This surprisingly turned out to be the longest chapter so far and as I promised last time, DRAMATIC!! So unfortunately there's barely any Junchan interaction (there is none) but................ Jiwon and Chanwoo build their relationship a little and I'm so happy about it because I really like Jiwon and I just want everyone to love and adore him and Chanwoo. It's a little angsty, this chapter, but I hope you like it.

Also, a small TRIGGER WARNING FOR ABUSE  at the end, it's a lot less than in the previous ones but as I promised, I'll warn if there is any no matter how little. 

(Off topic, SPECIAL SHOUTOUT TO MY FRIEND DAMIEN FOR BEING SO SUPPORTIVE <3)

Back on track, enjoy!!  <3 <3

He awakes on a surface far too soft and warm to be his place on the carpeted floor in Junhwe’s room and as he sits up he’s disoriented, both from the sleepiness in his eyes and the whole situation, until he sees a familiar chair in the corner and realizes that he, in fact, is in Junhwe’s room, but he’s seeing everything from a different point of view. Because he is no longer on the floor or standing by the door, he is in Junhwe’s own bed.

(Alone, unfortunately.)

He’s surprised at first, the last thing he remembers from last night is sitting next to Junhwe in the afternoon watching some drama he’d never heard of before and having to admit that Junhwe is ‘better looking’ (hotter) than some guy named Lee Minho. Had he fallen asleep? And if so, how had he ended up in Junhwe’s bed?

He pushes the covers away and whimpers at the cold that attacks his bare legs, he’s wearing some short sleeping shorts that he got to borrow from Jinhwan and they’re only about a leg’s length too short. He doesn’t remember wearing them the night before and he guesses that whatever the mystery that made him end up in Junhwe’s bed is also has something to do with his change in clothes. On a side note, he wishes that whoever carried him or helped him to bed didn’t think he was too heavy.

When he slings his legs over the edge of the bed his feet consequentially ends up on his pillow that he sleeps on and he suddenly feels some kind of surge of power from looking down on  the place where he usually sleeps, and he realizes that maybe this is what his father feels like when he beats Chanwoo until he’s lying on the floor completely unable to defend himself. It’s an ugly way to feel in power, Chanwoo knows, but he’s power hungry, and if the only way to feel in control is by putting himself down he’ll take it. What Chanwoo doesn’t notice is how self-destructive that is. Or maybe he does notice, but just doesn’t care.

When he’s gotten used to the cold he’s leaving the comfort of the bed and making his way out to the living room, he’s nervous, he doesn’t know what time it is or if anyone’s awake and it makes it even more nerve wrecking. The living room is empty when he enters and so is the kitchen after he checks it, there’s a clock hanging on the wall over the fridge decorated with ‘ugly’ pictures of he iKon members that makes Chanwoo laugh whenever he sees it, because no matter how ugly they say they are; they’re not.

It reads three am and suddenly it makes sense why it’s so quiet and dark everywhere, he fell asleep early and as a punishment, he’s awakened early. As he takes a seat in the dark kitchen he takes a second to look around himself, take in his surroundings and appreciate where he is. It’s dark but familiar, it’s cold but not enough to feel uncomfortable, and it’s not his but still all that he has.

There are small lights hanging along the walls that Chanwoo thought were only made for Christmas trees, but apparently not, or maybe the others are just too lazy to take them down. They’re not on and Chanwoo wonders if they ever are. The contact to the lights is lying on the counter next to the boiler and Jinhwan’s collection of tea and Chanwoo wonders if they’ll mind if he plugs them in, he usually doesn’t do stuff without asking anyone first but there’s no one around now and he can’t possibly wake them just to ask if he can turn on the lights in the kitchen. He’s plugging them in before he has the time to doubt himself and they light up beautifully along the kitchen walls.

It’s so pretty, and...what’s the word for it? warm? cosy? He doesn’t know what to call it but it’s nice and it almost makes him wish that the sun would stop shining, leaving the world in darkness; Chanwoo would forever rely on the Christmas lights if he could.

His eyes reflect the lights and it makes his doe eyes look even bigger than usual, his dark eyes make it look like stars in space and it’s poetic but also kind of sad, because space is lonely and so are his eyes, and if his eyes are the door to his soul then what does the emptiness in his eyes tell you?

His tongue lusts for something warm and his eyes automatically move to the boiler on the counter next to Jinhwan’s tea stash, he hasn’t drunken tea in two years, he remembers, last time he did his father disapproved and said he was stealing from him.  But his father isn’t here anymore and Jinhwan doesn’t hurt him so is it really that bad to drink tea at three in the morning in the house of Busan’s most ‘dangerous’ gang? Chanwoo decides to take a chance (he’s tired and feeling more reckless than usual).

While the water boils he takes a look at the numerous choices of tea, it’s an endless list and Chanwoo understands why they call it a collection, it’s not two or three kinds from their local supermarket, no. It’s imported from Kenya and China and in flavors that Chanwoo has never heard of, it’s making him all confused and in the end, he decided to just choose the Strawberry one in the back of them all. It’s almost completely full and Chanwoo guesses it’s not one of Jinhwan’s favorites.

He’s about to grab a cup from the shelf over him when a cough interrupts him and in the few seconds that he’s distracted his fingers slip and the cup comes crashing down on the floor, it breaks into pieces and lies at his feet, he’s frozen in fear and shock.

Jiwon’s standing in the doorway with his hair in a bird’s nest on top of his head and his pants hanging low enough to expose more than half of his underwear, his mouth hanging wide open. He’s surprised by the turn of events because this was certainly not how he’d expected it to go, he realizes that maybe he is at fault for not being careful enough, maybe he shouldn’t have scared the boy like he did but he hadn’t really been thinking much (because he’s tired like most people are at the crack of dawn).

He’s about to apologize for scaring the boy when he realizes that Chanwoo doesn’t look like he’ll hear him if he does, his eyes seem distant and his breathing is more rapid than it should be, he seems to be clenching his fists too like he did that morning during breakfast when Jiwon had grabbed his wrist. But this time, he looks like he’s about to go into full-on panic mode any second and Jiwon is at a loss.

“Chanwoo,” he says and as soon as the name leaves his lips Chanwoo jumps and the hairs on his arms visibly rise, he looks so afraid and Jiwon doesn’t understand why, not really. Sure, he startled the boy and he accidentally dropped a cup but...Oh, Oh!

He suddenly understands why the boy reacted like he did but it doesn’t help his situation because Chanwoo’s still afraid (of him) and he doesn’t think that touching him in any way will make matters better so what can he do? Chanwoo takes a few shaky steps in his place and almost steps on a shard from the broken cup, he’s still a bit gone and not present and Jiwon feels distressed. He doesn’t want the boy to hurt himself.

“Chanwoo, it’s okay” he murmurs calmly but his tone seems to have no effect on the boy because Chanwoo lets out a whimper that reminds Jiwon of a pained animal and wraps his arms around himself in a protective manner. “Hey, I promise, no one’s mad at you. No one will be mad at you” he says as he takes a few steps forward toward the frightened boy, “it’s just a cup” he mumbles as he stand in front of him (careful of the broken shards though).

His hands come to rest on the boy’s shoulders carefully, not enough for him to feel incaged but just enough to ground him; bring him back from the clouds and back into the kitchen where they’re standing. Chanwoo shudders at the touch and a lone tear makes its way down his puffy cheek, it’s puffy because he’s still a kid and Jiwon wants to wipe it away immediately, wants to comfort him like his own child. And the weird thing is, there’s an age difference between them but it’s not big enough for him to be seen as a father figure at all, more of an older brother. But Chanwoo’s innocence makes him feel some sort of protectiveness, makes him want to wrap him up in blankets and stuffed animals and never let him leave. It’s an overwhelming feeling and Jiwon almost has to use Chanwoo to ground himself.

“It’s just a cup” he murmurs again and there are more tears now, making their way down the boy’s cheeks and he looks so little, so young. When Jiwon raises his hand to wipe away a few tears Chanwoo reacts violently and backs away in fright, “please, don’t hurt me” he murmurs so quietly that Jiwon almost misses it, “I didn’t mean to break it, please.”

And Jiwon is done being careful, he just wants the boy to understand that he’s safe so instead of treating him like a wounded animal and keeping his distance he walks right up to him and wraps his arms around him, sobs tear from Chanwoo’s chest and he struggles for a while in Jiwon’s arms, trying to get away from his hold but seconds later he relaxes. Out of exhaustion or fear Jiwon can’t tell.

“It’s okay” he says and it’s loud enough for Chanwoo to hear it even in his weak mental state, the tears leaking out of the boy’s eyes are soaking his t-shirt and Chanwoo sniffles disgustingly but he doesn’t move away. He only hugs the boy tighter to him and murmurs words that not even he can understand, Chanwoo is shaking in his hold but he’s a lot calmer than he was before. “Hyung, I’m sorry” he apologizes again and Jiwon just wants to tell him to stop, his apologies aren’t needed, “it’s okay, it’s just a cup” he says.

“Last time I broke a cup my dad-” Jiwon knows what he’s about to say and before he has the oppurtunity to Jiwon pulls away and holds him at an arm’s length so that he can look him in the eyes, with difficulty of course because Cahnwoo does everything in his power to avoid his eyes. But when he do manage to catch the boy’s eyes he doesn’t move away, he stares at him and everytime Chanwoo tries to avert he’s there again.

“Never” he says steadily and his voice doesn’t vaver even one bit, his hands are gripping at his shoulders, perhaps a bit too hard but he needs to get his message across, he’s sure Jinhwan would be a hundred times better than him at this, or Donghyuk and Yunhyeong, hell, probably even Hanbin, not so much Junhwe though- but anyone would be better than him.

Not becuase he doesn’t want to, but because he doesn’t have any idea of what he’s doing. He’s comforted the other guys before, but their sort of comfort have been a lot easier because he knows  their limits. Knows what he can say and what he can do, how to touch them and how to move around them. But Chanwoo, he’s special, he’s fragile in a different way, in a way that makes Jiwon think that maybe a punch won’t make him gain some sense; but will have the total opposite outcome.

“We would never treat you that way” he clarifies and Chanwoo takes the initiative to look him in the eyes this time, he tries to find lie but ends up empty-handed. He wants to believe him, so bad, he wants to be able to just accept and move on but he can’t. He’s afraid, oh so terribly so.

His forehead ends up on Jiwon’s shoulder and Jiwon almost backs away in shock at the contact, it’s not a hug because Chanwoo isn’t wrapping his arms around him, but it’s a small sign of trust, he thinks. Chanwoo dares to touch him, to be the first to move and Jiwon doesn’t know if it’s permanent trust or if it’s just this one time but he’ll take it. He carefully wraps his arms around Chanwoo, loose enough for him to know that he can escape at any moment, that he’s in control. But Chanwoo isn’t pushing him away, to be honest, he seems to be relaxing in his hold even more and Jiwon is basking in his happiness.

At some point they end up on the floor together, Chanwo still leaning on Jiwon’s shoulder and enjoying the feel of his arms around his waist. They’re sitting up but Chanwoo is half on top of Jiwon in his lap, Jiwon isn’t minding much because he knows Chanwoo needs to be able to escape if he would need to, and on the other hand, he doesn’t weight anything; it’s almost worrying.

He doesn’t know for how long they sit there but it’s long enough for Jinhwan to wake up and find them on the kitchen floor. Chanwoo’s asleep and Jiwon would have moved long ago and carried him to bed if he too wasn’t so tired. When Jinhwan stumbles upon them he freezes in the doorway and rubs the sleep out of his eyes, he blinks in shock a few times and pinches his arm discreetly to see if he’s dreaming; which it turns out he’s not.

Jiwon wonders what they must look like, entangled in a hug on the cold floor with a broken cup next to them and the Christmas lights on at six or so in the morning. What a sight. Jinhwan must think so too because he stares at them for a while, his hands moving but his mouth not, it’s like he’s trying to piece together what he’s seeing but not being able to beause it’s early and he’s probably just as tired as them.

“What is this?” he finally asks after awkward minutes of just staring and Jiwon cracks a smile, although it’s lazy and doesn’t reach his eyes, he’s too tired, “cuddlefest on the kitchen floor, join us?” he jokes, words muffled from the way his own chin is positioned on Chanwoo’s shoulder. “Is he asleep?” Jinhwan asks as he bends down to their height and cards his fingers through Jiwon’s hair, Jiwon purrs like a cat and leans into his touch and Jinhwan cracks a lazy grin, “yeah, he fell asleep like an hour ago” he mumbles in response.

“And the broken cup?” Jinhwan asks as he leans in closer to Jiwon and bumps his nose with his own, “we had a small situation, it’s handled though” Jiwon utters breathily and Jinhwan knows not to pry when he says it like that.

“Okay,” he pauses, “now get the off the floor so I can start cooking breakfast” he’s suddenly pulling away from Jiwon and standing up, Jiwon whines slightly but does as he says (not without grumbling profanity that they’re both happy Chanwoo isn’t awake to hear). He pulls the boy into his arms and hoist him in his hold to get a better grip, Chanwoo’s head ends up on his chest and he grins down at the boy, to be honest he looks adorable, like a puppy- like Jinhwan.

.

His smile slips from his face in a matter of seconds and he’s happy that Jinhwan isn’t facing them, he would have noticed it immediately and not let it go until he spilled his entire life story. Not that Jinhwan doesn’t know that one already, but this, this he doesn’t know. He doesn’t know how much Jiwon really likes him, and it might make him sound like a fifth grader with a crush but he can not do anything about it. They’ve fooled around before, almost everyone has been a little here and there with everyone, but Jiwon wants Jinhwan, badly, and preferably for his own.

He glances down at the sleeping boy in his arms again only to see that his eyes are open, sparkly brown doe eyes stare back at him and he’s locked in them for a sec before he shakes himself out of it and grins down at him, “good morning” he says in fake glee, a desperate attempt to forget his internal battle of jumping Jinhwan’s bones and putting a bullet through his head. Chanwoo stares up at him in wonder and Jiwon can’t understand why, has he forgotten what transpired earlier? or does he have something on his face? “What?” he asks while he stares down at the boy lying in his arms, but instead of an answer all he gets is a shake of his head and then Chanwoo’s burying his face in his chest again.

Weird, Jiwon thinks. Weird because Chanwoo looked like he knew something but didn’t have the courage (or heart?) to say it. Luckily (?) he doesn’t have much time to ponder on the subject more because in comes Donghyuk with Yunhyeong in tow and only seconds later Hanbin arrives with a sleepy Junhwe behind (in only sweatpants, thank god Chanwoo isn’t seeing this).

They all stop at the sight of the kitchen and Jiwon realizes that this probably looks hella weird, a cup in pieces on the floor, Christmas lights on, Jinhwan cooking like he’s noticing nothing wrong, and Jiwon carrying a sleeping (sleepy?) Chanwoo in his arms. Donghyuk looks like he’s ready to scream at the top of his lungs and Jiwon shuts him up before he can with a glare, Yunhyeong doesn’t really seem to care that much and Hanbin looks like he’s about to say he’s too old for this , but surprisingly, it’s Junhwe that looks the most bothered of them all. He’s not tense and his hands aren’t clenching at his sides, but his eyes scream murder.

“What the ” it’s Hanbin that murmurs what everyone’s thinking and Jiwon shrugs with his shoulder, minding the boy in his arms though, “nothing good ever happens at the crack of dawn,” he says before he’s walking past them and into Junhwe’s and Chanwoo’s room. He’s back in the kitchen only seconds later empty handed (turns out Chanwoo had fallen asleep again) and sitting next to Hanbin without a word. His brows are furrowed and he’s not even trying to look like nothing’s bothering him but they all know better than to ask, except for Jinhwan, that is.

“What’s wrong?” he asks as he plops down next to Donghyuk, much to the dismay of Jiwon, “nothing” he spits out with distaste and regrets it as soon as he does because Jinhwan does not look happy and that’s not what he wanted.

“Fine, let’s eat” Jinhwan states and everyone digs in, including Jiwon but he’s a lot less enthusiastic than what he usually is, Hanbin keeps sneaking glances at him, worryful ones because sometimes Jiwon gets into these moods where he just wants to murder, and not metaphorically, and Hanbin thinks it hasn’t been long enough since the last time for it to happen again. He’s worried, worried that Jiwon might be getting bad again, worried that that he won’t be able to bring back like before. Jiwon is always different when he gets into his moods, and while B.I might be able to handle it, it tears at the frail corners of Hanbin’s heart.

Bobby isn’t always good; while he hurts others he also hurts Jiwon.

Breakfast is quiet and no one really has the energy to try to start a conversation, Jiwon stabs at his meat and Hanbin barely eats anything, Donghyuk and Yunhyeong keep to themselves and so does Junhwe, he’s got his phone in hand and a spoon in the other; way to escape reality. Jinhwan looks like a kicked puppy but also a super angry puppy who will bite if you touch them so no one dares to speak to him, it’s awkward and tense and no one stays behind after they’ve eaten.

Hanbin drags a hand through his hair in frustration as he takes a place on one of the couches in the spacious living room, on top of having a minor living under his roof he might also have to deal with a murderous Bobby.

Life is ing great.

It’s five in the afternoon and the others (except for Jiwon) won’t be home until around eight, they had to attend a meeting with one of the gangs from out of town or something like that, Chanwoo didn’t really pay attention to the details of their gang business. Hanbin had ordered Jiwon to stay home today, something about having to watch over Chanwoo but everyone had known that it wasn’t really the reason, even Hanbin hadn’t been good at concealing his real reasons.

Jiwon had of course been pissed and locked himself in  the room he shares with Hanbin and Jinhwan, leaving Chanwoo alone in the rest of the loft, just like Junhwe had. Chanwoo wonders why they never let Donghyuk stay behind, or Jinhwan, they wouldn’t leave him alone like this (he hopes.)

At the same time as he wants Jiwon to sit with him in the living room and watch TV or just, at least open his door, he kind of never wants to see him again. He’s embarrassed.

After breakfast when he had awakened again he’d been surprised to see himself back in Junhwe’s room, he’d been so sure that he had lastly been in the kitchen. Hanbin had come in ten minutes later and told him where they were heading, and also told him that they would be talking about what happened with Jiwon and suddenly all the memories had been flowing back to him; memories of him crying and clinging onto Jiwon like a child had him covering in under the covers im embarrassment.

And so now, here he is. Sitting alone in the living room wishing that he had someone to talk to, he’s not surprised, though, or shocked. He’s used to being alone, has been for the past years both at home and in school, but ever since iKon told him he could stay he’s always had people around him, asking him things and telling them too, he hasn’t always responded, even though he has wanted to, but he has listened. Has gotten used to them.

He wishes he could leave, there’s nothing to do here, he could watch TV but it’s no fun when there’s no one with him, he could re-read the book Donghyuk gave him, the door to his room isn’t locked so he has access to his books and Donghyuk has told him he’s allowed to look and read but he’s still afraid to do it without him there, what if he gets angry? There’s always the possibility, he thinks.

He could try to cook something- but would probably end up burning down the entire house so that’s a no. He could… he can’t, not aymore.

The sudden urge to look in one of his old photo albums of his mother appears and it makes his heart hurt because he knows he can’t, he left them all at that horrid house when he left but he wants to. Wants to see her smile and her dimples, her eyes and the crinkles next to them, he wants to see her happy, And most of all, he wants to see his father next to her, smiling while looking down at him, looking happy because he has a son that he will love and cherish for the next ten years, until it’s all ripped from him.

Chanwoo doesn’t remember much from that day, he remembers there being a car and a loud sound and pain. And then nothing. And next thing he knows he’s placing a red rose on a casket while gripping his grandmother’s hand, not his father’s, his father didn’t show up to the funeral, and to this day, Chanwoo still doesn’t know what he was doing that day.

He’s dressed and standing outside of Jiwon’s room before he knows what he’s doing and he’s knocking on the door before he can tell himself how stupid he’s being. There’s a lot of rustling coming from inside and Chanwoo tenses, this is a really bad idea. When the door flies open he takes a step back in shock, in the doorway Jiwon’s looking furious with one hand on the door frame and the other curled in a fist at his side, he looks terrifyingly dangerous and Chanwoo regrets this entire day.

“What the hell do you want?” he hisses and Chanwoo is afraid, more than he thought he’d be, but only because he didn’t think Jiwon would be this mad (at him). He averts his eyes to the ground and tangles his hands behind his back, “I, need some fresh air so… can you open the door?” he stutters and speaks too fast in the end and it’s all a mess but at least he manages to speak without passing out or throwing up.

Jiwon stands still at first, just staring at him before he violently grabs Chanwoo by the wrist and brings him to the door, he presses his thumb against it and as soon as it opens he’s pushing Chanwoo out none too kindly, “enjoy your mothering air” he says and then the door slams shut and leaves Chanwoo alone in the dark. There are tears b his eyes that he refuses to let go of, he’s not a child, he tells himself. Jiwon doesn’t like him and wants nothing to do with him, and he has to be able to take it, he thinks. He can’t always be weak.

He’s got a pair of jeans and a hoodie on and he’s pretty sure that it all belongs to Donghyuk, it’s nice for being indoors but in Autumn, it’s cold as hell. He’s got his hands stuck in his pockets and with rushing steps he’s walking the dreadful walk home. He hasn’t seen his father in almost three weeks now and he’s afraid, he knows it hasn’t been that long but he had been hoping that he’d have more courage than this, it’s about an hour left until he reaches his old house and he’s already shaking in his place; that might also be from the cold.

He’s passing the train station again and this time, he’s not escaping his father, no, this time, he’s walking to him and it sounds insane when you put it like that, because why the hell would he be walking towards the man he hates the most?

Sometimes he forgets that while the man treated him like crap, he still fed him (sometimes) and gave him clothes and a home, everything he’s ever owned is in that house and while its owner is horrible, the house in itself isn’t.

He’s moving through familiar alleyways and soon he sees the top of the house he dreads to enter, his breathing feels a little fast hs chest a little tight but he’s gotten this far so there’s no turning back now. His breath quickens even further as he takes the dreadful steps up to the pharmacy, thankfully there are still a few costumers inside and he thinks that he might be able to slink past his father, grab what he needs and then leave. He slips inside easily, making sure not to make too much sound with the door and quickly hides behind a few shelves, it’s not a super big pharmacy but it’s big enough to be able to play a little hide and seek.

When he sees his father turn to a couple of costumers he quickly sprints toward the backdoor and slips through it before anyone can notice him, his heart feels like it’s beating out of his chest and his hands are clammy. He realizes as he walks up the stair toward his room that this is extremely stupid and not at all well though out. He should have tried to speak to Jiwon, should have tried to tell him what he was planning on doing, maybe gotten help, or at least a phone number in case something went terribly wrong. But no, he had been so caught up in leaving that he hadn’t really thought of telling Jiwon to where he was leaving. He regrets it now.

But he doesn’t have time for regrets.

He drops on all fours as soon as he’s in his room and immediately reaches in under his bed for the boxes where he keeps all the photo albums, when his fingers touches one of them he cheers a little internally and grips it, it’s heavy but he manages to get it out from under the bed. As soon as it’s out he’s reaching down and grabbing the book on top, it’s light green with stickers decorating it, he remembers him and his mother putting them there to make the book more fun. He opens it and the first page that he ends up on is the one of his seventh birthday, it’s a sweet picture, or perhaps bittersweet is the more correct term. He’s smiling and next to him is his mother and his best friend Moonbin, under the picture it says ‘Chanwoo darling and Moonbin’s sweet seventh birtday’ and it makes tears gather in Chanwoo’s eyes.

His best friend Moonbin shared his birthday and his mother used to call them her darlings, she was a person full of love who gave and gave and never expected anything in return, she was very kind, and so was his friend. But he died too just like his mother, and just like before, he doesn’t remember much, a car, a loud noise, pain. And then yet another funeral, his grandmother gripping his hand and his father absent. On a small detail, it wasn’t a red rose he was placing on the casket the second funeral, instead, it was a sunflower together with a friendship bracelet, Moonbin’s bracelet. Chanwoo still has his own.

A few tears make it down his cheek and he quickly wipes them away with the long ends of Donghyuk’s hoodie, he doesn’t have time to look at them here, he needs to grab the albums and then leave as quickly as he came. His second backpack is in the corner of his room and he grabs it quickly and hurries back to his bed, he starts to stuff the albums down, they take up a lot of room but he’sleaving with them or not at all. When the first box is empty he grabs the second one and empties it too.

He’s about to grab the last album when he hears footsteps from downstairs, he freezes in place and holds his breath as he hears his father thump around in the kitchen with bottles and trash. Chanwoo automatically winces when he hears his father shout something, he doesn’t seem to be shouting at anything specific, he’s just angry.

Chanwoo quietly packs down the last album and closes his backpck, slings it over his shoulder and stands up, he’s being as quiet as he can while inching closer to his door. He hears the TV turn on from downstairs and he sighs a little in relief, that means his father isn’t about to stomp up to him, but it also means that leaving the house will be so much more difficult, because out the house is out past the living room.

He sticks his hands in the pockets of Donghyuk’s hoodie and sighs, he’s angry at himself for getting into this situation. His hand meets something in one of the pockets and he pulls it out to take a look, it’s a piece of paper he notices, and as he unwraps it he sees numbers. It’s all crinkled and Chanwoo guesses it’s been through a few washing machines, but the numbers are still visible and he sees the beginning of a name under it too. ‘Namju-o-y’ he can’t tell the rest but it’s a person’s number, that much he understands.

As he looks at the paper he comes to the conclusion that if Donghyuk had it in his pocket it’d probably mean that it’s someone that he knows, not well, but at least someone he’s willing to accept a number from. And he considers calling it. Not because he trusts the person, but he trusts Donghyuk.

There’s a phone down in the kitchen that he’s never used, he’s never been allowed to but on another note, he’s never had anyone to call. It’s a risk but it’s possible to enter without being seen from the living room, and it’s his only chance to contact anyone from the outside, he doesn’t have anyone in iKon’s number (nor a phone) and so he can’t call from his room, the only solution is the kitchen. He rests his forehead on his door and breathes in through his nose and out through his mouth, he needs to stay calm, panicking will surely alert his father and then he’ll be screwed. He’s never been gone for this long, never disobeyed his father like this, and so he doesn’t know how bad the punishment would be. Would his father put him in the hospital? Or perhaps even kill him? He doesn’t know how dangerous he really is, he’s alway been careful not to upset him if he could.

After a few moments of just breathing he inches down the stair in quiet and tactic steps, he knows every crook and corner of the stairs, knows exactly where they creak and where they shake. He’s had to walk down these stair carefully before, many, many times.

He reaches the bottom of the stairs and hears the TV clearer from the living room, he’s so close to his father and his heart s beating so fast, this is where he needs to be smart. up and he’s dead. There’s a corner to the kitchen that you need to round, and if you don’t stick to the wall you can be seen from the living room, meaning he can be seen by his father if he’s not stealthy and fast.

His hands clench and his nails make small moon crescents in his palms, he’s so scared and nervous and full of anxiety and the wait isn’t making it any better. He takes a deep but quiet breath and quick as light rounds the corner, as soon as he enters the kitchen he presses up against the wall and breathes out in relief. He made it.

The phone sits on the counter and he’s pressing in the numbers from the note at the speed of lightning, it rings a couple of times before there’s a click on the other line and a deep voice can be heard, “I don’t know who the you are or how you got this number butyou should know that I’m tracking you” it says and Chanwoo almost, almost hangs up.

“My name is Chanwoo, Donghyuk gave me your number” he whispers as quietly as he can, “Donghyuk? why?” the guy sounds surprised and Chanwoo guesses that this isn’t a normal friend, “said to call you if I was in trouble, track me, I need help” he whispers hurriedly and as hushed as he can, he hears some sort of rustling  on the other side of the line before the same guy speaks again.

“I’ll contact iKon for you but you gotta-” Chanwoo’s strangled cry cuts off whatever the guy was saying, there’s a hand around his throat gripping hard and cutting off his oxygen, he gasps painfully and claws at the hands.

“Dad,s-stop” he manages to wheeze out but the hands around his throat only tightens their hold, “what are you doing back here, son?” he hisses at him and spit flies in his face, it’s disgusting and his breath smells like alcohol, no surprise there. He’s sure he can hear the guy on the other line shout something in the phone on the floor but he can’t hear what it is he’s saying, he’s too focused on not passing out from the lack of oxygen.

“Dad, p-please.”

“I’m not letting you leave this time, kiddo. Never again” and then he hears no more, his vision blackens and his legs give out and the last thing he sees is his father’s smile, and if ever wished for his father to smile again, he takes it back. It’s the most frightening thing he’s ever seen.

* ******* *

“I don’t know! He said he wanted to go out for some ing air and I was just so angry and-”

“So you just pushed him out? Didn’t even ask where he was going?” Jinhwan is angry, no scratch that, Jinhwan is furious. He’s seeing red and even Hanbin is afraid to get in the way of his wrath, it’s different from when he’s angry because he’s almost always angry. But Jinhwan who is so kind and always calm and who rarely gets really angry is someone you don’t want to cross when he is.

“He doesn’t even have a phone! How the hell are we supposed to reach him now?”

“I don’t know! But if you could just stop fuc-”

The sound of a phone cuts off their screaming and all heads turn to Donghyuk who’s searching his pockets for his phone while mumbling apologies, when he fishes it out of his pocket he frowns at the display name. Why is Namjoon calling him? What the ?

“Namjoon?” he questions as soon as he answers, he covers away a little from the glare he recieves from Yunhyeong but it’s all forgotten when he hears Namjoon’s distressed calls, “hold on, I’m putting you on speaker” he speaks as he hold his phone out for everyone to hear.

“Some kid, I don’t even know his name, called me and was like ‘I got this number from Donghyuk’ and he was asking for help and then suddenly he just screams and I don’t know, something about his dad or whatnot-” Namjoon continues to babble but Jiwon isn’t hearing him. Chanwoo went back to his father, while he was supposed to be looking after him! He went and probably got beaten to a pulp by some while Jiwon was supposed to stay with him!

He basically pushed the kid out of the loft and told him to leave, but if he had known that the boy would go back to his old abusive home he would never have acted the way he did, he was just so angry at Jinhwan and himself and Hanbin and everyone, everything! It almost feels like bile’s rising in his throat and he feels a bit dizzy, he’s furious but also afraid, really afraid. He cares about the boy, Jiwon cares about the boy! And sometimes he forgets that Bobby isn’t real, that’s when he loses himself for a bit, when he gets so angry that he just needs ro be away from everyone or be with Hanbin. He hadn’t meant to be like that to Chanwoo though.

He doesn’t realize that Donghyuk has ended the phone call and that they’re leaving until Jinhwan’s closing his jacket and pulling at Jiwon’s hand to get him moving, he’s still frozen in shock and fear and guilt. There’s a hand making contact with his cheek and it stings a terrible amount, but it snaps him out of his mind and he looks up, only to realize he has to look down, to see who slapped him. It’s Jinhwan, and he already looks apologetic.

“Get your head out of your , we’re getting him back, so move it” and it’s all that Jiwon needs, because suddenly his years of training and killing comes rushing back and he’s in soldier mode, ready to operate on whatever order Hanbin gives; and when he glances at Hanbin he can see that he’s already ready to give them out.

Hanbin sees him looking and their eyes meet, and when Jiwon asks for forgiveness Hanbin already knows, because he nods at him and then they’re out the door.

So this actually turned out to be one of my longest chapters and I'm happy but also suuuuuper exhausted so....here you go. Hope you enjoyed it and hope you enjoyed the cliffhanger. Hehehehehehe, I'm evil.

Anyway, have a good day/morning/night/afternoon :)