You’re always there, protecting me

You always receive the criticism that I should be receiving

You always wordlessly embraced me

So now I will shine it on you like a mirror

- Honesty

Jinki closed the door of Lillie’s apartment and took his shoes off while yawning. It was almost midnight and he didn't have dinner yet and she didn’t either probably. He did ask her to wait after all, but in the end, he had to stay later because of their upcoming comeback. They had a hard time deciding on the songs to feature on the album and after that Jonghyun showed some of the songs he wrote and compose and wanted to give to SHINee. They ended up in the studio with him working until later. Taemin left earlier because of a personal schedule and Jinki had to excuse himself too or Lillie would never have dinner before it was time for breakfast.

Bummie the cat came out from under the table and run to him. He rubbed his small body against Jinki’s leg and he smiled tiredly passing his hand on his fur, delighted with its fluffiness. Jinki was getting used to that, to being greeted by a cute animal in a warm house and by a beautiful woman he loved that wasn't in sight at the moment. In fact, the living room, where she was usually either doing some chore, drawing or watching tv was completely empty with only a lamp lit.

“Lillie?” He called peeking into the kitchen that was empty and in total darkness. “I’m so hungry. You must be too. I’m so sorry. How did the exam go?” He asked receiving no answer in return. Jinki pulled off his sweater and placed it on the couch. He felt way better with fewer clothes now and he would have taken his pants off too but first, he needed to find Lillie.

She didn't answer yet and he was intrigued. Jinki ignored Bummie that kept following him like a dog and checked the bathroom next.

“Lillie? Are you home?” No answer and yet she had to be home, right? It was late and she wasn't supposed to go out at that hour of the night. At least she didn't tell him about it. Jinki opened the door of her bedroom next, by now a little worried. Relieved he saw her sitting beside her bed on the floor her knees being hugged against her chest. Relief lasted shortly when he noticed her wet red eyes when she raised them to him. The room looked like the usual but she didn't at all.

“Lillie?” He strode to her and crouched so that he could touch her face. It felt cold to his touch but still, he wondered if she had a fever. Her eyes would always get that red when she had one. “Are you sick?” She wasn't sick, something happened. Something bad happened and he knew it. All that week she was acting weird and he tried to find out why and he failed in the end. “What happened?” He needed to know now, where he failed and what he could do to help her.

“I decided to tell you,” her voice sounded strained and Jinki moved his fingers down her cold cheek to her neck “Because we are honest with each other, because we love each other, right?” Lillie inhaled as if oxygen was lacking in the bedroom and Jinki recalled how often that used to happen to her when she was dealing with emotional stress and trauma due to what Alex did to her. “Because you said that we should do things together!"

Jinki swallowed hard and kneeled on the floor in front of her his arms falling on his sides. “Lillie, what happened?”

“I have something to tell you but first…” Her voice trembled and he could see her eyes getting wetter. She reached for his hands and his gaze briefly shifted to the gesture before going back to her face again “You need to promise me something!”

“What? You are worrying me!”

“You can’t do anything crazy. You need to promise me that whatever I tell you, you won't go and do anything without my permission.”

Jinki exhaled and sat in front of her on the floor, a sudden sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. “What are you…?” No, he knew “Did that trainee hit on you again? I'm going to speak to him.”

“No, please don't.” She squished his hand and Jinki didn't move and waited “It’s not that. Please just listen to me. Promise me that you won't do anything.”

Jinki bit his lower lip and considered her request. If he was back to that room where Alex abused her he wouldn't be able to just do nothing and watch, he would once again punch him. If it happened to her again, he couldn't and yet she seemed so desperate, tears starting to well up on her eyes and fall, that he was sure that she wouldn't tell him anything if he didn't promise.

“Aish!” He groaned frustrated before he pulled her against his chest and she sobbed against him letting her emotions overflow. He hugged her tight without asking anything else and only caressing her back, feeling her heavy breathing against him.

“I’m so sorry. I keep ruining it for you. I'm sorry.” He hugged her tighter ignoring her words. Whatever happened he was sure it wasn't her fault at all. It was probably something related to her lessons at SM if it wasn't related with the trainee. Did the other trainees find out about them?!

“It’s alright. Just tell me.”

She pushed herself away from his embrace slowly as if she truly didn't want to “Do you promise?”

How could he not when she was looking at him like an abandoned puppy?!

“I promise but I won't think twice before doing anything if someone hurt you. You can't ask me to stay put. You can't…” She frowned and Jinki added “I will tell you first though.” Lillie pouted and he sighed “I will discuss it with you and we will decide what to do together.”

That was the best he could do and she seemed to reach the same conclusion because she looked down at their hands that were holding each other.

“I don't know where to start. At first, I thought it was all in my head.” she giggled nervously and he took that chance that she looked at him to tuck a strand of her hair behind her ear.” I can't believe it is happening again.”

It was his time to freeze. That was way worse than getting embarrassed at his company or others finding out about them. Again, meant only one thing and she probably read his desolation on his face because she hugged him wrapping her arms around his waist, desperately searching for his heat and at the same time trying to warm him up.

“Whatever happened I know it's not your fault.” He said softly trying to keep his voice steady so it won't betray him and show her how he was boiling with a mix of sadness and frustration. She trembled in his arms and he tried to hug her tighter as if she was indeed cold “And you are not alone. Tell me everything.”

She closed her eyes hiding her face against his chest, inhaling his scent before parting her lips to tell him all that happened since that man crossed her life.

A car with a couple inside parked in front of a closed clothes store. The street was almost deserted at that hour of the night since all stores were closed. A big building on the other side of the road still had many lights on. It was one of the many college girls dormitories, the one Minseo called home.

“We should part here.” She declared releasing the hand of her boyfriend. He looked like a kid wearing a cute dark blue beanie on his head, so unlike his style. It was funny how he seemed so much younger than her even though they were born on the same year.

“I can take you to the door though.” He insisted on, feeling braver.

“My dormitory and my college are like traps for idols. Filled with desperate single and unhappy women.”

Taemin laughed and raised a finger to poke her cheek “Are you also unhappy and desperate?”

“I'm not truly single am I?” Minseo mumbled only for him to hear even though they were alone, only one pedestrian here and there passing by, besides they were inside Taemin’s car and was harder to be spotted.

Taemin smiled and leaned forward stealing a kiss from her lips. Since Minseo didn't move and kissed him back he kissed her again and again, caressing her cheek and the back of her neck, his fingers tracing her soft skin slowly. He would lie if he said he didn't desire her but this time he was taking things a lot more slowly.

“It's very refreshing to be taken home by car.” Minseo said when he moved away.

“Why?" he chuckled turning off the music so he could hear her better.

“Because all guys I've dated until now don't own a car and instead they have a bus pass.” Taemin laughed realizing that she was talking about fellow college students. Of course, he was privileged at his age to be able to afford a car. His smile faded when he realized that what she said wasn't entirely true. She dated Minho before and certainly, he drove her home too. However, Taemin chose to ignore it.

Minseo might have felt that something was wrong because it was her time to turn to him and kiss him. He smiled against her lips because she was struggling to do so and he helped her taking her seatbelt off and holding her by her waist so that she was almost over his lap kissing him.

When he thought that things would evolve to something more she pulled away taking a deep breath, her intense gaze on him making him swallow of frustration and desire, the same he was sure she was feeling.

“Good night.” She said touching his lips carefully as if they were precious and way more than flesh.

Taemin blinked his eyes a little overwhelmed and mumbled a good night when she was already opening the door of the car.

She beamed at him with sparkling eyes before closing the door and his heart skipped a beat. He watched her cross the road and enter her dormitory until he was sure she was safe inside. With a proud smile of a boyfriend in love Taemin giggled and run a hand through his hair. He did have many doubts about that. Yes, he and Minseo were very similar and he felt a special connection with her. They were good ually too but, he doubted if he was ready for a relationship, if it would work out. It was true that they were only starting but he felt extremely happy with it so maybe that was the right thing to do all along.

His phone vibrated and Taemin picked it up wondering if he forgot a schedule. It was very unlikely that it was a text from one of his friends at that hour of the night.

How did it go?

Minho texted him and Taemin frowned wondering what he meant.

With Minseo.

Another one.

Well, I took her out for a drive and we talked and listened to music. You were right, she liked it.

Earlier that day Minho gave Taemin some advice and one of them was that Minseo was a simple college girl, different from the ones that often liked going to expensive restaurants and receiving expensive gifts. She simply wanted to bond. Following that advise Taemin decided that maybe only driving around, stopping beside a nice place to talk was enough. And that's what they did. They barely kissed the whole night, but held hands and talked and listened to their favorite songs. He felt as if he found out many new things about her that night and that made him happy. That was in a way thanks to Minho, because his first idea was taking her to the theater to watch a play that was very famous at the moment.

Min loves to talk. She couldn't stop talking when she was excited, just like you. I made a list of places she mentioned that she liked and I'll give it to you tomorrow.

Taemin frowned. He wasn't sure what upset him more. Minho calling her by a diminutive, in such a close intimate way; the fact that he knew exactly how she is like, apparently more than he did; or how Minho seemed to want to coach him about the way he should date his girlfriend.

Am I on a mission or competition now?

He answered Minho. It wasn't as if he had something to prove. He preferred to do it his way with errors, knowing her at his own pace through his dates with her and not because her ex-boyfriend wrote a report about her.

You are on a mission. You need to make her happy!

Taemin slowly placed his phone on the seat beside him and leaned back in thought. He didn't want to hurt Minho and he knew that Minho was so serious helping him because his own love life was a mess. None the less that wasn't helping, that was helping himself and how guilty he felt towards Minseo, and probably towards himself and how his last relationship sunk.

How to push Minho away without hurting his feelings?! Taemin was in trouble.

Jinki didn't say anything and Lillie didn't dare to look at him even though he was sitting beside her, their backs against the wall of her bedroom, his hand over hers that was on the floor in the middle of them.

She told him all that happened, pointing out several times that it was only her point of view, her own feelings and that maybe she interpret things wrongly. He listened to what she had to say with an unreadable expression until she reached the part where all her fears proved to be right, when she was cornered by Manager Kim on his office and the way he behaved towards her and worse his suggestions that didn't leave much to the imagination. She carefully tried to tell him every detail even though she felt her cheeks getting hot with embarrassment and disgust, not only because she was dying to tell it to someone so that she could let it go but also because she wanted to be sure that it happened and that she wasn't wrong to think that that was wrong. She needed someone else to acknowledge what happened to her that afternoon. If she expected Jinki to say that everything would be alright, call Mr. Kim ugly names or hug her she was wrong. Jinki didn't move and besides a slightly tensing up of his hand above hers when she told him about how he placed his hand on her knee or how his jaw clenched when she recalled the disgusting comment he made about never ever before sleeping with a western woman, he didn't show any sign to even be listening to what she said.

She bit her lower lip and risked stealing a glance at him. Jinki seemed to be lost in thought and her chest filled with pain because she knew he was suffering as much as she was.

“Are you upset?” She asked with a voice filled with doubt and lacking confidence. She didn't cry once while telling him what happened and she was doing a good job keeping it like that but she wasn't sure she could keep it for long if he didn't react.

“I am.” she saw his Adam's apple move when he swallowed as if he was also trying to battle his emotions as much as she was.

Lillie moved her hand on top of his instead and that made him look at her. She wanted to look away, her strength failing her but she didn't and firmly stared at him, at his eyes filled with pain “I am sorry.” The last thing she wanted was to hurt him and yet over and over again it happened. It was true that being loved by someone was the quickest way to hurt that person.

“I’m not upset with you.” His fingers moved under hers as if they were trying to rebel and assume their initial position “I’m upset with myself and how I don't seem to be able to protect you like I want.”

“No…” She immediately wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him tight, mimicking what happened before she told him everything. This time she was the one comforting him when Lillie was the one suffering the most. “You always protected me.” She said next to his ear hoping that he could read in her hug and words her sincerity. “It's not your fault that this happened, that men use my past and my weaknesses, that I seem to attract only bastards.”

“Am I a bastard too?” he asked and she pulled away shaking her head so firmly that he almost smiled.

“Never. Some men aren't. You aren't for sure.” if he knew how blessed she felt for meeting him, for having someone like him in her life that made her believe that love was real, that some men were good..

“Because you attract me very much.”

Lillie blinked her eyes and Jinki smiled softly so she smiled too. Was he truly trying to crack a joke in the middle of that delicate moment? It worked though, she felt the muscles of her face relax and was able to swallow her impending tears. He seemed better also seeing her smile and she pressed her lips against his in a short sweet kiss before sitting facing him.

“I love you.” Lillie had no idea how she could have survived that if he wasn't in her life cracking silly jokes and making her want to be stronger.

“I know.” he said, his gaze not leaving hers. “I want to kill him.”

“No.” she widened her eyes panic settling in but he grabbed her arm and slowly moved his hand over her skin and down to her wrist as if he was holding onto her so she would stop him.

“But I'm not doing that.” Jinki added, a brief small grin gracing his features because she clearly relaxed after it “That is really not a good idea. Satisfactory but not a good one.”

“It's not.” She agreed, watching his hand move down to hold hers.

“I would lose a lot.”

“And I would lose you.”

“We can't let that happen.” He concluded and she nodded cleaning her eyes even though she wasn't crying.

“No, we can't.” So what should they do?!

He read the question in her eyes and spoke again, his voice calm which she was thankful to “Instead I am going to report him.”

“To the police?” She was going to say it wasn't a good idea also because that would bring up a lot of questions they didn't want to answer with him being famous and everything but he interrupted her.

“No, to the company.” There was no doubt in his eyes and she knew he had made that decision already, probably while he was quiet. She was filled with doubts thinking that he was upset with her and he was, after all, trying to find a way to help her. “They will probably assign someone else to work with you.”

“That would be great. Will they believe me though? I'm sorry, I'm giving you this much trouble.”

“They will. Stop saying that you are sorry.” He did say the same thing back then when Alex tried to her. Why was she sorry about something that wasn't her fault and yet she felt sorry towards him. Dating her wasn't an easy task for an ordinary man but Jinki was no ordinary man and that thought made her smile.

Jinki kissed her then, his arms wrapping around her, pulling her to his lap which she did with no resistance kissing him back, caressing his cheeks.

Jinki wasn't the perfect boyfriend but he wasn't that far away from it, at least in her eyes.

He hummed against her lips, his hand searching something on his pocket and Lillie opened her eyes noticing that something was wrong. His eyes were also open so she broke the kiss and followed his actions. He took out his phone and unlocked it. After a few seconds, he turned it to her and she grabbed the phone so that she could check it. Lillie his lap so that he could also see the phone. It was open on their kakao chat and on the sound message she sent before leaving South Korea back to her country before they broke up.

Jinki touched the screen and her message started to play. Lillie cringed at the words and he chuckled watching her. After what seemed like an eternity of embarrassment, where she had no idea why he was doing that, he played his message and she couldn't face him until his old self-started to sing In your eyes.

“You probably remember it. I bet you played it several times.” Jinki was wrong. She didn't dare to. And the last time and second she played it was when she thought that he broke up with her for good.

“Thank you for coming to me.” He repeated the lyrics of the song “I meant it. There are some rocky moments in our relationship but when I think of you I can only smile. I'm thankful everyday that you are by my side.”

She leaned her head against his shoulder and realized that slowly all the pain and negative energy she had inside her all that time was gone. It wasn't as if she wasn't worried anymore, she was, but now she had hope that everything would turn up well at the end.

“I'm not sure what to say so I will express it the only way I can.Thank you!” She could see him smile even though her eyes were closed.

He placed a gentle kiss on her forehead and she smiled too opening her eyes.

“Good choice of words.” Like always, like she always did even before they started dating. He stood up and pulled her with him “Now let's make dinner. I'm famished.”

They held hands and walked out of the bedroom.

“Aish why are you shooting at me this way?” Jonghyun complained, moving his character in the game behind a car.

Minho, that was sitting on Jonghyun's bed, watched him play yawning loudly.

He was bored because many of his friends were busy so he decided to visit Jonghyun. Unfortunately, his hyung was too busy playing games, sitting on the floor in the middle of his bedroom, his eyes on the tv. If only he had a soccer game they could play together. Minho crossed his arms and decided to get him one as a gift even though he knew that Jonghyun prefered other kind of games.

“How was your day?” It took Minho awhile to realize that this time Jonghyun was speaking to him.

“It was alright.”

“Are you hungry?”

“Not really.” Jonghyun frowned turning slightly to check on Minho since it was weird to see him lack energy and lose his appetite.

“I know what you are thinking.” Minho said picking up one book from Jonghyun’s bed and checking it curiously “I'm alright. I'm just bored. ”

“I'm sorry” Jonghyun apologized “We can play one game together next. I have a racing one.”

“Nice.” Minho let himself slide to the floor next to Jonghyun and placed the book back over the bed. A furry small cute dog approached him and Minho greeted Roo caressing her fur.

“Roo~” Jonghyun almost sang in a cute voice making the dog approach him. She sniffed his arm and Jonghyun leaned forward so she could his face. Minho chuckled when she jumped on her front legs to her dad making Jonghyun push her softly away.

“What about Changmin? You said you were going to drink with him today.” Jonghyun wondered.

Minho’s eyes moved to the clock over the fireplace on Jonghyun’s bedroom and back to him. It was extremely late and they should be sleeping and yet Jonghyun didn't show any sign of being tired. He certainly was though. He recorded his radio show in the afternoon for the days he would be in Japan and he even worked on the new songs for their album, despite other schedules.

“He is busy, so I went to the gym and decided to come here after. I thought you would be working on the demo song we had.”

“I was going to but Sodam got promoted and my mom did a small dinner party for her - I managed to came on time for the cake - and then she kinda pushed me to rest tonight. She will kill me if she sees me working.”

“Does she know you are playing games instead of sleeping.”

“How can I sleep if you are here?” Jonghyun asked groaning because his character got shot.

“True." he knew that wasn't the reason though "Should I leave?”

Jonghyun laughed “Of course not. Stay.” The sweet smile Jonghyun offered him was enough to make Minho rest his back against the side of the bed without moving an inch.

They talked a little bit about work and random things until Jonghyun touched the taboo subject.

“Did you saw her?” He asked while the racing game menu loaded.

“I didn't.” Their worlds would probably cross at one point since both worked in the entertainment industry but until it happened Minho would do everything in his power to avoid it. “I don't want to.”

“It's understandable but…” Jonghyun leaned back beside Minho and both would have chuckled with their height differences if they weren't talking about a sensitive subject. “Maybe you two should truly talk. I mean you haven't yet ever since you found out right?”

“I really don't want to know more than I already do.”

“Yes but…”

“You are still up.” A feminine voice coming from the door made both look at it. Minho’s cheeks become as red as Sodam’s red pajamas.

“Aish!” Jonghyun complained noticing how his sister was wearing a tiny silk pajamas with shorts and spaghetti top. “Why are you walking around like that when we have visitors?”

She hid behind the door and rolled her eyes “I had no idea you weren't alone. Besides he is like my little brother.” Minho looked away a little uncomfortable but the siblings barely noticed, both bickering with each other.

“I only wanted to tell you something before bed that I forgot to at dinner.”

“What?”

“Me and Doojoon end up in nothing. He was going out with someone else too and I realized I didn't want that for me.”

“He cheated on you?” Jonghyun asked upset. He wasn't the only one because Minho turned to Sodam too forgetting all about her lack of clothes. How could he cheat on Sodam? She was beautiful, smart, an amazing woman, the one any person would want for a girlfriend.

“He didn't cheat on me.” she chuckled “We had nothing going on. We went out as friends getting to know each other. Only that.” She sighed deeply. “I'm just tired of being alone. It's so hard to find someone. Anyway, good night.”

Sodam left after giving a small nod in Minho's direction and Jonghyun excused himself following her.

Minho stood on his place staring at the blinking button on the screen to start a new game. If only life was as easy as a game, if only you could start over and over again. In a way, you could…

He waited for Jonghyun to comeback, lost in his thoughts, until he got tired and got up.

He crossed the hallway wondering where Jonghyun went when he passed by Sodam’s room. The door was open and she was inside the room surprisingly alone, no Jonghyun in sight. He should have walked away and gone down the stairs in search of his hyung but instead, he stood there watching Sodam that was putting a face mask on, her hair caught up, a cute multi colored hair band on her head with a big bow. She looked pretty ridiculous and yet so feminine and attractive. Minho tilted his head as if he was caught on a spell admiring Sodam like he never admired her, as a woman and not only Jonghyun's sister. He swallowed hard confused and was going to walk away when she turned around and looked at him. If she was only a sister to him he would have made fun of how weird she looked but instead and maybe because he was confused about his feelings Minho blushed deeply instead.

“S-sorry, I was looking for Jonghyun.” It wasn't a lie after all.

“It's alright. He is downstairs, I think he went to grab something for you to eat.”

“That's very nice of him.” Minho mumbled. He truly didn't feel hungry though. His eyes fell down to her short pajamas again and Minho had to look away and look around the bedroom instead. For a girl, Sodam had almost no soft toys in her bedroom. Instead, she had a big collection of cactus with flowers over her desk and many music albums in the shelve over it.

Sodam ignored him turning to fix her mask, her full attention on the mirror again but Minho didn't move immediately.

“I know how you feel.” He said instead “I feel the same when it comes to finding love.” She turned around and blinked her eyes that looked very small in the middle of the holes in the white mask.

“Well…” Before Minho walked away she stood up and walked to him. He watched her transfixed as if he never saw her - she looked weird with the mask on - and his heart started beating fast. What was wrong with him? She was only Jonghyun’s older sister, his noona.

Sodam raised her hand and Minho widened his eyes when she patted his head softly as if he was Roo.

“You grew up a lot. Noona is proud of you.”

Minho hated it. He never liked when people didn't take him seriously and he hated that she was treating him as if he was only a kid. He was a grown-up even though he was younger than her. He was a man and she shouldn't ignore it. Jonghyun was right. She needed to be more careful and he decided to tell her so.

“We all grew up. Don't walk around in your pajamas in front of me or any Jonghyun’s friends.”

Sodam crossed her arms in front of her chest and for a tiny bit Minho swear she blushed but maybe it was his imagination. “Are you controlling me now too? Did my brother asked you to do it too?”

“No. I just don't like it, I mean as your younger brother.”

She didn't say anything and Minho’s courage started to fail him, maybe he went too far. She was still his noona.

“Alright. I'll be careful.” She grabbed the door and Minho knew that she was saying her goodbyes to him, transforming his advice into actions. “Good night.”

He bowed and she closed the door softly.

Minho stared at the closed door and frowned regretting his outburst now. He sounded like an idiot, like her brother or boyfriend and he was none. Truthfully he was nothing to her, not her friend, brother or lover. They were only acquaintances because he was her brother’s friend and coworker, so he had no right to give her advice, not when he was younger than her.

He closed his eyes in regret when he heard Jonghyun climbing up the stairs probably holding a tray of food to share with him.

For some reason, Minho got nervous and panicked running away back to Jonghyun’s bedroom.

Was it that wrong to talk with his sister? Maybe it wasn't what he said, but more the weird way he looked at her that made it feel wrong.

“So?” Lillie asked, watching Jinki read her written test. They already had dinner and were now sitting on her bed. It was the perfect moment to give him at least one piece of good news in the middle of the whole mess that was her day.

A beautiful smile started to grow on his face and he leaned forward and kissed her cheek.

“I’m truly proud.”

“I did well, didn't I? Even when you tried to distract me!” She chuckled leaning her head against his shoulder while he looked at the paper.

They were trying really hard during dinner to not mention what happened and she was extremely tired and yet grateful to him for acting so natural when she was sure he was burning with hatred for that man inside.

He placed the test on the bedside table and she sat up straight crossing her legs under her .” I want a present, a reward for my hard work.”

He chuckled “What? A bag, flowers...?”

She frowned. That was usually what guys would give their girlfriends. Her female acquaintances would always boast about getting those presents from their boyfriends to her.

“Ahh….book?" Jinki looked completely clueless and tried to guess again, his eyes moving around the bedroom as if he was trying to find something missing. Bummie was sleeping at the end of the bed. “A bed for Bummie? A ring?”

He wasn’t far away from the things she would like but yet it wasn’t any of that what she desired the most.

“No.” She shook her head firmly and then poked his chest with her index finger “I want the best present ever!” He looked at her clueless and Lillie rolled her eyes laughing “ You!”

He grinned before looking downcast “I'm really tired right now.”

Lillie chuckled “You don't want to have ? That's new.”

“Yeah. I think I might be getting sick.”

She took his comment seriously and touched his forehead softly checking his temperature. He smiled admiring her apprehensive expression and the caring way she was acting. His temperature seemed fine and she smiled softly kissing his forehead and then rubbing her nose against his. “You are really tired.”

“I am. Tomorrow I will go to the company before leaving for Japan. I’ll tell them about what happened today and I want you to take some time off from the program until everything is solved.”

“Really? Is that possible?” She was relieved she didn't have to face that man again.

“I think so.”

Lillie slid on the bed and leaned her head against his shoulder again. “I have another wish.”

“Tell me.”

“I want Tokyo Banana.” She never went to Japan before and she really wanted to try it. Jules loved it and when she went to watch SHINee perform at Tokyo Dome she bought some for her and mailed it to her.

Jinki chuckled because that was the easiest thing to ask for. He always bought it for his parents at the airport before coming home from one of his schedules in Japan.

“I’ll get it for you. I promise.”

She kissed his lips quickly and he kissed her again, deepening the kiss pushing her down on the bed, stealing her breath away in a very delicious way. It wasn't as if he didn't want to do that but she didn't want him to have with her just because she wanted it and he felt like he had to.

Once he broke the kiss she spoke. “When I said I wanted you I didn't mean only .”

“I know.” His husky voice and the way he wouldn't take his eyes away from her lips and eyes made her heart beat faster.

“It means that I want to be with you. Like this is enough.”

“Like this?” He asked with that sweet hot low voice that made her blood boil. Jinki pulled her against his body and Lillie swallowed a whimper of pleasure trying hard to keep her poker face. She truly didn't want him to force himself to be with her physically. He was tired and she was too. She only wanted to hug him and that was what she told him by wrapping her arms around him fiercely making Jinki’s y demeanor evaporate into sweetness.

She rubbed her head against his shoulder. “I only want you to hug me to sleep. This close is enough.”

“But then I will sweat like crazy.” He whispered against her ear closing his eyes. How could someone want to hurt her?!

“Ah right!” She pulled herself away from Jinki and he laughed out loud before cupping her face with his hands.

“It's alright. For a little while, we can cuddle, until you fall asleep.”

“You can…” she embarrassedly spoke, “You can spoon me a little.”

He melted completely and kissed her lips. “With soy sauce or without?”

Lillie pushed him playfully away and laughed while he watched her with a playful smile. He pulled the covers over both and turned the light off.

“Time to sleep now!” she announced.

“Time to cook Lillie!”

Lillie’s laughter filled the room and he gently turned her around making her face the wall. Lillie gasped when he laid down behind her and wrapped his arms around her, aligning his body with her, just like she asked him to do. She closed her eyes and he hugged her tighter.

“You are going to sweat a lot.” Lillie supposed “It’s alright if it’s only for a few minutes.”

“I’m fine. Just sleep.” He whispered with his warm low voice making her heart beat faster. He always made her go crazy in love. Lillie grabbed his hand on her stomach and kissed his arm. In exchange he kissed the back of her neck and lingered there, his warm steady breath on her skin lulling her to sleep.

Her mind drifted into everything and nothing until a sudden thought assaulted her.

“Jinki?”

“Hum?” He seemed a little groggy with sleep, just like her.

“You said you would sing In your eyes for me when I came back. You didn’t yet.”

“Hum.”

That answer didn’t satisfy her.

“Maybe you could sing it as a lullaby.”

“Don’t want to.” He answered rubbing his nose on her skin “Someday, another time.”

Lillie frowned “Why?”

She was even going to turn but Jinki hugged her tighter as a warning to not do so.

“Let that go please. I’m saving that song.”

She didn't speak again and instead pondered on his words. Saving? For when? If he made her mad and wanted to woo her? Or for when they would have to say goodbye again?! Lillie panicked a little. Or maybe for a special happy occasion. She smiled widely, a good one in her mind. Jinki moved in his sleep, his hug losing strength and Lillie let herself relax, falling into sleep soon after.

One of the things Jules loved more about Seoul was how pretty it looked from Kibum’s apartment. The sun was rising covering the tall building with an orange light and she sipped her tea again admiring the view. Kibum was probably awake now, he had a plane to catch after all.

Soft arms wrapped himself around her waist raising the light blue men’s shirt she was wearing - the only piece of clothing besides her - and Jules smiled leaning back against Kibum, inhaling his perfume.

“Why are you wearing my shirt?” He asked pretending to be upset and Jules ignored him knowing best that he was instead extremely aroused seeing her like that. The way he was holding her, his voice and his lower body was the proof of that.

“I couldn't find my clothes…” She turned around wrapping an arm lazily around his neck before kissing his neck. Kibum shivered, his hands moving down her body to her that he d possessively. “Someone ripped them from my body yesterday.”

She was exaggerating in the choice of words but they truly were desperate the previous night. It was the first time Kibum was closer to have rough with a woman and he loved it. All of him wanted more and he had a feeling she wouldn't mind if he asked it next time.

“When you say things like that you make me want to…” he d her making her moan and she rubbed herself against making him bit his lower lip lost for words.

Jules kissed his neck softly again letting her hands move down over his chest and Kibum closed his eyes enjoying those caresses that would never go down to his pajama pants.

“I need to go back home.”

“Yeonggam will be sad.” Kibum said automatically.

Jules smiled like a cat moving the tips of her fingers on his cheek, remembering how last night she carved her nails on his back while he moved inside her. ”Jinki or you?”

“Both.”

She groaned knowing she would miss him but she missed her space too, her home and things. “I miss my bed.” It was probably shallow to say it like that but she did.

“You can stay longer.” he suggested “A few more days. Until we start to get ready for the comeback in full force. I barely will be home then. I'll probably crash at the dorm.”

“Hum...convince me!” she challenged him.

However, before Kibum had time to find a way to do so a loud crash followed by a dog’s pained howl made him release her.

Jules watched Kibum ran to Garçon that was now in a corner hiding from the small bookcase in fear. Kibum grabbed him as if he was a kid and Jules placed the bookcase on its place. Luckily it was empty because Kibum was going to throw it away since he was in the middle of another living room modification.

“I told you not to play around it. Aish why aren't you like Comme Des? Aigo!”

Jules watched Kibum while he checked his puppy’s paw, sighing relieved that he had no injuries. If it was in the past, that behavior would probably upset her a little, how he seemed to completely forget what they were talking about and tended to a dog instead. But she changed and that side of Kibum was the most adorable thing.

She wanted to tell him she was convinced already but she liked to challenge him.

Taemin yawned loudly and skipped one the songs on his phone. He was the dj that day like he often was, on their ride from the company to the airport. Jinki was beside the manager that was driving and Minho was sitting beside Kibum while Taemin was alone on the back seat with Jonghyun.

Suddenly Minho the seat and showed his phone to Taemin that blinked his eyes confused with what he was seeing. It seemed like a list of some sort.

“What's that?”

“This is the best thing I ever gave you.” Minho said proudly ”It's a list of possible dates and things Minseo showed up interest on when we were…” Minho didn't say the rest as if it was a taboo and he didn't have to. Taemin didn't say anything and his gaze crossed Kibum’s that was staring at him and Minho from behind his cute nerdy glasses.

“I even wrote her favorite colors, food, movies...all I could remember.” Minho informed.”I worked extremely hard on this.”

“I think he can see that.” Kibum mumbled only to be ignored by Minho that seemed to be on fire.

“I'm going to send the file to you.”

Taemin didn't say anything and Minho kept filling him on all the dates and information he collected about Minseo.

“...she prefers strawberry milk over banana one. She will tell you that she likes fish but she prefers meat over it. She truly liked chicken feet and one of her ideal dates involves hiking.” Minho checked his phone “I also checked the several clothes pics she sent to me when she was once shopping to see what style of things she was thinking about buying and the stores she frequents and…”

“I think Taemin got the picture.” Jonghyun jumped in. He seemed to not be listening to the conversation and all but he did in the end and saved Taemin for hurting Minho since he was reaching his limits.

“I still have some…”

“You can send him that info.” Kibum helped sending Minho a worried look. He was trying too hard and that was weird. “Anyway, Yeonggam.”

Jinki turned around immediately to look at Kibum.

“Jules is going back home tomorrow.”

“SHE IS WHAT?”

“She can't stay at my place forever!” Kibum fixed his glasses “She says she misses her bedroom. She played a bit hard to get and asked me to convince her to stay longer but…”

“YOU MUST CONVINCE HER!” Jinki begged earnestly making Jonghyun laugh.

“Ah, I don't know!” Kibum shrugged his shoulders. Clearly, he was trying to tease Jinki with that.

“You truly need her to stay with you!” Jinki insisted. “She does the best tea!”

Kibum chuckled “I don't drink tea at night. I drink wine.”

“You can drink wine together!”

“Ahhh not sure…”

“Just ask for help from Minho! He seems to be very good at making profiles of girlfriends and guessing what they want.”

Jinki’s words made the conversation die when all eyes settled on Minho. He truly didn't know what he was doing when it comes to love. He was on his second failed relationship already.

“I mean…”

“Aish I like being alone at home with my kids.” Kibum said quickly and Jinki pouted.

The following minutes were filled with Jinki begging Kibum to help him by convincing Jules to stay at his place, and Taemin changing songs absentmindedly avoiding looking at Jonghyun that watched him and Minho carefully.

“Hello!” Doojoon greeted with a huge smile. However, Jules ignored him - she already had to see him because of business - and instead hugged Lillie.

“What are you doing here?”

“I came to have lunch with you!” Jules turned to Lillie’s boss that was in front of her desk holding some papers “When is she free?”

Doojoon was going to check his wristwatch but Jules’ scary expression - he didn’t feel like teasing her and the fact that Lillie was working without a break - made him answer immediately “She is free.”

“Good! “ Jules grabbed Lillie’s coat and bag and pulled her out the office while she silently sent an I'm sorry in Dojoon’s direction.

They left the building together holding hands. The sun made both blind for a second and Jules quickly placed her sunglasses looking extremely cool which made Lillie smile. In her eyes, her best friend would always be the best and the most attractive and cool woman ever.

“So how did it go?” That morning Lillie updated Jules about everything that happened and that was probably the reason her friend came running to her.

“Well, Jinki called me saying that I can take days off while he is in Japan.”

“What about that ?” Jules crossed her arms “Is he going to be punished?”

“For now and since he didn't do anything wrong…”

“HE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG?” Jules fumed and Lillie couldn't blame her. She felt the same when Jinki told her and even though he seemed to be acting normal on the phone she was sure he was also upset with all that. ”Then were they waiting for him to abuse you further?”

“Jules please.” Only naming that possibility was enough to make her stomach revolve. “For now they are investigating him and he is forbidden of getting closer to me. Apparently I'm not the first girl. There are rumors of him doing this to other women inside the company, mostly rookies.”

“The entertainment world is such an ugly place.” Jules sighed deeply hugging Lillie. “I'm so sorry my Tokki. I wish I could go and kick that guy where it hurts the most but that would only bring more trouble, right?”

“Yeah. Probably.” Lillie chucked remembering how Jinki said something similar and Jules laughed with her.

“But it's great that by accusing him you are also helping other girls that couldn't do it with fear of retaliation.”

“Yes. Actually if I was only a trainee and didn't have Jinki’s support I probably would end up being like them or giving up. Also, I feel like I brought once again problems to Jinki. He already has so many things to worry about. He keeps sending me texts and it's so unusual. He is worried. This morning before he got up he hugged me so tight.” Lillie blushed remembering and because Jules started cheering, embarrassing her “He seems…” Lillie spoked over Jules cheers and she stopped “He seemed to want to stay with me. I guess he is worried about my emotional state.”

“Well isn't it normal to be worried?”

“I guess.”

“That's loving someone and caring for someone.”

Lillie didn't say anything and Jules wrapped an arm around her protectively. “Anyway, forget it. We are on route to solve this problem and soon he will be back from Japan to hug you tightly again.” She made a teasing sound and Lillie chuckled embarrassed “Besides it’s good that he is texting you. He is awful when it comes to contact you, right? Enjoy this moment.” Jules was right she needed to relax.

“I know this awesome place to eat Kimchi jjigae! Let's go!”

Jinki entered the plane after Minho and greeted the crew with a smile and bow. He tried to move fast to his seat while struggling with his handbag and his phone in the other hand. He was going to text Lillie before the plane took off but he had no idea what to tell her. He was so bad with that kind of thing but that day more than even he wanted to keep in touch with her so she wouldn't think of silly things and feel like he was beside her even though away physically.

I'm on the plane.

He wrote to her when he was crossing the boarding tunnel.

Have a safe flight. Tell me when you arrive.

She wrote back and even though he liked the message he needed more. He waited for the I love you or any sign of her deep affection for him but nothing.

Jinki frowned and quickly typed, his eyes moving from his phone to the path in front of him. Minho already found his seat and Jinki was beside him.

Jinki didn't know what to write to make her spill it so he wrote:

Aren't, you forgetting something?

That was probably too aggressive so he was going to erase it when Kibum hit Jinki with his bag by mistake, mumbling an I'm sorry but you were in the way and Jinki stepped forward sending the message to Lillie instead.

He groaned realizing his mistake but didn't have time to correct it because he went against someone again, this time a beautiful and familiar woman.

“Hello.” She greeted Jinki politely and he gasped realizing she was Min Hee. “Why are you so surprised? We are on the same plane. Ah…” She pointed at the hallway behind him and he moved away giving her space “I didn't have time to go to the bathroom so going now real quick.”

He didn't say anything and swallowed hard watching her walk away.

Jonghyun passed by Jinki and pushed him down to his seat gently so that he wouldn't be on the way again. With everything that happened with Lillie, Jinki completely forgot about Min Hee going with them to Japan and having a concert together, he also forgot to tell Lillie and he had to do soon.

Jinki blinked his eyes and stared at his phone. She answered his message.

“I never forget it. It's always 100% true and happening. I love you ❤ ”

He giggled with the cheesiness, relaxing on his seat, not even noticing Min Hee passing by him once again.

When it’s hard and I want to give up

When I want to run away because of my weak heart

Your small hand became the biggest strength to me

I will sing a song for you forever

I know it took me a while. I'm sorry, but I was busy having an amazing month of fangirling with SHINee. August is a complicated month too with coworkers going on vacation and extra hours at work but I'm doing my best to update my fics. 

To try and do it faster I will probably cut down on the chapters. That's why this chapter is smaller than what it usually is. I left a lot out of it and therefore there is no real cliffhanger on this chapter like it usually. Next chapter will have a big one though so look forward to it.

I'm also working on Wanted and once I'm finished with it I will jump to Perfectly Dangerous that is ending. I'm very excited and nervous at the same time to write the last chapter of the story. Wait for it~

Thank you once again for still reading my stories and please comment, subscribe and upvote ~