35. Be my Baby

Marrying an Idol

A.N: This chapter wasn't beta read. Might contain some mistakes and typos.

 

I'll make you happy, baby, just wait and see

For every kiss, you give me I'll give you three

Oh, since the day I saw you

I have been waiting for you

You know I will adore you 'til eternity

Be my baby - the ronettes

 

Lillie felt complete, the kind of complete one feels when everything seems right in the world. She had a roof over her head, a good job, an amazing boyfriend, and many friends to call her own.

And the best way to celebrate it all is by having a girls' night at Rin's apartment. They ordered takeaway and settled in the middle of Rin's tiny apartment watching movies. After a few hours, a couple of drinks, and a lot of gossip the girls were laughing instead of watching the movies.

Rin's sister, who had kept their company for part of the night even though she didn't touch any food or alcohol stood up and bid them farewell.

Rin had insisted for her to stay but she preferred to go home earlier to rest.

"Is she still dating Lillie's boss?" Jess asked before finishing the rest of her drink.

"I think she is his fake girlfriend now or something like that." Lillie, who chose to be sober for the night, grabbed a handful of chips.

Rin dipped her chin uncomfortably. She had discussed that with her sister a couple of times already and the last time it ended in an argument. She was afraid that soon their parents would find out about the unusual relationship Ria had with Dojoon and they wouldn't accept it well. Rin liked to believe that she was open-minded and something like that wouldn't bother her if it was with someone else, but with her sister, she worried that she might end up with a broken heart.

"I hate men with their perfect eye smiles!" She muttered instead, recalling how her sister had told her that that was the first thing she noticed on Doojoon, probably the first sign of attraction.

"You possibly can't!" Lillie protested "As the girlfriend of the man who invented eye smiles…"

Jules snorted, making Jess curl with her arm around her stomach laughing.

"I can say that…" Lillie frowned, forgetting what she was going to say and Jess threw herself back lying on the ground recovering her breath after her hearty laugh.

Only Minseo kept a straight face and seemed as if she wasn't having as much fun as her friends.

"Boyfriend still acting weird?" Jules, who didn't drink at all because she was still taking flu medicine even though she had almost recovered, was more perceptive than the others.

"No...well maybe."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"He is acting like usual but not the way it was before. I can't explain."

"Try!" Jules insisted and the room became quiet listening to their conversation.

"He...sometimes...when he looks at me...no...the way he speaks…" Minseo stumbled in her words, unable to explain something she also couldn't understand. "It's as if he is acting more loving towards me."

"Oh boy!" Jules filled her glass with water.

"What does that mean?" Lillie asked uneasily with Jules's expression.

"It's almost as if he is overcompensating for something. As if he feels guilty."

Minseo nibbled on her lower lip looking away as if she was hiding something. "Could be."

"Minjae, my ex used to do that every time he cheated on me. One day he would be cold and unavailable and the next he would be calling me all the time, saying pretty romantic things to me, or even giving me expensive gifts."

Lillie, noticing Minseo's pale expression quickly tried to mend things laughing awkwardly "Of course that's not the same thing. Minjae was a cheater by nature, Taemin is not like that!"

"Ah...of course not!" Jules waved her hands "Maybe he just realized that he has been neglecting you."

"It's probably that." Rin added and the girls stood in silence waiting for Minseo's reaction. She forced a smile and nodded "Yes, it's probably that."

"But if he is cheating on you, tell me and I'll kick his !"

Jules's sharp eyes matched her murderous tone and no one doubted that she would be capable of actually doing it, yet Lillie started to laugh as if it was all a joke followed by Rin and Jessie. Only Min seemed to not find it funny at all. But before they had time to try and drive the conversation in another direction someone knocked on the door.

"It's probably Jonghyun!"

He had promised he would come to spend the night with Rin as soon as he left Blue Night, which also meant that the girls' party would be over.

Oblivious to the tense atmosphere he greeted everyone.

"Enjoying the day off?" He asked Jessie who raised her thumbs up to him before standing. All the girls started collecting their things.

"You want a ride home?" He asked them noticing how Lillie had to help Jess that was taking extra time to put her coat on, or how Rin stumbled a little trying to get up and failed.

"It's fine. I'll be driving and I didn't drink." Jules told him by the door waiting patiently for her friends as if they were their kids. Only Minseo was as quick as her and was ready with her coat next to her. The girls left, leaving the couple alone.

"I need to clean all this."

"I can help." He offered "Did you have fun?" He asked, noticing all the empty bottles.

"A lot…" she hesitated. " By the end, it got a little awkward but…" she never finished the sentence because when she tried to stand up again holding three of the empty bottles she staggered and almost fell. Jonghyun, who was carrying an empty package of tteokbokki wrapped his free arm around her but he failed to save the bottles that fell on the ground, one of them breaking.

"Oh !" Rin cursed which made him chuckle. If his polite girlfriend that rarely said bad words was cursing it meant that she was truly drunk.

"It's fine. I'll clean it."

"But you are tired…" She moaned, reaching out to grab the bottles but her finger brushed against the broken one and she yelped, raising her finger.

"It hurts!" She cried showing the small wound in the side of her finger to Jonghyun.

"Aigo….does it hurt a lot?"

She nodded cutely "A lot...Oppa needs to make it better!" Her voice was filled with aegyo and he tried his best not to laugh because he knew she would recoil with embarrassment the next day when he reminded her of how she acted.

"I'll take care of it!" He pecked her lips and then went in search of a medical kit in her bathroom.

"Jonghyun…" She cutely moaned from the living room.

"Wasn't I the Oppa just now?" He asked amused opening the cabinet. "Ah, there it is!"

He ped the small bag to check the contents and happy with his discovery closed the closet.

"Oppa…" Rin called.

"Yes?"

" Are we having tonight?"

"Oh !" It was his time to curse because he was so shocked with how direct his shy Rin was that night. The surprise made him bump against a small porcelain cat miniature that decorated the shelf beside the cabinet.

The object fell safely but unfortunately inside the small trash can under the sink. He grabbed a bit of toilet paper and cursing under his breath fished out the small figure, revealing what was concealed under it and a small pile of used makeup tissues. It was an object he had never seen, only in American movies. He tilted his head, firming his gaze until he could decipher two lines in it. Jonghyun quickly stood up. He had no idea what that meant but he knew that that was a pregnancy test, in the trash can of Rin' bathroom…his girlfriend. It was as if someone knocked the breath out of him and he placed a hand on the sink slightly in panic. Rin was pregnant! He was going to be a father. He looked at the pale stranger in the mirror. That man was going to be a father. Was it possible? They always used protection after all. He knew there was a small chance it still happened. But didn't Rin have her period recently? Jonghyun frowned in thought. His brain was starting to hurt. He didn't know how long after pregnancy could you do a test but he did remember his girlfriend complaining about period cramps not so long ago.

Then...what if…

Rin wasn't alone that night and by the way the test was on top of the trash it meant that it was done recently which meant that any of the girls could also have done it.

Jess...no. She wasn't into guys so that was out of the question. Then Lillie, Jules or Minseo.

Which meant either he, Jinki, Taemin, or Kibum were going to be a father.

"Oh God!" It wasn't as if they hadn't thought about it before, at least him and Jinki since they were the older ones and in a long relationship but still, the idea of it actually happening was terrifying.

It took him a few minutes to gather himself and when he left the bathroom to question Rin about the test he realized that she hadn't spoken in a while.

She was deeply asleep, half her body laying over the bed and Jonghyun stood by her side looking down at her and more importantly her tummy that was halfway uncovered. No, she wasn't pregnant because if she was she wouldn't have drunk like that. Right? She was extremely correct and would never endanger their baby. But what if she had drunk before she did the test?!

“…”

Either he or any of the SHINee members was going to be a father and he had to warn them.

 

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“How fitting!” Jules laughed sitting on the arm of the couch where Lillie was with her legs crossed, in her fluffy white and black pajamas, watching SHINee’s performance on tv while eating raw carrots from a plate. “A tokki watching a tokki perform!”

Lillie shrugged bitting on the carrot “Aren’t you watching?”

“That’s recorded and I'm meeting the one and only, the amazing Key, also known as my boyfriend.”

Lillie grinned “So it's date night?”

Jules didn't answer and instead stood up and twirled around showing her outfit to her friend. She was wearing a high waist black skirt and a very tight white button-up tee.

Lillie nodded appreciatively “You are going to blow his mind!”

“I want to blow other parts of him too!”

Lillie placed her carrot back on the plate and closed her eyes briefly “Damn Jules…that's too much information…”

Jules chuckled patting Lillie’s head “I’m joking…well not really!" Lilie rolled her eyes. She could never be so open about her ual life like Jules. "Kibum said he has something important to ask me. I'm thrilled to know what it is!”

“Could…could it be?! Marriage?!” Lillie covered and Jules shook her head.

“Don't go there! There is no way that that would happen!”

“It could…”

Lillie bit her carrot and turned away to the television again. SHINee had just finished their performance and she clapped as if she was actually there.

“Aren't you going to have a proper dinner?” Jules scolded her “You barely ate at lunch.”

“I'm on a diet!” Lillie turned off the tv and the couch to look at Jules “And I like carrots.”

“Yes, but despite me giving you the nickname tokki, you do realize that you are not one right? You need to eat more than vegetables.”

“I know. I'm taking care of my health, don't worry.”

Jules pressed her lips together and then bid Lillie goodbye. Lillie picked up another carrot and bit on it sadly. It was only the third day since she started another diet and she was already going insane with food cravings. She had to go through that sacrifice though. The magazine with her interview and Jinki’s was out and of course, she had bought it. More than one actually since she sent one to her parents and another to her brother. She kept one in her bedroom and looked at it every night. Not only it made her smile to see her and Jinki in one together but it also made her see how overweight she looked compared to everyone who came out in that magazine. She wasn't a beautiful thin Korean woman but maybe she could lose some weight and become at least a thin foreign woman.

Her stomach growled, luckily not in front of Jules who acted as her mother most of the time, and Lillie decided to give in and eat something else.

She was in the middle of grabbing an apple when Jinki called her.

“Hey. I just saw your performance on tv!”

“Ah…you did? I didn't even know it was airing.” he seemed a little distracted. Lillie bit her apple closing her eyes delighted because it's been a while since she ate something so sweet.

“You were brilliant! I really liked your outfit…”

“Lillie we need to talk!” the urgency in his voice worried her.

“Jules just went to meet Kibum. She said he also needed to talk with her! What happened?” it was surely something with SHINee, something urgent and apparently not good. “Jinki you are scaring me!”

“It’s well…we must meet.”

“No, you tell me now!”

“I can't have this conversation on the phone. It feels too much like back then.”

“Back then?”

“Yes, but honestly every second that passes is killing me. I need to know the truth. And I swear - I know I told you this before when you were on the other side of the world - but I do mean it,” he swallowed hard “If it's true then we get married. I won't wait, the soonest we release news of it, we do it. I don't care about anything else.”

“Jinki...” She was confused with all that talk about getting married and what did that have to do with Kibum or SHINee? “What are you even talking about?”

She bit the apple again.

“Are you?” He asked, sounding troubled maybe even a little scared “Are you pregnant?”

Lillie choked on the apple and covered “NO!”

He sighed relieved on the other side “Are you sure? I know about the pregnancy test, if you are hiding it to protect me or…”

“Jinki I have no idea what you're talking about but no, I'm sure that I'm not pregnant. Actually, I’ve just been on my period.”

“Oh, I see. That's good then. it's not like I don't want to have children with you but I was hoping that we would do it when we got married.”

“Right. Why are we even having this conversation? What pregnancy test?”

“Ah…Right! Jonghyun saw a pregnancy test in Rin's bathroom the night you all were there. He told us because one of us is going to be a father and…”

“One of us…oh! OH! OOOH!” Lillie gasped, releasing her apple over the counter. “Jules and Kibum and Jules….no she wouldn't!”

“She wouldn't?"

“She would tell me, right?!”

“Rin then…or Minseo!”

“Oh, Minseo!” She hadn't touched any alcohol that night or eaten much, actually, she seemed really worried about something. It was true that her relationship with Taemin was going through a phase but she seemed to be hiding more than she told them. What if she had become pregnant? What if Taemin was going to be a father? He was still very young - both of them were - and he was at the top of his career, and with how things aren't going well between them, Lillie could perfectly see her friend panicking over it all, wanting to hide it until she decided what to do.

“Min…”

“You think?” Jinki seemed as worried as her.

“Did you tell Taemin too?” He needed to confront her. If there was someone who needed to know the truth it was him.

 

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Jules was still laughing, one dog on each side of her trying to claim her attention while Kibum filled the two glasses of wine on the table.

“I can't believe you thought I was pregnant!”

He groaned “That was one hour ago. Can't you let that go?”

“No, it's just priceless. I can tell you for sure that Lillie isn't either. She would tell me, no, I would notice it because that girl is transparent. And she wouldn't be on a stupid diet if she were. My bet is on Rin. Min is acting weird but I think it's because your friend is being an to her.”

“Hey!” Kibum sat beside her and threw one of the toys away so that the dogs would move from the couch. He leaned against her and she closed the distance between them too. “Why?”

“Why is he an ? I think he is cheating on her!”

“Taemin would never.”

“You sure about it?”

“One hundred percent sure. That boy would never betray anyone. He can hide things, be a jokester even but his heart is good.”

Jules pressed her lips together “He better not do it. Min suffered a lot already and I know how hard it is to give yourself completely to someone after your heart has been broken.”

“You mean what happened with Minho?”

“No. I don't think she ever felt for Minho what she feels for Taemin and I was talking about myself here.”

Kibum chuckled, grabbing his glass of wine.

“You do realize that the moment I decided to be with you was hard on me?”

“Because you loved Minjae?”

“Because I was scared to love you.”

He his lips “Are you still scared?”

She pulled him to her lips, devilishly tasting the wine on his tongue.

“No point in being scared anymore. What is done is done!”

He hummed placing the glass of wine on the table and then turned to kiss her again. She wrapped an arm around his neck and he pushed her down on the couch. They kissed passionately, his lips only moving from hers to grace her neck, one of his hands ing her tee until he revealed the vale of her s.

He kissed the skin there, his other hand caressing her under her skirt.

His teeth nibbled on her neck and she moaned. To see her expression Kibum pulled himself up over her. They looked at each other and Jules smiled back when he caressed her hair.

“When I asked you why, I meant why was the idea of getting pregnant so funny?”

She her lips “I never imagined myself having kids!”

“Why?” He caressed her cheek. “I think you would be a great mother.”

“You don't mean that.”

“I do.”

She chuckled, “You only say that because you want to be a father.”

“That's one of the reasons, yes.”

Even though she had made that comment, his admission took her breath away. Maybe he wanted her to be the mother of his children?

“You really didn't want me to be pregnant. You looked extremely relieved when I told you I wasn't.”

“That's because we aren't married, not even in a public relationship. You are smart. You know that any of the members of my team would be relieved. It's not like we don't want to be fathers, it's just that it isn't the right time or ideal circumstance. Besides, I don't think any of us are ready. Well, maybe Jinki or Jonghyun. I could see them marrying in the near future and starting their families. But for us…”

“We barely do anything besides working.”

“Right.” he agreed and both fell into silence. She didn't know what to say because she also didn't know what she was feeling. Sometimes it felt like their relationship was going nowhere and she wasn't sure if she wanted to get married to him or anyone, or even have kids. When all her friends were planning weddings she had felt the calling to do it but she wondered if she did want it for the romantic notion of it. Because at the same time it scared her to attach herself to someone so...officially. She wasn't sure if she was really made to be in a long-life commitment like that. Of course, you could say that weddings nowadays weren't forever. But she never imagined herself divorcing the man she would marry. Her parents had been together for years, a happy last long marriage and if she was going to go through with it then it needed to be forever. She did love Kibum and in no way she could see herself without him but did he even feel the same about her? She knew he loved her but could he see himself marrying her and spending such a long time with only a woman? She knew how fickle he was with things. For him loving something for a long time was rare and she wondered if that side of his personality applied to women too. Could they even make it work when they seemed to struggle with a normal relationship?! She didn’t know what she wanted anymore.

“It's alright.” he said finally touching the corner of her lip as if he read her mind “ We don't need to put all of our cards on the table. For now, we enjoy being with each other, we love each other don't we?”

“Yes.”

He smiled gently, “And we are working hard on our careers and having fun when we are together?”

She nodded and he kissed her “That's enough.”

For now, it seemed like it was and she pulled him down to her lips again. But was it? She had spent the last weeks complaining how she wanted him more in her life to all of her friends. Maybe she should share it with him, she should demand more as his girlfriend. Yet his lips were warm on her neck, his body hard and familiar was on top of her and she didn't want to open that wound. So she decided to let it go and enjoy the moment that was so rare between them.

 

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Rin pulled the sheets down to release her arms and inhaled heavily. “That was something else.”

He turned his head to look at her still feeling breathless from their lovemaking. “I have something for you.”

“A gift?” She asked still with her eyes closed.

He sat up on the bed and grabbed the paper bag he had placed next to the bed. She watched him still in after bliss and he cleared his throat before pulling out a small baby comfort blanket in the shape of a brown puppy.

Rin stared at the toy for a while, a small smile parting her lips “What is this?”

He gave it to her and she hugged it against her chest. “It's fluffy.”

“It's for babies,” he explained.

She sat up too and examined the toy “Yes I know. But what's the occasion?”

He stared at her for a while and she raised her eyebrows wondering what he was doing. After a while, he sighed relieved.

“Oh, you are not. Of course!” he smiled to himself “I knew you wouldn't drink if you were.”

“Alright…what is happening here?”

He grabbed her hand and started to explain to her about the night when he found the pregnancy test. He told her about the hard conversation he had with the members and how all of them decided to ask their girlfriends to be sure that that was all a mistake.

“So, thankfully you are not pregnant. Jinki texted me some hours ago saying Lillie isn't either, nor Jules. Only Taemin is left.” Jonghyun bit his lower lip “I mean there was Jess that night too. Not probable but still better than Taemin’s girlfriend being…”

“Jonghyun…” her chin trembled and she released a moan of pain.

“Oh, no no…” he immediately pulled her to his arms. “I didn't mean to hurt you. I know you want to get married and have children but…”

“It’s not that!” she complained pushing the toy against his chest and him away as if it was his fault.

“What is it then?”

Rin growled and left the bed grabbing her clothes in the process.

“Rin?!” Jonghyun called for her “Are you upset with me? With what I said?”

“NO!” he never saw her like that ever since the times when they used to argue over Jess. “It's not you I am mad about. It's someone else with a stupid pretty eye smile! I'm going to kill him!”

“Jinki?” Jonghyun asked, confused. “What did he do?”

 

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The sound of the cicadas seemed even louder that night, maybe because both of them sat awkwardly side by side on the park bench.

Taemin had learned about that place from Jinki. it was a special one, filled with memories of him with Lillie. It was a small park that didn't have many people and had been the place where he had dated Lillie often, special when they had started seeing each other. Like the special person he was, Jinki had lent it to Taemin to meet Minseo.

“The coffee is nice.” he said talking about the coffee he had bought for both of them and she nodded, barely looking at him. They didn't even hold hands yet and even though they were sitting next to each other he felt as if she was miles away. There was only one explanation for that behavior, she had probably found out she was pregnant and didn't know how to tell him. Was she worried that he would be mad at her? Of course, he was scared and truly hoped that he was wrong but he was no longer a kid and knew exactly what he needed to do.

“You seem distant.”

His words made her turn to him and she didn't seem happy “Really? Distant? You haven't been the most present person in this relationship recently!”

Taemin swallowed hard. He never had argued with Minseo and he truly didn't want to hurt her. He only wanted her to open up to him and tell him what was wrong.

“D-did you…ah…” he needed to ask her about the pregnancy test.

“Tell me!” She interrupted, turning on the bench to face him “Just tell me the truth!”

“Ah…” He wasn't sure what she was talking about.

“That's all I want to know, you don't even need to tell me more! Just the reasons behind it.”

“Min I…”

“Did you grow tired of me? Did you realize I wasn't it? Just tell me! It's making me go crazy!”

He paled because not only he couldn't understand where that had come from but because she seemed near crying.

“I didn't grow tired of you and…”

“Then why have you been avoiding me?”

“I haven't. We talk every day. You are the one who is acting weird!”

“Me? Last week you didn't call me or answer my calls once!”

“Oh that!” he mumbled slowly dawning on him. Of course, she would get hurt with him. He hasn't called her often and even ignored some of her texts. He was a complete for those two weeks until he met Melody.

“I’ve been busy with the comeback.”

She scoffed turning around and he knew she didn't believe his excuses.

“I hate how people hide things for me.” She confessed and he swallowed hard knowing she meant Minho too and the relationship he started with her to forget another woman.

“I’m sorry.” He probably should have told her about how he met Melody, but he didn't think that it mattered anymore. She was part of the past. He realized it before he made a mistake and left Min for her. “I know that I haven't been here much but I am now and I can explain it all to you. There were a couple of things happening at the same time.”

“Why did you call me tonight to meet you?” Minseo asked, looking sharply at him.

“Jonghyun told me about a pregnancy test.”

Minseo pressed her lips together “Lillie called me too.”

“Ah.” he waited for Min to say something but she didn't elaborate. “If you are pregnant I'll help you raise the baby. I take full responsibility. We can get married.”

She stared at him as if he had just hit her “Is that why you aren't breaking up with me? Because of a baby? Because you are sorry and think you need to take responsibility?”

, she was pregnant. He barely could breathe and yet she kept accusing him of things without giving him time for the news to settle in. He was going to be a father and he barely felt like an adult most of the time.

“I don't need you, not like this!” She leaned forward hiding her face on her hands crying and he hesitated, raising his hand to touch her but gave up in the end, instead he kneeled on the ground in front of her. She raised her teary eyes to his.

“Min…” he grabbed her hand as he had wished since the first time he saw her that night “It's not because of the baby. I care for you, I think...I..." he his lips feeling almost in front of her, vulnerable, his heart open for her to see every little piece of it, "I said it before, I love you."

She blinked her eyes, a myriad of feelings crossing them.

He swallowed hard trying to put into words what he was feeling but it was always so hard for him "This pregnancy…can be a blessing. It's not like I expected to get married so soon but I think we can make it work.”

"Make it work..." she repeated tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, her eyes moving to something behind him. She sniffed, seeming as breathless with his confession than he had just been with the baby news and Taemin took the chance to hug her. She hugged him back and even though she wasn't crying anymore he could feel her take slow deep breaths as if trying to calm herself down.

She pulled away and he realized that she hadn't said the words back as she did before. Did she also love him? He couldn't help but search her eyes worried that he had seen too much into their relationship. There was something else she wasn't telling him, something painful and he couldn't figure out. It seemed as if she was conflicted about something.

“I'm not pregnant!”

He stood there kneeling his mouth open and no word coming out.

“I saw you.” She cleaned her cheek and pulled him up to sit beside her and he did it watching her carefully. “I was worried since you were ignoring me so I decided to surprise you so I waited outside the company but you came out in a rush and didn't see me. You got in your car and I tried to call you but you ignored my call.”

He felt like an idiot and slowly as her lips were moving he felt it, an approaching sense of guilt, of impending doom and he couldn't do anything to stop it. It was too late now.

“I followed you. I shouldn't have but…”

“You what?” He should feel betrayed by her suspicion but he didn't even have that right because he knew he had wronged her.

“I saw you with her. It was Melody, wasn't it? You were meeting with her, weren't you? That's why you ignored me. She is back and you don't know what you want any more, or better you want her. It's happening again…I'm the other girl!” Minseo released her hand from his “You don't need to keep dating me. I don't want to make it work, I'm tired of trying to make my relationships work." She cried "I'm not pregnant! Nothing is linking us together so you are free to go to her.”

“I didn't lie.” he said immediately “And I don't want her, I haven't cheated on you I swear.” he tried to explain but she was already standing up. “No please.” he grabbed her hand again and she hesitated.

“I love you. I shouldn't have hidden my encounter with her from you, I shouldn't have ignored you but that's the truth. I do love you!”

“Do you? Or do you think you do because I made you feel good after being alone for so long?" She cleaned the tears from her cheek "I feel betrayed. Even though you didn't cheat on me you hid something important like that from me for a reason. She still is important to you!”

“Of course she is, she was my first love!” And there was a truth behind the saying that you never forget a first love. That doesn't mean however that that person would be the only one for you, that your heart won't learn to love someone else, that that person is the one.

Minseo pressed her lips together and he caressed her knuckles. Once again someone he cared for was leaving him, breaking up with him. “Min, don't be like her.”

“I'm not Melody. I'm not breaking up with you because you are an idol. I'm breaking up with you because of you and me, and how I can't do this anymore. See, she was the first one that came to your mind!”

“She is over for me!”

“Is she? Great! Then maybe she isn't for me. I've been thinking a lot these past weeks and I want to focus on my studies. I can't do this anymore. It just hurts to go through this again and I can't focus…”

“Please Min. I know you care for me.”

“I do. I also lo…” She stopped, her lips and turned away unable to say the words back to him. It hurt too much. “It's because I care for you that I think we should separate for a while. I don't want to end up hating you, doubting what we had together. I need to focus on myself now. Being in these kinds of relationships isn’t helping me mentally either. I’m just so tired. I need time and space, I need to be alone for a while…”

Her words cut him deeply. He didn't realize she was having such a hard time. While he was focused on his career and struggling with the return of his ex she also had issues of her own. He felt ashamed that he had not shared his problems with her, because then maybe she had shared hers with him also. Maybe he would know how tired she was with college and part-time jobs, being away from her family and dating someone in secret that was absent, someone that she thought didn't care for her enough, that saw her as a replacement for another woman like Minho did.

He swallowed hard, his chest aching, and released her hand. He didn't have the right to hold on to her when he only caused her pain. Maybe he also needed to grow up. Maybe he needed to learn to share, to communicate for a relationship to work.

She hesitated as if a part of her wished that he did not release her hand. She ended up grabbing her bag from over the bench and glanced at him one last time “I'm sorry! You have no idea how hard this is.”

He sat on the bench alone watching Minseo until he could no longer see her. The cicadas kept singing ignoring his turmoil and he stood there for a while in that same bench that had seen its fair of lovers' encounters and probably arguments too, wondering if he could ever mend the mess he had done and recover the part of his heart that she had just taken away with her.

 

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Lillie pushed the door of the office open and froze when she saw Do Joon sitting at her desk.

“I know I'm late but I have a perfect explanation for it.” It wasn't entirely her fault that she had missed her bus that morning. Now that Do Joon wasn't acting as her bodyguard anymore she was being way more careful on her way to work and with what she wore in public or how she looked. She had spent a great amount of deal that morning trying to make her hair presentable.

“Lillie I'm ed!” he exclaimed, staring at her in anguish. And that's when she noticed the dark circles under this eyes, how his clothes didn't seem to match that day, how it seemed like he hadn't combed his hair. Her boss that looked out of a fashion magazine photoshoot looked as if he had been run over by a car.

Lillie released her bag and coat on her desk and stared at him. “What happened? Can I help you?”

He released a cry and shook his head “I really ed it up this time. I’ve always been so careful, I don't know how this happened.” he ran a hand through his hair, which was probably the reason behind how awful it looked “Well I do know that I lowered my defenses this time, both our fault on that! But she can be very…torrid and I'm weak when she does that thing with her tongue and there was that time when we went out for a weekend and we didn't have more condoms…I didn't think one time would do it…argh, I must be super fertile. We both are! God, I'm an idiot!”

“Ah!” Lillie almost screamed covering “You?" She whispered and then screamed "YOU AND RIN'S SISTER!”

He nodded, sitting back on her chair as if the weight of the world was on his shoulders. He rubbed a hand on his tired face and sighed almost lifeless “Yes, Ria is pregnant. I'm going to be a father.”

 

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Hi~

This is a special chapter for me. Not because it is better written than others or longer...(I'm actually not totally satisfied with it and rewrote that Taemin and Minseo part so many times, Jules and Kibum too ) 

This is actually a very important chapter and it's mostly focused on the secondary couples.

I wanted something funny to turn into something that might give us an insight into how our couples are at the moment.

The idea of turning the SHINee boys into a possible father was too tempting and there was a time when I thought about doing it to Jonghyun. But nope...DoJoon got that honor and what a rollercoaster ride it's going to be for him. 

I'm sure that this will make him grow and maybe find what Lillie and Jinki have ;)

Clearly, Jinki and Jonghyun are ready for marriage so their scenes were mostly funny...but what about the other two couples?

Jules and Kibum?

Taemin and Minseo?

My chest hurts that I did this to my fictional Taemin but I knew it had to be done at some point in the story and I feel like it fits perfectly here.

There is a time jump planned very soon and more heartbreak for several characters.

We are also at the 35th chapter and if I'm not wrong I finished Dating an idol in chapter 40. This one might go to 50 so I'm sorry....>.<

I'm planning on cutting some things I had thought about for the story before and maybe adding them as epilogues or specials.

 

Also, and much more important than anything, send Taemin (his Instagram), the real one, all the love in the world. There is a chance he might check it and I hope it makes him smile, to see so many lovely messages. 

Thank you for reading~

Chat with me on twitter.

 

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pirili
I forgot to say after chapter 18 but this chapter was dedicated to our Kibum! Please support his solo album! <3

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DolphinWorld
1976 streak #1
Chapter 14: Kibum and Taemin trying to cheer up Minho like that was the sweetest! Also, Jonghyun's a cute brother, being worried about his sister like that. And Jules is coming back soon? Yay!! Also, what's up with that Half-Korean guy from Sweden. He was kinda hitting on her, wasn't he? Anyway, can't wait to read more. But will be back later to read more ^^
DolphinWorld
1976 streak #2
Chapter 13: Aw poor Minho! I mean I really can't accept what Eunha did and I'm not even Minho biased. Her doing whatever it takes to climb up the ladder is, although I don't support it, still all her personal belief. But cheating on your boyfriend for it is a totally different thing. No excuses at all for it. Her breaking up with him directly would probably have hurt him less than this. Anyway, you living out your kinks through Jinki and Lillie though! I'm starting to have no words to comment on the bunnies anymore. And I miss Jules for some reason. I will be back later to read more!
DolphinWorld
1976 streak #3
Chapter 12: you might probably come and finish me for saying this, somehow I'm starting to ship and root for Taemin and Minseo more than the main pair. lol... These two are simply so cute. Taemin's and Kibum's interaction was kinda funny. and Do Joon annoying Jinki is totally another story. here's just me hoping he wouldn't end up buried under somewhere with the extreme of his jokes. lol. Also, i'm glad Minho is finally doubting about Eunha and that Jonghyun was with him when it happened. Anyway, can't wait to read more. But will be back later to do so ^^
DolphinWorld
1976 streak #4
Chapter 11: I'm glad Taemin and Minseo are finally getting somewhere. Hopefully they get to resolve them soon. They are cute together. I don't know what happened between Jonghyun and Rin but I think it's good that they made up? I know I'm here because of Jinki and Lillie but these days it's the other couples I'm here more for I think. LoL... Guess I enjoy drama more than lovey-dovey/spicy romance. And Bummie curled up on Jules sweater because he missed her is so cute. Last but not least, Eunha is really something. I mean whatever kinks she has, it's totally up to her but cheating is a whole different thing. Can't justify it for any reason/cause. Anyway, I will be back later to read more.
DolphinWorld
1976 streak #5
Chapter 10: There were to many cute moments in this chapter indeed... Lillie and Jinki were cute and hornby too. LoL... And Jules and Key finally resolved their misunderstanding. And Kibummie is sooo cute. Hopefully he(?) soon develops a bond with Jules soon. I mean she's already jealous that he got along well with Lillie and Jinki but not her. Also, Do Joon is funny. I mean him teasing her like that even in front of Jinki is kinda ask for a death wish. LoL... Also, wonder how things are gonna go better Taemin and Minseo. And I don't know how I feel about Eunha. Anyway, I will be back later to read more ^^
DolphinWorld
1976 streak #6
Chapter 9: First of all, I'm glad they are back together finally. But I'm worried about your a/n. What do you mean by little bumps? NVM, no spoilers please... and although I'm unsure of the method Kibum decided to take to console Jules. Can't wait to see how that goes. Hopefully not bad. Also, Minseo should start being to herself about her feelings even though I understand where she's coming from. And whoa! Definitely wasn't expecting that turn of events for Eun Ha and that ert senior. Not sure if I should feel relieved that he was being honest and also sincere about what he's expecting. Anyway, so much happened. Can't wait to read more. But will be back later to do so ^^
DolphinWorld
1976 streak #7
Chapter 8: Jules and Key fighting like that... I really hope things would get better between them soon. Main Lillie should intervene or something like she was thinking. And whoa! Dojoon and Lillie went beyond what I expected but the turn of the events later wasn't expected either. Jonghyun and Jinki were being cute together as well. And when Lillie pulled the reverse Uno card on Minseo, I laughed a bit. Also, Eunha should really do something about that creepy sunbae. I mean that's definitely not a message a rational person/friend would send. Kinda sent me shivers while reading it. I wasn't expecting Jinki's mother to react like that to Lillie being back in Korea. I mean she saw firsthand how much Jinki suffered when Lillie broke off with him. So if kinda came as a surprise. Anyway, I'm glad that they got back together finally after all that drama. Also, the cartoon pic at the end of the chapter is cute. But the red scarf kinda reminds of the drama Goblin. LoL... I will be back later to read more ^^
DolphinWorld
1976 streak #8
Chapter 7: Min Hee finally came clean with what she had done! I'm glad she had the courage to that even though she knew what kind of consequences it would lead to. Guess I gotta appreciate the girl for that, even though she was the one who brought things to this stage. And yeah, Taemin and Minseo was pretty cute together. Can't wait to see how things would go between them. Also, looks like our worst fear is slowly coming true with Eunha and that sunbae. I mean, we all doubted his intentions right from the beginning right? Hopefully, things doesn't go way out of hand and so lead her to a very dangerous situation. And coming to Jules and Key, I'm not sure if purposely getting your S.O jealous is the right thing to do. I mean it could even push the other person away. Oh, I enjoyed the interaction between Lillie and Do Joon after they walked out of the movie theater. They were kinda funny and cute. and talking of Do Joon, he's just trying to make Lillie take back her offer herself by playing along with her (at the end), isn't he? btw, no spoilers please (despite all my rantings and questions. lol) Anyway, I think Jinki should make his feelings known to her before its too late. Can't wait to read more. But will be back later to do so ^^
DolphinWorld
1976 streak #9
Chapter 6: Okay, now I'm officially not liking Minhee anymore. I mean she had one last chance to confess what she has done to Lillie but there she goes, trying to grab an underserved second chance. And Jinki should be firm in making up his mind. He really should confront Lillie about the things she's been saying but he doesn't understand. And he should break up with Minhee soon. Albeit unknowingly, he's turning the girl into a psycho. At least Lillie was a bit straightforward about him doing two different things and confusing her. I think Do Joon is kinda the MVP here I guess. I mean he did kiss her without her consent and is kinda confused right now but still otherwise he was trying to make Jinki act upon his true feelings. Also, wasn't expecting Jules actual name to be that. But then again Western names confuses me at times like Tom, Tim and so on are not actually given names but they are nicknames or so. Anyway, this chapter was super long but I did enjoy reading through them. And I will be back later to read more ^^
DolphinWorld
1976 streak #10
Chapter 5: Once again so much happened in this chapter! I'm not even sure where to begin. Let's start with Jinki. It was his fault to drag on things with Min Hee even though he was sure he didn't feel anything for her except for physical stuff. Now he has turned her into an evil being. And now I'm supposed to hate on Min Hee as well? I know jealousy has driven her to that edge but still it's not right. Probably Do Joon and his antics are the comic relief in this tragic drama I think. Also, the thing with Taemin and Minseo, I know you explained it in the chapter but still didn't sit right with me. Is the Consent while drunk and past being tipsy really a consent? That's a debatable topic I think. And what's this ominous feeling I'm getting about Jules and Key? Also Minho's girlfriend (sorry forgot her name), wonder if that married sunbae was trying to flirt with her or was just being a genuine caring person with no ulterior motives. Anyway, can't wait to read more. But will be back later to do so ^^