Okay so first of all, OH MY SWEET LORD THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL THE SUBSCRIBERS I WAS NOT EXPECTING THAT! 

I got so excited that I immediately sat down and started writing another chapter, this one I think might be slightly shorter than the previous one but still quite lengthy (meaning about 2500 words or so) and it's kind of a filler chapter. Not that much happening but after writing this I got an idea for the next chapter where Chanwoo will meet Yunhyeong again and perhaps the others too (!!!) so... I hope you enjoy reading this- oh! and also-

A trigger warning for abuse, there is one scene taking place where Chanwoo does get beaten (spoilers but this is a necessary spoiler) so PLEASE READ WITH CAUTION <3 <3

“What the , what the , what the ” it’s a mantra that Yunhyeong keeps repeating in his head as he exits the car parked outside of their loft, he knows the others’ already made it home and are probably pissed at him for not being there like he should. He is too, of course, he’s an idiot and he knows it. Why would he say that to the boy? Why would he tell the boy to come to him if he ever had any problems?

He doesn’t care (or so he tells himself) and he doesn’t want the burden of taking care of some useless kid, not in this word. He regretted it as soon as he drove away from the boy’s house, he could see him through the rear mirror and the boy looked so stunned, like no one had ever offered him help before. Yunhyeong thinks that maybe that is the truth.

Maybe no one has really cared about the boy, it’s certainly a depressing thought, Yunhyeong thinks. He doesn’t have any parents or brothers or sisters, but he’s content with his family because even though they aren’t related by blood he has never felt closer to anyone like he does to them.

As he walks through the valley he can’t help but think about the boy who had sat down on a piece of cardboard and looked so at peace, without a care in the world. He thinks that maybe the boy’s way of avoiding life is the best, instead of drinking himself to death or smoke until his lungs give out he sits out and breathes like it’s the first time he gets to gulp down fresh air.

And Yunhyeong sees something in that, innocence, he realizes. And he thinks that the last time he met someone with a soul so pure, or a mind so innocent, he was seven years old and the world was different. Of course there was war, and pain, and suffering, but he didn’t realize it, because he was so young. Innocent- pure.

And now, he’s corrupted. By the world and by everyone he meets, he thinks that maybe the reason people are alive, is because they’re meant to live until they’re too broken to function, and that’s when they die. Some people die earlier than others though, and sometimes he thinks it’s fair, and sometimes he doesn’t.

If he were to die tomorrow, would he deem himself worthy of it, or would he wish for a few more moments on this corrupted planet? With all the corrupted people? Hanbin is his brother, and probably the most destroyed of them all, but Hanbin deserves more. He didn’t choose to become what he is today, and Yunhyeong thinks that that’s the difference. Some people choose to ruin, and some people are just destined to, no matter what they want.

And so even though Yunhyeong regrets telling the boy to come to him, he also thinks that maybe having someone, no matter what kind of person it is, it’s worth a lot more than having no one.

Walking up the steps to the loft seem to take ages and Yunhyeong knows it’s because he’s stopping on every stop for a few second before taking another one, trying to drag out his punishment for as long as he can. The scolding of his life is just a few steps away and Yunhyeong contemplates sleeping in his car out of fear of meeting Hanbin’s wrath.

He has no time to think before the door flies open and Donghyuk’s slapping him but also kind of hugging him and his cheeks stings but his heart feels a bit warmer.

Donghyuk pulls him inside, still clinging to him, and drags him to the living room where they’re all gathered, Jinhwan looks relieved to see the younger man and stands up to greet him but a warning hand from Hanbin stops him and he takes his place again. The air is cold and it tingles down to Yunhyeong’s bones, he regrets only wearing a t-shirt, in fact, he regrets ever going back, it is warmer outside than inside the apartment.

“Where were you?” it’s a question spoken by their leader and it sends Yunhyeong straight into soldier mode, he’s suddenly standing completely straight and on his guard, such a contrast from the way he was hugging Donghyuk back seconds ago. Donghyuk takes his place next to Jinwoo and patiently awaits an answer, the thing is that Yunhyeong doesn’t really know what to say. He doesn’t want Hanbin to search for the boy and kill him, or worse, kidnap him and keep him hostage in the dungeon (they don’t have a dungeon but he’s sure Hanbin can think of something.)

As he tries to come up with an answer Hanbin taps at the armrest of the chair impatiently and Yunhyeong can basically hear the wild growls Hanbin is letting out, it seems to rumble through his chest and get ready to turn into a mighty roar. It is in this moment realizes that if Hanbin ever were to turn into an animal he would be a lion.

The silence is deafening and Yunhyeong doesn’t know how to break it, he needs to come up with a damn good lie if he wants to live through the night. Maybe he should just tell them a half-assed lie about how he wanted to go for a walk, and see how it turns out. Or, he can play it dirty and use his sob story as an excuse. He goes for the latter.

“I was watching TV” he says and takes some time in between to breathe and add to the drama, Hanbin doesn’t seem to appreciate it and urges for him to go on, “and they were playing a song” he pauses again and Junhwe rolls his eyes from the corner he’s in because he knows exactly what Yunhyeong is doing. But he doesn’t say anything, he’s nice like that.

“Um...the song” he emphasizes ‘the’ because he knows Hanbin will understand, and seconds later his stern leader face morphs into a face of a friend there to console you. “You went to see her” it’s not a question but Yunhyeong nods still and turns his head to the ground, “I’m sorry” he mumbles and he can almost hear Junhwe’s eyeroll, that’s how powerful it is.

“It’s alright,” the words shock everyone and leave them in a stunned silence, all except Yunhyeong and Junhwe, Hanbin drags a hand over his face and sighs deeply, “don’t apologize, I understand” he says and stands up from his place. He takes a few steps forward until he’s standing in front of Yunhyeong, his face set in a serious expression and his shoulders are squared. And when he raises his hand Yunhyeong wonders if he’s seen through his lies and is ready to hit him, but instead he just places it on Yunhyeong’s shoulder and grips, not hard enough to hurt, but just enough to show comfort.

When Hanbin steps out the rest follows him only to disperse into different rooms, they’re all quite shocked by the turn of events but no one dares question the leader, Jinhwan looks confused and dare Yunhyeong think perhaps a little jealous, jealous that Hanbin knows something about the younger one's that the eldest doesn’t. And Jiwon just looks mad, always the one to seek out a good fight, bastard- Yunhyeong thinks, although the term is full of love (kind of.)

Donghyuk looks like a kicked puppy with his head hanging low and his shoulders drooping, Yunhyeong wants to wrap his arms around him in the privacy of their own room but he guesses that maybe Donghyuk isn’t in the mood for cuddling with him today. They’re supposed to tell each other everything and still he’s keeping secrets from him, but to be fair he’s keeping a secret from all of them. And as soon as they’re all gone he looks toward Junhwe who’s still occupying the corner, Junhwe gives him a tight smile that looks far too sarcastic to be genuine as he stands up and stretches his legs. His shirt falls down over one shoulder as he does and purple marks covering his neck and shoulder become visible from where Yunhyeong’s standing, he moves to point them out but Junhwe stops him. “I’m not asking you am I?” he says and Yunhyeong immediately closes his mouth.

His and Junhwe’s relationship has never been a close one, but they’ve always known the limits of asking, Yunhyeong thinks that maybe he’s a little distracted today, maybe he just needs some well deserved sleep and disgusting coffee.

When Junhwe glares in his direction Yunhyeong quickly nods and turns to leave, at the opening of his own door Junhwe’s voice stops him, “you know, acting is my job. Stick to cooking and bandaging bleeding abs and we won’t have a problem” he jokes and Yunhyeong cracks a smile toward him. Forging is indeed Junhwe’s job but Yunhyeong is quite good at it too, the whole faking and pretending thing. But he thinks he agrees with Junhwe for once, the lie he pulled tonight was highly manipulating and he doesn’t really want to do that again.

But he also doesn’t want to expose the boy, Chanwoo, Yunhyeong remembers his name to be, to Hanbin, or anyone for that matter. Yunhyeong might have ed up a bit, and all he can is hope that it’s not too bad.

Chanwoo arrives late, that is his first mistake, his second mistake happens when he pulls his shoes off and walks up the stairs without checking the kitchen or the livingroom. His third mistake happens when he shuts the door to his room and goes to lie down on the bed.

They’re mistakes because only minutes later thunderous steps can be heard thumping up the stair and seconds later Chanwoo’s door flies open and his father is shouting at him, he’s so angry and drunk that Chanwoo’s can’t even comprehend what he’s saying. He doesn’t realize there’s a question somewhere in that drunken slur that he's expected to answer until the next thing he knows he’s down on the floor, his father continues to scream and kick at him and Chanwoo takes it, he lies there and lets the man do whatever he wants to. There are silent tears streaming down his face and his ribs and stomach feel bruised, he’s pretty sure he’s bleeding from somewhere too but he can’t do anything about until his father leaves.

When the man has done his part and is satisfied with the way Chanwoo curls a little more into himself he spits next to his head and exits the room, leaving Chanwoo to clean up the mess his body has become. Chanwoo stays there for a while, unmoving on his blue carpet, trying to catch his breath while not putting too much pressure on his ribs. He’s aching and hurting, but he comforts himself with the though of how much worse his punishment could have been. He also comes to think of the man he met today, the man who held him at gunpoint only to later drive him home and tell him to come to him if his father hit him again.

His injuries hurt but he has had worse, and he feels it unnecessary to burden the man with a couple of bruises. So instead of taking up on the man’s offer he decides to handle it himself.

He makes it to the bathroom with a lot of groans and moans but the important thing is that he makes it at all, some times the hits have been so bad that he hasn’t even been able to stand, those days are the ones his father calls the school and tells them he’s sick, those days are also the only ones where his father doesn’t hurt him. Chanwoo likes to think that it’s because he realizes that he has gone too far but he knows it’s only because the man doesn’t want to go through the trouble of explaining where the injuries come from at the hospital or to the principle.

As he wraps his chest and stomach in bandages (courtesy of the pharmacy his father owns) he tries to think of happier things than his miserable life, like the way he has finally managed to read the entire Harry Potter series all in English, and the way he has finally saved up enough money to leave this place. He has a part-time job at a café in the part of town his father never visits, he made sure of that.

He isn’t sure of where he wants to go, he just knows that he wants to leave and never come back. Since he’s a minor he won’t be able to stay in big cities where they ask for identification just for buying a soda at the local supermarket (a slight exaggeration, but only slight) but he thinks that maybe the country is a good place to start. Maybe he can burn everything that gives him a name and pretend to be a homeless kid in need of a home (well, he won't be pretending), and maybe some old lady will come across him and pity him, and maybe she’ll take him in and give him a home, and maybe she’ll send him to school with a kiss on the cheek and some snacks in his backpack, and maybe, just maybe, she’ll greet him with dinner on the table when he gets home.

Home.

Chanwoo wants one.

He wants one where he isn’t hated, where he isn’t beaten, and where he doesn’t have to wrap his own wounds at night with tears streaming down his face. Chanwoo so desperately wants a place to call home.

So this was really sad..... And I realized when I started writing this chapter that I'll have to write a few more abuse scenes for this story to actually lead to where I want to, but,  Every time there's an abuse scene I'll put a trigger warning at the beginning. 

Just so you know, in case any of you feel uncomfortable with it, you can also message me privately if you want me to explain what happens in one of those scenes without the abuse, just in case something important is revealed or something I'll provide the opportunity to find out and still follow the story without having to read it all.

(Btw, do you think I should put this story as M rated? or at last tag abuse?)

Anyways, thank you for reading! Please comment what you think :)