“I’m sorry, Mike. We can’t meet this evening. I forgot I have to accompany my father for his dialysis, since our moms are going to Myanmar to make merit and Aung is preparing for her final exam” Aom texted him that noon.

“Which hospital?” he texted back.

“Bumrungrad Hospital”

“What time will you be there?”

“7”

Aom didn’t think much about it, and went home directly from the magazine’s office and brought her father with taxi a to the hospital.

So when Mike appeared beside her with his manager at 7.30 and casually sat beside her at the waiting room, she was completely astonished.

“Hi” he greeted, as if it’s an everyday business for him to be there at somebody else’s father dialysis.

“You’re here?”

Mike waved to his manager and she left after saying “Su su!” to Aom.

“I thought it’ll be hard for you to be here alone tonight. If I were you, I definitely wouldn’t want to be alone”

Aom was instantly choked. It was indeed her first time to be there alone, waiting for her father’s dialysis. Usually there’s her mom and Aung. She’s been sitting there on her own, unable to avoid the sad thought of asking God whether she might lose her father soon.

“Geez, I make you cry again” he commented in concern, getting some tissues from a nearby table.

“Thank you” she said, her voice shaking. “Thank you so much”

“It’s ok. I got your back” he smiled.

They had no mood to talk, and she was reading the hospital’s stack of magazines one by one, as he listened to his iPod. But it was peaceful, and.........felt so right.

An hour later, a nurse called Aom to come to the doctor’s office.

She got paler in a second and all the scary thoughts came back.

“Mike, do you mind coming with me to the doctor’s office? I’m – I’m scared”

“Of course not. Let’s go” he said, reaching for her hand and squeezing it to cheer her a little.

Every step she took to the doctor’s office felt so heavy. Her heart was aching so much it was hard to breathe.

Not yet, God. Please don’t take my father yet. I haven’t got enough time with him. I want another decade.........or two.

She was already crying again when they finally sat in front of the doctor.

The middle aged man felt pity looking at Aom, so he didn’t prolong her misery.

“Miss Manaying, I’m not calling you for bad news, but good news”

“..........really, doctor?”

The man nodded.

“When I see the color of his blood during dialysis today, I saw it looks a little better. It rarely happens, and since I was curious, I directly took some sample and checked it in the lab by myself. Congratulations, Miss Manaying, your father’s kidney condition has improved a little. It might be better to explain it in numbers, so I will. I think it has improved 10% since 6 months ago.

Seems like the herbal treatment your mother insisted on trying really works. If this can continue, he might even be able to avoid kidney transplant after all. And his risk of......not recovering from this will also decrease”

“Is it true, doctor?”

“Yes. Before this, I can only say for all of you to pray for your father. But after tonight, I’ll say for you to keep taking good care of your father. His condition might improve more”

Aom was sobbing hard out of relief by then, she couldn’t control herself anymore. She’s so elated, and she kept mumbling “Thank you, Doctor, thank you” and “Thank God, Thank God”

“I’ll give you two some privacy” the doctor finally said, seeing her turning so emotional.

When the doctor left and gently closed the door, Aom closed her face with her hands and cried hard.

It was between blurring vision and choked sobs that she found herself being held within Mike’s arms already.

She was saying, “I thought I was going to lose him” and he rocked her left and right, saying “It’s going to be alright. Your father will not leave you”

“I don’t know what I’ll do if he – if he –“

“Sshhhh.........don’t say it. I get what you mean”

“Prayers are really answered, right?”

“Damn right” he confirmed.

A nurse knocked the office’s door and entered after Mike told the person to come in.

“Miss Manaying, the doctor said your father has to stay here for a day or two, because he wants to do some observations. He needs to give your father different medication dose and treatment, and that needs close observation”

“Alright. Is my father awake?”

“Yes. He’s looking for you and was already wearing his clothes again. If you see him now, I’m sure he’ll be neat and tidy already, eager to go home directly”

“I’ll go to him”

When she was at the door, she asked, “Would you like to say hi?”

“I want to, but is he fit enough to see me? I don’t want to disturb –“

“Usually he’s better after dialysis, just tired. I’d like you to greet him”

“He knows about us, right?”

“Yes. Mom already told him”

“Then I better go and say hi”

**************************************************

The man he was seeing might be charming if he had more weight, but the man sitting stubbornly on the hospital bed, wearing neat clothes instead of the hospital’s pajama, was very thin, and his skin looked so yellow.

He recognized Mike when he appeared, and called “Mike Pirat. You’re going to marry my daughter”

Mike smiled and held out his hand. “Mr. Manaying. It’s nice to finally see you”

“Just – a fatherly – warning. If you ever – hurt my Sushar, in this life and the next, I will haunt you everywhere you go”

His breath seemed short, and he looked exhausted. But his eyes were alive, and they were appraising Mike critically.

“Don’t speak about the next life yet, Mr. Manaying. It’s too early. Let’s get to know each other in this life, and teach me how to make Aom happy”

“Dad.....the doctor wants you to stay here for a day or two”

“Why?” he asked, utterly suspicious.

“Your condition has improved. The doctor needs to observe you to suggest a different medicine dose”

“............is it true?”

“Yes” she said, reaching for her father’s hand, “Isn’t it a miracle?”

“Thank you, Almighty Buddha” her father joined his hands.

“I’ll be fine to stay here alone. You go home and rest, do you hear me? If any of the nurses tell me that you secretly stayed the night at the waiting room, I’ll be angry at you”

“Will you be alright staying here alone?”

“Absolutely”

“But –“

“Go home, Sushar. I want you to listen to me”

“Alright, Dad. I’ll be here for your breakfast”

“There’s no need. Just go to work as usual. I’m being handled by professionals here, nothing can go wrong”

“If it’s time for you to come home –“

“I’ll go home with a taxi”

When Aom looked doubtful, her father said, “I’m perfectly capable to go home alone with a taxi”

“.........Alright. I’ll go home now. Call me if you need anything”

“The nurses are paid for that. You’ll be robbing their job if I call you” her father countered. “Go, go. Go home now. Sleep early, you need that”

“Good night, Dad. Sleep well and listen to the doctor and nurses”

“I will”

*********************************************

“Your Dad is very nice” Mike commented thirty minutes later, when he and Aom was already at her house.

“I’m surprised he’s so nice to you too. He’s usually very scary with guys who look close to me”

“I’m special then” he laughed a little.

“Where’s your sister? Is she out? I was looking forward to say hi to her too, I’ve never seen her”

“Aung is at her campus, finishing a dress for her final exam. She won’t be home tonight”

“.........so you’ll be alone here?”

“Um.....yes?”

“Will you be alright?”

“Why wouldn’t I? It’s my own house”

“I have a feeling you’ll just cry in bed again”

Aom blinked, because it’s like he knew her habit after coming home from his father’s dialysis.

“I’m going to be fine. There’s no need to worry”

“But I do. I think I’ll stay here tonight”

“............but there’s only us here”

“So? I’m worried about you, and I swear I won’t get you pregnant. Not tonight, at least”

Despite her complains, he still refused to leave.

So she ended up cooking a simple dinner and they ate together in her family’s kitchen, and he showered afterwards in her parents’ bathroom, while she showered in the bathroom next to her room.

Once they were done, Mike found her pacing in her bedroom.

“Are you confused where you’re going to let me sleep?”

“...........are you a mind reader?”

“It’s practically obvious” he replied, leaning on the doorframe.

“Would you like to sleep at my parents’ room?”

“That’s impolite”

“............I’ll set the couch outside”

He said nothing as she took Aung’s pillows and blankets.

But when she was going to pass him, he held her arm.

“Stop” he ordered.

“Why are you—“

“Listen to me, Sushar. Stop and let’s go to bed”

“What?????”

“I’m not going to have with you tonight. But I will hold you in bed”

“What? Why? There’s no – I don’t want to –“

“You’re refusing the no or the holding in bed?”

She coloured like a strawberry ice cream and he chuckled.

“Holding” she answered grudgingly.

“Look, let me tell you another lesson from an ex-player. The best way to calm down, Sushar, is through physical comfort. If you’re a woman, then a hug from a man will calm you best in the worst of times. My family always hug each other when we’re happy or sad, and it’s really heart-warming. And you-you’re a pretty figure trying not to fall apart”

It was an overwhelming moment, really.

He held her by the hand and led her to her bed, and she walked slowly, as if the room was foreign to her.

“Lie down” he ordered.

She didn’t move, and was only standing there, as if her feet were nailed to the floor.

He pulled her then, and made her sit on her single bed.

“Lie down, Sushar. Why is it so hard for you?”

She was sitting still, grasping the hem of her own pyjama, and Mike was looking at her intently.

“On the count of ten.........if you don’t lie down, I’m going to kiss you until you bleed”

Her eyes went wide.

“One.......two........”

She tried to get up but he caught her in a heartbeat.

He was kneeling on the floor and she was sitting at the edge of her bed, as he counted, “Three, four......”

Since she still refused to move, he moved his face closer to her.

She gasped and pulled back.

“Five, six, seven.....” he counted, climbing on her bed .

“Eight.......”

He had crawled very close, sitting right in front of her. So close she could feel his breath on her face.

“Nine.......” he said gently, already angling his face and approaching her lips.

And she lied down.

“Damn. You should just let me reach ten and let me kiss you”

“I – I guess you mean well, Mike. But this is really crazy. You can sleep at Aung’s bed” she blurted, trying to ignore the fact that her cheeks felt as hot as a toast.

Mike lied down beside her and circled her with his arms.

“There. I’m here for you, Sushar. Don’t be sad anymore”

She was so tense in his arms, so he began to caress her back, up and down, in a soothing motion.

“How much burden have you carried in this tiny body?” he whispered, and Aom had to bite her lip to not burst into tears again.

“Crying in front of me won’t make you weak, Sushar. It just means trusting me”

And she let herself cried again.

“I hope your father will recover one day”

“I hope so too. I want it so much”

Her body went relax then, and she moved closer to him.

She had never been in bed with a man before, and her blood rushed and her heart danced, but it all paled to the feeling of safety he gave from being there, so close she could feel his own heart beating.

“I can handle losing wealth. I can handle working twelve hours a day. But I can’t handle seeing my father turned so thin and so sick”

“I know. You can get money back, and you can sleep when you’re tired. But when you lose someone, a part of you dies”

“Dad is our happy soul. Our mood booster. When he got sick, it became very gloomy”

“I hope it will get better from now on” he prayed.

When she was silent, he asked, “Why are we both so broken inside, Sushar?”

“...........because life just happens to be like that”

“I want to stop feeling broken”

“God, I want that too” Aom whispered.

“Make it happen, then”

She pulled away and lied a bit farther on the pillow so she could see his face clearly.

“Let’s be really married, Sushar”

“I thought it’s what we’ll do?”

“No. You’re doing it for your parents. I want you to do it for you. And for me”

She said nothing, and only stared at him as if she’s digging her brain of what to say.

“Teach me to be truly happy again” he begged, his voice raw and his eyes searing through her soul.

“I also want to be like that again. Truly happy”

“Then let’s do it together. You and me”

“............ok”

Suddenly, it was not only him trying to calm her down, but it turned to him seeking for her warmth.

He scooted lower to bury his face at the crook of her neck.

“Are you going to sleep here?”

“You’ll have to kick me off the bed to make me move”

“..........too much trouble” she mumbled, trying to sound nonchalant.

Then she moved closer to him and he hugged her tighter.

And they spent the night like that.

****************************************************

Author’s Note:

1.15 AM here.

I’m so sleepy, so I hope this chapter is coherent for all of you.

A poem I found yesterday money punched me in the gut. Please try to read it. It’s really a beautiful piece.

http://www.poetryfoundation.org/poem/175772

Aomike in this story both have a difficult life. They've been trying to be strong individually for a long time when they met each other. It's obvious that they need each other's support.

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