Punch! Knockdown!

I’ve passed out because of your love

No, no, I think I’m drunk on your love

I think I’m drunk on your love

SHINee - Punch Drunk Love

Lillie moved her fingers to her lips and chewed on her nail, a habit she acquired when she was dating Alex and lost along the time ever since she arrived in South Korea. She watched as Jinki seemed to be calmly talking with her boss, how both of them weren't even looking her way even though she was the topic of the conversation. She lowered her hand from her lips and bit the inside of her cheek instead. They were talking for a while now, Jinki with his back to her but Dojoon moved giving her a better view of his lips. Lillie was awful at lip-reading though so even if she tried to decipher what he was saying she would fail miserably.

Jinki shifted his feet and Dojoon’s eyes moved to her, making her straighten on her seat. He waved at her with a soft smile and then turned and entered the restaurant again. She chewed on her lip watching Jinki walk to the car and waited for him to sit by her side and close the car’s door before staring at him waiting for answers.

“So?” She asked. Jinki pulled the seatbelt and fastened it with a very calm expression as if absolutely nothing happened which infuriated her a little.

He finally graced her with his attention “I asked him about his intentions towards you and then told him that you are my girlfriend and I would punch him if he asks you to pretend to be his again.”

“Oh.” The fact Jinki threatened him and still sounded as if he was only talking about the weather made him sound even more dangerous.

“He saw my point of view and said he would tell his mother that you two broke up.”

“I-I see.” She didn't know what to say.

“Also he has no intention of pursuing you even though he is attracted to you.” He clenched his jaw “I told you he was!”

“Really?” She thought he only liked to .

Jinki studied her expression and she shook her hands in the air “I really don't want him to be attracted to me!”

Jinki chuckled and ran a hand through his hair “Anyway he won't make a move on you. He says he likes you as a friend only and won't screw it up by sleeping with you.”

“That's true, he was the one who pushed me away when I tried…” her voice faded when Jinki stared at her. He really didn't want to be reminded of it for sure.

“Also I think his mother knows the truth already.”

Lillie blinked her eyes surprised “What? Why?”

Jinki the seat to face her and pressed his fingers to her neck running them up to her jaw in a familiar intimate way that made her hold her breath. Possessiveness shined on his expression and she melted completely.

“She saw the way I looked at you and the way you look back at me. Even an idiot can see that we are in love.”

His words inflamed her heart and she couldn't help but feel her cheeks heat up. “Probably…”

“I had to control myself.” He confessed rubbing his thumb on her chin under her lower lip “When he held your hand I wanted to pull you away and kiss you in front of his mother and him.”

“Good you didn't do that.” She swallowed hard and he ran his thumb over her lower lip.

“Anyway, problem solved.”

He started the car and drove away from the parking lot. She watched him, still feeling the warm touch of his fingers on the places he touched. He should have kissed her, not in the restaurant but now after confessing that.

“Would you really punch him?” He did it before and he also kicked and punched Alex but still, she wasn't sure Jinki could hurt a fly if it wasn't in an extreme situation.

“Maybe. He pisses me off a lot.”

She laughed “No you wouldn't.”

“You have no idea what I can do for you.” His words made her smile fade and she knew what he meant. For Jinki, to protect him, she decided to kill Alex or give herself back to him. She knew what he meant. For love, you are capable of doing things you never ever imagined.

“I do have an idea.”

His eyes moved from the road to her and she kissed his cheek.

“You won't have to though.”

“Good because I really don't want to do it.”

“No more guys hitting on me now.”

He released a big sigh of relief and she laughed finding him adorable. He cracked a small smile too and she played with the seatbelt as relieved as he was.

Hopefully, now they could have some time off from trouble and enjoy the fact that they were openly dating. The couple of the moment, they were called on some news sites. Min sent her a link to the article and Lillie screen captured it to keep it as a memento of that special moment she was living.

Who would have thought that that ugly, sad insecure girl that landed in South Korea, the one that thought that she would never fall in love ever was now part of the couple of the moment. Life had a way to surprise you.

“That of your boss…” Jinki didn't seem to like to use his name and Lillie chuckled “Said that he got closer to you because he was curious about us.”

He did tell her that before a couple times also.

“He has never been in love. He says our story is like a romance novel and he wants to see its happy ending.”

Jinki grinned and she giggled knowing how cringy and yet sweet that sounded.

“Well, I tolerate him now since he seems to care for you in a friendly way. So...I hope he is around to see the happy ending.”

“Really?” That was good news, Jinki was accepting Doojoon in her life.

“Yes. You're not the only one growing up in this relationship.”

“I really love you.” She confessed placing her hand over his in his lap and he turned his palm up so that she could slide her fingers in the middle of his.

“We are lucky.” He recognized and she knew exactly what he meant. Finding someone that cared enough to stick around and know you, to stay even when you are at your worst, to accept your shortcomings was a one in a lifetime chance. That was why she thought she would never be blessed with that. Many times she felt as if she was watching her life go by, that she had no control over it and that she was only surviving but now she was truly living it.

“We are. I hope he finds someone to love too. He isn't a bad guy.”

“Isn't he in a relationship with Rin’s sister?” Jinki asked, narrowing his eyes “Jonghyun often complains about it.”

Lillie hummed. She wasn't sure what Dojoon had with her was truly a relationship.

“Actually he dated Sodam for a while too.”

“Ouch.” Jinki mumbled “No wonder Jonghyun hates him too.”

“You don't hate him anymore.”

“I said I tolerate him.” Jinki clarified raising one eyebrow cutely “I didn't say I love the guy.”

She laughed “Well I think its only , not a real relationship.”

“That doesn't sound better.”

Jinki’s phone started ringing and he released her hand and pulled it out from his coat pocket. “Its him. We are late.”

K.Will was waiting for them for dinner and it was all her fault that they were being rude by arriving late.

“I'm sorry.”

“Text him saying we will be there soon.”

She did as he said using his phone and then took a compact mirror from her bag to check her makeup.

“You look fine.” Jinki said barely looking at her, driving faster, his attention on the road.

“Do I? Honestly?” He always comforted her by saying that but she now knew how he was and probably all men were. It was easier to say those words even if they weren't exactly true so that women would calm down.

“Yes. You dressed to impress.” So he took a good look at her “Also please ignore him. Sometimes he likes to tease.”

“He is gonna tease me?” Lillie didn't know much about him.

“Probably tease me, but he might.”

“Alright...” she took a deep breath and touched her chest which made Jinki smile.

“This is going to be fun!”

Jinki’s observations weren't helping.

“Not again!” Hyung Soo complained with fake sorrow, grabbing his glass of soju to drink. He placed it over the table and grinned noticing the way Lillie looked at him with her eyes narrowed. It was only the second time he lost the game they were playing when she already lost it six times and Jinki four. After dinner, which was very pleasant and they talked a lot over red wine, they sat in his living room playing a game of Jenga. The one who lost had to drink a glass of soju and of course, Lillie that was weaker to alcohol was getting worse at it with each glass.

Jinki watched her while she tried to pile the pieces of the game again and then helped her while she blew a strand of her hair away from her face in frustration. She was too cute for words and he knew she would leave his hyung’s house in his arms completely drunk.

“Ladies first.” Hyung Soo said smiling mischievously at Jinki.

“Are you cheating?” She asked, squinting her eyes in concentration looking at the tower.

“No, he is good at this!” Jinki answered for him.

“I never shake.” Hyung Soo raised his hand with his fingers separated and his palm down and Lillie stared at it. “See? I’m a pro at this.”

She mumbled under her breath and Hyung Soo leaned back into the couch and blinked one eye at Jinki.

Coming to have dinner with him was a really good idea. Lillie was nervous at first but Hyung Soo always had a way to make people comfortable and soon she was talking with him as if they knew each other before. She also liked his house and marveled at the figurines that he collected for years now. And his hyung seemed to like her too, teasing her in a very friendly way and doing everything to make her feel at home.

“I like this one.” Hyung Soo said after Lillie managed to take one piece from the tower, her tongue in the corner of her lips while she did it as if it was a really difficult task. By the way, her fingers shake she was already too drunk to play that game.

“Are there many?” Lillie asked, raising her eyes to Jinki frowning.

“No.” Hyung Soo laughed “You are the first one he officially introduces to me. I met My Young at a music show before and saw Sunbin once.”

“Because you asked me to bring Lillie over.” Jinki was very private about his life. That was the reason Lillie was the first one he actually introduced to everyone important to him. It wasn't as if he needed to show off his girlfriends before. Lillie was different though.

“So that’s why you brought me?” Lillie asked, blinking her eyes while Jinki easily pulled on a piece from the tower as if it was nothing. “You wouldn't otherwise?”

“Oh looks like your girlfriend is starting to get upset.” Hyung Soo quickly pushed one piece from the center of the tower and then tilted his head looking at Lillie.

Jinki watched her wondering if she was truly upset. It was such a silly little thing that it made no sense getting upset over but women were unpredictable sometimes and drunk women were even worse.

“I'm not.” She giggled placing her hand over the table and raising her kneeling up to lean over the tower. Hyung Soo smiled at Jinki having too much fun and Jinki pointed out at one piece that was easier to take out. He didn't want her to drink anymore or she might get sick.

“Hey, that's cheating.” Hyung Soo complained but Jinki ignored him and Lillie pushed the piece he told her but her finger slipped and the tower fell again.

“.” She cursed making both men laugh and she sat back over her legs frustrated.

“She is really cute and is all smitten with you.”

Jinki blushed ignoring his hyung’s comment and then took Lillie’s glass from her hand.

“I’ll drink this one for you.”

“Go ahead and be a gentleman.” Hyung Soo didn't mind and instead started building the tower again. They both knew she would lose once again so it was pointless now.

“I am smitten with him.” Lillie pointed out and Jinki knew she would blush deeply if she wasn't already all red from the alcohol.

“You are crazy for Jinki!” Hyung Soo affirmed and she giggled cutely covering her cheeks.

“Stop that, she will be embarrassed tomorrow.” Jinki could already picture what she would say, how she would blame herself from drinking too much even though it wasn't her fault and for acting all silly. She always regretted her drunken antics.

“Jinki, it’s fine, I’m just stating the truth here.” He turned to Lillie that was biting her lower lip, cutely looking at Jinki with dreamy eyes and something more. If they were alone he was sure she would be in his arms already.

“Lillie do you want me to tell you a secret about Jinki?”

She nodded and Jinki groaned, grabbing the soju bottle from the table and emptying it on his glass, ending the game.

“Tell me please.” her gaze was unfocused and she seemed to be trying hard to keep her eyes open.

“I think it's time I take her home.”

“Don't be a spoilsports Jinki!” Hyung Soo bent forward and she did the same so that she could hear what the secret was.

“Jinki used to come here and talk about you all the time. He is also crazy about you.”

“Aish.” He ran a hand through his hair but couldn't help but grin because Lillie’s lips parted into a huge beautiful smile. God, she was beautiful and he wanted her.

“He is crazy about me, he is smitten with me!” Lillie giggled oscillating on her sit and then fell to the side, the couch stopping her from hitting the floor.

Hyung Soo laughed out loud having too much fun and Jinki groaned standing up. He pulled Lillie up and she wrapped her arms around him pressing her face against his chest.

“You love me.”

“He does.” Hyung Soo stood up too “It's kinda sad to see how much.”

Jinki rolled his eyes “Are you happy now?”

“Yes. I’ll save this memory of you all flushed over your girlfriend's cuteness.”

“As if you didn't see other embarrassing moments of mine.”

“True. I did…I prefer this one though.”

Jinki nodded knowing what he meant. Hyung Soo was one of the persons he went to vent about how much he missed Lillie. He used to drink with him through the night while he only spoke about her, he even cried in front of him. He was one of his best friends, and besides him and the SHINee members, very few knew how much he suffered for love, how he struggled to get on his feet, and how being with Lillie again meant to him.

“Thank you, for dinner and everything.” Jinki said and Hyung Soo nodded knowing what he meant.

“I know you will be there for me if I need too.”

“You need to get married!” Jinki retorted and his hyung groaned. Jinki smiled victoriously and Lillie struggled on his arms to turn around.

“You are getting married?”

“I think we will get married before him.” Jinki said knowing how that would upset Hyung Soo. He couldn't expect to and not get teased back.

“Really nice, Jinki!” Hyung Soo mumbled, “Hit me where it hurts!”

Lillie stood on the tip of her toes and Jinki looked down at her wondering why she was trying to reach his ear.

“I need to pee.” Lillie whispered in what she probably thought was a low enough voice but Hyung Soo laughed hearing it very well.

“Alright.” Jinki grabbed her by her arm while she gave a few unsteady steps into the bathroom. “Want me to enter with you?”

“NO.” She pushed him back “I don't want you to see that!”

Hyung Soo kept laughing while he moved around the living room collecting the empty bottles and the glasses and Jinki ignored him.

“Alright, just be careful.” Jinki said, keeping his hand on the doorframe watching her. Lillie stepped into the bathroom and swaggered dizzily, her body going against the wall.

She giggled and Jinki frowned concerned.

“I'm fine, just close the door.”

He sighed and closed the door but stood closeby worried she might fall and need his help.

“I didn't lie, you know?” Hyung Soo said, stopping by him holding two empty soju bottles “I truly like her and I can see why she is the one.”

“Can you?”

“You haven't stopped grinning like an idiot the whole night every time you look at her. She seems to like you too. I don't think I ever saw you this happy. You deserve this.”

Jinki’s eyes drifted to the bathroom door. He truly deserved to be happy. He always did his best and worked hard and love had been unkind to him in the past.

“I had a lot of fun tonight. Lillie too.”

“You should come more often. Bring her with you. I get bored pretty easily here alone and she is fun. Also, I love to embarrass you in front of her.”

“Hey…” Jinki complained but Hyung Soo was already trailing his way to the kitchen.

The door of the bathroom opened and a dazed Lillie came out. She fanned herself and moved her hand on the back of her neck.

“It’s so hot I'm sweating.”

A smile tugged at Jinki’s lips and he grabbed her by her elbow.

“It's because of the alcohol. Are you feeling alright?”

“I'm a little dizzy.” She confessed touching her cheek.

“Time to go then.” He guided her into the kitchen where Hyung Soo was and he bid his goodbyes.

“I'm putting my hopes on you. Don't disappoint me.” He said turning to Lillie and she nodded. Jinki wasn't even sure she was listening to him anymore.

He was wrong though because when they were in the elevator going down to the parking lot she tugged at his hand.

“What did he mean with that?”

“Just that he hopes we work out as a couple I guess.” Jinki shrugged. “He is kinda watching us for a while now.”

He wondered if he should tell her how many times he went to his hyung to talk about her but he said it to her already when he told her about that “secret” of his.

But then Lillie leaned her head against his arm and closed her eyes and he wrapped his arm around her instead. She was too drunk to process the information.

Lillie, who had drifted off to sleep as soon as the car started moving, opened her eyes when Jinki stopped at a red light.

He saw her turn her head to him from the corner of his eyes, her movements slow.

“Where are we going?”

Jinki’s lips parted into a small smile “I’m taking you home.”

“I don't want to go home.” She frowned and leaned on the seat closer to him, her hand searching his upper arm. “Let's go to your apartment or your dorm.”

He his lips. The last thing he wanted after how cute she looked was to take her home that night but it was the best thing to do, the safest route.

“Lillie, we need to be careful now, at least for a while. Since the news is out more people probably have their eyes on us.”

People weren't dumb and they were dating for a long time now so it made sense that they slept together already, but it was a totally bad idea to give people proof of it. If she was caught leaving his dorm or with him during the early morning there would be other kinds of comments, the kind that could truly hurt her and therefore he wanted to avoid.

“So what, we are dating!” She moved her hand over his upper arm squeezing his muscles and giggled “We are dating!”

“You are drunk Lillie.”

“It’s fine. I’m good enough to have .”

He chuckled “Oh I know you are but really, it's not a good idea. I'm only trying to protect your reputation.”

Lillie gasped covering and widened her eyes at him. He narrowed his watching her.

“My reputation?” She giggled after “That's too late now. You took my ity already!” She laughed running her fingers on the seatbelt over her shoulder and he sighed looking at her. "We did too much stuff too. I even...I..." her eyes moved to his crotch "My lips and my mouth there..."

"Lillie!" He felt himself blush, the memories of what she was recalling were making him get too hot and that was dangerous.

"I did that!" She covered her eyes dramatically which made a corner of his lips raise and then laughed again.

She was drunker than he thought since she wouldn't stop laughing and tears were on the corner of her eyes already.

“Lillie?”

“My reputation…” She snorted covering and closing her eyes and then opened them and looked at him in panic. “Jinki I feel sick.”

“.” He checked the side mirror and then parked on the side of the road while she moaned her eyes unfocused “Want to go throw up outside?”

She shook her head and he opened the window on her side so that she could breathe the fresh air.

She turned to it and laid her head over the door of the car half outside the window, with her eyes closed and pale cheeks. Jinki caressed her back and sighed. Next time they visited his hyung there wouldn't be any drinking games.

“I laughed too much I got sick.” She smiled softly and then looked at him without raising her head. “My reputation, my virtue? Really Jinki? We did so many things now that there isn't an ounce of innocence in me now.”

“Don't say that, makes me look like a bad guy as if I corrupted you.”

She chuckled and then run the back of her hand over her lips “We are both guilty, it's not as you did it alone or I was forced to it. I liked every single moment.”

Her confession, even though it wasn't a surprise to him, made him in a breath.

“I know but I don't want to risk it. It's too soon for us to go that out in the open. Imagine if pictures of me taking you home tomorrow morning appear on the internet?”

“Then take me home after lunch.”

He laughed and rubbed his eyes tired. He wanted to give in, his selfish side wanted him to take her home and have with her but he wasn't that irresponsible guy.

“What am I going to do with you?!” He mumbled.

“I have some ideas about what you might do with me.” She said, raising her head and taking a deep breath.

“Right now the only thing you need to think about is keeping dinner inside your stomach.” He tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear “Can we go now? Feeling better?”

“Yes and no. I wanted to sleep in your arms and kiss my boyfriend.”

“I know, you can still kiss me.”

“Does this mean that we…” her eyes darted to him with apprehension “That we won't have again?”

“What gave you that idea?” As if he could abstain from , with her as his girlfriend.

“You just said we need to be careful.” She seemed so worried about the possibility that their life might suffer a withdraw that he started laughing. She grasped his arm and shook him “It's not funny Jinki. I want to make love with you.”

“You like to make love with me?” He asked sliding his fingers on her cheek, the warmth of her skin making his body react immediately. That was a dangerous question and she had just said a few minutes before she did.

“Yes. “ She closed her eyes leaning against his touch and a rush of heat ran through his body.

“If I told you that we will have to go for a long time without ? Would you break up with me?” he asked knowing the answer, but it was too much fun to . Maybe he was a masochist because that had consequences on his body.

“No, of course not.” She opened her eyes and raised her chin offering her lips to his and Jinki brushed his against hers and sighed. She trembled against him and he felt it almost on his groin.

“But it would be hard.” She admitted, pressing her lips against his and he groaned.

Hard.

He knew all about that and soon he would be suffering too much to push her away. He placed his hands on her shoulders but was unable to drive her back since her tongue was moving slowly against his. She tasted like soju and herself and it was so sweet and arousing it took all of him to push her softly away.

“We will have again very soon, alright? Just for a few days, we need to be careful.”

She blinked her eyes filled with desire and he almost cursed. Drunk Lillie was a minefield of appeal and need.

“Remember how I used to take you home and we would spend a long time in the car?”

She pressed her lips together and nibbled at her lower lip.

“Making out?” She completed with a huge grin and he nodded.

“Deal?”

“Deal!”

“Alright, then sleep a little, maybe then you won't be so drunk and actually remember this tomorrow.”

She narrowed her eyes at him and he chuckled pressing two of his fingers on her forehead to push her back to her seat.

“Close your eyes and sleep, Lillie. I'll wake you up when we arrive.”

She pouted her lips but did as he said.

Minseo stole a glance at her boyfriend. They were in his car, hanging out by the Han river and the only thing they talked about was work, her college life, and dancing. Silence settled in now and they finished their coffee. Min knew what usually came next on their dates and her body was already tingling with need.

They were awkward and even though Taemin could have a very interesting conversation with her he was the quiet type. She wasn't an extrovert but she always had a very compelling image and easily talked with everyone. He was the exception. It wasn't because he made her nervous, Minho used to make her legs tremble in nervousness after all, and she always was a chatterbox with him. Her connection with Taemin was different, he made her nervous differently. She was attracted to him in such a way that it was enough if they only looked at each other.

He turned his head to her and she swallowed hard wondering when he would kiss her.

Their dates usually followed that same pattern. He would pick her up, they would drive around, buy something to eat or drink and then park somewhere nice. They would talk for a while about their interested in common and the things that bothered them ever since the last time they saw each other - because they barely texted each other due to his inability to answer texts on time - and then they would make out or end up at his dorm for .

It's been a while since they had now since she was busy most nights doing late shifts at the convenience shop.

“I’m checking apartments to buy.” She wondered if he could read her mind. He was probably also thinking of the last time they had . If he got an apartment they would have more private time. “I think it's time I moved out of my parents. Jinki also got a small apartment to do music and basically, it's only Minho at the dorm now. I think we are growing up.” Taemin chuckled, blinking his eyes adorably and she smiled warmly at him.

“I think it's a good idea. Your solo career is going well too. It's a time of big changes.”

“Yes.”

“I’m working hard too. Next year I'll graduate, then I'll find a place too.”

He didn't say anything and she played with the keychain she attached to the zipper of her backpack that was now lying between her legs at her feet. It was an acrylic keychain with a fanart Lillie made of Taemin. It showed his chibi self dancing in one of his famous poses for his solo song.

“It's me.” Taemin realized looking at the keychain.

“Lillie makes them.”

“What?” He seemed surprised and then leaned forward to grab the keychain and see it more clearly.

“I'll show you.” She picked up her phone and entered Lillie’s twitter page that was now filled with fanarts. Taemin grabbed her phone and slid his finger going through the images.

“She is good.”

“Yes, she is. I hope she becomes more serious about it. She sells a lot of stuff these days too.”

“Oh, we could sue her.”

It took her a while to realize what Taemin was saying “What?”

Taemin chuckled, his cheeks moving up into one of his boyish devilish smiles “I meant that we could not that we will. After all, many fans do this kind of thing using our image.”

“Well yes, besides its Lillie we are talking about.” She took her phone from his hand and his smile wavered.

“You can still sue people you know.”

“You want to sue her for real?” Minseo couldn't believe he meant it.

“Of course not.” He laughed “I wouldn't do that, besides Jinki hyung would kill me if I did.”

Minseo studied his expression and chuckled. Taemin could be so weird sometimes. He always thought carefully about what he was going to say but most of the time silly things like that would come out of his mouth. It was quite charming and cute but seldom it surprised her how his brain worked.

“Did you think I would sue her? Am I that mean?” He rubbed his chin with the back of his hand “Fans usually call me either a fairy or a devil, there is no between. Am I a devil in your eyes?”

His eyes glinted with something almost dangerous, something she loved and was close to what she saw in his eyes on the night they had their first night together.

Taemin breathed sensuality but she wasn't sure she could call him a devil. He was innocent too, sweet, and sometimes she could see that part of him even though he tried hard to act cool with her.

“I’m not sure what you are but you're definitely not a devil.”

He seemed a bit disappointed and she the seat and stared at him until his gaze found hers again.

“I'm your fan too remember?”

“So you see me exactly as they see me?”

She hummed gaining time, unsettling him. She wasn't that much different from him. In everyone's eyes, she was cute and sweet but Taemin always brought a part of her, a darker wilder one out.

“No, I'm not only a fan ain't I?”

He his lips and moved his arm around her shoulders pulling her closer to him.

“Then how do you see me?”

“You have many different sides of you, like everyone else.” She touched the palm of her hand against his chest and took a deep breath. Taemin was always so warm, maybe he was the devil.

“Which side am I showing now?” His voice was low and filled with need. She pressed a kiss to his cheekbone and he smiled, raising his thumb to her lower lip. He it over it, his eyes following the motion.

“Wet.” It was only a small observation about her lips and yet it made her ache between her legs. It was long since the last time they had . His eyes found hers again and she swallowed a moan, a weird sound of need leaving her lips instead. He chuckled and grabbed her chin with his fingers pulling her to the place where it would make it easier for him to kiss her.

“What side Min…”

“Doesn't matter. I love all of them.”

His eyes twitched and he blinked, taken aback. She watched him wondering what happened and then she realized what she said. Minseo just said that she loved him and he noticed it.

“I mean...I…”

He pressed his lips to hers shutting her up and it was so sweet and tender she cupped his cheek and her heart burst with feelings.

“I love you too.” He said in a whisper looking down, his lips still touching hers. Taemin was embarrassed and it was the most adorable thing ever. She felt like soaring, after the major let down that was her relationship with Minho, hearing that what she felt was reciprocated was so thrilling that she didn't know what to do. She wanted to kiss Taemin all over and show him that he wouldn't regret loving her.

She searched his lips again and moved her hand down his chest and under his sweater making him groan against her lips when she caressed his stomach. One of his hands that was respectfully on her hip moved to her that he d in a way that wasn't innocent at all.

In a split of a second, he went from being adorable to a god.

Lillie’s morning was full of surprises. She woke up to a rainy cloudy day and her body and brain matched it completely, sore and fatigued.

She remembered the previous night very well even though she drank more than she should. It wasn't her fault, she was trying hard to impress Jinki’s friend because that was what K.Will represented to her. He wasn't only a singer, he was someone Jinki respected. She wasn't sure if she impressed him but she could remember clearly how he . At least he had fun thanks to her vulnerability. She remembered the ride back home, part of it, and she did remember how Jinki’s kisses felt when they parked in front of her place. Their plan to makeout end up failing because she was so sleepy she fell asleep while he kissed her neck. It felt too good, she wasn't to blame. He wasn't upset and sent her home to her bed immediately. He also texted her that morning to ask how she felt. That wasn't a surprise, that was common.

The first surprise was the text Jimin sent her congratulating her on the news of her relationship with Jinki and saying that they should keep in touch now that both - apparently she also gave up - weren't trainees anymore. Lillie liked Jimin, she helped her out before and was nice to her but she couldn't brush away what happened on the day of the great plan, how she didn't help her even after she used the safe word. That was a conversation she had to have with her eventually.

The second surprise was that SHINee was going to have a concert very soon. Jinki did tell her they would but she didn't expect it that soon and let alone after their news came out.

But what was truly unexpected was how the chat with shawols on kakao talk that she was a member ever since she arrived in South Korea, the same one where she met Min, was extremely silent about the concert. At first, she wondered if she turned off the notifications to the chat but she didn't. Actually, she couldn't even enter the chat. She was blocked, kicked out from it and Lillie feared that wasn't a mistake.

“What's wrong?” Jules asked, stopping behind Lillie that was motionless staring at her phone, her legs crossed under her over the couch.

“I think my group of shawols just ostracized me.”

“What?” Jules drank her tea from the mug she was holding and then sat beside her friend, pulling a blanket over her bare legs and shorts.

Lillie showed her the message saying she has been kicked out by the admin.

“Who is this admin?”

“A shawol I know.” She was one of the first shawols she met, one of the first acquaintances and friendly people to her. Minseo ended up being a good friend and closer to her but Haeun could have been one too if they got to know each other better.

“A !” Jules said and Lillie frowned. “She isn't over the fact you are dating Jinki.”

“She isn't a , she was my friend.”

“Well, apparently she doesn't see you as one. Lillie let it go. Now there will be many people who will turn their back on you and the opposite too. You need to get smart. Some might try to use you.”

Smart. One of her biggest flaws was how naive she was, even Jinki said that. Was she doomed to perish in the harsh world of famous couples?

“Also why didn't you eat lunch today?” Jules asked instead leaning forward to grab the remote control from the floor. She turned the tv on and sighed laying back. A drama she especially loved was on.

“I'm on a diet.” Lillie announced peeking at her friend that released a soft unladylike grunt. “And I felt a bit sick because of all the drinking I did yesterday.”

“Diet? Because of the news? Being silly and insecure Lillie again?”

“No, Jinki said I gained weight.”

“He did what?!” Jules turned to Lillie, a storm raising on her blue eyes.

“He mentioned it. He didn't call me fat or anything. He is right. I did gain a bit.”

“I'm gonna kick his balls next time I see him.”

Lillie pushed her friend playfully “Don't. I want to have his babies someday.”

“He should learn to shut up.” Jules mumbled under her breath. “What is wrong with Korean people and their obsession with weight?!” Lillie knew what Jules meant. She always struggled with her weight and appearance but since she lived in South Korea she realized how much more they gave importance to that. Jules was lucky, she never gained weight and she was extremely beautiful but even she had times of insecurity. Lillie knew that. “At least do a healthy one and don't skip meals.” Jules pointed out like the big sister she always acted like and Lillie nodded. “And forget about that and all those jealous immature fans.”

“I'm going to contact her. Maybe it was a mistake.”

Jules snorted and even Lillie knew how silly she sounded. She was naive and soft after all.

“I just feel bad that I lied to her and everyone. I'll give her the benefit of the doubt.” Jinki did mention that before, how guilty he felt for hiding their relationship from everyone. Of course, people who loved them would feel betrayed.

“Of course you do. You are our Lillie. That's how you are.”

Soft. If she didn't get stronger she would perish in that war.

Hi! How is everyone? I hope you are doing well!

Also Jinki is back! Let's send sweet messages on instagram to Taemin. Lets hope he recovers fast!

Be safe! Thank you for reading!

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