xviii. the eighteenth step

After another long day at school, Minji was more than ready to go home in record’s time. She had tests coming up soon, which coincidentally happened to be Math and Science; the subjects she had admittedly been slacking off in. It had her gnawing on her nails since this morning because she knew it wouldn’t be easy and newly engaged or not, her parents still expected the best of her.

Joining the flood of students pouring out the school entrance, she was searching for her phone when wisps of whispers caught her ears. Ignoring it, she continued for the parking lot when she realised the source of the fuss was blocking her way.

Minji did a double-take.

“Yixing?”

His usual smile graced his face, partially obscured by the scarf he wore. “Minji.”

“What are you doing here?” She approached him, feeling a little awkward in her school uniform and the students that eyed them curiously. No one she knew outside the school or her family had met her on these grounds before. “How did you even get here?”

“Finding your school wasn’t that hard,” he answered sheepishly. “I asked your mother and she was more than happy to tell me.”

“Right…”

Of course. Giving her space and not pestering her about her sleepovers at the ‘condominium’, her mother had surprisingly left her alone but she knew that wouldn’t last too long. Looking over Lay’s shoulder, she spotted his white car.

“You drove here,” she stated, and he nodded.

“And you?”

“Not to school. Only to Seonu.”

“I see.” He smiled. “Well, what do you think of coming with me right now? I hope you’re not too tired.”

Another 'date', she assumed. Despite the announcement, they were still necessary according to their families. They urged for the two to reconnect and get closer after all.

“Well…”

Recalling their last meeting, Minji knew this was an opportunity to check up on him. That expression that had been vivid on his face when he made his plea was still fresh on her mind. Seeing the missing shadows from his face was enough to make her push whatever plans she had aside.

The same old quirk on his lips was back and she wanted it to last forever.

“So you’re taking me out again?”

He grinned. “If you don’t mind.”

Lay drove them to Apgujeong, the magnificent structure of Galleria department store looming closer. It reminded her of when she last shopped with Minyoung and Bom and how they purposefully avoided the luxurious place for the bustling Myeongdong instead. That had been such a thrill.

“Shopping, huh?” she spoke, and Lay merely shrugged as they parked.

Entering its elegant halls, he led her to one of the boutiques. “I could tell you’ve been feeling uncomfortable in your uniform,” he began. “So, here. Pick what you like and change.”

Touched by his ever so keen eyes, she complied. “Sometimes, I can’t tell if I’m just obvious or you’re just good at noticing these things.”

He laughed. “Maybe both.”

Changing out of her uniform and giving it to the saleslady to be bagged, Minji slipped on the outfit recommended to her. She had never been meticulous with what she wore when she grew up being dressed by maids. Coming out, she wore a simple cashmere pullover and jeans. Sitting down next to Lay on one of the armchairs, she pulled heeled boots on to match.

“Looking good,” Lay complimented as he also returned her coat to her. Before she could even thank him, he disappeared into the back. Soon, he returned and made her stand with him. Ignoring her questioning stare, he reached out to her. Minji couldn’t figure out his intention until he tucked her hair behind her ear, his fingers tickling her skin.

“What do you think about these earrings?” He asked, holding a dainty teardrop pearl to her ear. When she did not respond, he replaced the jewellery with a flimsy scarf. “Or do you prefer a scarf?”

When Minji found her voice, she tried not to stutter at his unexpected gesture—which she found to be oddly intimate. Even for him. “Oh, but you don’t need to.”

Actually, she found the scarf nice and had been thinking of getting a thinner one since the cold has been more forgiving, meanwhile earrings had always been something she liked to collect.

Lay chuckled at the conflict that must’ve cast over her face. “No pressure.”

Minji pursued her lips in contemplation as she stared at the two. He may not know this but she really liked the style of the accessories he picked out. When she took too long, the items were swept away to the counter by a saleslady.

“But I haven’t chosen yet…” She trailed off when she saw Lay whip out his wallet as he followed the woman. She tagged along with wide eyes. “Wait, you’re paying? Don’t! I was going to do it.”

He side-eyed her as if he already expected the reaction. “Of course I’m paying. I took you here, didn’t I?”

“But…” She huffed, ignoring the female staff that watched them amusedly.

“No buts,” he announced, before turning to the ladies. “I’d like the scarf to wear now, please.”

As he handed over his card to pay, he took the scarf and wound it loosely around her neck. At least the thing helped hide the red blooming in her cheeks. She glared at him but it seemed to have no effect.

“It’s your fault,” he quipped in response. “You aren’t wearing a scarf today. I can’t just leave you like that.”

“I could’ve still bought it though,” she muttered.

He took his card back along with the shopping bag that carried Minji’s uniform and newly bought earrings. Just before they turned away from the counter, she swore she heard the staff squeal as he said, “Get used to it Minji. As your fiancé, this won’t be the last.”

It might’ve been to simply humour her, and normally Minji would’ve been able to tell but there was something that lingered in his words. It was just like when he told her to keep their engagement a secret from their friends.

On the surface, he appeared fine, but as she had suspected, there something different about him.

This thought didn’t leave her even when they stopped to get hot drinks on the way. Lay was sipping his tea from his paper cup while Minji held her own cup of coffee in her hands. He noted her silence.

“Is it still too hot? Do you want me to carry it for you?” He asked.

He was making a grab for it when Minji interrupted him, “why did you want to hide our engagement from everyone?”

They fell to a halt, Lay’s gaze caught in her blunt one. Luckily, the place wasn’t as busy on a late Tuesday afternoon because they just stopped in the middle of the nowhere. The smile on his face slipped a little as they started walking again.

“It was quite selfish of me, wasn’t it?” he murmured. “I’m sorry Minji. I wasn’t thinking of how hard that must be for you.”

She tried not to think about the male whose bed she was sleeping in a day ago. “I just I didn’t expect it from you. I couldn’t imagine why you would…”

“It’s because I mentioned Kai, right?” Thank the lord Lay wasn’t looking at her because she swore all blood drained from her face. “I just thought it would be easier for now if we didn’t tell him—and maybe Amber too.” Before the ‘why?’ could leave , he continued, “see, I don’t know how he would take it. It won’t be easy to tell him and knowing how he is…”

Exactly. Minji feared that too so that was why it was probably better to tell him as soon as possible before she (and the both of them) get tangled into this mess even more. She was about to voice this when Lay went on.

“…and remembering what happened with Krystal, we should probably wait a little bit more.”

Her feet came to an abrupt pause, causing the coffee to slosh violently inside the cup she held. Lay noticed this and asked if she was okay. She quickly nodded. You’re stronger than this, Minji. Wielding a stoic face, she forced herself to ask, “what about Krystal?”

He turned to her. “Wait, have you met her? She’s Amber’s best friend.”

Minji forgot Lay had no idea of her past meetings with Jongin’s friends. “Actually I have. I got invited to their street dance matches before, so I met her and Taemin along with Amber and Jongin.”

For once, she did not want to have to lie. It was tiring.

Lay took it well with a slow nod. “Those, huh? I got invited too before but I declined.”

“Why?”

He shrugged. “Not my style. So anyway, all of them are super close and so were Krystal and Kai. In fact, he even liked her.”

Minji understood the concept of past tense but hearing this felt like a knife was driven into her chest. She bit her lip, feeling a blade twist around the wound—an old wound. Why? She yelled in her head, why her?

She remembered the dread that washed over her the moment she saw the girl with Amber, the same dread that Minji always pushed down at the sight of her since the day she was introduced to her as Taemin’s girlfriend. Sometimes there was even fear like that time she saw her in the convenience store.

With Jongin always there to distract her, ignoring Krystal just as she ignored Minji was easy and they played the game well. But with this piece of knowledge, it would no longer be simple.

“But isn’t Krystal with Taemin?”

Lay nodded. “That’s why Kai has been distancing himself. It must be hard looking at the girl you like with your best friend. It was hopeless from the start but we can’t control how we feel.”

Ironically, these words resonated with her too well.

“Does he still like her now?” She couldn’t help but press.

He seemed to ponder over the question first before saying, “probably not.”

Inwardly, she sighed in relief before scolding herself after. She wasn’t meant to care.

“That’s a pity,” she muttered. “It’s a pity Jongin fell for someone like Jung Soojung…”

Finally taking a sip of her coffee, Minji grimaced at the taste when she compared it to the delicious one Jongin made for her the last morning they spent together. She found out he worked as a barista as he bragged about making her the best she’d ever tasted. It turned out he was right.

She was going to trash the drink altogether when she noticed Lay was staring at her. Her mind scrambled under his scrutiny.

“I didn’t know you were on real name basis,” he said, making her whiten. “…Even Amber introduced her to me as Krystal, not Soojung.”

The pounding in her chest was the only thing Minji could hear as she slowly realised what she said.

“That’s good. I’m glad you’ve gotten close to the girls,” Lay went on before taking another sip.

At her slip of the tongue, Minji could only clench her own cup tighter.

It seemed like a lifetime ago when Jongin only saw a privileged girl that had the academy under her feet. To him, talent must’ve been natural to her like the money she owned and for someone who only had skill alone that pissed him off.

In other words, he had been a fool and it had to take for him to see the pain in Minji’s eyes to realise that. It left such a bad taste in his mouth, he did what he did, said what he said.

“I don't hate you.”

Since then, it was as if a weight had been lifted from his chest with a new one taking its stead.

Content. He recalled how it seemed to hang over his apartment, staying that way even when they got up and he made them both cups of coffee. It was almost dream-like with how that went but like how most fairy tales go, the magic began to decline when Minji collected her things.

After washing their mugs, he saw her go into his bathroom and that was when he no longer could help himself. He stopped by the door, just as she pulled the shirt he lent her over her head. The sight of her back must’ve called out to him because the next thing he did was cross the distance and pull her torso to his chest from behind.

Jongin couldn’t understand his actions then; why he clung to her and why he didn’t want to let go. He just remembered breathing in the honeyed fragrance that lingered on her skin, tempting him until he was mouthing his pleas along the column of her neck.

“Don’t go back to your timeslot. Stay.”

Minji had gasped; one of her hands gripping his hold on her middle. The pant of his name fanned his desire, a hand travelling over the shirt she held to cover her s. The shape of her mounds , but he did not rip the shirt away as he could’ve easily done. He had put a hand over her hand that held it instead.

If he did not control himself better, she wouldn’t have left his apartment untouched. Especially with the answer she had given him.

“I can’t, Jongin. I’m sorry.”

So now here he was, finishing up with his practice today. Alone.

It was crazy that this was what he wanted before and now the silence was driving him mad. Dancing without her almost felt weird.

“Seriously, this is just the first practice back,” he sighed to himself.

Cleaning the studio up, he found himself checking the clock every now and then. Seeing his time was almost up, he allowed himself to drop the sulky act.

She should be coming in soon.

Okay, fine. Minji did not agree to share the timeslot with him but she had also said he was welcome to visit her in her own studio after finishing with his. That was enough for him. Now he didn’t just have to see her in the monthly evaluations. Speaking of that, he actually had an idea for that he wanted to share with her.

Leaving his own studio, he made his way to hers when he realised the lights were still off. Wasn't she here yet? She was rarely ever late. Waiting a bit more, twenty minutes already passed when his patience thinned. Taking his phone, he was going to call her when he saw a bunch of messages from someone. It was Amber.

Guess who we bumped into? It read. Along with it was an image.

It was Amber and Krystal with Lay and Minji.

Minji convinced Lay to go to Myeongdong. After their not-so-pleasant conversation about certain things, or rather people, she became determined to not let that get to her. Not for now, at least. If she was on a ‘date’, then she’d try to have fun and Myeongdong was much more interesting than Galleria.

“I’ve only been here a couple of times,” Lay confessed. “I sometimes accompanied Kai.”

She hid a smile at the sound of that, and nodded. “My sister is quite adventurous. She likes coming here sometimes instead of Apgujeong.”

“That sounds like Min-jie,” Lay agreed as they merged with the heavy crowds. “Even if Da-ge was our duizhang, Minyoung never cared. She sometimes took lead and it annoyed ge a lot.”

Minji could imagine that. Even now, Minyoung had always seemed to be sending Yifan sarcastic looks. She figured it was something that became a habit from their childhood.

“I wish I could remember as much as you,” she mused aloud. “I only remember bits and pieces, but then again, looking back at the past, other not so good memories come to mind instead…”

“What