Note: this chapter was not beta-read. Any mistakes please let me know in the comments. Thank you.

Can't count the years on one hand that we've been together

I need the other one to hold you

Make you feel, make you feel better

It's not a walk in the park to love each other

But when our fingers interlock, can't deny, can't deny, you're the worth it

Still into you - Paramore

Jinki was the first one to get out of the car and Lillie followed him, meeting him outside on the side of the road. A few cars passed them by but they were hidden by his parked car and no one was nearby since they were in the middle of nowhere.

Jinki wouldn’t leave Lillie there even if he broke up with her, right?! That was the less of her worries though. He wouldn't break up with her, he couldn’t.

He took a deep breath of exhaustion and leaned against his car beside Lillie.

She did the same waiting for him to say something which he didn't for a while. He his side facing her and she looked at him biting her lower lip nervously.

“Say it again.”

“What?”

He pushed his body away from the car and stood in front of her, one hand still on his car, pinning her between him and it.

“That you are weak and you hate yourself.” He furrowed his brow and she swallowed hard.

“It seems like you are going to strike me if I do.”

He frowned, even more, wondering if she really thought that but she smiled weakly and he relaxed.

“Just say it!” He insisted but his tone softer.

“I…” She seemed unable to repeat the words.

“Do you know why you can’t say it again? Because you know that it isn’t true!” He leaned closer to her “You survived the abuse, Lillie. You are a survivor! You survived not only one but two s that crossed your life! You are dating a famous idiot that sometimes doesn't seem to be able to make his feelings come across to you. You fought your insecurities and fears and you are here with me. Damn, you argued with me yesterday just because you can’t accept the idea that you are the property of someone, because you are an independent woman, do you know what that means?”

She didn't know what to say but his words and the respect in his eyes were making her emotional.

“You love me don’t you?” Jinki asked.

“Yes, very much!” Was he doubting her feelings?!

He caressed her cheek “And yet you fought with me, someone you really love and trust, unable to accept the fact that I demanded you to not do something. I’m proud of you Lillie, really proud. Don't ever say that you are weak, that you hate yourself. Ever again…” He took a deep breath “Because in my eyes you are one of the strongest people I know. I admire my girlfriend and I won’t allow you to offend her!”

Lillie’s eyes filled with tears and she grabbed his shirt not resisting the desire to touch him “But if it wasn't for you I wouldn't be able to protect myself. I needed your help.”

“That doesn't matter, just because you need help it doesn't mean that you are weak. No one is invincible, no one.” He cleaned the tears off her cheeks carefully and she sniffed wanting to hide in his arms. “Everyone needs help. Asking for it is also a strength and having someone willing to help you is a sign of your value, isn’t it? I’m not going to tell you again to not do it but I really don't’ agree with it. I know you must feel hopeless and it seems like the company isn’t doing anything. I’m upset too and I would go have a talk with the guy if you want to but I’m also not going to beg you to not do it. “ He looked her in the eyes and smiled admiring her wet eyelashes “I’ll respect your decision but please don't ask me to accept it. It's your safety, the safety of the woman I love and I won't risk it for anything!”

She nodded slowly and buried her head on his chest instead of saying anything. He was so warm and smelled so nice and she allowed herself to be protected by his arms. He hugged her back and patted her back gently.

“Thank you.” She mumbled only for him to hear even though they were alone.

“Now it’s probably not the right time to tell you this but…” He softly revealed.

“Tell what?” She sniffed again pulling reluctantly from him.

“I forgot to tell you that my cousins and relatives are going to have dinner with us tonight.

She pushed from his body in a panic. She was going to meet more of his family “What?!”

“I’m sorry, I only found out today and I had a busy day and forgot to tell you.”

“Oh god!” she cleaned her eyes, smudging her eyeliner even more “I must look awful!”

He cupped her face and kissed her lips. “You always look beautiful! However, we better stop on our way there for you to check your makeup.”

She pushed him away playfully and he laughed out loud.

Lillie looked around the table watching the several conversations going on. Jinki’s father, Jinki, and some of his cousins were talking about work-related things, his mother and his aunt were discussing recipes, and Jinki’s younger cousins were talking about music and games. Only one of his aunts and a female older cousin were observing Lillie curiously.

When she arrived she was very nervous, worried that she might do something considered rude but Jinki introduced her as his girlfriend which warmed her heart and his mother told her to relax that they were all good people and eager to know her. One hour later the food was served - she tried to help - and they were almost finished and were only chilling and talking while they ended their drinks. Jinki was drinking more than usual but he seemed far away from being drunk, his mood improved a lot too and he ate very well. He only needed to rest to seem healthy again.

She was very tired and sleepy too and couldn't wait to get to bed. She had no idea where she would sleep but she would be ok with anything anyway as long as she had a pillow.

The gift she gave Jinki’s father was still over the table where he placed it and she smiled remembering how happy he seemed even though she gave him a simple wine bottle. It was expensive though and she asked Jules for advice or she would have failed miserably. Jinki scolded her for spending money on it but she ignored him. It was good to leave a good impression. That's why she gifted his mother with flowers too.

“What do you do for a living?” Jinki’s cousin Jinha asked, starting what Lillie has feared, the interrogation moment that every new possible family member went through. Minseo warned her about it. Koreans were very curious and asked questions that sometimes could make foreigners uncomfortable. It was a simple and normal question though and his cousin seemed nice. She was pretty, having her mother's smile, the same one she shared with her sister, Jinki’s mom. If you looked carefully at her she did resemble Jinki a little. She was also around her age so they could be friends. Lillie was never good at making new friends but she surely got better after moving to South Korea. She had so many new and good friends now.

“I’m working as a secretary and assistant.”

“She was a teacher before, English teacher.” Jinki added smiling gently at Lillie. She didn't even realize that the other conversations around the table died and all eyes were on her. Yes, it was interrogation time for sure.

“You couldn't find a teaching position?” Jinha asked interested since she has said before that she was also working as a math teacher. Lillie didn't share much about herself when they were first introduced and that probably was a mistake since now she was being questioned in front of everyone that were very interested in her. When she first met Jinki’s parents they didn't ask much about her, worried to make her feel uncomfortable and they probably knew from Jinki the essentials but he clearly didn't have time to tell his other family members much about her. Lillie was sure he barely saw them which was sad but made sense when you were so busy being an idol.

“Can I go to the bathroom?” One of Jinki’s 2nd cousins asked his mother, interrupting the conversation. His mother, the same age as Lillie - she felt like an expired product when she met her - had already 2 kids and was married to one of Jinki’s cousins.

“Sure.” She quickly dismissed the kid and set her eyes on Lillie that her lips nervously.

“I can but I lost my last one when I had to go back home…” she wasn't sure they knew about that part of Jinki’s and her love story. She looked at him briefly but he had his eyes on his glass of soju and drank it instead. “And when I came back I found this job and I’m still there.”

“Do they pay well?” Jinki’s uncle asked.

It wasn't as if he paid more than she could get in a decent teaching job but it wasn't bad either.

“It’s alright!” They seemed to be expecting more and she realized that she was supposed to say how much. In her country that would be rude but for them it wasn't at all. Lillie said the value and everyone hummed. They didn't seem that interested since she was a woman and Jinki earned well. That hurt her a little but she hid her thoughts to herself. She was in a different country with a different point of view, besides she knew Jinki would support her professionally. She peeked at him and he smiled at her, his fingers found hers under the table and he squeezed her hand.

“Are you serious about staying?” His uncle asked. “Are you going to stay here in South Korea?”

“I don't intend on going back to my country, I want to live here.” There was no doubt in her mind. She never felt so safe and happy as she did ever since she moved to Seoul. She fell in love with the country and her whole life was there, her friends, and the man she loved. Her family wasn't though. “I will go to visit my parents of course and maybe my brother. He lives in England by the way but here is my country.”

“You working on getting a permanent residency then?”

She did search into it already and she was sure she could get it.

“She doesn't need one. She can marry Jinki and it's done.” One of Jinki’s aunts said and there were some people agreeing with her around the table.

Marrying...Lillie blushed. “That's not what I want…” she said without thinking receiving a perplexed look from Jinki’s aunts and basically the whole family. She panicked her eyes drifting to Jinki by her side. He seemed as surprised as the others but maybe a little hurt too. “No, I don't mean that I don't want to marry or that I'm not serious about it just that I'm not marrying him because of that. I'm marrying him because I love him.”

Everyone seemed to relax and laughed it out and Jinki even chuckled. Lillie felt her cheeks burn, she just confessed to him in front of his whole family.

“So you are getting married?!” Jinki’s aunt’s eyes shone brightly and she tried to look at Lillie’s fingers, which were hidden below the table, being grabbed by Jinki’s and where only her modest couple ring was “You didn't tell us yet!”

“Oh!” Jinki was also blushing and Lillie bit her lower lip realizing that she made another mistake.

“No, no you got it all wrong! We aren't getting marrying!” She tried to correct her mistake but Jinki released her hand and took the reigns from her hands saving her.

“We aren't getting married yet, she was only trying to say that if she marries me it won't be to get a permanent residency.”

“Exactly!” Lillie had to calm herself down and stop making a fool of herself.

“So are you going to go public?” Jinha changed the topic but not to something pleasant.

Lately, it was so hard to not think about it and how in a few days everyone will know her as Onew’s girlfriend.

“Yes, very soon.” Her boyfriend answered.

“I’ll check the news every day. I hope it goes well.”

“I'm praying every day it does.” Jinki’s mother remarked and Lillie smiled at her thankful.

“So do you want to have kids?” Jinki’s aunt asked Lillie and she raised her eyes to her. “Not wanting to scare you but Jinki’s mother wants to have many grandchildren.”

“Aigo...who doesn't want to have grandchildren?!”

Both women started laughing and Lillie watched them glad that the conversation drifted from the question.

“You alright?” Jinki asked in a low voice his fingers finding hers again.

She nodded her cheeks still burning and tried to breathe slowly to calm down once again. She wasn't doing that bad right?! At least they seemed to tolerate her.

“Let's play a drinking game!” One of Jinki’s younger cousins suggested and after being mocked by others saying that he was bad at drinking, Jinki, and some of his cousins joined for the game. Jinha did too, pushing her younger brother down when he tried to run away from it. Apparently, it was a game they often did, with several rules. You weren't supposed to drink the most, simply get the rules right and survive each round of drinking.

“What happens to the one who loses?”

They settled on several punishments, all, extremely childish and silly, but Lillie didn't join or stay to listen or see who won, she got up with the excuse of helping Jinki’s mother and aunt to collect the remaining food like a proper daughter in law should.

After parting the remaining food - Jinki’s mother cooked for a battalion - into separate boxes, some meant to Lillie too which made her happy, she went back to collect the remaining dishes from the table.

The drinking game seemed to have ripped a few defeated players already and everyone was laughing and having a good time. Jinki’s father was with Jinki’s uncles outside talking about something in the garden and his younger cousins were enthusiastically discussing something on tv. She smiled holding the several dirty bowls. It has been such a long time since she spent time like that with a family. Her family back home wasn't as big as that one and even when she came back because of her father she spent all the time at the hospital. Ever since she was little she didn't remember a time where she got to have dinner like that. It felt so warm and once again it was all thanks to Jinki. She didn't want to lose him or that.

A loud groan of frustration caught her attention and she chuckled when she realized Jinki had lost the drinking game. Even though he was acting as if he was upset with his loss he was laughing and his cousins kept poking him and teasing him.

He turned around, over the pillow he was sitting on the floor, and looked at her. Lillie watched him curiously when he stood up pushing his cousin Jinwoo's hand aside when he tried to tickle him.

“I’ll do it, alright?!”

Right, he had to do a punishment. Lillie wondered what it was and blinked her eyes surprised when Jinki walked to her with a playful smile on his lips. He rubbed his cheek embarrassed and the small crowd behind him cheered laughing loudly.

“I'm doing it!”

“God, I want to see this!” Jinha laid down on the floor so she could see the punishment better.

Jinki grabbed the bowls from Lillie’s hands and placed them back on the table “Sorry I have to do this!”

“Oh come on you were dying to do it!” Jinwoo mocked him and Jinki chuckled, his tired eyes shining brightly. He was genuinely happy, maybe even a little tipsy. He was barely able to spend time with his family and tonight not only he was able to be with them but also with her.

“I am, I am!” Jinki admitted in a joking manner and then pulled Lillie’s hand to his lips and kissed it.

She blushed noticing how everyone was looking at them with an amused smile.

“That's not all!” Jinwoo almost sang and Lillie wondered what could be more to that “punishment”. It didn't sound much like a punishment to her, more like a cute way to embarrass Jinki.

Her boyfriend released her hand and then made a heart over his head like he usualy did to shawols which made her heart beat faster as much as it did to them.

“I love you!” He said cutely and everyone cheered behind him. Lillie chuckled covering but it wasn't over yet. “Jagya!” Until that moment nothing seemed to truly embarrass him but that solo word made his ears go red and her heartbeat way faster.

“Did it!” Jinki turned around as if it was nothing, as if he didn't use that sweet term of endearment usually applied between married couples or cheesy couples.

He sat beside his cousins, Jinha hit his head playfully and they made fun of him while he laughed wholeheartedly. Lillie grabbed the bowls again and quickly dashed to the kitchen, trying to calm her heart. It was silly how such a simple cheesy heart made her react like that. The truth was that at that moment when he said it, seeming genuine about it, she pictured that reality, being married to him, calling that family her own.

“Are you alright?” Jinki’s mother asked. She was now alone and Lillie didn't even notice Jinki’s aunt leave the kitchen.

Lillie nodded and helped his mother wash the dishes even though she told her several times that she was a guest and didn't have to. Lillie didn't mind helping, she was too lightheaded and had so many things to think about. More than that, she wanted to duel on that beautiful dream she pictured in her head.

“Is everything alright with you and Jinki?”

Her silence was probably worrying Jinki’s mother and Lillie was quick to deny it but in the end, she decided to open her heart, at least partly.

“We had a small argument yesterday and before we arrived but we made up.”

“Hum.”

Lillie wondered what she was thinking. “We are worried about the future. There is a lot going on.”

“That's good!”

Lillie didn't expect that.

“Couples argue all the time. I don't believe in couples that don't. Worrying about the future together and arguing through your difference and above all, being able to make up, that's important. I think that means you are serious about it, about your relationship.”

“I just don't want to get hurt or…” And above all that “Hurt him.”

“You are worried about going public?”

That was one of the biggest worries in the middle of many. Lillie smiled sadly and nodded.

“When Jinki debuted I spent my day searching news of him online. Most comments were positive but there were so many negative ones. And with time he became more famous and the envy, the evilness of some people online did worry me. I wanted to protect him and I cried so many times worried, feeling like I couldn't do anything to protect my child from these comments. Jinki would always smile and tell me to ignore them and after my husband insisted I stopped searching for news about Jinki. The important things he would always tell me. I decided to protect him in the only way I could, I provided him a place to come to, a safe one where he could just be Jinki, where no one would judge him. In my own way, I'm protecting him, just by loving him. Of course, I worry.” She turned off the tap “But there is nothing I can do. I can't stop people from being mean. I can't wrap him in bubble wrap and hide him from the world. No one is invincible, and we all need to rely on others. So I think we rely on each other.”

Lillie smiled remembering how Jinki used the same words earlier that day with her. They said they would burn together and do things together and he was trying to tell her that it was alright to rely on him because he also relied on her for strength.

Lillie blinked her wet eyes and quickly tried to clean them.

“Oh, I'm sorry.”

“Oh, sweety!” Jinki’s mother caressed her shoulder gently and Lillie felt silly for being so emotional.

“I'm sorry, I didn't intend to cry. I'm silly.”

“No, not at all.” Jinki’s mother pulled her gently to her arms and hugged her. Lillie closed her eyes a little embarrassed but above all thankful. “It's alright. It's alright.” she patted her back gently like only a mother could do and Lillie cried, even more, letting her frustrations from the past few days reveal themselves.

“You must miss your mother a lot don't you?” She pushed away softly and caressed Lillie’s face. Jinki truly got his soft sweet side from his mother, and the ability to give the warmest hugs too. “She is so far away and you probably don't want to trouble her about your problems.” Lillie nodded cleaning her eyes “There are some things we can only confide in our mothers. I know!” Lillie sniffed and Jinki’s mother pulled a paper towel from the kitchen counter and gave it to her “Well you have me now.” Jinki’s mother's words only made Lillie cry more and she sobbed cleaning her eyes “That's what families are for and you are part of this one now. One day you will marry my son and then I will also be your mother. You can start calling me mother already instead of Jinki’s mother.”

“Thank you.” Lillie sniffed unable to say more than that and her new mother patted her back gently.

“Now, now...Jinki will think I'm bullying you if he sees you like this.”

Lillie chuckled cleaning her eyes.

Love was something so precious and powerful and she didn't want to lose that.

Jinki was with his younger cousins when she passed by them, sitting around the tv while they ate snacks. She wasn't sure how they could eat more when she was so full with all the delicious food Jinki’s mother - her new mother cooked. He seemed to be having a good time. She wondered if it was lonely for him growing up since he was an only child, and then when he fell on the role of an older brother when SHINee debuted, it was probably hard on him.

She walked out into the small garden that was now empty. Most of Jinki's family members left already and the house was starting to get silent, still, she wanted to be alone for a while. She sat by the stairs and admired the night sky. It was a bit cloudy so it was almost impossible to see any stars. The street outside the walls was silent and only the cicadas could be heard. She smiled stretching her arms. At first, it was hard for her to get used to them but when she got back to her country she missed that natural symphony at night.

Lillie checked her phone and ignored the missed call of Jimin. She really didn't want to talk with her even though she made her decision already. Instead, she checked Jules's Instagram that was updated with a picture of the tutoring center. She also sent her a text saying to have fun with Jinki, behave, and come to the inauguration party the next Monday since the other girls would go too. Sadly their boyfriends couldn't go.

Lillie wrote an “I won't miss it for anything.” back and sighed deeply putting her phone away on the floor beside her.

She let her eyes wander on the small yet well-treated garden - who took care of it? Jinki’s mother or father? - and then back to the cloudy sky. She sulked because it would be perfect if she could see the stars.

A sudden movement behind her startled her but it was only Jinki who grabbed her phone and sat in the place it was, beside her.

“Aren't you cold?” He asked softly his shoulder and body brushing against hers in a very comforting way.

“No, not really.”

He repeated the same steps she did, looking at the sky and then the garden and then back to her.

“I just talked to my mom. She told me!”

Lillie’s mind didn't click immediately and then she realized what he meant and her head hung lower with embarrassment.

“She must think I'm crazy, near a mental breakdown or something.”

He chuckled moving his shoulder against hers on purpose “She really likes you. She finds you adorable.”

“Adorable? Really?” She raised her eyes to him. How could she find her adorable when she had the most adorable son?! “You are saying that so that I can feel better.”

“No, I swear.” he played with her phone in his hand. “She totally fell for you. Actually, all my family praised you. They like you.”

She bit her lower lip searching his eyes to be sure he was telling the truth and he stared back deeply into hers knowing exactly what she was doing. Lillie giggled and he kissed her cheek.

“You are approved.” He said softly “Not that I had any doubt that you would.”

“What if I wasn't?”

“I guess then we would have to elope!”

She laughed and he placed a hand smoothly around her pulling her to him. It was a sweet, protecting gesture and she let herself be enveloped by his warmth. Maybe she was a little cold after all.

“Earlier tonight when you called me that name my heart beat so fast. It was crazy how you can still do that to me after such a long time dating.” She confessed.

“Hum?” Did he forget? Or maybe he didn't give the same importance she did, maybe to him, it was something natural and that was even sweeter.

“When you had to do the punishment.”

“Ahh…” He smiled embarrassed “You mean when I called you jagya!”

“It's a very corny name and yet I liked it. It made me feel special and yours…”

Jinki frowned remembering their argument from the previous day and the words died in .

“Not as property but in a heart, body, and soul corny kind of way.” She took her phone from his hands trying to take the attention out of what she just said.

“Like a bond between us, an unbreakable bond.” He kissed her head and she looked at him. “We discussed this yesterday.”

“We did and I was an idiot.”

“No, you weren't.”

She sighed and leaned her head against his chest. “You are so romantic sometimes.”

He chuckled proudly and they stayed like that under a cloudy sky that wasn't perfect but was enough for them.

“I'm not going to do it!” She said after a while and Jinki hummed knowing exactly what she meant. “Aren't you surprised?”

“No.” He caressed her shoulder “Along the way you didn't fall in love only with me, you also fell in love with yourself.”

As soon as he said it she realized that he was right. She regained her self-esteem, she started to believe that she deserved to be happy, she wanted to do things for herself, she wanted to have a family, follow her dreams, she wanted to fight for herself. It was all in part because of the love he gave her but it was also because of her own efforts because she had people backing her up, new friends that cared for her. She couldn't risk her well-being not only because the others cared for her, but also because she cared for herself.

“Am I selfish? For wanting to prioritize me?”

“No, not at all. There are other ways we can try to help without crazy plans that might hurt you again. You healed Lillie and I'm so proud of you.”

She turned and hugged him burying her face on his chest. She wasn't sure she healed completely, she still feared Alex, she still thought about what he did to her and sometimes she got anxious around other men, but she didn't want to be a victim anymore.

“We should go to sleep. I'll accompany you to my bedroom.” He did tell her before that she would sleep in his bedroom and he would sleep in the living room with Jinwoo and one of his younger cousins.

“That's not comfortable.”

“It's fine, trust me.” He pulled her by her chin to face him and didn't say anything even though he noticed her wet eyes. Instead, he kissed her lips softly and closed his eyes inhaling her scent. He was proud that he was able to make her fall in love with him but he was even more proud to see the change his love helped make on her. He didn't lie when he told her that someday she would be like a beautiful flower and he wanted to believe that his love was like water gracing her petals and allowing her to not be afraid to be herself again.

“You taste like alcohol.” She complained but kissed him again and he smelled his breath after.

“Really? I didn't drink that much though. I'm fine!”

“All drunk people say that!”

“I'm not drunk!” He defended himself and she laughed wrapping her arms around his neck. It was a little dangerous to act so lovey-dovey at his parent's house when someone could walk upon them but she felt so happy.

“I know! You wouldn't be able to say the most beautiful things if you were.”

He caressed her check “Next time you should play with us.”

“I’ll lose.”

“Then you get punished!” His y tone made her laugh again and she nodded her head wanting very much to be punished by him. “You will have to call me jagya!”

That wasn't what she expected and he knew, both giggling, exchanging small tender kisses.

Lillie fluttered her eyes and he bit his lower lip the grin leaving his face. She was looking at him with so much love that if he could he would have grabbed her in his arms and taken her to his bed to make love. She kissed his cheek, her lips lingering there, and then softly the words left her lips.

“Jagya…” She tried to be serious but could barely contain her embarrassment so she had to look down to control herself.

“Oh, that was easy!” He mumbled pulling her closer to him again.

“I'm so in love with you that I think I would say yes to anything you ask me right now!”

“Bad luck I can't have with you tonight!” He joked and she ran a hand on his hair knowing he loved it.

“What would you ask?”

“Nothing we didn't do already, honestly.” He grabbed her naughty hand and kissed her wrist. “Maybe only...to marry me!”

“I already said yes before!” She mumbled her heart beating faster. She chuckled awkwardly but he didn't laugh. “Jinki you don't mean for like...real?!”

He smiled beautifully and if there was any doubt inside her that it was madness to say yes to a proposal like that at that moment in their lives it went out of the window.

“No, I don't, but all that talking about it while we were having dinner…” He pursed his lips together “You hurt my feelings for a moment there when you said you didn't want to marry.”

“You know what I meant.”

“I do. You have to take care of that permanent residency visa.” His fingers intertwined with hers and she melted with the gesture “Because I can't marry you just yet and you are not escaping me. I won't let it. Not anymore…”

“Even if they try to send me back I will stay, like a clandestine immigrant.”

He grinned “You can hide in my basement.”

“You have one?”

“I'm sure I can manage to buy one!”

She giggled and he pulled her to another kiss.

Jinki the light of his bedroom and while he closed the window Lillie looked around his bedroom. It was everything as she remembered from when she visited last time. It wasn't a surprise since he didn't stay there often.

“Are you sure you don't want to sleep here? I can sleep in the living room.”

“With my cousins? Not a good idea, you won't be comfortable and you are a woman. You have more privacy here. ” He turned around and checked the bed next “You have two pillows.” He knew she liked to hug a pillow to sleep, a habit she acquired after starting dating him and because of him, because of hugging him to sleep. Did he even realize that?!

He turned around and took a deep breath and she couldn't help but notice his chest. She preferred to use him as a pillow much more.

“If you need anything you can call me.”

“I'm not a kid.”

“I know but you might get scared in an unfamiliar place.” He rubbed the back of his neck adorably. “If you are thirsty or hungry during the night you can go to the kitchen. Oh, and the bathroom is down the hallway and…”

“I know where it is. I've been there before.”

“Right!”

“And Jinki this isn't an unfamiliar place. Not anymore.” She smiled at him “I feel very safe here.”

He rubbed her arms tenderly “That's good.” He leaned forward and planted a sweet kiss on her lips. “Sleep well and if you are bored you can go through my stuff, it's fine.”

She chuckled “Like a fangirl?”

“Like a girlfriend deeply in love with her boyfriend that wants to know more about him.”

“Or a stalker….”

He rubbed her head and walked slowly to the door as if he didn't truly want to leave. She didn't want him to.

“Sleep well.”

“Sleep well…” She wished back and he closed the door, his smile was the last thing she saw before he did it.

Lillie the light on the lamp beside his bed and then turned off the ceiling one. She once again checked all the pictures on the wall, memories of SHINee behind the scenes - sweet pictures of a group of friends more than a group of singers - and then sat over his bed. All the soft toys he collected from his fans that used to be on it were on the floor now on one side of the bed and she leaned over it to grab a big Doraemon one. She hugged it against her chest and stared at nothing enjoying the silence that fell over the house.

That was a very long day and even though her eyes hurt from all the crying she felt way better than in the morning.

That room was filled with memories of Jinki and wasn't much different from her bedroom back at home. It was filled with love not only from his fans and friends but also from his family. How could Jinki even think she would be scared there?!

She placed the Doraemon soft toy under the covers only with his head over the pillow, as if he was a little kid, and then ped her bag and changed into her pajamas. She peeked outside and as silently as she could, she went to the bathroom to wash. She didn't meet anyone on her way back and got ready to go to bed. Lillie laid beside the soft toy and placed a hand over it to hug him as if it was Jinki.

The scent of the clean sheets and the softness of her bed companion made her relax and soon she was asleep.

Lillie rolled on the bed and her fingers moved over the sheet trying to grasp something to help her. In her dream Alex has just entered her bedroom catching her vulnerable in her pajamas reading a book, laying over her bed while a familiar SHINee song played.

She closed the book, suddenly dry, a knot at the pit of her stomach paralyzed her.

He smiled, the gesture that at first seemed so sweet and kind and now terrified her. She blamed herself for falling for it, for always being attracted to men with beautiful smiles. That was why she fell for Onew’s, her idol too.

Alex greeted her in a loud voice so it could be heard downstairs by her parents oblivious to the abuse she suffered now almost daily. They could hear his melodious voice but they couldn't see the way he closed the door behind him and sat on the bed joining her.

Lately, he was becoming pushier in getting physical with her so she avoided being alone with him longer. Lillie knew that sooner or later he would force himself on her, that he would her, but for him, it wasn't since he was her boyfriend after all. For now, he would be satisfied with only kissing her, with only groping her over clothes but that wouldn't last long and Lillie cried every night fearing the moment he would decide it was time to do more.

She watched him moving closer and she backed away slightly on the bed collecting her legs to her trying not to be too obvious about it because if she was he would hurt her. Last time she tried to move away from him he yanked her by her hair closer to him, he made her sit on his lap and she had to endure his caresses, his hot breathing on her nape.

It disgusted her. She felt like throwing up every time he touched her and at the time she thought it was like that with every man. She thought she was defective that it was her fault that she couldn't love him and somehow she deserved the abuse.

It started to change one day when at work a coworker was watching a Korean drama. Lillie started watching it too and soon she was addicted to them and it became a way to escape from the abuse she suffered. Then in one of them, there was a song sang by SHINee and she entered the world of K-pop. Eventually, South Korea became a place that she wanted to travel to, a place that seemed so different from her own country, so far away from Alex and the pain and fear.

He found out about her plans to escape from reality and Alex end up destroying her albums, trying to break any possible flicker of strength she could get to escape him.

That was a dream, Lillie realized in the middle of it, her eyes set on Alex that was watching her curiously. She was no longer in her bedroom, nor he was her boyfriend. She was in South Korea with Jinki, she did it, she escaped him. Her boyfriend was right, she won, she no longer believed that she didn't deserve to be happy, she now knew what she wanted and she loved herself. She didn't live with fear, not anymore, Alex wouldn't scare her anymore, she would fight it even in her dreams.

Controlling herself in the dream, Lillie stood up from the bed. The nightmarish Alex watched her seeming as surprised as she was from being able to control that dream that haunted her for years. She hesitated, a fearing thought crossing her mind. What if he tried to follow her or grab her?! She eyed the lamp on her desk. If she reached for it she could even try to kill him but what for?! He meant nothing to her now, she could simply walk away from him, from it. Behind the door of her bedroom was real life, was Jinki and the ones who loved her. No, Alex wouldn't grab her.

Lillie took a deep breath, turned her back on Alex, and opened the door.

She opened her eyes and sat slowly on the bed, fumbling to reach the lamp that she , bathing a part of Jinki’s bedroom in light. She checked her phone and touched her sweaty neck. It was only 4 am and her heart was beating so fast that she wouldn't be able to sleep, besides she was thirsty and she wanted to check on Jinki. It made her feel stronger to see him.

Lillie got up from the bed and grabbed her coat putting it on. It would be embarrassing to be seen walking in her pajamas around the house of his parents.

In the kitchen, she drank a glass of water and allowed herself to calm down before she entered the living room as silently as she could.

Jinki’s cousin was snoring over the couch but Jinki’s improvised bed on the floor beside his younger cousin that was sleeping was empty.

If he wasn't in his bed then where was he?!

Lillie peeked outside the window and spotted him at the place they were before trying to see the stars. He was there alone yawning and rubbing his tired eyes only wearing a tank top and boxers. He would freeze if he stayed like that for long and she grabbed one folded blanket from the living room and hurried to join him.

“You can't sleep?” She whispered sitting beside him. He didn't seem that surprised to see her and Lillie pulled the blanket over both covering them.

“Jiwon snores a lot.”

She chuckled nodding her head “yeah I just had the pleasure of hearing it. I'm sorry! You are so tired.” She caressed his head and ran her fingers through his hair. She loved doing it and how he never questioned the gesture, how it became familiar between them.

“It's alright. I can see the stars now. The sky is clearer.”

She didn't follow his gaze up to the stars. All she wanted to see was there, in him.

Jinki’s Adam's apple moved fascinating her, and when he noticed her intense  gaze, Jinki studied her “Why aren't you sleeping?”

“I dreamed of Alex.”

“Oh…” He surely noticed how she said his name as if it was nothing “It's been a while.”

“But this time I wasn't as scared as usual. I actually got up and left him. I controlled it.” Her fingers caressed his nape running patterns on his hair. “I guess he can't scare me anymore, not even in my dreams. I can fight him!”

He grabbed her hand and squeezed it “Good job!” She smiled brightly at him and he raised his arm so that she could nestle against his chest. She did more than that climbing on his lap and wrapping her arms around his neck. He smelled so good, clean, and safe like home and she wished she could take him to her bed and hug him to sleep.

“Did you sleep anything at all?”

“No.” He frowned cutely, wrinkling his nose adorably.

Lillie kissed his lips and caressed them after tenderly. He looked exhausted and he was going to work the next day again. “Come sleep beside me.”

“My parents…” He reminded her.

“No, not in that way, not in the same bed. I have an idea.”

He studied her for a while and she feared that he would say no but he leaned his forehead against hers, tiredness defeating him.

“Alright.”

It was morning already and soon the house would be filled with noise again. Jinki’s mother didn't mind. Usually, the house would be very quiet. She only had one son and besides loving to sing he was most of the time quiet as a mouse. And when he grew up he left to be a singer and then the house became even more silent. When he rarely visited, family and friends would come to see him so she learned to associate the noise with his visits.

She patted her husband’s back when she passed by him to the bathroom but she never entered it, instead, her eyes fell on the open door of Jinki’s bedroom. The light was entering through the curtains but the room lacked life. Could Lillie, her son’s girlfriend, be up already?

She peeked inside the room and covered , the discovery of what she saw in the room was adorable.

Lillie was sleeping on her son’s bed, her head falling from her pillow and almost pending from the mattress, her arm stretched so that her hand was on the floor over an improvised bed with blankets. Jinki was sleeping there looking like a cute mummified bunny, blankets wrapped around his body, his hand holding hers.

They probably left the door open on purpose and slept separated so that they wouldn't think badly of them. Jinki’s mother watched them a little longer and then walked away closing the door behind her.

Lillie stirred in her sleep and saw the door close from the corner of her eyes. She tried to pull her hand to clean but it was safely protected between Jinki’s and she gave up on doing it.

Instead, she rubbed on her pillow ungracefully and took a deep breath admiring his sleeping face.

She wasn't sure how long she admired him before he moved rolling to stay with his tummy up, his hand pulling hers to his chest that raised only to fall again a few times.

“Morning.” he mumbled with a cute sleepy voice and she answered back squeezing his hand.

“We slept holding hands!” She pointed out.

He smiled with his eyes closed, his hair a wild cute mess. She wanted to touch it so badly. “We did talk a lot last night.”

“I'm sorry.” It was all her fault. The dream left her wide awake and she couldn't stop asking questions even though he could barely open his eyes. “You were supposed to rest and I was only annoying you.”

“You weren't. We had pretty interesting existential questions yesterday.”

She laughed remembering their existential questions. What was the event in his life that changed his life the most? Joining SHINee. What’s the best compliment that he received? You make me happy. What was the last embarrassing thing that happened to you? Surprisingly he couldn't remember.

For her, the answers were the same, meeting SHINee, how she made him happy, minus for the last one. She was pretty embarrassed during dinner acting like a fool and yet he never seemed to be embarrassed about anything. She asked him that and he told her some funny stories that she barely remembered because eventually, they fell asleep.

“I really liked it. I’m really happy.”

“We don't have much time lately to have conversations like this.” He remarked.

“Not only the conversations.” He his side to look at her “Everything. I was scared of meeting your family but I liked it.”

He smiled cutely and she pulled her hand away to her chest.

“I want to be happy!”

“I want to be happy too! That's why we need to be together. We make each other happy!”

His answer from the previous night and hers came down to that.

Lillie nodded and he sat up over the blankets and planted an innocent kiss on her lips.

“Better get up to help with breakfast. I feel so energized!” He turned to the door and blinked his eyes “Didn't we leave it open?”

It was early morning and yet he was coming back from the gym already. It became almost like a routine for Minho. When he was exercising he wouldn't think about anything else and he loved to push to the limits, the sweaty and yet sweet taste of victory after challenging himself. Some didn't understand that side of him and why he always had to do better and prove that he could do it mostly to himself but ever since he was younger he lived like that. Maybe it was the way that he used to defeat his insecurities of being the son of a famous person, of being the younger brother of an extraordinaire kid, and excel in some way.

When people looked at him they saw a handsome, very hard-working man with a good heart, someone that didn't lack confidence and seemed to be good at everything. That wasn't true. You could say that he lived so fast, kept himself so busy that he rarely had time to stop and duel on his weaknesses, on thinking things over and over.

However lately he was failing. Choi Minho that never loses was near being defeated and all because of a woman.

That was new to him, yes with Eun Ha he lost control, he went against his better judgment and broke the rules. He hardly breaks the rules. If he was winning it had to be fair and square. But those were company rules, business rules and didn't involve something that was far above work - family.

He never got tired of saying that the SHINee members were part of his family and it was true, they were his brothers so why was he playing with fire, risking his friendship with one of them?!

Minho groaned resting his head against the wheel of his car that he parked near Jonghyun's house. He knew he shouldn't do that and yet he did it.

It wasn't as if he wanted to meet her, he just wanted to see her. He knew her for years now, as many as he knew Jonghyun and she was only the noona that would come to the dinners organized by the SHINee parents, the noona that came to the concerts, the noona that Jonghyun wouldn't get tired of praising. She was supposed to be only a noona and until very recently that was what she was. He never saw her as a woman and he didn't dare to since Jonghyun was very clear about it since the start, half-joking half being serious saying she was off-limits. Besides he did say a couple of times that he didn't want his sister dating a SHINee member and Minho was the one at the end of the list for whatever reason. While Jinki got the top spot, information that sometimes they used to tease Jonghyun, even Jinki and his sister about it. Minho never , it never bothered him when Jonghyun ranked him as the least possible candidate to date her but now it did and a lot.

He wondered why he was unworthy of her. Clearly, Jonghyun admired him and praised him, and yet he wasn't good enough, why? Asking him was risky though because now he couldn't help but stutter like an idiot when she was the topic.

Minho raised his head and looked up the street. Sodam would have to go to work soon and she always used that street to go to the subway station. And of course, there she was but this time she wasn't wearing the elegant formal attire she used to work, she was wearing black sweatpants and a big green sweater that made her look super cute, her hair tied up on a loose ponytail. Roo was trailing in front of her, her familiar SHINee-colored leash in the hand of her owner.

Minho sighed and mentally kicked himself because his heart fluttered even though she was looking far away from the dream girl he often described in interviews. Screw the innocent girl next door with long hair and pouty lips, he was attracted to one of his best friends' older sister.

Minho bit his lower lip and before he gave a second thought he left the car and walked to her.

He went to the gym and was passing by and saw her, decided to greet her and that was it. Nothing special, or illegal or that broke any rule in any way. It wouldn't offend Jonghyun, right?

Sodam was distracted, following Roo’s random walking route, and only noticed his presence when he crossed the dogs' path. Roo jumped to greet him and he petted the dog while peeking at Sodam that smiled when she saw him, greeting him politely but with that spark of familiarity you win after years of contact.

“You came to see Jonghyun?” she asked and Minho realized how weird that might have seemed since he saw the man almost everyday “He isn't home though. Left early to go to the studio.”

Of course, he would. His friend didn't know when to stop, he was a perfectionist and workaholic and he knew through him that Sodam was always scolding him because of it.

“I didn't come to see him.” What would she say if he told her the truth, that she was the one he wanted to see?! “I was working out and passing by and then I saw you and…” The words died on his lips “I decided to greet you.”

“You are the sweetest aren't you?” She remarked like a noona praising her younger brother and yet the words had a different impact on him. “Want to come for a walk with me?”

The suggestion was very tempting but he knew it wasn't the wisest. “I….” He gestured at his clothing “People might recognize me and bother us.”

Sodam reached out to his sweater and Minho held in a breath watching her every move. She pulled the hood of his sweater up and covered his head. “Done. Now you are just a random dude.” She giggled satisfied with her actions and he smiled weakly back, wishing deep in his heart for the first time that he was indeed a random dude.

With no other excuse and wanting to be ordinary for a change, he walked beside Sodam following a happy Roo that wouldn't stop waving her tail.

“Do you feel weird around me?” Sodam asked making Minho pale. “I mean, we know each other for years now and we did talk before but now it seems different.”

So she noticed it too?! Minho didn't know what to say and they walked in silence for a while until Roo stopped smelling an interesting-looking tuft of grass.

“We have a different relationship now.” Sodam added and Minho stared into her eyes trying to decipher what she meant as a different relationship. Did she mean what he thought she meant, was he seeing too much into it, was he trying to see too much into it?!

“We do.” He agreed, giving a safe answer.

“Yes, we are friends now.” She said warmly patting his shoulder as if skinship meant nothing. Minho frowned looking at Roo so that she wouldn't notice the disappointment in his eyes. What was he expecting after all “Aren't we?” She asked and he raised his eyes to her immediately.

“Yes, for sure. We are friends.” Friendzoned, that was the way people nowadays called it. Choi Minho was friend-zoned. That was a major defeat.

Sodam seemed happy though so he sighed in resignation. It was way better that way.

“I don't have many male friends. Actually, people believe that's impossible. I mean for a woman and a man to be friends. My brother believes it's possible and I think it is too but usually when I befriend a man they end up wanting to date me. It seems like I'm bragging but I swear I'm not.”

Minho couldn't blame them. Her eyes were so bright and pretty, her hair looked so soft and he wanted to run his fingers through it, her laughter was warm and when she smiled he couldn't help but smile with her. She was also exceptionally smart and interesting and he truly enjoyed spending time with her.

“I'm glad I have you as a friend. It's good to have a male point of view when it comes to dating. I talk with Jonghyun but he is my brother, it's different…”

Minho’s heart sank to his feet. Friendzoned and relationship adviser.

“Yes well, you can count on me from now on.” He pointed at his car when Roo started to pull on her leash. “I should get back. I remembered I need to prepare for a schedule.”

“Oh right, you must be busy. I’ll text you!”

Minho nodded and after a last glance in her direction, he left walking as fast as he could to his car as if he was late for something when in reality he was trying hard to run away from his silly feelings instead.

A crush on a noona who didn't even see him as a man. How poetic was that?! And he made fun of Jinki when he fell for Lillie, mimicking their debut song. He was worse than him. At least Jinki was allowed to have those feelings. At least she liked him back.

Lillie sipped her cocktail happily eyeing the other guests of Jules’s learning center inauguration party. A banner with the words “Juliette’s Language Academy” in gold letters was hanging from the ceiling over a table filled with food.

“Did you know that she was called Juliette?” Do Joon asked.

“Yes, I didn't know she would use it for the name though. She seemed to hate it.”

“I wonder what changed her mind about it.” He took the glass he was holding to his lips.

“Love.” Lillie answered remembering how Jules once told her how much Kibum used to with the name. Even though she was acting as if it bothered her she probably warmed up to it.

“Love changes many things!” Do Joon said solemnly and Lillie stared at him “Don't look at me like that Lillie. I’m not going to fall into that trap...ever!”

And yet he was dating Rin’s sister. Lillie wondered if she knew about that decision of him and if she did if she was alright with it.

“Jinho looks so different when he is with his girlfriend.” Do Joon pointed out and Lillie followed his gaze. Jinho’s girlfriend, a slightly chubby girl with big brown eyes was laughing beside him at something he said, her smile as bright as the cute pin she was wearing on her caught hair. “She does resemble someone I know.”

“Does she? She is cute!”

“You think so?” Do Joon asked amused.

“Yes, why?”

“She is the closest korean version he could find of you.”

Lillie blinked her eyes not expecting that remark from Do Joon and looked at the girl again. “No, no it can't be.” They didn't have much in common. Yes, she had a similar body shape to hers, she was shorter though and maybe a little chubbier than how she was now but her hair and smile and even her eyes did resemble her a little. “No, he couldn't…”

“He doesn't like you anymore but it's hard to forget a first love.”

Was it?! Her first love was Jinki and she refused to forget him, she didn't have to anyway so she had no idea if that was true. Jinki forgot his first love though, didn't he?!

“This place end up really nice!” Do Joon proudly remarked and Lillie nodded.

“Why did you decide to help anyway? I mean you are an architect, this is not exactly your area of business…”

“Well I had the money to invest in it and my cousin was in too. I’m helping him and your friend will do a good job and eventually I'll get all the money I invested and more.”

“Hum.”

“Also I know I can trust her. I know she isn't in this only for the money, she is doing this because she truly loves it. She doesn't need the money anyway.”

“What are you talking about?!” Lillie chuckled “Of course, she needs the money.”

“Well she has...you know...she is well in life.”

“What do you mean?”

Do Joon stared at Lillie wondering why she was acting as if she didn't know but she truly seemed genuine about her confusion.

“I thought you knew about Jules's financial condition.” Lillie blinked her eyes wondering what he meant “I mean, how do you think that she owns that apartment where you live in?”

“She owns it?” Lillie asked incredulously.

“Yes, she thought about leaving it when you left but apparently she finished paying it recently and you came back so... I heard you don't pay much for rent also.”

“But how was she able to afford it. Isn't it expensive?!” Lillie asked confused and Do Joon wondered if he didn't make a mistake telling her about that.

“It’s an expensive area yes. Well, her parents seem to have money. I've heard that they have a big business in France. Maybe she asked them for money? Maybe she had it all along.”

Lillie’s eyes moved on the crowd and ended on Jules that was talking with one of the guests, filled with a mix of incredulity and hurt.

“She never told me, since the beginning I'm paying almost nothing for that room.”

“I guess she wanted to help you and you end up becoming friends. Besides it's not like she needed the money.”

Lillie bit her lower lip and looked down. She was so stupid, so naive. It was true what Jinki said, that sometimes she was too innocent for her own good. How couldn't she have seen that before?! The apartment, too good for a simple English/French teacher in Korea, the expensive clothes, the new car she got...

Lillie couldn't remember the last time Jules ever complained about money. Now that she truly thought about it she couldn't remember Jules ever complaining about her rent being delayed. Lillie was an idiot!

“I'm so stupid!”

Do Joon raised his eyebrows “Oh no, you just don't notice that kind of thing. That's why you are so pure. You only see what matters. You saw that Jules was a good person and you trusted her. You never cared about money.”

“I'm an idiot!” Lillie covered her face embarrassed and Do Joon sighed drinking from his glass again.

“Are you upset with her?”

“No!” her mind was filled with all the moments she fussed about money and Jules offered to lend it to her. She was so blind. “I wished she told me though. I feel a bit betrayed.” All that time Jules went easy on her, not rising her rent and even helping with the living expenses. She was almost living for free at her place and she hated it.

“Don't think too much about it. That's your worse flaw.” Do Joon pointed out “Worse than being naive you overthink things too much.”

“I'm so upset with myself!” Lillie stared at the glass in her hand “All this time I thought I was getting somewhere and I'm almost living for free at my friend's house. I’ve achieved nothing since I arrived in South Korea.”

“Well you are marrying a rich guy and your best friend is rich too.”

Lillie sent him an incredulous look and Do Joon laughed.

“I'm joking! As I said you don't care about that stuff, you didn't even notice it.”

There were so many things Lillie failed to notice, so many things to learn about the people she loved, and even about herself.

“Have you always wanted to be an architect?”

Do Joon was glad that she changed subjects “Ever since I built my first tower of baby blocks.” Lillie chuckled “Actually I wanted to be an explorer but there weren't many job opportunities available.”

“You would fit it though, Do Jones….”

“Indiana Joon?” They both laughed “Well life can lead you to different paths from the one you were hoping for. I'm happy now as an architect. I'm sure your boyfriend also didn't want to be a singer at first.”

“Actually if he wasn't a singer he would want to be an architect or a scientist.”

“Nice. We could be coworkers. Share professions and not only our beautiful smile and charm!” Do Joon blinked one eye at her and Lillie groaned drinking her cocktail. “What about you? What did you want to be?”

Lillie pondered for a while. She never truly had a dream of what she wanted to do, but there was something she liked when she was younger and seemed too far away to achieve “Maybe drawing comics or designing things.”

Even now the idea seemed kind of impossible and she laughed it off.

“Why are you laughing? It sounds interesting and I can see you doing it.”

“Really? I don't think I'll ever be able to do it.”

“Why?”

“My drawings aren't that good and I'm not sure if now is the right time.”

He sensed her uneasiness and how her insecure self was winning that battle.

“You can learn.”

“I'm serious about this!”

“I can see that so what is stopping you?”

“Well right now I don't have the money and if I fail...all eyes will be on me...I'm not only Lillie soon I'll be…”

“An idol's girlfriend!”

She nodded and Do Joon grinned “You know that he doesn't care about what you do as long as you are happy, right? I'm sure that if you tell him that you want to go draw comics he will be the first one to tell you to go ahead.” Lillie pressed her lips “I've only known the guy for half a year now but I can see how much he cares about you so don't use your relationship with him as something to stop you from fighting for what you want.”

She looked away embarrassed wondering if he was right. Was she scared of it? Scared of failing and becoming the failure Alex saw in her? Maybe there are some wounds that never go away even if we have healed.

“Now or when you feel ready. You have time, give yourself time to breathe. Enjoy the present. Your friend is doing well, your boyfriend is going to tell everyone that he loves you and reveal your relationship and you have the best boss ever that won't mind helping you even if you are thinking of ditching him to the world of comics! I think you are doing pretty well right now!”

Lillie looked at Do Joon that smiled friendly at her. He was right.

“Indiana Joon will feature in my first comic!” She announced making him laugh.

“It will be an honor!”

“So you aren't doing it?” Jimin asked sitting in front of Lillie.

She called her several times that afternoon and after work, Lillie passed by the company to talk with Jimin and give her decision personally and visit Mei and the other trainees she befriended during her short time there.

It wasn't as hard as Lillie thought it would be and Jimin seemed to be accepting it really well.

“I talked it through with my boyfriend and maybe we can do something else less risky.”

“ I see.” Jimin studied Lillie’s face making her a little uncomfortable, maybe she was wrong assuming she was ok with her decision. She knew what she was thinking - that she was selfish and was hiding behind Jinki’s position inside the company.

“I want to help, just not this way.” Lillie insisted but Jimin didn't say anything, instead her expression was saying it all for her.

Mei entered the room then and Lillie stood up to greet her but her warm greetings died on her lips when she saw her face.

“What happened?” Jimin asked closing the door behind Mei that slumped on the seat beside Lillie, used by trainees every day during one of their lectures or examinations.

“I think it's my fault.” Mei sniffed, tears falling down her cheeks.

“What was?” Lillie asked grabbing her hand “Did you do poorly in your examination?”

“Manager Kim called me and he said he could help me with my singing. He said he was going to find a vocal coach for me but in exchange, he wanted my help.” Lillie paled and her gaze met with Jimin’s. They knew where that was going “I thought he meant helping with other trainees or something but...he touched me.” Mei’s eyes darted from Lillie to Jimin “I freaked out and he said it was alright...but it doesn't feel alright at all.”

“That bastard!” Jimin cursed and Lillie pulled Mei to a hug.

“It's not your fault!” She knew what she was going through, wondering if somehow she drove him to do that to her. “It's not your fault! It's all his!” Lillie pulled away “He is a very mean person. He also tried to abuse me.”

“He did?” Mei bit her lower lip sniffing.

“Yes. He offered to help my boyfriend if I slept with him.”

“I'm scared!” Mei mumbled “I don't want to see him again. I don't want Seo-Joon to know.”

Lillie’s eyes filled with tears and she caressed Mei’s hair. She knew that so well, that dirty feeling, not wanting to tell the one we loved about how unfit for them we felt after the abuse. “He will understand. He loves you and you don't need to be scared. We will protect you!”

“How?” Mei asked tears falling from her eyes “What can we simple trainees do against him?”

Lillie could feel Jimin’s burning gaze on her “Yes, what can we do?”

Her unsettling words made Lillie feel guiltier. He was hurting her friend, someone she loved and she couldn't allow it. She couldn't let someone else get through the pain, abuse, and fear she went through before.

She could do something, they could use their plan and prove once and for all that that man was a criminal and protect Mei from him but...Jinki asked her not to do it.

Maybe if they took a different approach, maybe if she accepted his help and stopped doing things alone, maybe then it would work out. Jinki probably would still get mad at her but if she jumped and found a way to land safely then he would accept it.

“Alright. I'm doing it but I have conditions!”

Mei hiccuped looking at Lillie confused.

“Tell me!” Jimin crossed her arms over her chest.

“First we ask my boyfriend for help!”

“Your boyfriend? What are you two talking about? How can he help? Is he from the police?” Mei asked staring at Lillie that sighed and grabbed her hand in hers again.

“You have no idea!” Jimin chuckled.

“I have something important to tell you about who I am and who is my boyfriend but you need to promise you won't tell anyone!” “Lillie ignored Jimin’s remark.

Mei blinked her eyes and Lillie took a deep breath. Soon everyone would find out anyway, and they needed her help if they wanted to make that stupid plan work. If she was going to protect the ones she loved maybe she needed to start being honest and depending on them.

“Actually, my boyfriend...well…you know him.” Lillie smiled remembering how good it felt when he called her his girlfriend for the first time. It would feel good to be able to tell everyone that he was her boyfriend. She needed to get used to it. “His name is Lee Jinki.”

Mei’s expression didn't change and Lillie frowned using the other name her boyfriend was known for, the one that made him famous.

“My boyfriend is Onew!”

I should be over all the butterflies but I'm into you, I'm into you

And even baby our worst nights

I'm into you, I'm into you

Let 'em wonder how we got this far,

'Cause I don't really need to wonder at all

Yeah, after all this time

I'm still into you

First of all I'm so sorry for any possible mistake in this chapter - if you notice any please let me know in the comments. I had many problems with the website that I usually use to help me correct grammar and typos. It was randomly adding words in other sentences and annoyed me to hell. Even while I was pasting the chapter in the editor it was giving me mistakes....so annoying.