to South Korea - she avoided speaking about Alex in detail - she made a too detailed description of how she met all of the SHINee men and what she thought of all of them. Deliberately she left Minho for the end and honestly praised him as best as she could watching Sodam’s expression carefully. She didn't even blink or show any kind of special emotion when his name was mentioned and only nodded agreeing with Lillie about the many qualities he had.

“You probably know better than me how they are in real life since you know them for longer and from a young age.”

“I guess I do.” Sodam’s eyes were on the table as if she was lost in thought.

“They must have changed a lot. Well, Minho at first seemed to be so quiet and even an introvert, and yet he is so eloquent and an extrovert.”

“He didn't change, he was only playing a role in the group.” Sodam explained even though Lillie knew that already.

“Yes, but he revealed to be such a good friend and so sweet.” Lillie raised the cup of hot chocolate to her lips, the foam from them after she took a sip “He is amazing.”

Maybe she was overdoing it but Sodam didn't seem to find it strange.

“He is.” She agreed moving her index finger on the handle of the glass mug. “He is much more than people usually see in him.”

Lillie perked up now that Sodam seemed to have fallen into her trap and was opening up.

“Lately he has been a good friend, the best.” She admitted her eyes on Lillie’s “And I think I might have done something wrong, that maybe I've hurt him.”

Lillie parted her lips and mumbled a confused oh.

“Sometimes you see someone for a long time in a way and then one day they just change you know?”

Lillie wasn't sure she understood Sodam. It was true that there was a moment in her story with Jinki when suddenly he wasn't only Onew anymore, when that persona stood in the background and only Jinki shined in front of her. The moment he stopped being a famous singer and became a friend was the moment she realized that she was in trouble, that she was in love, really in love. It wasn't an infatuation with a famous person with an image but true deep feelings for the real person. Maybe it was similar to what Sodam was talking about. The difference, if Lillie was right about it, was that Minho stopped being only her brother’s friend and became a man in her eyes.

“And then there are the actions.” Sodam carried on narrowing her eyes in confusion “Sometimes something happens and you see it in a way and the other person sees it in another way and misunderstandings can happen.”

Lillie nodded not sure with what she was agreeing.

Sodam hummed her cheeks becoming slightly flushed and instead of finishing her thought she drank her latte.

“It's all nonsense, forget it.”

It wasn't nonsense and Sodam was as confused and troubled as Minho was and that could only mean one of two things: she knew she made a mistake and was afraid Minho was angry with her or - and Lillie hoped this was the right one - she realized she also had feelings for him but wasn't sure about his.

“It's really not and…” Lillie wanted to push Sodam towards Minho but she wasn't sure how to do it without being too obvious “You never know how the other person perceived it if you don't talk about it, right?”

Sodam nibbled on her lower lip seeming to consider Lillie’s suggestion.

“Look at me and Jinki.” Lillie added “I thought he only saw me as a silly friend who was also a fan. I felt so small beside him and yet we both were hiding feelings for each other, afraid that they weren't mutual. If he never took the initiative to speak to me we might never have gotten together and I can't imagine my life without him, I can't picture myself living in this present time as the person I was before I met him.”

“Oh…” Sodam smiled, joining her hands over the table “You speak of him with so much love.”

“Well…” Lillie grinned a bit embarrassed. “Anyway, what I mean is that if we keep hiding what we feel because of being afraid we might lose the chance of living something greater than ourselves.”

“You are right.” Sodam agreed smiling softly “I think you are absolutely right.” Slowly she seemed to gain a certainty that wasn't there before and Lillie had a feeling that Minho would soon be able to find out what Sodam truly thought of him. “I enjoyed this. We should go out more often.”

Sodam's suggestion made Lillie grin and she nodded enthusiastically, extremely happy that she made another friend. “I would like that very much!”

Jules put down the bucket and grabbed a broom instead, her eyes following Kibum that was pushing the table of his kitchen into place.

It was his day off and sadly they couldn't go on a date because he had to clean his apartment. According to him, it had been so long since the last time he did a meticulously clean, and soon he would be living in the middle of filth.

Jules offered to help not wanting to let that moment to be together pass, even if it was to clean.

The house wasn't as bad as he said it was but she agreed that it truly needed a cleaning.

Kibum stretched with a small complaint and then grabbed the cleaning cloth from the table.

“I went to have dinner with my friends this week,” Jules said, sweeping the rest of the living room. “The french ones mostly.”

Once in a while, she would meet them and he knew.

"Oh, that's nice. How are they doing?” he asked, turning his back to her to start cleaning the dishes that were on the dryer rack.

“One of them is getting married.” he didn't react so she carried on “And back home one of my high school friends is also engaged. Seems like many of my friends around my age are either married or getting married now.”

“Hum, I see.” Jules stopped sweeping for a while and stared at Kibum’s back a little upset with his lack of interest.

“I guess it makes sense. We are at an age that is normal to settle down with someone and have your own family.”

He turned around with the dishcloth in one hand and a plate in the other. “You want to get married? Is this why we are having this conversation?” She parted her lips a little embarrassed because it wasn't as if she truly wanted to get married “You know that I don't like to beat around the bush. If that's what you want then tell me!”

“What if I said that I did?”

“Well, then we would have a problem because I truly don't think of marrying right now.”

He was honest, of course, he would be, and even though she knew his answer to that question already she didn't refrain from asking.

“I don't want to marry right now. I do want to do it but later.”

He nodded his head “Well then it's settled. Someday we will do it.” he turned again and she placed the broom against the wall and approached him.

“Are you asking me to marry you?”

He looked at her as if her question made no sense “No.” Her heart broke a little but he wasn't finished. “I don't think that's how you make a marriage proposal. You wouldn't be happy with something like that would you?”

“No… but it's better than none.” She added the last part in a mumble and Kibum groaned, placing the cloth dish down and turned to her with one hand on the kitchen counter.

“Just because I didn't say the words doesn't mean that I don't intend to say them someday. Why are you even doing this Jules?” His voice softened “Why are you trying to find problems where there are none. You know I love you and you know that if there is someone I want to be with and marry it's you.” He his lips and she stared at her feet suddenly feeling ashamed. “I can't get married right now and you know why.” He sighed stepping closer and she stared at his feet unable to look up. It was so unlike her and he knew it so his voice became even more gentle.

“Why do you want to argue with me so badly? Are you trying to find a way to ruin us? To lead us to rupture?”

She blinked her eyes trying to control her tears, her chest aching.

“I'm...scared.” She confessed in a low voice. She hadn't realized how much until that very moment.

“Why?”

If she lost him if he grew tired of her or cheated on her like Minjae did she wasn't sure she would recover anymore.

She shook her head and he gently cupped her chin making her look up at him. The softness and comprehension on his eyes left her with mixed feelings. She didn't want him to see her weaknesses like that.

“I understand and it's alright.” he said pulling her to him for a hug. Jules hugged him back wondering if he truly understood what she felt. He had told her about his previous relationships and he was always the one who broke them and moved on. He hadn't mentioned any ex-girlfriend that had made him suffer, or how hard it was to get over them. He was always the one falling out of love and maybe that was part of the reason why she was scared. What if she was the next one?! When she started that relationship she never thought she would fall that deep for him.

He kissed the top of her head and she closed her eyes pressing herself against him.

“I'm sorry.”

“It's alright.” he comforted her again, caressing her back. “I think it's enough of cleaning for a day. Let's make dinner and watch a movie together, under the blankets while we drink some wine, hum? How does that sound?”

It sounded marvelous and she nodded hoping that moments like that never became part of the past for them.

Lillie sighed, her eyes on the window. It was hard for her to focus at work the past few days. She was anxious half of the time and had a big urge to check sns often to see if she was getting more hate or if her followers' number increased. It wasn't as if she wanted to be popular, she honestly preferred to be out of the spotlight, but she had the need to see if nothing changed if the majority of the shawols hadn't changed their mind and decided to hate her instead.

Lillie chewed on her pen, her mind drifting from the work she was doing once again, her fingers itching to reach out for her phone.

Do Joon, her boss, came out from his office and stopped in front of her desk. For a second she thought he had noticed her state of distress and would scold her but instead, he opened his arms showing off his expensive suit to her.

“What do you think?”

“Date?”

“I'm introducing Ria to my mother.”

Lillie froze, pulling the tip of her pen from . “You are turning your relationship official?”

He scoffed “No. She accepted to act as my girlfriend.”

“After the fiasco that was me pretending to be the lucky girl you are still trying to trick your mother?”

He narrowed his brows but he couldn't deny that their date had been a total mess with Jinki crashing into it.

“Besides, isn't she truly in a relationship with you? You can call it casual but you have been meeting for a while now.”

“It's not a serious relationship,” he mumbled but Lillie could see that his answer wasn't as firm as it once was. Her lips turned into a smile, Do Joon wasn't far from falling in love and she wouldn't miss it for the world.

“You already treat her as a girlfriend.” Lillie sang and he shook his head.

“Casual dating. Just because you couldn't do it doesn't mean she can't. It's and nothing more.” he leaned over Lillie’s desk giving her the mocking smile that sometimes made her want to punch him. “Nothing of the kind that you feel for your idol. It's and only that.”

“Yet you keep texting her all day long.” She pointed out. Do Joon frowned and fixed the collar of his coat.

“Don't you have to leave too? You have a photoshoot with your loverboy today, don't you?”

Lillie gasped pushing herself up from the chair. “I forgot! I'm so late already!” She turned around searching for her bag.

“It's alright, I can drive you there. I also have a meeting before the date.”

Lillie moaned relieved “You are the best!”

Do Joon chuckled “Yes, besides I am your bodyguard, remember? Can't let you go alone.” It had been a while since she was attacked and after that, no one tried to hurt her anymore. Lillie didn't feel entirely safe yet though, and probably Jinki didn't either because he hadn't touched the subject of her moving out of his apartment.

“Can I go in and watch you take the pictures?” Do Joon asked teasingly and Lillie playfully slapped his arm.

“Don't be weird! Jinki won't like it.”

“I'm sure he wouldn't. That's what makes it fun!” he simply loved to boyfriend too much. Lillie ignored her boss and friend and instead took a deep breath. She was so nervous about it and it was unbelievable how she almost forgot about that. Her first photoshoot- their first one as a couple with a small interview and everything. SM was the one who planned it for them, claiming that if they were interviewed for a magazine as a couple it would be a good way to introduce them to the general public too. Lillie wasn't sure why that was important but it seemed like that was the start of how they were going to use their relationship to make money. Many magazines had shown interest in that interview and that brought good money for the company. She honestly couldn't care less but the idea of taking another step like that in their relationship made her anxious. She could barely pose for photos with friends. How could she pose for a professional photographer?

Luckily Jinki would be there. When she was by his side it seemed like she always managed to push through her limits.

Jinki was used to it. He didn't even need to think much to do another pose, it was as if his body knew exactly what to do next. That photoshoot was different though. He wouldn't be posing with the members or models, he would be posing with Lillie. She had arrived after him and was getting ready. He couldn't hide how curious he was to see her. Yet he focused on his solo shooting taking photos around the small stage set as a living room. He sat down on the couch making all kinds of poses, from bored to comfortable to sleepy until the photographer decided that he had enough material to work with.

He would be interviewed later with Lillie so he was going to wait for her shooting to end first. They could do it as soon as they finished their couple's pictures but he preferred to do it together. It was her first time and she was shy and would probably feel overwhelmed and don't know what to say. If he was by her side he was sure she would feel more confident.

Jinki opened a bottle of water that one of the staff offered to him and was in the middle of taking a sip from it when Lillie entered. He slowly pulled the bottle from his lips and hungrily looked at her. That was his Lillie, there was no denying there, but she looked stunning. It wasn't the clothes she was wearing, which complimented her well and were just her style - a white blouse with a discreet frilly collar with a small bow on the side of her neck, an above the knee white skirt with blue flowers, and a baby blue long knitted jacket - nor the makeup that was simple and made her eyes look even more expressive, nor the way her hair looked as fluffier as ever, the tips slightly curled…

He simply didn't know what it was, maybe the combination of all that or the aura around her while she walked to him fidgeting with her hands while the photographer explained to her what he wanted her to do. Lillie’s gaze found him and he forced a smile out of his frozen lips.

He wanted to ravish her, no….he wanted to say something meaningful and make her understand how beautiful she was and yet he simply mumbled a hi when she reached him. She blinked her eyes, her big eyelashes hypnotizing him and greeted him back before turning to the photographer that was still giving her some tips.

Jinki heard his name being mentioned and tried to focus on what he was saying too and stop drooling over his girlfriend.

“...so maybe you want to take pictures with Onew first and then we do some solo shots. We don't need much, just try to act natural as if we aren't even here.”

“I’ll try that.”

Jinki doubted that she would manage to forget that they were being watched, that would be impossible with all the camera flashes and the instructions being shouted at them.

“Shall we start?” The man suggested and Lillie followed Jinki to the living room stage. He kept stealing glances at her trying to find the right moment to tell her how beautiful she looked. She had complained before that he only said it in the middle of and he wanted to prove her wrong.

“Nervous?” he asked instead, kicking himself from his stupidity because of course, she was nervous.

“Yes.” She took a deep breath to calm herself “You?”

“A little.” there was no denying it yet when he saw her he completely forgot about it all.

“Let's just act as a couple. I mean we are a couple…”

Lillie nodded ignoring the clumsy remark and then sat on the couch. He sat beside her and after a few moments of awkwardness he looked at her leaning back and she looked at him a little shy and a flash illuminated them.

“Good, Lillie can you move a little more towards Onew? Act as if you two are watching something fun together.”

“Act as if I made a successful joke.” he suggested and she smiled.

“But your jokes are always funny!”

“No they are not!” he laid an arm on the couch behind her and she moved closer to him.

He tipped his head in her direction taking that moment to whisper in her ear.

Another flash.

The photographer didn't hear what he said but it worked because Lillie gasped and laughed out loud. He laughed with her and he took that chance to do his work and take several pictures. After that, the couple seemed to relax and he successfully finished his work.

Lillie’s hands were over her lap and even though she didn't seem as nervous as before she still felt uncomfortable. They managed to take all the pictures and it didn't take as long as he thought, or maybe taking pictures with her passed by quicker because he didn't mind posing by her side, didn't mind touching her arm or looking at her. He couldn't take his eyes from her for long so it wasn't a bother at all to do a shooting with her. Lillie’s solo pictures were a little more difficult. She had a hard time acting natural and wasn't used to taking pictures of herself, yet she came out looking sweet and innocent which was exactly what the company wanted. It wasn't far from her real personality but she was much more than that stereotypical image. Maybe someday everyone would see that but for now, that was good enough.

It was time for their interview now and the reporter was extremely polite and friendly and gave them some time to rest before she made the questions. Lillie took a bathroom break and he gave her some water before they sat on the improvised living room studio on the couch to answer the questions. The first ones were directed at him and mostly about SHINee so Lillie watched them instead.

“How did the members react when you told them you were dating? Do you often talk about your relationships?”

“We are close but as close friends, we don't always speak about relationships. Yet when I and Lillie became serious I did tell them about her.” Jinki's gaze moved to Lillie “They were accepting and cheered us on.”

She turned to Lillie next and Jinki felt her tense up beside him, he fought the urge to grab her hand not wanting to be too explicit on his feelings for her. They haven't taken any picture holding hands or doing much skinship.

“I suppose you had the chance of meeting the other SHINee members, How did that go? You were a shawol before isn't that right?”

“I am still a shawol.” Lillie pressed her lips together “I was very nervous when I met them, it felt surreal and for a while, I kept seeing them as the idols I used to see on tv. Now they are most of the time just real people.”

“How did you two met each other?”

Lillie looked at him waiting for Jinki to answer but he didn't speak letting her take control. He trusted that she would do well and she felt braver.

“We met through mutual friends.”

“She told me that she was a big fan and we met a couple of times with a group of friends and started talking more.” Jinki added.

“It must be hard for you as a foreigner in a different country, I'm sure there must have been several situations where there was a misunderstanding between you due to cultural differences.”

“Lillie’s Korean is very good.” Jinki complimented her.

“I'm not that good but I keep studying hard.” Lillie corrected him “We never noticed a language barrier.”

“There were some small misunderstandings though…” he said remembering the ramen episode when the trainee hit on her.

Lillie blinked her eyes slowly realizing what he meant “Nothing big though.”

“I see.” The reporter smiled “And what made you come to South Korea? Why our country?”

Lillie’s expression completely changed, her body stiff beside his, and Jinki’s heart sunk. That was an innocent question and yet Lillie couldn't answer it honestly. They haven't prepared for that, for the possibility that one question could point out to her violent past and the true reasons why she had to run away from her country. Her eyes moved quickly to Jinki and then to his manager waiting instructions.

“She wanted a new start.” Jinki answered jumping in to protect her, not lying about it and giving the only possible answer “She was in love with South Korea’s culture and thought that it was a good place to start anew, right?” he placed a hand over hers in her lap and squeezed it. Lillie looked down at his hand and even though maybe that was too much skinship than it was supposed he didn't care. She nodded, naturally smiling at him.

“I also wanted to see SHINee perform live so I thought I could do both.”

And by performing he knew she hoped to see them, to see him, even if it was for a long distance. He smiled proudly back at her.

“Well, I guess you got more than seeing them perform." the reporter stated and Lillie blushed agreeing with her, the three of them laughing.

“You are such a sweet couple.” the woman remarked “ I'm sure you get to hear this from Onew’s fans but you probably also got a lot of hate. I read the statement Onew released about it.”

“Yes," Onew sighed “Lillie has received hate not only online but she was harassed on the street too a couple of meters away from her workplace and her house and that pains me. I know many fans are upset that I am not single anymore yet I always thought that they would reconsider once they saw that I'm happy and I'm truly happy right now.”

“How was it for you?”

Lillie bit her lower lip “It was awful.” She was being honest and Jinki squeezed her hand again. “I didn't feel safe anywhere and I still don't sometimes. I also feared for my friend, for my roommate. I don't think it's fair for him...Jinki...I mean Onew…” she blushed deeply and Jinki chuckled.

“It's fine…” the reporter reassured.

“Well Onew has been very supportive and we are trying to get closer to the fans.”

“To finish this interview would you like to say something to shawols that are going to read this?”

“I want to thank them and ask them to keep loving me as Onew because I'm still the same person. Meeting Lillie and falling in love with her hasn't changed who I am. I feel like I'm able to be more of myself, to be better as a man and as a performer. I'll work harder so you never lose your trust in me so please love us and support our relationship. “

They both turned to Lillie and she parted her lips trying to find the words to say.

“Just say what you feel.” Jinki encouraged her.

“I want to tell them that I am still a shawol like them. I don't feel like I've stopped being one. I did fall in love with Jinki and I'm dating him but I still see Onew on stage and get mesmerized.”

He chuckled, eyeing their hands together. He couldn't wait to be alone with her to kiss her senselessly. She was so brave doing that with him, exposing herself when she was always so scared of being in the spotlight and he knew she was doing all that to be with him, for their relationship.

“I admire SHINee more than ever. They are truly special people, good men besides being amazingly talented. I want to thank you if you support this relationship if you accept that Jinki has found someone special to love. If you don't support us then I hope someday you do, not for me but for him. He doesn't deserve losing a fan. I'm sorry if I don't seem fit for him in your eyes, trust me when I say I don't see myself fit either…”

Jinki made an upset sound with his tongue but she ignored him.

“But he has been working hard to convince me.”

The reporter laughed looking at them as if they were indeed a very charming couple and Lillie smiled back.

“And lately I'm believing him so I hope you believe too and accept us someday. Thank you.”

The woman clapped her hands together “We are finished, oh I wish you all the best, thank you so much.”

Lillie and Jinki stood up and bowed to her too thanking her back. The staff worked around them and they both walked out of the studio thanking them politely.

It took Lillie a while to notice that Jinki was still holding her hand and she only did once Jinki’s manager approached them saying he still had another schedule. He was busy after all with his solo debut, that interview would only come out after it. She hoped it wouldn't ruin it for him but according to the company, it would hype it up even more.

“I still have to take these clothes off.” Lillie said to him once he finished catching up with his manager.

“It's fine, I do too. You will come with us and hyung will leave you at your place.”

“Oh alright.” Jinki seemed distracted now probably thinking about all he still had to do for the day.

“I'm going to change then.” Yet before she walked away Jinki grabbed her by her arm gently.

“You were perfect by the way, you did so well.”

“Did I? I even called you Jinki instead of Onew and I was so stiff taking the pictures and…”

“And you are beautiful and I admire you so much for doing this.”

She speechless looked back at him and Jinki reached out and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear “I don't know how to express myself clearer but you are beautiful.”

“It's the makeup and the clothes." she mumbled, her heart beating faster. He said he couldn't express himself well but he didn't have to when he looked at her as if there was no one else in the room.

“No." he shook his head “No, it's you. It's all you!” The intense way he said those words and the warmth in his eyes didn't leave her even after both parted ways to change their clothes.

She had to suppress several giggles while thinking of him and it even got worse when she heard one of the staff say without knowing that she was listening:

“What a cute couple!”

The waiter placed the two plates with pasta on the tables, a seafood one for Melody and a spinach parmesan one for Taemin.

It was his first time in that restaurant but he had heard of it before since it was new and popular recently. Kibum had mentioned it once and even Min showed interest in it. Which made him feel guilty because they never had a date there mostly because she feared they would be seen. Yet there he was with Melody. He had dressed like Taemin, not how the singer usually dressed, and since his hair was dark he almost blended in. Melody had some sense though since she had asked for one of the most hidden tables giving them more privacy.

They didn't talk much for half the meal and when they did they talked mostly about work. He made polite questions about what she did after she left South Korea, why her professional mindset had changed and what led her back to their country. She praised him on his solo career and asked him about his parents and hobbies which soon revealed that they had been away from each other for a long time and didn't know as much about each other as they once did.

As soon as those topics drained out silence fell on the table. Taemin was never good at small talk with people he wasn't comfortable with and to no surprise Melody had become a stranger and honestly, he wasn't as interested in her as much as he thought he would. He wondered why he wasn't more curious about who she was now but it was probably better that way, it meant that he had moved on, that he had no feelings for her anymore. He was in the middle of organizing his thoughts and feelings towards her when she cleaned her lips on the napkin before setting her hands on the table her posture changing slightly.

“You must be wondering why I asked you to meet.”

“Don't you want to reconnect and be friends?” he really couldn't imagine himself being her friend though.

“No, I can't be only your friend.” he narrowed his eyes and she her lips leaning closer over her plate, her voice lowering “Do you know what I missed the most, what I regretted the most?”

He blinked his eyes letting his hands fall on his lap, guessing what she would say next.

“I missed you Taemin. Seeing you online on sns or tv hurt so deeply because I could see what I was missing.”

“So you missed the idol?” he asked upset.

“No, I missed the Taemin that would pick me up from my part-time job.”

“That silly boy, you mean?”

“Taemin we had something special, I was your first…”

He closed his eyes and pressed his lips together trying to calm down. “It was special but it was something from the past. It's over.”

“We were young and silly and we had no idea what we wore doing.”

“You seemed to know what you wanted. You hated that I was an idol, you wanted to focus on your career.”

“I was a dreamer but now I see it!” she moved her hand on the table but he pulled his away to his lap.

“I'm not a kid anymore. You are right.” he smiled certain of what he was feeling “I know what I want, I know what I feel now and there is someone I truly like, someone I care about and don't want to hurt.”

“You are with someone?" she asked disappointed which made him scoff.

“You can't believe that I am with someone?”

“No, it's just that a part of me hoped that you would prioritize me over someone else.”

“Oh, so you thought that you would come and try to get back together and I would just leave whoever I was with to be with you?”

She didn't answer but he knew that was exactly what she meant. Melody was selfish and immature and all those years when he had thought about her he had seen himself as the immature one, as the one who ruined their relationship, and now he could see it clearly that it was mutual, that they were never meant to be.

Melody next to Minseo was nothing to him. It didn't matter that she was his first love, of course, he would never forget her but she would never be who Minseo was becoming for him, a friend, a partner, a passionate lover.

“I love her, my girlfriend." he confessed not feeling even a little guilty for the pain in Melody's eyes “She is amazing. She is honest, sweet, and hardworking. She always puts others before her interests which most of the time ends up with her being hurt and I hate it but I admire her so much for that. She has dreams too, she also has ambition and things she wants to do, and even though it's hard to date me she loves me as I am, she accepts me with my shortcomings. She is probably more than I deserve and no I'm not leaving her for you or anyone else. I'm sorry Melody...or maybe I'm not.” he stood up. “I'll pay for the meal and leave. I don't think we should extend this lunch date.”

“Taemin.” she reached out for his hand grabbing it and he felt nothing. The strange thumping of his heart when he saw her a couple of days ago was gone. He raised his eyes to her face and pulled his hand free.

“I'm sorry.” she said with tears in her eyes and even though he didn't want to hurt her he knew it was better that way “I'll cherish our memories together but I don't think we should have more than a professional relationship.”

He grabbed his phone from the table and turned his back on her. He thought he would feel liberated somehow that that chapter of his life was closing but he felt nothing besides an intense need to see Minseo, to kiss her and hold her.

The most important lesson he got from meeting melody was the realization that he was indeed one of the lucky ones because he had someone like Minseo by his side.

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