there are some notices to read at the end.

xxvi. the twenty-sixth step

Since Lay was young, he developed this weird habit of laying on the ground in the middle of his room. Back in their old house in Guangzhou, the floor of his room was made of porcelain tiles and they were particularly cool and pleasant to walk on during summer.

This habit hadn’t been his then.

It had been his mother’s.

His mother had always been deemed strange. She was flippant and always seemed to sing whenever she spoke. She had a natural love for music and instruments which contrasted with the serious demeanour his father had.

During summers, she loved to play around with Xiao-Jia. After spending afternoons running around and singing songs, she would lay on the floors of the garden porch. He would follow and then they’d watch the clouds go by and everything was just simple and nice.

Before everything started going downhill, regardless of whether it was summer or winter, he found himself laying on the floor of his bedroom floor.

His mother stopped going to the garden porch. Stopped to do anything, really.

Still, he found comfort in this habit, looking at the width of his room from below, seeing the furniture tower over him and making him feel like a bug. He liked that. Being able to hide away for a bit, feel a bit insignificant and small and just be part of this thing called life.

Sometimes when you too caught up with the things around you, it’s hard to get out of it and just breathe.

And right now, at the age of twenty-one, nearly twenty-two, that’s exactly how he felt. When was the last time, he managed to pull away for a bit and see the world from the ground?

Far too long and he felt trapped.

Lay can’t find his way down anymore.

The car journey to the meeting place was pregnant with silence. The only sound that filled the vehicle was the purr of the engine. On their journey from Seoul, Minji had spent most of it asleep. Now on the way back, she was awake, trying to take in every detail of the scene that surrounded them.

“It’s so pretty,” she whispered, admiring the first touch of spring displayed outside. Little flowers were starting to bud, adding a splatter of colour on the grey-coloured fields that rode along the side of them.

It reminded her of the scooter rides she took with Jongin and what freedom felt like running through her hair. Inside the vehicle, it was a little different, the warm blast of the air-conditioner tamed and subtle.

Just like the life she had left behind. The life she was returning to now.

The male behind the wheel said nothing. There was only a subtle tightening of his grip on her thigh as he continued to drive with one hand. He really shouldn’t, but Minji understood as she also lay a hand on his.

Last night, they made love. Savoured every second doing it, trying to imprint every caress and sound into memory. Right now, Minji was quite sore but didn’t mind. In just a few hours, this soreness would be the only memory she would have of him for a while.

There was a sigh. Very heavy and almost resigned.

It made her his knuckles in comfort.

“You sure you brought the food omma and Harin-noona gave you?”

Her face broke into a genuine smile, remembering how the two harassed her with kisses and Tupperware’s of food. They were now inside the canvas bag that Chaerin gave her.

“It’s there.”

“Chaerin-noona’s jeans?”

Minji had a feeling she would be wearing those jeans a lot at home. “It’s also in the bag.”

“How about my hoodie?”

Her smile wavered a little. “It’s there too.”

She heard Jongin breathe in, his grip tightening before loosening. He exhaled. “Good.”

He was trying his best and it was heart-wrenching but it also gave her strength. It gave her peace of mind because he needed her to do this for her. After all, this had been her decision to make.

She bought their interlaced hands to her lips.

“It’ll be okay, Jongin. We’ll be okay.”

When they parked at the diner that was a part of a rest area on the highway, Minji realised they were first to arrive. Turning the ignition off, Jongin slumped back, his hand still on her lap. Minji shifted in her seat to observe him, laying her cheek against the seat. He dropped his head to the side to meet her gaze.

“When do you plan on going back to Seoul?” She asked.

“I was going to go back a few more days after tomorrow.”

“Was?”

His gaze dropped.

“Was,” he repeated. “But now I want to go back as soon as possible.”

His eyes met hers expressively and she tried her best to not let it get to her.

“Stay, Jongin. Stay with your family and hang out with Sehun for as much as you can.” She fiddled with his fingers, letting them lace into her own. “There’s no point in going back early.”

“How can I continue on spending time with my family knowing you’re back there in Seoul with them?”

A mirthless chuckle shook her shoulders. “They’re still my family, Jongin. What do you think they’ll do?”

“What more can they do?” He retorted. “Other than forcing all of this on you without caring about your thoughts and feelings.” The harshness in his voice rendered her quiet. It hit a little too close to home. “And what about him? Why would he—how could he?”

“He’s different.”

“Yeah? I used to think that too.”

“Jongin,” she began cautiously, “do you hate Yixing now?”

At that, he stilled. A conflict of emotions darkened his features. When he could not muster an answer, Minji felt relief in her heart.

“Don’t hate him.” His eyes went back to her. They shone with a blaring ‘why’ that his lips couldn’t form. She smiled sadly. “Because I don’t and you shouldn’t either.”

The diner was a cosy little place. It wasn’t busy so it was hardly a ruckus. A radio somewhere droned in the background while the sound of cutlery and voices wove around the area. On the tables, they were condiment holders that held sauce sachets and napkins. They looked neat, Minji observed. Distracting herself was useless, really, but it was better than squirming in apprehension.

It was Jongin squeezing their held hands under the table that pulled her out her trance. She realised why when a crisp scent slipped past her and she felt her shoulders tense.

She knew who it was before she even looked up.

“Kai. Minji.” It was a curt greeting. “It’s been a while.”

She felt Jongin stiffen as she finally looked up. Immaculate as ever. Poised as usual. On the other side of the booth was none other than Lay, looking the same as he usually did. But Minji knew better.

“You’re late,” she said, more casual than any of them would’ve expected. “But that’s nothing new.”

If Lay had any reaction to that, they wouldn’t know when a waitress chose that moment to come and ask for their orders. In their delicate situation, water was their safest bet and she could tell it was on the tip of Lay’s tongue, but Minji couldn’t find herself agreeing with it and took charge.

“I’d just like a glass of orange juice. As for these two, one cup of espresso and the other green tea.” She flashed the waitress a smile. “Thank you.”

Lay seemed taken aback. So did Jongin who also gave her a side-glance, but after that was silence and Minji wasn’t sure if it was because of what she did or the elephant that was yet to be addressed in the room. Either way, she decided to keep talking.

“How’s my mother?” Minji couldn’t help the bite in her tone. Lay took note of this, his face turning a grave.

“She’s fine,” he replied. “And so is Min-Jie. They must miss you.”

Minji didn’t really believe that. Not when she knew they wouldn’t forgive the fact she almost jeopardised this engagement and for them, that will always be much more important than anything else. There was a scoff. It was Jongin.

“Oh, I can see that,” he said. “That’s why they aren't here right now.”

Lay flitted his eyes towards him. “That would’ve made this much more dramatic. They wouldn’t have shown you mercy either.”

“But you did, right?” Jongin bit. “So I supposed in your eyes, this makes you a saint.”

Lay’s jaw tightened just the slightest. Then, a smile curled his lips.

“There’s nothing wrong with sending their future son-in-law to get his fiancée back.”

Minji winced. Both at Jongin’s grip and at the blatant edge in Lay’s voice. It was that very sentence that delivered the cold splash of reality over her relationship with Jongin. Was it even legitimate in the first place when the engagement between her and Lay had been officialised way before? Compared to it, their relationship seemed like child’s play.

“Well, I’m here now,” Minji determinedly broke through their exchange. Lay turned back to her. “And I’m coming home with you. So you’ll leave Jongin’s family alone, right?”

His reply came easy. “Trust me. That’s all we ever wanted.”

This satisfied Minji immensely, the disquiet in her heart calming into relief. They’d be okay. Mr and Mrs Kim. Harin, Chaerin and Ri. They’d be okay. Jongin, however, bristled from her side just as the waitress came and laid down their drinks. He didn’t open his mouth until she left.

“How does it feel hyung? To have the power to ruin other people’s lives? To use it and manipulate it for your own gain?”

Jongin obviously didn't agree to any of this entirely. And it was expected because, in the end, Lay was still taking her away from him as he had feared. The older male kept his cool, his face set like chiselled stone. There was still no compassion in his gaze as he took a sip of his tea.

Rather than anger though, Minji felt the concern she had been neglecting crawl its way back to the surface.

“To think I had been resentful towards Minji from the start because of it,” Jongin went on. “Turns out I was looking at the wrong person the whole time.” Betrayal coated his words. She may not have known the extent of their friendship but judging from the pain in Jongin’s voice, this must’ve cut deep.

Lay seemed to disregard the hot temperature of his tea when he swigged it down to what must’ve been half of the cup. He then stood up abruptly and fished out a bill.

“I don’t have time to argue you with you, Kai.” He slipped out of the booth. “Let’s go, Minji.”

The moment she has been dreading. It was finally happening. Despite the bile rising in , Minji found herself obeying, pulling her bag over her shoulder. Her juice along with Jongin’s espresso remained untouched on the table as she rose.

Jongin also stood up.

He slid out of his seat fast and was suddenly in front of Lay to obstruct his path. Their eyes clashed, both of their gazes hard in silent hostility. It was nerve-wracking. To Minji’s surprise, before any of them even lifted a finger, a voice from behind the counter bellowed.

“Oi! Whatever your deal is, you better take it out of my damn diner!” An ahjussi demanded.

Heads of the other patrons and staff turned towards them and Minji flushed at their attention. Unfortunately, neither male seemed to have heard the man so she did what she could, grabbing both of their hands and hauling them out in tow.

The thrash of the wind hit them once they reached the car park outside. On one side she saw Lay’s white car, while Ri’s that Jongin borrowed was parked on the opposite. It was as if she reached a fork in a road with two men representing two different directions but Minji already knew which she would take at this very moment.

She let go of Jongin’s hand first but he caught her back just as fast. Her heart lurched.

“Jongin…”

The wind caused his hair to toss around his face yet through the tendrils, his gaze flared with so many emotions reaching her from where she stood. It hurt so much when she felt recognised them and felt it the same in her veins.

She felt a tug from in her other hand and realised Lay was already urging her towards his car. Jongin resisted, not letting go easily. She almost choked up when she had to force herself out of his grip.

Hurt was a vivid expression on Jongin’s face, an image that Minji knew would haunt her for days to come but she knew what had to be done.

“You promised me,” she said hoarsely. “You promised just as you made me promise you.”

Along with her, the wind seemed to howl, vocalising the cries of her heart. It was as if Jongin heard it, a shuddering breath leaving his lips. Her name formed on his lips but Minji has already ripped her hand away.

At last, one shackle was free and Lay was able to pull her away. The distance between Jongin and her grew rapidly. Lay must’ve sensed his victory but it wasn’t his to keep. Minji also tore the grip of their hands.

In a moment of weakness, she turned, her feet running back against the force of the wind. Soon, she was back in Jongin’s arms, her lips smashing into his. It was a desperate reunion that would only last a few seconds. She pulled back.

“We promised,” she urged against his lips. “That I’ll be strong for you and you’ll be the same for me.”

Jongin gripped her face lovingly despite the despair on his face. He seemed to take a second to calm until his eyes burned into hers with promise. “That if I just remember you love me and I love you, it’ll be enough.”

These were the very words that he said to her at the start of the trip.

Now it was also how they’ll use to end it.

Predictably, Lay was silent throughout the ride.

Though he kept both hands on the wheel, he didn’t look as relaxed as Minji expected him to be. Then again, that was probably due to the fact she had been studying at him this whole time.

“I didn’t think you’d personally drive out here to get me.”

He took a few seconds to reply as if pondering whether she had actually spoken to him or not.

“Since we met halfway, the ride was only an hour and a half long. The long drive actually did me some good.”

She gave a slow nod. “That’s good to hear.”

Lay twisted his face into one of confusion. A little suspicious even. It was the first expression he’d make since they sat in the vehicle. Minji wasn’t that surprised. She was being awfully social for someone being taken away against her own will. Shouldn’t she be as spiteful as Jongin had been?

But if Lay really believed that then Minji would be a little disappointed. After all, he should know that she knew things Jongin that didn’t—understood things that he wouldn’t. And right now, that was why Minji wasn’t as angry as she expected herself to be either.

“Yixing,” she began slowly, feeling a pinch of guilt in her belly. “How have you been?”

If he hadn’t been driving, he would’ve probably turned to face her with an incredulous expression. What he did instead was grip the steering wheel tighter, the leather whining under his fingers.

“What are you getting at, Minji?”

It almost sounded cold and it wounded her knowing he had also closed her off as well. Could she blame him though?

“I’m just asking how you are.” She let her eyes wander out the window to let him breathe from her scrutiny. “It’s