Sometimes, I get drunk from the seasons

I deceive myself with words that sound momentarily genuine

I love you

I love you

You

- A kind of confession (Kim Yoon Joo) - 

The music stopped and Lillie pulled the small drawer of the snow globe. Inside it was the necklace Jinki gave her and now she was going to place both the rings. First she placed his ring and after briefly looking at her hand she pulled hers from her finger and placed it in the box next to the ring that completed it.

She closed the drawer and looked at her now bare hand.

Something was missing.

He was missing and she needed to learn how to live with that.

Jinki was kneeling on the floor of Min Hee’s bedroom when she entered it. He barely noticed her, glancing at the door quickly before standing up from the floor with tired eyes and a headache threatening to come out.

“Why are you still here? Don’t you have a plane to catch?” She asked feigning ignorance about what he was doing. “Did you lose something?” How could he notice it right way?!

“I have one hour and yes I lost something.” He grabbed his jacket and shook it again searching inside the pockets “I can’t believe I lost it. Not again…not now...”

He seemed desperate and even grabbed Min Hee’s pillows turning them to see if something was under. He did the same to the covers of her bed.

“What did you lose?” Min Hee asked motionless watching him move around the bedroom with no avail because she knew that the ring was very far away from there with Lillie.

“The ring…my ring…” He blushed turning to her, knowing that the mention of that ring was something she always hated. “I was drunk yesterday so maybe I left it on the bar or maybe inside the taxi. I think I have his number I can call.”

“It will be hard to find it. You might have lost it in the street or anywhere really.”

Jinki groaned touching his neck as if a part of him wasn’t there anymore.

“It’s only a ring.” Min Hee said making him look at her outraged.

“It’s not only a ring!” His voice came out more rough than he intended “It’s more than that. Much more!” It was funny how he once said the same thing to Lillie not realizing why she was upset when he did say it. Now things seemed a lot different.

“It’s a stupid ring you shared with your ex!” Min Hee remarked crossing her arms “A stupid ring you shouldn’t be wearing anymore.”

Jinki his lips because Min Hee was right on being hurt with him; however he had the right to be sad and frustrated about the loss of that ring.

“I’m sorry. I should leave!”

He grabbed his jacket to leave but Min Hee halted him, placing herself in front of him. “No. I’m sorry. I know how that ring seems to be important to you. I’ll help you search for it. Maybe it fell somewhere around the room.”

With time she was sure he would forget about that ring.

“I need to go. I don’t have much time and I still need to pass by the bar I was to check if they have it.” He pulled his arm away from Min Hee and left without even saying goodbye to her.

The ring wasn’t there anymore and yet its presence was still pulling them apart.

Dojoon wasn’t sure how much someone could cry and for how long but Lillie was certainly trying to break a record there.

She arrived late for work making him worried since she was always on time and sat on her chair in silence not answering to him when he asked about what happened. Then she started crying and she was still crying for almost an hour now.

Do Joon gave up on asking what happened after a while and instead gave her a glass of water and paper tissues leaving her alone. She cried in silence for half an hour with him peeking at her once in a while until he just gave up and left his office again.

“Feeling better?”

Lillie didn’t answer, avoiding looking at him and shook her head instead, hiding her eyes on another paper tissue.

“What happened?” Still no answer.  Dojoon grabbed a chair and sat beside her “Look, I’m sorry for what happened yesterday but I didn’t lie when I said I would protect you if needed. You are not only my secretary, you are also my friend and I’m worried with you.”

Lillie glanced at Dojoon trying to see if he was just joking with her but he seemed honest.

“Tell me. I promise I won’t tease you and I’ll try to be honest and help you the best I can.” He leaned on her desk “If I misbehave you can punch me. I’ll let you!”

He clearly knew that whatever it was it probably had to do with Lee Jinki.

Lillie smiled weakly rubbing the tissue on her red nose and then she showed him her fist, opening it so the ring inside could be revealed.

Dojoon stared at the ring that had a shape of a heart cut out on it and then raised his eyes to Lillie wondering what that meant.

She insisted showing him the ring and he grabbed it carefully rotating it on his fingers until he saw the inscription inside.

J heart L

It made total sense now and his eyes fell on Lillie’s hand on her lap, the one that had a ring that matched that one but with a heart instead. It was actually a cute concept, her ring fitted perfectly on his. It was romantic and clearly those were couples rings.

“I see!”

“He wasn’t wearing it lately. “Lillie informed him, her voice coming out raspy from the crying “but he kept it…until today.”

“What does that mean?” He was never in a serious relationship. He never once bought a couple ring or wear one.

“We are definitely over.”

She took a deep breath, tears falling down her eyes and stared at a spot behind Dojoon, her mind lost somewhere.

He didn’t know what to say, he wasn’t even sure about what to feel. He was sad for her because he knew how much Onew meant to her but it wasn’t as if he didn’t suspect that that would happen soon.

However…

Lee Jinki was either a big giving her hopes or maybe, if he was that great man she saw in him, he still had feelings for her.

“I don’t know what to say. I’m really sorry!”

Lillie sobbed covering her face “I knew it would happen…ever since the first day we started dating I knew he wasn’t meant for me. Someone so amazing like him!”

“Hey!” Dojoon shook Lillie’s chair “Don’t say that. That’s not true and you know it!”

Lillie cleaned her eyes but it was useless because she simply couldn’t stop crying “I don’t know anymore. I really hoped I was wrong.”

“Well maybe you are.” He said gently “Maybe this is good and you are giving yourselves a time to think. Sometimes the timing is not right.”

“What?”

“Breaking up now doesn’t mean that it’s the ending. People get back together all the time. They realize how they can’t be without each other, how they still have strong feelings from each other. Maybe right now is just not the right time to be together.”

“What do you even know?!” Lillie exclaimed “You were never in a relationship!”

Dojoon touched his chest pretending to be offended “Who said that?”

“You…wait you were?”

“No.” He rubbed his head “…but that doesn’t mean that I don’t know some things about relationships. I’ve watched movies and read books…”

She chuckled slightly before blowing her nose.

Dojoon watched her for a while. She was a complete mess with wet cheeks, red nose and eyes but she also looked pretty with her wet eyelashes and sparkling wet eyes and red lips.

“Give it time. Time for you…for him, for both of you and just wait to see what happens.”

He gave the ring back to her and Lillie grabbed it safely with her fingers. “Keep it! Maybe it will get back to the finger of his owner someday. If it really belongs there, it will.”

Lillie smiled weakly sniffing her nose “Thank you.”

Dojoon pursed his lips cutely, realizing that this was the first time he actually tried to help a crying girl and managed to. He was never the sensitive type. “Sometimes I’m a good guy!”

“Sometimes you are.” Lillie agreed with him and Dojoon stood up from his seat.

Lillie watched him walk away awkwardly and she suddenly had an idea. “Do you still want to listen to it?” She asked.

“Listen to?”

She showed him her phone. She was going to do it on her way there but lost all her courage. Somehow that felt like the perfect moment and she didn’t want to be alone. Jules and her friends were busy and Dojoon was her only friend there by her side.

“The song, the one he sang for me. I want to listen to it to give me courage but I can’t do it alone. I’m going to cry a lot probably and…”She regretted asking him. He was her boss and he was already too nice to her. She couldn’t make him such a silly request. “Forget it. It’s a stupid idea!”

“No! No!” He sat beside her again. “It’s an honor. Let’s hear it.”

Lillie cleared and opened the kakao chat she shared with Jinki.

Without raising her eyes she opened the sound message.

“It’s me.” 

Dojoon watched Lillie by the corner of his eye, trying to not make her uncomfortable with all the staring but he wanted to see how she reacted to that man’s voice.

“I wanted to send you something that would make you think of me every time you are sad. I used to do this when I went overseas before. So this time it’s you going and I thought that maybe….well maybe you could answer back to me with a message too. I know I’m being eager for love…”

That was cute and sweet but Lillie wasn’t smiling. She was expressionless and Dojoon moved uneasy on his chair.

“Also I wanted to tell you something I couldn’t this morning. Thank you. I am also thankful for you coming into my life. I never realized how much I was missing until I met you. I know I told you that before but…You also told me so many times before didn’t you?! Thank you!”

She was crying again, probably remembering what she felt when she received that message and what she felt at that exact moment now.

 “Also I won’t ever forget the number one in your list. It’s my first one too and someday we will accomplish that. I’m certain!”

Dojoon wondered what that was about but it probably was something important since Lillie whimpered.

“Also I’m sorry I didn’t get to do this personally. I was saving it for a special day because I know its special to you and because now it’s special to me too. But yesterday when you left I realized how it fitted this moment perfectly. How the lyrics fitted us more than ever.”

Then he started singing. Dojoon never heard that song coming out from anyone’s lips besides Lillie. This time it was the original singer singing it but for Dojoon that song belonged to Lillie.

She closed her eyes one Jinki started singing and Dojoon watched, while tears fall down her eyes.

Now he knew why she chose that moment to hear the song. He also knew she lied saying that she used to hear it all the time. She didn’t. She was afraid to do so.

Because that song was some kind of a confession but also a goodbye. Onew sang it to her, because it was a special song for both and because he was happy he met her. He did it not knowing that it would truly be a goodbye song.

The song ended after what seemed like an eternity but Lillie didn’t open her eyes.

“Come back to me soon. I love you and will keep loving you even if you try to break up with me.

Lee Jinki laughed and the audio ended.

She barely moved and Dojoon wasn’t sure about what to do so he stayed by her side in silence waiting for the moment she was ready to breathe again.

Kibum pushed Jules leg away from the spot on the bed he wanted to sit and sat by her side grabbing the list he made previously that day.

“So you are really going with the party?” She asked peeking over his shoulder while she petted Garçon.

“Yes. It’s my birthday and I want to do something big with my closest friends.”

The plan was to make a small party at his new place with his friends. His apartment wasn’t big but he wasn’t planning to invite many people either. Besides the SHINee members and Jules he had a few more friends famous and not famous to invite.

Kibum already made the list with all things he would need like food and drinks, the music he would play and he even planned to install a karaoke machine.

“Is it really ok if Lillie comes?” Jules asked again “I mean Onew will come right?”

Kibum was distracted with the list that he barely heard what Jules was saying. “Maybe I should order more food.”

“Are you even listening to me?”

He glanced at Jules “I am and yes it’s ok. It’s my birthday and she helped me with the kids before so yes she is welcomed to my party. Besides I don’t think Onew will be upset. He will be really happy to see her here.”

Jules grinned leaning forward on the bed “What do you mean he will be happy?”

Kibum swallowed, his eyes on the kitty like woman in front of him.

“I didn’t say he was going to be happy? Did I?”

“Yes you did!” She almost meowed seductively releasing Garçon and caressing Kibum’s thigh.

“Ok, well he didn’t tell me anything but we think…”

“We as in SHINee?”

“Yes we think that he is a little down ever since she stopped talking with him.”

Jinki didn’t open up with them or told them anything yet but Kibum knew from Jules that he and Lillie weren’t talking anymore.

“That doesn’t make any sense. He was the one who gave the ring back to her and basically told her to keep away from him.”

Kibum shrugged his shoulders “Yes I know, you told me but he looks so down this last week that we wonder what he is doing.”

Jules didn’t answer thinking about Kibum’s words “Do you think his girlfriend made him do it? That she made him push Lillie away.”

Kibum stared at the paper on his hand and then looked around searching for a pen to add a few other things he forgot before. “I doubt she could. If Jinki is serious about Lillie he would never let anyone push him away from her.”

“Then he is really over her.” Jules said disappointed sitting back on Kibum’s bed.

Kibum looked at her sorrowful. There was nothing they could do “How is Lillie?”

“Miserable. I really don’t want to believe this is the end. I really thought they were meant to be.”

“Maybe they are. Maybe this is still not the end.”

Jules frowned “That silly boss of Lillie told her the same thing.”

“Who? The one who thinks you are hot?” Kibum asked without any hint of jealousy standing up from his bed “Do you have a pen?”

Jules never liked jealous men but the fact Kibum wasn’t even a little bit jealous annoyed her. “My bag!”

Kibum ignored her expression and grabbed Jules bag from over the side of his bed. He rummaged through it wondering how could she even find anything inside that huge bag?!

“Dojoon is his name.” Jules laid down on the bed “The one who keeps looking at me in a very lustful way.”

“Hum hum!” Kibum hummed finally founding the pen next to Jules’ passport.

“What are you doing with your passport inside you bag. You can lose it!”

“Don’t you even dare to open it!” Jules said urgently sitting on the bed.

That caught Kibum’s full attention and he gave her a suspicious look before grabbing it.

Jules jumped off from the bed immediately and tried to take it away but Kibum turned around with it gracefully.

“What’s wrong?” He asked laughing at her reaction “Is your picture that bad?”

“No! Give it back please!” She groaned frustrated back hugging him trying to prevent him from seeing it but Kibum was already skillfully opening it.

Garçon watched them from the bed yawning cutely.

Kibum stared at the picture while Jules gave up and stepped back from him.

It was a normal picture and actually apart for looking younger she was still the same Jules in it.

He lowered his arms now that she gave up on fighting for the passport and looked at the picture more attentively. She was always the prettiest and that made him smile.

“You look good on the picture. Why are you eve so scared to…”

He stopped talking when he noticed the name on the passport.

It wasn’t Jules what was written in it.

“Now you know!” Jules mumbled sitting on the bed covering her face embarrassed. He never saw her act like that and blinked his eyes astonished.

“Juliette?” He asked eyeing the passport again just to be sure “Your name is Juliette?”

Jules or Juliette hugged herself before falling on her side on the bed, too embarrassed to face him “Yes. My mother was a romantic….”

“Like really? Juliette? Not Jules?” Kibum asked again.

“Yes. Juliette is my real name but my dad always called me Jules and the name stick to me.”

“Why did you never told me?” Kibum asked sitting beside his Juliette in the bed.

He liked it. Somehow that romantic name fitted her.

“Only Lillie knows and I basically threatened her that I would cut all her Onew posters if she ever said anything!”

“But why?” He couldn’t really understand. It sounded like such a pretty name to him.

“Because it’s a very embarrassing name!” Jules said sitting up on the bed, her cheeks red. It was something so hard to see that Kibum was amused “It’s such a weak name too. So….drama like…”

“No. It’s a beautiful name.  Hey Juliette~…” He sang making her even more embarrassed. “It fits you actually. I can be your Romeo!”

His sweet cheesy comment made Jules even more embarrassed but still she looked up at him. Kibum took that chance to kiss her and grabbed her hands on his.

“Really? You like it?”

“I love it. I can sing you Juliette when you are upset and make you smile.” Kibum remarked.

“I will kill you if you do that!” Her comment amused him “Will you really be my Romeo?”

“Yes my Juliette!” Kibum kissed Jules cheek “But before I have a party to plan!”

Juliette watched him turn his back on her and start to write on the paper again.

She crossed her arm upset with her Romeo and decided to attack him instead. Juliette kneeled behind him wrapping her arms around his body, her lips delivering small kisses to the back of his neck.

Romeo was strong but he wasn’t that strong when it came to Juliette charms and soon he would give in.

Jinki was normally the quiet type and he liked to watch the others having fun, delivering one of his remarkable puns or jokes once in a while. That day was different though. While the others were rehearsing and having fun Jinki was sitting on a corner his thoughts somewhere else very far away from that room in Japan. He was still in South Korea, his mind busy with memories and worries about his love life.

Minho was telling a funny story to one of the dancers using his improved Japanese while Jonghyun and Key corrected him slightly.

Taemin was with them for a while laughing at the story but once he spotted Jinki alone he grabbed a cup of coffee and sat beside him offering it to his hyung.

It wasn’t rare for Taemin to sit beside him but it normally happened when he had to ask Jinki for advice and not the other way around.

“Thanks for the coffee!” Jinki thanked staring at the cup as if he didn’t know what to do with it.

“What’s wrong?” Taemin asked surprising Jinki a little. It was so rare for Taemin to actually ask him about his life. Maybe everyone was a little worried with him and were afraid to ask what was happening.

“Are you really asking me if I have a problem?”

The question made Taemin blink nervously, something Jinki always found adorable.

“Is it weird?”

“I’m always the one asking you what is wrong when no one has the guts to do.”

“Same.” Taemin mumbled and Jinki sipped his coffee. So, everyone sent the maknae to do the hard questions. “We know about Lillie.”

Jinki almost choke on his coffee and he raised his eyes to the others still laughing about Minho’s story. He wondered what they knew without knowing that they actually knew more about his relationship that Jinki actually did.

He was oblivious to the fact that apparently he broke up with her but everyone else knew already thanks to Jules telling Kibum.

Jinki pouted cutely “Lillie doesn’t talk to me anymore. I sent her a message today and she didn’t even answer me. Also I lost the ring…”

Taemin widened his eyes “The ring?”

“The one around my neck.”

Taemin knew about that ring, he has seen it before. “Well due to the circumstances it’s normal that she doesn’t call you anymore.”

Jinki was the one puzzled now wondering what Taemin meant. “Well she said she would give me a time but…”

“Time?” Taemin rubbed his head confused. Kibum told them that Jinki was the one who asked Lillie to leave him alone and now he was telling a complete different story.

“Well…” He decided to forget all that Kibum told them and just tell Jinki his opinion “Do you love her?” Jinki didn’t answer but it was obvious what the answer was “Then break up with your girlfriend. It’s easier to actually do something when you are sure about what you feel.”

“Ahh…well…”He was sure what he felt but everything else was complicated.

Then he noticed Taemin words and the meaning they had. The stare Jinki gave Taemin made him uncomfortable. “Sure about what you feel.” Jinki repeated.

“I slept with Minseo!” Taemin said finally too tired to keep that secret. He only told his friend Kai and it was unbearable to keep it a secret from his hyungs anymore.

“!” Jinki swore which was a rare thing, too shocked with what he heard “Really? Does Minho know?”

“Yes really…I’m sure about what is and no, Minho doesn’t know!”” Taemin answered frustrated “I don’t know why but sparkles flew everywhere once we kissed and it was the best I ever had…not that I have much experience.” He was only with Melody before.

“Yeah you don’t!” Jinki said out of words to say.

Taemin hit Jinki’s thigh “What should I do hyung?”

“D-do?” Jinki barely knew how to put his life together let alone Taemin’s.

“We are not in a relationship. It was a one-time thing but she keps sending me texts saying we need to meet and talk.”

“You should!” Jinki said “You don’t want to date her?”

“Not sure!”

“Just tell her the truth. What you feel right now.”

Clearly Taemin didn’t know what he felt at the moment. He was as lost as his hyung that knew what he felt but didn’t know what to do.

“Maybe you should tell Lillie and Min Hee what you feel too.” Taemin suggested.

Both stared at each other knowing what they needed to do.

Both knowing that they would need a lot of courage to do it.

It was another day of work for Lillie.

It was also one week after Jinki asked her to forget him and she was doing a lousy job at that. She still spent half of her day thinking about him and the other half speaking about him.

She was trying to avoid him but he was such a big part of her life that it was hard to do so.  She grabbed a pile of files and placed it over her desk just in front of the mug with his face so she could at least block his smiling face from her eyes. It was an hard task when she could still replay  in her head how melodious his laughter sounded, how his cheeks were the cutest when he smiled, how sometimes he had cute dimples, how small wrinkles showed up on the sides of his eyes when he smiled, how he made cute sound he hugged her…

Lillie groaned staring at her computer trying to work and stop thinking about him. Her eyes fell on the date on the corner of her laptop.

In two days would be Key’s birthday party and Jules insisted with her to go. Onew and all SHINee would be there and Lillie knew that Min Hee was also invited. They would go as a couple and she was going alone like the idiot she was.

Jules insisted saying that it was Lillie’s opportunity to show them that she wasn’t going to stop living her life because of them. However to Lillie it sounded more like torture than any kind of woman power demonstration.

She would see him and even though it hurt her the idea also made her excruciatingly happy.

The day before Jinki messaged her and she had the same feeling.

Why was he even doing that?! Asking her if she was well when he was the one who asked her to keep away too. He was breaking her heart, sending mixed messages to an already agonized woman in love.

Lillie was doing what she promised Min Hee. She was avoiding him, she turned off the notifs from her chat with him, she was avoiding twitter even though he sent her a message there too, she was even thinking about blocking him or deleting his phone number. But she couldn’t. Not yet. Who can delete or block the man they love that easily?!

Her heart was aching. She couldn’t believe the man she loved and admired for such a long time was such a coward that had to send another woman to do his dirty work. Sometimes that thought would make Lillie blind and for several times already Lillie felt like grabbing her phone and answer to him.

“No I’m not alright you coward!”

She was going to do it that morning when she remembered his smile and worst the way he was there when she opened her eyes on that night when Alex hit her and tried to her.

Jinki was there, he saved her, he risked all he had, all his dreams, his reputation and life for her. He wasn’t a coward. Sometimes he was aloof, scared to commit to things, scared to hurt her but he was never a coward. He even asked for help to the company he worked…he wasn’t that man and yet….Min Hee was the one who met Lillie.

Lillie erased the message quickly but not quick enough hat Dojoon couldn’t see it.

“He was really a coward!” he said from behind her and Lillie jumped on her chair before turning to him.

“You scared me!”

“I know” He leaned against her desk crossing his arms “Can you tell me why you are in deep thought instead of working? I just arrived thinking that I would be received with a smile and yet my secretary is writing texts to her ex she doesn’t intend to send.”

“Jinki isn’t a coward.” Lillie said ignoring Dojoon. Somehow she never took him serious and he wasn’t surprised anymore.

“He used his current girlfriend to break up with you.” Dojoon said staring at the sleeve of his coat and brushing a small particle of dust from it.

“I shouldn’t have told you.” Lillie comment made Dojoon chuckle. “He isn’t a coward though. He can’t be…The man I love isn’t a coward.”

“Why?” Dojoon asked amused. “Because he is the perfect man? He might be in your eyes but…”

“No.” Lillie interrupted him “Because he almost sacrificed all he had, his career to save my life.”

That wasn’t the first time she mentioned it and Dojoon uncrossed his arms. That was what he always wanted to know, why she kept saying that he saved her. Jinho his cousin never told Dojoon the reason even though he knew and that made him even more curious. If his cousin acknowledged the fact that indeed Lee Jinki saved Lillie than he truly did. What was she hiding?!

 Dojoon sat on the chair in front of her desk, his curious eyes on her. She knew that expression, it was the same one he had when a client came to give him a new project, when it was something he truly wanted to do.

“How did he save you? From what?” He asked. He would never let that go and Lillie knew him well by now to know it. “Tell me please.”

“Why are you so interested in my love life?”

“Because I like you.”

His answer made Lillie blush and he quickly modified it “No. Not in a romantic way.” He chuckled “I really like you as a friend. Also you are my girlfriend.”

That comment made Lillie frown. She still hated the idea.

“Pretend girlfriend and not because I want.” She corrected.

“Ok. Then lets make a deal. You tell me about you and your ex and I’ll tell you about me and my ex.”

Lillie didn’t seem impressed “I can search for womanizer on naver and I’m sure I’ll find all I need to know about you, so no need!”

Dojoon laughed heartedly “No I mean about my first love.”

“YOU HAD A FIRST LOVE? You said you never had a girlfriend!” Lillie accused.

“I didn’t! We didn’t date!”

“You said you never have been in love before too.”

“Aigo. Do you want to know or not? Deal?” Dojoon raised his hand for Lillie to shake and she suspiciously did.

She didn’t have anything to lose by telling him about what happened. It wasn’t as if he worked for dispatch and he already knew too much anyway. Besides by saying it out loud, by remembering what Jinki did for her she was sure that she would clean his reputation inside his heart again.

“It will take a while if I explain all to you so I’ll try to tell you the most important facts.”

“We have time. It’s not like the boss will come in here and fire us!” he grinned like an idiot and Lillie ignored him, playing with a small paper clip.

She was nervous about what she had to say and Dojoon smiled disappeared from his face. Whatever it was, it was painful for her to remember.

“I had a boyfriend before I came to South Korea. Actually he was the reason I came.”

“He was Korean?” Dojoon asked tilting his head.

“Can you let me finish without making questions please or I won’t be able to tell you.”

“Ok. I’m sorry!” Lillie took a deep breath and then tried to tell her story, her eyes barely raisin to meet Dojoon’s.

“I had a boyfriend. His name is Alex. He was really sweet to me at first until we started dating and then things changed. He became a little more rough and aggressive and jealous. He started to hit me too.” Dojoon didn’t say anything, respecting Lillie and she didn’t dare to look at him to see his reaction anyway “He did everything he could to make me fear breaking up with him and he completely ruined my self-esteem. He did anything he could to make me his prisoner. He often called me frigid because I didn’t want to be with him in a more physical way. Then one day he tried to me. He didn’t manage to and the next day I ran away. That’s how I end up here, very far away from him.”

She finally managed to catch her breath and glanced at the man in front of her. Dojoon was watching her with a blank expression, motionless.

“I don’t know what to say….”

“It’s not over yet.” She felt braver now and faced him while she talked “After I started dating Jinki he came back. He started following me and I didn’t tell Jinki because I was afraid. He threatened me, he said he would ruin Jinki’s career if I didn’t go back to him.”

“And you went back to him?” Dojoon asked , his hands grasping the chair.

“No. But I met him. I wanted to kill him but I didn’t have the guts to do so.” Lillie teared up remembering that night “I wanted to end it all so I could protect Jinki, because I knew I could never get back together with Alex and I could never let Jinki know about him. But Alex beat me up and he almost me but Jinki…he found out and he showed up…and he saved me. He protect me by hitting Alex and then he found a way to make Alex leave me alone. His lawyers made him sign a document. It’s complicated but now Alex needs to keep away from me. Jinki saved me. Once again he saved me!”

“Wow.”

“He isn’t a coward! He could have lost everything that night.” Lillie added.

“He does sound amazing after knowing that.” Dojoon said.

“He is!”

“However, any man in love would do that you know?! That only proves that he truly loves you.”

“Or loved!” Lillie said sadly cleaning the corners of her eyes with her fingers carefully to not ruin her makeup.

“Also I’m sorry about the ual comments I made about you and Onew…” he was a little embarrassed about it now, knowing that she went through those moments.

“No. I’m not really frigid…not with Jinki though..” She blushed deeply now that she was discussing her life and Dojoon cleared his throat changing subjects again. He didn’t need to know about her in bed, yes she was y and sometimes he would look at her in improper ways but he really didn’t need to know what she did in bed with her ex.

“I know you are not…I mean….aaah No wonder you love him so much. I’m sorry. That Alex is a bastard. I’m glad you managed to break free from him.”

“Thank you!” She said watching Dojoon standing up from his chair and turning to leave to his office.

“Wait!” Lillie exclaimed. “Where are you going?”

Dojoon stopped. He was hoping she would forget his side of the deal. Not because he didn’t want to tell her but because after what she told him he needed to think. He never imagined it would be something like that, he never imagined that the idol actually saved her. He was feeling a mix of admiration, indignation and sadness. He admired her for surviving all that, he admired her ex for saving her, he wanted to kill the man who hurt her and at the same time he was sad that Lillie wasn’t with the man who saved her anymore.

Dojoon was very confused and he needed some time away from Lillie.

“I need to work!” Dojoon answered pointing at his office.

“No you promised.”

He smiled forcefully before speaking “I met a girl in high school. I had a crush on her and she started dating my friend. That’s it.”

“NO! That can’t be the whole story!” Lillie protested standing up from her chair and following Dojoon inside his office. “Were you heartbroken?”

“No!” He answered ignoring her as if she was a fly.

“You must still love her.” Lillie tried again.

“No!” He grabbed one of the small houses he built the day before to place on his last model.

“Maybe that can explain why you can’t have a normal healthy relationship with anyone. Maybe you developed a trauma.”

Lillie conclusion made Dojoon laugh so much that be almost ruined the little house he made.

“No Lillie.” He placed the house in the model carefully testing the place where he would place it “I don’t think I’ve ever liked someone enough to be heartbroken like you. Don’t try to analyze me. There is nothing to analyze and furthermore you don’t have a degree in psychology.”

Lillie leaned on the table watching his expression and pouting slightly. There needed to be something wrong with Dojoon for him to not have any serious relationship.  “I wanted to know more about you. I told you something really important about me and my past.”

Dojoon grabbed the small bottle of glue and placed a little bit under the house gluing it to the model. “I’m really honored that you shared your past with me but really there isn’t anything I can tell you in return. I have no secrets. No one ever saved me either.”

“Oh I’m glad you are here too!” A feminine voice said from the door and both looked at it. Dojoon’s mother was on it and seemed delighted to meet Lillie there.

Lillie found it weird at first since of course she would be there, she was his secretary, but then she realized that his mother didn’t know about it, she thought she was his girlfriend instead.

“You really need to find a secretary. I thought you had one already since a young lady used to answer the phone.”

Lillie stepped back realizing she was the young lady too.

Dojoon nervously placed the bottle of glue on his desk and hugged his mother sending urgent signs to Lillie.

“Why is your girlfriend here during work time?” His mother asked suddenly turning to Lillie that was trying to run away from the room.

“Why am I even here...” Lillie said with broken Korean amusing Dojoon’s mother.

“She is so adorable!” The older woman turned to Dojoon delighted, and then lowered her voice “No during work time.” That made Lillie crash against the door of the office and Dojoon chuckled noticing it.

“Mother please, she understands everything you say.”

Dojoon’s mother seemed surprise “She does? Isn’t she foreigner?!”

“I need to go…” Lillie said suddenly trying to leave again but Dojoon’s mother didn’t let her calling her to stay.

“No please stay a little longer. My son is an idiot because he doesn’t know how to behave in front of ladies. He is used to go out with silly brainless women not pretty flowers like you.”

Lillie let herself be pulled to the middle of the room again and stood there smiling like an idiot and praying that Dojoon’s mother  caring opinions about her wouldn’t change into hate later when she found out the truth.

“You have no idea how happy I am that he found you. All my friends’ sons are married already and they question me about my son.”

“Mother…” Dojoon tried to interrupt her but she completely ignored him.

“He was always a weirdo since he was little and now everyone thinks that there is something wrong with him.”

Lillie peeked at her boss at the way he stared at his desk clearly wanting to disappear from that room. His mother was really complicated and controlling. For someone like him that was probably a curse….or maybe, maybe he was like that because she controlled him all is life. Maybe that was his secret.

“We should all go have lunch together!” the older woman suggested.

“No. Lillie can’t go!” He said immediately surprising Lillie.

Wasn’t he eager to use her as his girlfriend?! Yet he tried to save her from that.

“I can.” Lillie said suddenly wondering what she was doing. Maybe that was a way for her to thank him for what he has done for her lately.

“Good!” Dojoon mother said happily “I’ll wait downstairs in the car. This way you can finish whatever you were doing. Be quick!”

The mischievously smile the woman sent to both didn’t escape Lillie and she frowned. No wonder her son was a ert. He probably inherit that trait from her.

“Are you sure about this?” Dojoon asked once they were alone.

“It’s ok. As long as you tell her the truth soon. It’s not like I have anyone right now anyway.” She sounded bitter “Also I’m thankful for what you have done for me lately. “ He was a true friend ever since that happened with Jinki. “I’m going to grab my things. I’m not very ladylike so maybe your mom will hate me and I can jump out of this misunderstanding.” She grinned before leaving his office and Dojoon sat on his desk thinking about what she said, all he learned about Lillie that morning.

He didn’t have feelings for her but she was sweet and beautiful. He liked her.

She was stronger than she seemed too and there was so much about her that didn’t meet the eye. Lillie seemed innocent and fragile but she wasn’t at all. If she wanted she could do anything.

Maybe dating her wasn’t a bad idea, even if it was fake. Surprisingly doing it with her didn’t scare him as much as it did with other women he met before.  

However no one would ever beat Lee Jinki in her heart. Not after what she told him about him.

Not that he ever wanted to beat him.

The day of Kibum’s and Jules’s party came out sooner than expected. 

While Jules walked around the apartment with Kibum taking care of making the guests comfortable, Minho and a friend of Kibum were having an healthy arm wrestling fight under Jonghyun’s and Taemin’s supervision.

However not everyone was having fun.

Jinki wasn’t at all even though he had a fake smile plastered don his face once in a while, every time Kibum passed by him. He didn’t want to make his friend sad but that didn’t seem to work either because Kibum was already sending him some glares.

The truth was that Kibum’s party was actually very enjoyable. He had good food and snacks, enough alcohol for everyone and he even had a freaking karaoke machine that was used once in a while. Kibum organized some games and most people at that party where also Jinki acquaintances . However there was someone missing at that party and there was also someone that shouldn’t be there at all.

Lillie didn’t arrive yet and Min Hee was there too, beside him like his shadow, doing small talk with him. He didn’t invite her, Kibum didn’t invite her leaving that honor for Jinki but she found out about the party from one of SHINee’s managers,  that was actually at the party too.

He felt awful for wanting to be away from her but it was the reality. They weren’t doing well, he was in love with someone else and lately he only fought with Min Hee.

Even the fact that she was so sweet to him before, stalking him during his schedules and asking the manager about him, now felt as if he was a prisoner. He hated it. He hated to be controlled.

Jinki didn’t want a shadow, he wanted a girlfriend and right now Min Hee wasn’t much more than a shadow. He couldn’t even go to the kitchen to grab another bottle of beer without her following him. He tried going to pee and she had to ask him where he was going. Ok, he knew that he was the one who made her uneasy and insecure but still…that wasn’t the Min Hee he liked and admired before.

The party became a lot better once someone rang the bell and Jules opened the door to a brunette woman, wearing her hair on a bun and a simple black dress with ballerina shoes.

Lillie.

Jinki immediately stepped forward, staying in the middle of the room so he could see her, his face illuminating. She looked beautiful and yet very simple, just like he liked.

He didn’t even care about Min Hee that wat watching him and probably followed after him. Lillie was all that mattered.

He missed her. It was only one week without speaking to her and yet he missed her terrible. It was weird since he spent months away from her before.

However his smile died soon when he saw someone enter the apartment after her. It was a man, wearing a simple black shirt and jeans. Jules frowned seeing him and Jinki realized that he probably knew who he was already.

Dojoon.

Lillie’s boss and apparently something more.

She described him as a player and he probably was since he helped Lillie take her coat as if he was used to do it all the time, his hand gently caressing her shoulder while he did it.

Jinki blood was burning. That man was touching her and in a very familiar way and she didn’t even seem to notice. They were like that before. She was used to Jinki’s touch before.

Jinki didn’t notice how Jules seemed to be scolding Lillie but he saw when Lillie looked on his direction her gaze falling on him for longer than it was expected.

He swallowed nervously wondering if he should go to greet her but she quickly looked away because Dojoon was whispering something to her.

He felt his world crashing down with jealousy; while he watched Lillie and Dojoon follow Jules away from his gaze and into the kitchen.

Jinkis stood there motionless, his heart a mess in the middle of the living room, completely ignoring the noise or the fact that he was blocking the karaoke machine for some guests.

He didn’t even acknowledged Min Hee that was watching him.

“So Lillie has a boyfriend now!” She mumbled to Jinki regretting it immediately because he looked at her, with a very scary expression. He didn’t seem happy at all.

Min Hee stepped back letting him pass and Jinki left the living room and walked to balcony instead where Jonghyun was speaking on the phone and was the quietest place of the house at the moment.

Lillie grasped the table of the kitchen trying to follow the conversation in front of her. Kibum was telling Dojoon a funny story about how he found out Jules real name and she was sulking by their side wondering why they were being so friendly.

However Lillie didn’t care about it at all, not when she just saw Jinki and worse noticed the way he looked at her, his fierce eyes and strong expression.

He didn’t seem happy to see her, not at all and she wondered if she did right coming to the party after all. Dojoon offered to accompany her , saying that he would go as her friend to pay for what she did with him, going to that boring lunch with her mother, and also adding that he was going to find out if Lee Jinki still had feelings for her. She didn’t know how he intended to do the last part but he didn’t seem worried with it.  She also didn’t understand why he insisted with her that he truly loved her even after all she told him about Jinki. The last two days ever since she told him about Alex, Dojoon made her all kind of questions about Jinki and her relationship with him. How they met, what they used to do together, what where their plans for the future... It was ridiculous and she was starting to get annoyed with his interested. When she asked him why he was making all those questions he told her he felt like he was reading a good novel and wanted to know the ending. That he wanted it to be a happy ending.

Jules scolded Lillie though. She didn’t like Dojoon because he would hit on both of them. But Lillie was glad she brought him with her. Min Hee looked beautiful and she would feel like an ugly duckling and an idiot alone at that party. She was an introvert after all and she didn’t know how to walk around the other stars and Kibum’s friends that looked too fashionable and amazing for her.

“You look beautiful don’t stress!” Dojoon said suddenly and Lillie realized that Kibum and Jules were now busy speaking with someone else.

“I don’t want to look beautiful.”

“You do for him.” Dojoon said grabbing a glass of champagne “I like this Kibum guy.” He said staring at the bubbles.

“Min Hee is really beautiful.” Lillie added remembering how she was beside Jinki wearing a simple blue dress that still made hers look like a rag. Jinki looked beautiful too, with a red shirt and black pants. He always looked like a prince even when he didn’t try, at least for her.

“Well I’m not going to lie to you. She is really hot.” Lillie frowned wondering why she was even searching for some courage talking with that man “However I had my eyes on Lee Jinki the whole time, and I swear I’m not gay, and I tell you that the way he looked at you, how he smiled once he saw you…hum….You look way more beautiful than her for him, because you are the one he wants!”

Lillie blinked her eyes suddenly feeling hot “He smiled when he saw me? Really?” She could only see his angry expression when she looked at him.

“Yes and he was absolutely jealous of me! I must be careful because he might try to kill me tonight! Must not walk around the apartment alone!”

Lillie bit her lower lip wondering why she was believing that man that spent most of the time making fun of her. Clearly Dojoon was making all that up. “Well, that is really sweet for a drama but he didn’t choose me. He is in this party with Min Hee after all.”

“Well, if that smile isn’t a sign of love then I don’t know what it.”

“Exactly you don’t! Jinki smiles all the time. He is like freaking Mr. Sunshine!” Lillie said grabbing a glass of champagne too and trying it. The last time she had champagne was during the Christmas date she had with Jinki and the taste almost made her cry. It made her remember how his kisses tasted like champagne while he kissed her that night, how his wet lips kissed her neck, how they slowly made love.

She quickly placed the glass over the counter again.

“You don’t like the champagne?” Dojoon asked. “It seems expensive. Kibum has good taste.”

“I think I’ll drink beer or soju instead.” She was good at it now.

“Really? A party like this and you drink soju?”

“It’s a casual party!” Lillie said grabbing a bottle of beer.

Dojoon laughed with her answer and followed after her to the living room.

He couldn’t wait to play the jealousy game and contribute for the happy ending.

The karaoke machine wasn’t stopping that night and Minho was the MC, presenting the wannabe singers and the most experienced ones.

It was time for Jules and Kibum to sing a duet, which for whatever reason was making Kibum apprehensive.

Lillie knew the reason but apparently she was the only one in that party who did. Jules was an awful singer and that would be a one in a lifetime experience that the guests would hardly forget.

“An applause for Kibum and Jules…”

“Juliette!” Kibum corrected making Jules hide her face against his arm.

“Juliette!” Minho corrected confused “They are going to sing Juliette….”

“Not that one!” Jules complained and she and Kibum started a small argument about it.

“I’m not going to stay and listen to this.” Jonghyun said stepping away from beside Lillie that smiled at him wondering if he already knew about Jules lack of singing talented. He probably did because he left the room.

The song started and of course Kibum was singing it well, it was his song after all. Jules wasn’t but at least she was amusing everyone.

Lillie looked around her wondering where Dojoon was until she saw him speaking with a very pretty girl, probably trying to get her number which made Lillie smile until she felt someone’s gaze on her.

Jinki.

He was closer to her this time, sitting a few chairs across from her, his gaze stuck on her.

Lillie wasn’t sure why he seemed to be so interested in her when he was the one who pushed her away and that was confusing her. More over Min Hee was beside him, leaning her head against his shoulder.

Jinki seemed troubled with that and Lillie looked away completely missing his reaction. He couldn’t push Min Hee away so instead he slowly leaned to the side so it would be weird for her to lean her head against him. That action seemed to trouble her and Jinki feigned ignorance as if that weird positon was comfortable when it wasn’t at all.

Min Hee stood up from the chair beside him upset and Jinki straightened his body feeling a little pathetic now. Yet he couldn’t stop looking at Lillie wondering why she was cutting him out of her life without a word. What did he do wrong?! Her boyfriend was flirting around the party barely paying attention to her and yet she was mad with him?!

She wasn’t even looking at him anymore; instead she moved her hand on her thigs making him almost combust with the image. He wanted to be the one touching her.

And she played with the place on her finger where her couple ring was before. She used to do that when she was nervous…wait!

She didn’t have the couple ring anymore and that made Jinki stood up from the chair in shock.

He panicked realizing he was the only one standing in front of the performance but luckily the song ended and everyone was clapping probably relieved that Jules wasn’t going to sing anymore.

Lillie gave up on him without even giving him a chance to say what he decided to do and that made him so furious. It was hard to hide it and she was now looking at him with a mixed expression as if she didn’t understand why he was reacting like that too.

He passed by her upset and entered the kitchen where luckily no one was. Jinki needed to be alone and that house was too small for that. Maybe he should go home.

“What is your problem?” Lillie’s voice coming from the door of the kitchen made him look back. She was there nervously moving her hands in front of her, as if she wasn’t sure she was doing the right thing, a few strands of her hair falling perfectly around her face and the only thing Jinki wanted to do was to push her against a wall and kiss her.

So he did it.

He stepped to her as if the world was ending making Lillie stumble back and closed the door of the kitchen before he grabbed her by her shoulders and pushed her against it, his body and face so close to hers that Lillie didn’t even  dare to breathe.

He couldn’t either, all the passion he felt inside him exploding.

His nose bumped against hers and she widened her eyes placing one hand on his chest as if that would prevent him from kissing her if he wanted. She also wanted him to kiss her anyway.

“What is my problem?” Jinki repeated her question his eyes on hers and moving down to her lips that looked so tasty with red lipstick that he wasn’t sure if he wanted to kiss or bite them; and then to the cleavage of her dress that let him see the white skin of her collarbones.

“What are you doing?” Lillie asked motionless staring at him “You told me to keep away from you!”

He frowned with her words wondering what she meant. How could he even ask her something like that when he wanted to hold her and never let go.

“Keep away from me?! No…I…”

“You are being really selfish you know?!” She added looking at his chest instead as if she was checking the pattern of his shirt.  “You push me away and break my heart and hopes and then you look at me in a way as if you want to….pounce on me.”

He truly wanted to pounce on her. She wasn’t wrong but…

“Why am I selfish when you are the one who doesn’t answer any of my messages anymore?” She did gave him a time to do it but he barely had a few days and she was now cutting all ties with him again, just like she did when she broke up with him without giving him a chance to say what he wanted.

“What? Of course I am. You asked me too!”

He tilted his head, his eyes falling on her pouty lips again making him lose control. “No I didn’t.”

Lillie looked away from him wondering what he truly wanted for her, why was he playing that game with her?!

“You are dating another man now. It’s your boss right? He spent the whole party flirting with other women. He doesn’t treat you right Lillie, he isn’t good for you. You deserve so much more!” Jinki took a deep breath. “And you didn’t even give me time to…”

“YOU ARE DATING ANOTHER WOMAN TOO!” She accused pushing his chest with her hand not even correcting what he said because in reality she was dating no one.

“Yes because you broke up with me! You left me heartbrokend…”

“I thought we were over discussing that now! I explained to you my reasons and I said I regret it already!””

“Yes but that was before you made me upset by bringing him here.”

“Why? Because only you can take your girlfriend out for a party?”

Jinki groaned upset. Couldn’t she see how much she was making him jealous?! He was almost never jealous and yet now he was burning with jealousy and it was making him insane.

He punched the wall beside her slightly making Lillie stare at him as if he went insane and then leaned his head against her shoulder making her freeze because she could feel his hot breath on her skin. His hand that wasn’t on the wall moved to her arm, his fingers slowly caressing her skin making her heart skip a beat. How could he make her so aroused with only that?!

“Can’t you see what you are doing to me?!” He mumbled as if she wasn’t thinking the same, breathing her scent, his lips brushing against her neck like he did so many times before. But this time was different, he was thirsty as he never been, he needed her. Jinki kissed her neck slightly making Lillie close her eyes. He kissed her skin again, this time more passionately, tasting her skin with his tongue on the place she loved the most and he knew, and moving his lips on her neck closer to her chin. She knew that soon he would reach her lips and she wouldn’t be able to stop him. Lillie grasped his shoulder a soft moan leaving her parted lips. It was such a long time ever since she felt that.

Her moan was enough to make Jinki realize what he was doing. They were both dating someone else and they weren’t that kind of people. He stepped back letting her get free and Lillie stared at him, out of breath as if he just stole it. She stole his too because he was just like her, panting.

They didn’t even kiss and yet they looked like they just had a very hot and steamy session. Sadly none of them was satiated from it, on contraire they longed for each other even more.

“I’m sorry.” He mumbled running his fingers on his temple “I shouldn’t have kissed you like this but…I really don’t understand why you couldn’t wait for my decision.”

Lillie moved her hands on her dress as if she wanted to check that he didn’t stole any part of her with those two sweet passionate kisses he placed on her neck.

“But you did. You made your decision.” She stepped off from the door because someone was trying to open it and both Jinki and Lillie blushed when one of the guests entered the kitchen. Jinki greeted him politely and Lillie did too. “You said you wanted me to stop contacting you and to move one and that’s what I’m trying to do. I don’t understand why you did it in such a cowardly way but it’s your decision and I’ll respect it.” She said almost in a whisper now shy that someone was listening to their conversion and then walked away.

Jinki stood there wondering what she meant. He didn’t say anything of that.

The last thing he wanted was for her to forget him.

Lillie was tipsy. Of course she was and Dojoon didn’t stop her at all, watching her drink amused. That was even better because he could act like the worried boyfriend in front of the idol and make him burn in jealousy. So instead Dojoon spent his time checkingother women out and watching the arm-wrestling championship happening in the middle of the room.

Kibum’s friend pushed one of the tables to the middle and every man and even some women were trying their luck. Minho was the official MC, he was good at it, and right now Taemin and Jonghyun were competing. Both were terrible even and Taemin end up winning which embarrassed Jonghyun hat ended up saying he let his “son” win.

That seemed to make everyone in the room laugh but Dojoon had no idea why that was funny. Lillie did apparently, because she laughed so much she cried before she went to grab another bottle of beer.

Did he stop her? No.

Not yet. He simply caressed her back slowly, his eyes on the man on the other side of the room sulking on the couch, her prince.

It was working. Lee Jinki was still in love with Lillie and that was clear as day.

Then why in the world did he push her away?!

Dojoon couldn’t understand at all.

“Anyone else wants do try?” Minho asked being the current champion “Kibum?”

Key completely hid behind a pillow of his couch just next to Jinki that seemed to be in a daze.

“Jinki hyung? Yes you are strong hyung!”

Some people started encouraging Jinki and he suddenly realized everyone wanted him to compete.

“Ah no…it’s ok!” Jinki dismissed it quickly. He was never eager to be the center of attention and that day he wasn’t in the mood.

“I’ll do it!” Dojoon said immediately ing the sleeves of his shirt and pulling them upwards before he sat on one of the chair next to the table. “I was a champion in high school!”

Lillie came out from the kitchen at that time with another bottle and then noticed Dojoon sitting at the table, ready to compete.

“I’m competing sweetheart!” Dojoon announced as loudly as he managed offering one of his eye smiles that were so similar to Jinki to her and Lillie couldn’t help it but glance at Jinki.

Dojoon cockiness and Lillie’s gaze on him made Jinki stand up before he even realized what he was doing and sat in front of Dojoon.

“Oh !” Jules said maybe a little too loud but no one besides SHINee and her knew what that meant.

Lillie stared at both, frozen, realizing what that meant. Her supposedly fake boyfriend and her ex were in for a fight.

Both men were ignoring her now, staring at each other ignoring to the fact that Lillie was watching them and just in front of her on the other side of the table was Min Hee doing the same.

Dojoon knew that none of the girls were cheering for him but he didn’t mind. He smiled cockily, he always loved challenges and Jinki looked like a worthy opponent. He was Lillie’s champion after all.  Dojoon’s smile clearly touched a nerve inside Jinki, maybe because it was similar to his and probably because Lillie mentioned that fact before.

“I’m Dojoon by the way. It’s nice to meet you. I’ve heard so much about you from Lillie.”

The mention of her name made Jinki’s clench his jaw and he did the same as Dojoon, ing the sleeves of his shirt and pulling them upwards before he placed his arm on the table.

“She barely mentioned you.” Jinki said with a low dangerous voice and Dojoon followed his lead placing his elbow on the table too and grabbing Jinki’s hand.

They held each other hand firmly so firmly that Dojoon was sure Jinki was making an effort not to be too aggressive with him and crush his bones.

“Should we start then?” Minho asked eyeing both men a little nervous. “Kibum do you want to MC from now on?”

“No. Just start it!” Kibum said quickly standing up from the couch just in case things would get ugly and he had to separate the two.

Minho counted to three and the game started. It wasn’t as hard as Dojoon thought but he knew he would lose anyway. Jinki was surprisingly strong even though he was used to see him act cute on tv. He had strong muscles and worse he wanted to beat him up for touching the woman he loved. It didn’t take him long for Jinki to beat him, pushing his hand until it hit the table. His face didn’t even twist with the strength he was using but Dojoon could see a small droplet of sweat on his temple.

That game was important for Jinki’s pride. He wanted to beat him in front of Lillie and he was doing his best.

“Wow!” Dojoon rubbed his hand “You are really strong!” he offered his hand for Jinki to shake and he did firmly.

Then as if both of them agreed on it they looked at Lillie as if expecting her to also congratulate Jinki.

She looked from one man to the other and then turned around running as fast as she could in the direction of the bathroom.

Luckily everyone mistook her reaction as if she was sick with the alcohol.

“Excuse me. I think Lillie is sick!”

Dojoon escaped after her amused with what just happened and grabbed her by her arm just when she reached the door of the bathroom that was closed since someone was probably using it.

“What are you doing? Did you see that? Did you see how he wanted to kill me?”

“What are you doing?” She asked as if she was in pain.

“Making him terribly jealous!”

“I didn’t bring you to do this. And he can’t be jealous…”

He did attack her on the kitchen before, he did kiss her.

“I’m so confused right now! I think I want to go home!” She remarked.

Dojoon sighed “Stay longer and trust me. He might have come with another woman to this party but he was barely with her. Besides he is so damn jealous of me that it’s amusing!”

Lillie leaned against the wall clearly tipsy and Dojoon grabbed her by her shoulder “Lillie, listen to me. He likes you. I’m going to help you and him.”

The door of the bathroom opened and one of Key’s friends came out from it.

“Whatever you are doing just stop! It’s over between me and him I promised his girlfriend!” Lillie said before she stumbled inside the bathroom “I need to pee!”

Dojoon tried to speak again but Lillie closed the door on his face.

He also couldn’t understand her at all.

Maybe Jinki and Lillie were really meant for each other.

Minho and Jonghyun finished the ballad they were singing and the party was almost over now that half of Kibum’s guests went home or were too drunk to care about anything around them.

Kibum was drunk too and he even decided to let Comme Des and Garçon to join the party. Jules wasn’t though, keeping an eye on everything, especially Lillie that was sitting on the couch beside the balcony playing with one strap of her dress.

Dojoon was doing an awful job taking care of her like he was supposed to as his fake boyfriend and instead was on his phone.

Jules was exhausted but the happy smile on Kibum’s face was everything she needed to keep going.

“And this was the last song!” Jules said suddenly grabbing the microphone from Minho’s hand, wanting to end the party before Lillie or even Kibum did anything embarrassing.

“I want to sing a song!” Lillie announced standing up from the couch and grabbing the microphone from Jules.

“You are drunk Lillie!” Jules said trying to snatch it away, but Lillie stubbornly hold into it and stumbled against Minho that steadied her.

“Can you help me choose a song?” She asked with a cute voice making Minho blush and he nodded his head.

“No! Lillie no!” Jules tried to reason with her but she completely ignored her.

“I want an old song...” Lillie grabbed the list with all songs to choose one and then tilted her head cutely “number 46!”

Minho prepared the machine for her and Lillie cleared eying the room.

Almost no one was paying attention to her. Dojoon was though turning the call off , Kibum was too and the other SHINee members. More importantly Jinki was with Min Hee not far away from him.

Lillie didn’t mind that his girlfriend was listening and watching her sing, there was no crime to sing a song thinking about someone.

However Jules was looking at her as if she was committing a crime, as if she predicting the outcome of that.

The beginning accords of Nothing gonna stop us now started to play and Lillie focused her eyes on Jinki before she started singing the song.

“Not that embarrassing song no...” Jules complained realizing that Lillie was going to sing one of her favorite karaoke songs and also one of the most romantic and lame ones. Worse she was singing it to her ex-boyfriend in front of his girlfriend.

Looking in your eyes I see a paradise

This world that I've found

Is too good to be true

Standing here beside you

Want so much to give you

This love in my heart that I'm feeling for you

She was doing a lousy job at singing it and Jinki didn’t even know the song but he could read the lyrics on the screen and he knew enough English to understand that last part.

Lillie was embarrassing herself but she wasn’t satisfied yet and grabbed the other microphone from Jonghyun hand before she walked in Jinki’s direction to give it to him.

The song was supposed to be a duet and she wanted him to sing with her.

It was funny how kararoke room played an important part on their relationship. They started dating inside one; Jinki saved her in one too. But they never actually had a date in one. That was the first time Jinki saw Lillie sang for him an English song and it amused him, more than embarrassed.

Jinki gaze was on hers and she could see in his expression the same intensity from when he kissed her in the kitchen. He was going to sing with her for sure even if it was an English song he never heard.

Let 'em say we're crazy, I don't care about that

Lillie sang making him smile with her cuteness and she almost reached him to give him the microphone when Dojoon showed up placing a hand on her waist and turning her around grabbing the microphone from her hand and pulling her away from Jinki again.

Lillie let herself be guided by him while the song kept playing, now Dojoon singing with her.

She couldn’t see Jinki anymore but if she could she would see how he wasn’t happy with that turn of events.

Put your hand in my hand baby

Don't ever look back

Let the world around us just fall apart

Baby we can make it if we're heart to heart

The new duo kept singing, mostly Dojoon since Lillie was having a hard time following the lyrics not only because she was drunk but also because she was still eying Jinki while she sang.

I'm so glad I found you

I'm not gonna lose you

Whatever it takes I will stay here with you

Take it to the good times

See it through the bad times

Whatever it takes is what I'm gonna do

Jinki needed to check that song translation to Korean to fully understand what she was singing to him but most of it he could understand and it was hurting him deeply inside because he could sing the same to her.

Ooh, all that I need is you

All that I ever need

And all that I want to do

Is hold you forever, ever and ever

Jinki grabbed a plastic trash bag and started picking up the empty bottles from all over Kibum’s furniture of his living room.

“I’ll collect the ones at the balcony and take the trash out!” Minho said.

The two of them stayed behind to help clean since Kibum was already unconscious and Jules with Jonghyun help, laid him down on his bed. She was cleaning the kitchen now and the two of them were helping with the rest of the house.

Jinki was left alone on the living room and he leisurely did the task, his mind elsewhere. Lillie and her boyfriend didn’t leave yet and were on the kitchen with Jules.  That was also one of the reasons Jinki stayed behind.

“Do you need help?!” Min Hee asked and Jinki hummed before nodding his head.

He felt awful. He completely forgot about her and she was probably hoping that he would take her home.

“How did you come to the party?” Jinki asked when Min Hee started helping him push the bottles inside the bag.

“My Manager left me here.”

“I can take you home then!” it was the best thing to do after the way he neglected her that night. “I need to talk with you.”

He had enough of forcing his feelings and she didn’t deserve that at all.

Min Hee clearly knew what he wanted to talk about and she didn’t seem to like it at all.

“Can’t we leave this conversation for another day?”

“Lately we barely speak with each other and after what happened today I don’t think we can delay this conversation anymore.”

She pouted slightly as if she was going to cry and Jinki felt terrible towards her. “I’m really sorry. I never thought things would come to this.” He never thought Lillie would come back or that his feelings wouldn’t change.

“We can talk after we leave.” Jinki said gently not wanting to break Min Hee’s heart at Kibum’s place and with Lillie in the room next door.

He turned around biting his lower lip nervously and opened the bag again to grab a few more bottles near the couch.

Min Hee watched him for a while, resenting him about what happened on the last hours but above all hating Lillie with all her guts. All that happened was her fault. The way Jinki ignored her, the way he kept looking at her throughout the night, how he even did that stupid arm wrestling challenge for her and how satisfied he was when he won and of course…the karaoke where he smiled like an idiot in love.

Min Hee pursed her lips thinking about telling Jinki that she didn’t need a ride after all. Maybe it was better to avoid that talk, at least on that night that he seemed too resolved about it.

However Lillie entered the room at that moment and froze when she saw them together. That made Min Hee realize that she still had an advantage over Lillie. She was Jinki’s girlfriend for now and she could touch him when she wanted and Lillie couldn’t.

Maybe Lillie could taste a little of the humiliation Min Hee felt.

Lillie stepped back, her eyes moving from Jinki back, that didn’t notice her presence yet, to Min Hee but she wasn’t quick enough to run away because Min Hee back hugged Jinki cutely in front of her.

“Jinki…” Min Hee called fondly making him turn around confused with that change in her attitude.

He didn’t have the chance to notice Lillie because Min Hee kissed him. Jinki didn’t react surprised, grabbing Min Hee’s shoulder and wondering why she was kissing him like that, ignoring that Min Hee managed to do what she wanted.

Lillie turned around and bumped against Dojoon that followed after her, both going to leave since he was taking her home.

She was still a little drowsy because of the alcohol even though Jules gave her coffee to drink.

Lillie hid her face from him and Dojoon smiled thinking that she was drunk until he saw her expression and teary eyes.

“What is….” She covered his mouth making him widen his eyes and then pushed him forward slightly so he could see with his own eyes.

Min Hee wasn’t kissing Jinki anymore but she was still hugging him as if she wasn’t to ever let go of him.

He was patting her back awkwardly more like a friend than a lover and Dojoon frowned.

What was that idiot doing?

He turned to Lillie again and his lips suddenly having an idea. He could play that game too.

“Do you really love him?” he whispered to Lillie that was having a hard time containing her tears.

“What are you talking about?” Lillie whispered back.

“Just answer me! Are you willing to do anything for him?”

“Yes!” Of course she was.

“Trust me then and follow my lead!” Dojoon said pulling Lillie by her arm into the middle of the hallway so Jinki and Min Hee could see them.

Lillie resisted but she was still tipsy and he pulled her easily.

“Come on sweetheart I’ll take you home!” Dojoon said out loud making Lillie panic because by now the couple on the living room noticed them already.

What was he doing?!

“Dojoon…” Lillie warned him, her eyes darting to Jinki that pushed Min Hee away watching the scene.

“Aigo…don’t be like that…” Dojoon remarked pulling Lillie to him making her bump against his body, his arms possessively moving around her waist.

Lillie froze, her body tensing up just when Dojoon kissed her.

It was a quick kiss but it was surely enough for Jinki to see and for Lillie to have almost a heart attack.

She pushed away from the kiss and both she and Dojoon barely had time to see Jinki storming out the door outside. Min Hee followed after him, grabbing her shoes on the way out.

“Oh he didn’t punch me! I was sure he would!” Dojoon commented amused “He did look pissed!”

“What are you doing?” Lillie covered her red cheeks her eyes darting to the door from where Jinki disappeared.

“Hey! Did he leave without picking all the trash?” Minho asked coming from the balcony. “I can’t believe he left all the work for me!”

No one answered Minho that groaned a little longer regretting that he decided to help; because suddenly Lillie and Dojoon were looking at each other realizing that something big happened between them.

Lillie covered her lips and looked at her feet embarrassed and Dojoon released her arms softly.

They kissed.

Dojoon parked the car in front of Lillie apartment and they stood in silence which was something very rare between them.

“He didn’t punch me!” Dojoon repeated suddenly as if he was out of things to say. They were acting too awkward ever since they kissed “I thought he was going to because he looked so pissed off but he didn’t. He just stormed outside.”

“I can’t believe you kissed me!” Lillie mumbled still a little lethargic. The silent car ride didn’t help.

“What is wrong with that? I’ve kissed a lot of woman before! It’s only a kiss!” 

However it did feel different with her. She was his friend after all and he admired her.

“I’ve only been kissed by 3 men in all my life!” Lillie said blinking her eyes nervously.

“Really?” That wasn’t surprising though due to her past and the way she was so innocent sometimes “Alex, Jinki and me?”

“Yes!”

“Wow! My cousin is going to kill me!” Dojoon chuckled amused that he got a kiss from the woman he always wanted to kiss.

“Why is all a joke to you? A kiss is a big thing!”

Dojoon sighed “For you, because you are a romantic.” Well for Jinki it seemed to be a big thing too. For someone in love it was probably something really big.

Dojoon hummed in thought until he glanced at her again. She looked away embarrassed and Dojoon grabbed her chin making her look at him again “Wait! Did you feel anything? Did your heart go dugeun-dugeun?”

“No.” She was being sincere and Dojoon released her.

“I didn’t either. It was a good kiss though. I enjoyed it even though you didn’t kiss me back!” He chuckled with his comment but she didn’t even smile.

The truth was that even though he felt nothing with that kiss it was something different for him.

That night was making him feel a little weird. When she was singing that song for Jinki he could have let Lillie give the microphone to Jinki and maybe right now the two of them would be together. He didn’t let her though, because he suddenly felt a bit of jealousy. It was ridiculous and he tried to fix the situation later…which end up with a kiss making things even more confusing. It wasn’t as if he had feelings for her, he didn’t. Maybe he was just afraid to lose her friendship, her company.

“Want me to help you go to bed?” Dojoon offered next with a mischievously smile, being himself again and Lillie that wasn’t that drunk pushed his face away.

“I’m not going to have with you!”

“I know! I’m not Lee Jinki! I bet if it was him offering you would be in bed by now!”

Lillie frowned clearly not wanting to talk about Jinki but Dojoon insisted “He loves you!” No guy would be that upset over a kiss if he didn’t love her.

“I told you to stop! I really don’t want to talk about the crazy party from today and the things I did and he did and how he almost kissed me and then went kissing someone else!”

“He tried to kiss you?” that caught Dojoon’s attention “I knew it!”

“He doesn’t love me though. He made his choice and he is being selfish. And I should move on!”

“What?”

He wasn’t expecting that at all from the woman who said she would wait forever beside her ex.

“Maybe I need to stop being an idiot and move on like he asked. Maybe I need to meet new people and be more like you, forget my romantic nature!  Be free and careless!”

“You mean sleep around?”

“Why not?!”

She was once again speaking with her cute nose in the air and Dojoon laughed at her.

“You can’t Lillie. That’s not who you are!”

”Then let’s try it. Let’s date. The both of us!”

“What?” the suggestion made him sweat.

“Let’s try it. Go out with me. I enjoy your company and we even kissed and I didn’t feel disgusted like I felt with Alex.”

“Alex used to hurt and abuse you. Of course you felt disgusted around him. I feel honored, I do really, but I don’t think dating me will be good for you. Besides I don’t do relationships…”

“I don’t mean a relationship. I mean go out as two people just having fun. No kissing or .”

Dojoon didn’t answer even though that was a good thing for him. He enjoyed being around her and even though he decided to help her get back to his ex he couldn’t deny that he felt a little sad giving her away to another man. Not that he also wanted her. She was his friend and he wanted her to be happy. Maybe if he decided to go along with that she would realize how the best thing to do was to have a serious conversation with the idol and get back to him.

Lillie wasn’t like him. She needed a relationship, love, and someone to hug her after a hard day.

“Please? So I can somehow forget him.” She asked him and Dojoon shook his head.

“You can’t forget him this way Lillie.”

“I know but…”

“You don’t even want to forget him!” Dojoon sighed deeply and Lillie stared at her hands because he was right. “Ok!” He end up agreeing, hiding his real thoughts from her.

“No !” she said again making him smile. “Let’s go slow!”

“I can try slow!” he bended forward to kiss her and Lillie kissed his cheek instead.

“Are we going to be friends with benefits?!”

“I said no kissing or !”

“Damn!”

She grinned at him cutely and then opened the door of the car.

Dojoon watched her walk away and then turned the engine of the car deep in thought.

Did he feel anything when they kissed?! He checked his heart again.

He would lie if he said he didn’t but what he felt wasn’t much different from what he felt with other women. It was even worse because it was a weird ual attractiveness and she was his friend.

No. He didn’t feel anything at all worth worrying about.

He shouldn’t be upset!

Jinki had a girlfriend and yet he was furious because he saw another man kiss his ex.

Min Hee followed him after he left Kibum’s apartment and now they were beside the Han River with Jinki staring at the river in silence and Min here by his side hoping to hear anything from him. She could almost read his thoughts and she wanted to scream with him but that would probably be worse.

He turned around and walked back to his car as if he wasn’t even seeing Min Hee and she followed after him upset “Can you please stop and actually speak to me? I think I deserve it!”

He did as she said turning around to her trying to calm down. She was not guilty for his bad humor although he was also upset with her actions lately. Mainly following him to the party and kissing him like that. Although he couldn’t be upset with her for kissing him when they were dating… He truly needed to end that!

“I don’t know why you are angry when you were the one who ignored me the whole night and pursued another woman instead. We are dating!”

Jinki groaned kicking a small pebble from the ground and Min Hee looked at him surprised. He was always so gentle that she never saw that side of him. It made her sad to recognize that maybe she didn’t knew him well at all, that maybe that side was only something his family and close friends knew about, that Lillie knew about. Now that she thought about it Jinki never argued with her for real and supposedly he did it with his ex.

“What are you doing?” She asked caressing his arm but he moved away from her and didn’t answer, near a mental breakdown.

“I love you Lee Jinki!” Min Hee told him but still he didn’t say anything “Do you love me? At least a little bit?”

Jinki looked at her, his expression softening “Don’t do this Min Hee. Don’t ask me that when you know the answer!”

“I know!” Min Hee said tearing up. making him feel even more awful. He was an idiot, breaking Lillie and now Min Hee’s heart, maybe he was truly selfish. “But you can still fall in love with me…”

“NO!” He said it so firmly that he even scared her “No! It’s not going to happen and you know that! I love Lillie. I’m so damn frustrated because I just saw another man kiss the woman I love. There I said it! That’s what is wrong with me!” He turned around and stormed to his car and Min Hee followed him after a while, her whole world falling apart around her.

She never felt so humiliated in all her life and she couldn’t even blame him because he tried to break up with her before. He tried to warn her.

She sat beside him inside the car and looked at him. He had his head leaning against the driving wheel and seemed exhausted.

“I never wanted to hurt you. I’m terribly sorry!” He said moving his head away from the wheel.

“I left that party so upset and for a while I thought about going home with you and have . But I’m not that Min Hee. I can’t use you to try to forget another woman. I can’t! I can’t do this to you!”

“We can try having if that helps you!” she suggested. She didn’t mind, she was the one who offered herself to him the first time they were together and she knew back then he didn’t love her too. It was only for him when for her it was more.

“No!” the idea revolted him “No. doesn’t solve anything it doesn’t take the pain away from my chest.”

She noticed how he moved his hand to his neck searching for the ring that wasn’t there. He seemed so lost without that memento of her that Min Hee felt awful with what she did.

“I don’t want to lie to you anymore Min Hee!” he said “you are my friend but you were never more than that.”

He was being honest and opening his heart to her and lately Min Hee only lied to him. He could be with Lillie already if it wasn’t for Min Hee. However she simply couldn’t regret doing what she did. It was for love. It was all for love and to protect him.

“I don’t want to break up!” She said “Lillie is dating someone too she is trying to move on…”

Her words on the kitchen came to Jinki’s mind.  Lillie did say she was breaking all ties with him. She did a lot of other things he couldn’t understand. She said he made his choice already and that troubled him because he had no idea what she meant.

“Let’s go slower!” Min Hee suggested “Let’s be friend and go out to get to know each other better. No or skinship if you want!”

“You don’t understand!” he insisted but Min Hee circled his neck with her arms hugging him. “I understand! You can make me understand!”

Jinki closed his eyes the image of that man kissing Lillie replaying over and over again on his head.

“I can be patient! Let me stay by your side.”

He couldn’t deny that Min Hee was always nice to him and she was once again there to hug him when he needed the most, whispering sweet words to him, when once again Lillie was the one making him suffer.

Maybe she deserved that second chance after all he did to her.

On some days, I don’t care who it is
I just want someone to hug me
Or tell me sweet words that disappear

Hello! Sorry it took a looooong time! ^^' Im actualy thinkign about writing the next chapter next already...

It's planned so....

Also good news the chapter after the next or maybe the next one will be the get together chapter...KYAAAA

XD

Ahhhh this is a huge chapter!

ok about Dojoon...no he doesnt love Lillie. XD But they are cute together. XD

And Jules is Juliette! aahaha which is funny cos she kept making fun of Lillie before saying she was Juliette when she is truly the one who was Juliette...u.u

Jinki and Lillie hot scene in the kitchen...No need to thank me. u.u *my fav* ahahaha

Poor Jinki is so confused and that party was a huge mess. 

Karaoke song....lol...."embarassing" X

I feel sorry for Min Hee but she is acting so badly lately....=( I wish I wrote her mroe beautifuly. She isnt a bad person.

Also I know not many other members in this one but it was huge already so I had to focus on the main couple...T__T Sorry!

Anyway subscribe, comment...the usual!

Ps: I absolutely love Onew cover of this song...T__T It fits this chapter perfectly with both of them deciding to search for a little of affection somewhere else....sigh....