This is short and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Please forgive any mistakes -__-

Love you all <3 

The only warning Exo gets is a shot through the door, piercing Junmyeon’s stomach, before all hell breaks loose. The shots keep raiding in through every crook and nanny, hitting every possible target, furniture, people, whatever they can find. But it’s not long before the shots are retaliated and iKon and Bts take cover in the woods.

“Kill them! Kill them all I want them all dead!” Kris screams as he runs down to the basement to secure their hostage, as soon as he sees Chanwoo bound in his chair he snaps and charges against him. “You!” he roars in the younger’s face and Chanwoo tries to move away but he’s restricted to the poor wooden chair.

“You led them here!” Kris screams and Chanwoo shakes his head and cries out, “no! No I don’t know how they found you, I swear!” but Kris is having none of it, he grabs the knife embedded in Chanwoo’s leg and pulls it out hastily in pure anger and Chanwoo’s sees white, his eyes roll and he’s not sure if he’s awake or not, all he can feel is the excruciating pain in his leg travelling up his body.

Through his painful haze he registers movement from his right side and cries for help but he’s rendered immobile by the pain, he barely notices when he’s lifted out of the chair and dragged up the stairs, the pain in his leg softening all else.

He’s dragged out of the basement and through the house until the only thing he can feel is the biting winter cold against his skin and the small snowflakes landing on his bare arms and weighing down his eye lashes. He barely feels the press of a barrel to the side of his head, the only indication that something’s wrong is the cries of his hyungs but they seem so far away.

“Come any closer and he’s dead!” Chanwoo’s not sure who it is that’s holding him up and preventing him from crashing to the ground but whoever it is it sends a chill down his back in an unpleasant way, the only positive thing about the situation is that the pain in his leg is starting to fail, but he’s not sure if it’s because his wound is getting better or because it’s getting to the point of bloodloss where he just doesn’t feel anything anymore.

He carefully cracks one eye open and is met by the sight of his hyungs, out in the cold snow drenched in blood but unharmed from what Chanwoo can see, Hanbin’s holding Baekhyun in his arms with a gun pressed to his head and Chanwoo snickers, twins, he thinks because for some reason, him not being the only one on the brink of death is funny.

“Hand over Chanwoo and your boy won’t be harmed!” Jiwon calls but Chanwoo notices the extra coldness in his voice and realizes that this man is not Jiwon, he’s not Chanwoo’s loving hyung who helped him on the kitchen floor, he’s Bobby, and he’s not afraid to kill.

“How do I know you won’t shoot him as soon as I let your boy go?” the man holding Chanwoo shouts straight into his ear and Chanwoo twitches in discomfort, “you have my word,” Hanbin says boldly but the man only presses the barrel closer to Chanwoo’s head and laughs maniacally, “your word means nothing,” he spits out in rage and Chanwoo’s sure he can hear Bobby growl.

“You’ve killed my men!” the man yells and flings Chanwoo around to what Chanwoo assumes is a way of gesturing to all the blood and dead bodies, “how can I be sure you won’t kill him, like you’ve killed all the others!” Chanwoo’s getting real tired of him shouting in his ear but there’s not much he can do from his position in the man’s strong arms.

“Because this time you have something of ours,” Chanwoo’s eyes fly open as he hears Yunhyeong speak up, he’s relieved to hear his voice after so long and it almost makes him whine for the elder.

“Fine,” the man hisses and suddenly there is no force to hold Chanwoo up and he falls face first into the icy cold snow soiled with blood of the enemy as well as his own, “Chanwoo!” it’s Donghyuk who runs forward and pulls him up by the arms, “oh god,” he whispers as he sees the blood seeping into the snow but Chanwoo only smiles because finally he’s back in a familiar warmth surrounded by a familiar and comforting smell.

“Hyung,” he mumbles and Donghyuk chokes out a laugh, “yeah I’m here, we’re gonna get you home, okay?” Chanwoo only nods as he’s lifted off the ground and bounced a little as Donghyuk starts walking back to the others. But then there’s a shot echoing in the forest and Chanwoo’s eyes open, he recognizes the man standing outside of the house, Yixing, but he’s not alone.

There, before him is Jungkook, bloodied, bruised and so very broken but he’s still awake and looking straight ahead, “were you about to forget this little treasure huh?” he hisses and shakes Jungkook’s head by his hair, Chanwoo hears guns being cocked beside him and knows that Bts are ready. Ready to shoot until there’s nothing left of the man.

“He’s been so strong, isn’t that right, Chanwoo?” he smiles at him but Chanwoo knows he’s being nothing but friendly, “what is he to you? I wonder,” Yixing snickers and wipes his finger across the gash on Jungkook’s forehead, “he’s protected you so well, even with you being from a different gang, if you can call it that. Why did he save you, huh? Why did he take all the slashes and stabs and burns, for you, of all?” he presses into the gash and Jungkook whines in pain.

“Let. him. Go,” Namjoon speaks but Yixing only laughs and gestures to the body of Kris next to him, so that’s what that one shot was. “There’s nothing left as you can see, everyone’s dead, there’s nothing left to trade,” he says and hoists Jungkook up until he’s standing next to him.

“There’s no reason for me not to kill him, my whole team is dead, my brothers, but I don’t remember any of you dying. No, you’re all alive, and it’s not FAIR!” he screams the last bit and Chanwoo feels tears building up in his eyes, he knows where this is going, but he hopes to whatever god is out there that Jungkook’s is saved.

“If you kill him, you’re dead!” Namjoon roars and points his gun at Yixing, the rest of Bts follows and so does iKon, minus Donghyuk who’s still carrying him.

“H-hyung,” Jungkook mutters and carefully reaches out with his least injured arm, “it’s o-okay,” he mumbles and Chanwoo turns is head to watch Namjoon shake his head, but that’s not the only thing shaking, his hand with gun pointed is shaking to the point of it being very noticeable and Chanwoo feels tears lip down his cheeks.

“C-chanwoo,” Jungkook says and Chanwoo quickly turns to his brother, Jungkook smiles at him and Chanwoo returns a watery smile because he knows where this is going, his family is about to die.

“Aieru,” Jungkook mumbles through pain and tears and love and then Yixing’s gun is pressed to the side of his temple and fired, piercing both Jungkook’s head as well as Yixing’s, and then they’re on the ground. Still, cold, lifeless.

He hears Bts roar beside him and run forward, but he’s frozen. He’s unable to move or say anything, he feels Donghyuk shake him but he’s gone, he’s gone his brother is gone.

He throws up, he throws up the disgusting water Yixing gave him and he throws up the piece of bread he was fed, he throws it all up on his chest and on Donghyuk but he barely reacts. “Chanwoo,” he hears Donghyuk mumble but he only cries, ugly sobs that wrack through his whole body and shake him to his core, he cries and cries and barely notices when the car door closes and he’s enveloped on Donghyuk’s warmth once again. He continues to cry Jungkook’s name and mixed shouts ‘I love you’s in all the languages he knows, he cries for his fallen brother and for his dead family and for the pain in his leg and the pain in his chest, he cries for it all. He cries until there are no more tears, until he’s so tired of crying that he cries because he’s tired. He shouts and screams and coughs and Donghyuk never leaves him, only holds him tightly through it all.

*^*

Chanwoo doesn’t have a body to bury because Bts took him and left town, and so Chanwoo’s left empty handed, but this time it’s worse because he doesn’t even have a father there to blame him for it. He only has himself and somehow that’s worse.

Ikon no longer have contact with Bts but maybe it’s for the best, it would probably do no good for Bts to see Chanwoo there, living and breathing, compared to their own youngest who’s resting six feet under in the cold.

“Hyung,” mumbles, it’s been two weeks since the incident and he’s sitting on the porch of the safe house next to Junhwe who has barely left his side, “he’s dead,” Chanwoo says and every time he says it he notices that it becomes less painful, but it will never be painless.

“Yeah,” Junhwe answers, not that there really was anything to answer in the first place, “that ,” Chanwoo whispers quietly as they sit out in the cold. Junhwe doesn’t know what to say to that, what can he say?

He’s lost family as well but he’s stronger than Chanwoo, they’re polar opposites.

“It’s Christmas tomorrow,” Chanwoo says out of the blue and Junhwe turns his head to him, the boy is staring up at the sky far too filled with snow for any stars to be visible, “oh,” Junhwe mumbles because he really had no idea, he’s never been one to celebrate Christmas and iKon are usually busy then as well, they’ve never had time to celebrate but Chanwoo seems to enjoy the thought of it, judging by the tiny smile on his face. That smile is the first expression other than sadness, anger and disgust that the younger has worn for weeks now and Junhwe decides then and there that this year, nothing will stop their Christmas, nothing will stand in their way.

But the suddenly Chanwoo laughs, “I can’t believe Jungkook’s dead, did you know his favorite holiday was Christmas? He used to love it, we used to fix the tree together and bake cookies, open presents and play in the snow, our mothers would cook delicious food and my dad would play with us, Jungkook loved Christmas, hyung. He loved it, he loved it so much, hyung and now he’s dead. He’ll never see Christmas again, he’ll never see snow, he’ll never see anything again hyung he’s d-”

Junhwe cuts him off by hugging him in a rare moment of affection, the younger’s crying but it’s no longer those ugly sobs like before, it’s a quiet kind of crying, with quiet sniffles and silent tears running down his face. It angers Junhwe how sensible the younger boy is, how easy it is for him to cry. If Junhwe cried whenever he felt bad he would be crying every day, but he can’t, because now he has to be strong for Chanwoo and for his hyungs. So instead of crying with Chanwoo, he only pats his back and lets him cry his heart out. All while remaining silent.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbles after Chanwoo’s calmed down a bit, “I’m so sorry,” he says and Chanwoo only hiccups, “if I could have taken his place I-” Chanwoo pulls away and stares at him angrily, it shocks Junhwe because anger is the last expression he expected.

“What?” he asks when Chanwoo says nothing, “you dying instead of him would have done no good, hyung,” he mumbles and wipes a tear from his cheek, Junhwe gives him a small and sad smile as he whispers, “you wouldn’t be sad, then.”

Chanwoo huffs, “how do you know?” Chanwoo questions and Junhwe chuckles, “because you don’t love me, not like you loved him, and like he loved you,” Chanwoo wants to reach over to him and smack him across the face because he has no idea what he’s talking about, but he figures Junhwe won’t be too happy with him if he does so instead he clenches his fists and breathes out deeply.

“You’re right, I don’t love you like I loved him,” Chanwoo says and stands up abruptly with difficulty from the porch, he turns to walk inside but pauses and looks down at Junhwe, “my love for you is different, hyung, very different.”

Chanwoo doesn’t know what he’s saying anymore, but he’s sad, angry and so very tired of being so secretive that the words just flow out without his permission, “merry christmas,” he mumbles and hurries inside as fast as his injured leg can carry him, leaving Junhwe on the porch in the cold December air with more questions than answers.

Junhwe doesn’t know what he just heard, but he’s pretty sure that was a declaration of love. He wouldn’t know because he’s never heard one before but o his ears it sounded and felt that way. But...Chanwoo’s love for him? He’s been nothing but mean to Chanwoo, nothing but rude and disrespectful. How can the younger like him? And how can he...love him?

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MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR <3 <3 <3