xii. the twelfth step

True to his word, Lay attended practice again.

When Jongin saw his friend stretching in the studio, the relief was immense that he couldn't help but tackle the guy. Thank god.

The academy was only a week away from recommencing and by then, they should’ve already mastered the whole routine. Though he knew Lay had been practising his parts, Jongin was aware they barely rehearsed as one. Lay also needed to brush up his parts with Minji.

"You missed me that much, huh?” Lay joked, after escaping his clutches.

The two males warmed up together until a few minutes later, Minji arrived. The sound of the door caused them to swivel their heads and find their female acquaintance waltzing in.

He heard Lay clear his throat. “Good morning.”

The girl hardly bothered to face him as she bee-lined for the bench, only mumbling a stoic good morning back as she went along.

Jongin was speechless. Since when had she addressed Lay in such a way? He took it as a bad sign. This didn’t bode well.

“What’s going on now?” he muttered to himself.

Lay caught this with a shrug. “It’s okay, I guess she’s just nervous. We only have a few days left.”

Jongin didn't buy it. Gong Minji hardly did nervous when it came to dance.

Contrary to his expectations, Minji did exceedingly well and danced flawlessly. The problem was the subtle change in her demeanour; passive and almost mechanically, she barely exchanged a word with them. During the break, Lay being his usual self tried to approach her but even his attempts were met with an unenthusiastic response.

Did something happen?

Later, the three decided to try the whole thing as one. With their precise movements and subtle grace, they dipped and rose in sync. But when it was Lay and Minji’s turn to dance, Jongin found himself watching the questionable state of their chemistry. Where was the compatibility they once flaunted? When practice ended, he knew something was wrong.

“Going to work now?” Lay asked as Jongin approached.

“Yeah,” he ran a hand through his hair. “In a sec. I just wanted to talk to you about something.”

Lay tilted his head. “What is it?”

Jongin heard Minji going through her stuff behind him. Probably readying to bolt off first as usual. He still lowered his voice. “It’s about you and Minji.”

To his surprise, Lay’s eyes widened. It didn’t take long for him to cover that up with a smile though. “Are we lacking? I know our part needs more work compared to yours, but I promise you—”

“No, it’s not that. Well, not just that.” Jongin crinkled his brows. “Don’t you think she’s acting odd? She seems to be…going through a lot nowadays.”

Lay dismissed him. “I already told you. She’s probably nervous since we’re only days away from the performance. Aren’t you a little nervous yourself?”

And like last time, Jongin refused to simply label this as 'nervous'. “She’s hardly said a thing to us all day. And whenever you guys are practising, she just seems so…I don’t know. Upset? Like—did you do something?”

The claim was hardly rational but it seemed to have an impact. Lay turned away, sliding his bottle back into his bag.

“You shouldn’t worry about it too much. I know you’ve been stressed because of my absence and having to work with Minji alone. I’m sorry.”

This was probably the hundredth apology he received from Lay and Jongin still couldn’t care less, but this attempt of evasion was.

“That’s not what I asked—”

Lay put a hand on his shoulder. “You’re worried about the grade Mr Hwan will give us, right?” Maybe before but that wasn’t the case anymore. Not with Lay acting as strange as Minji. “Trust me, I doubt we’ll do terribly. Our group is one of the best in the class.”

Just like that, his friend ended the discussion and swung his bag onto his shoulder.

“Have fun at work, I’ll text you later.”

Jongin was left staring where Lay had been, a pinch of doubt sprouting inside him. Something was definitely amiss.

“Do I really have to do this?”

Minji miserably stared at her own reflection. Minyoung gave her a sympathetic look through the same mirror.

“Yes, Minji. Do you want to upset Mother? Father?” she berated softly. “C’mon, it’s not so bad. You knew Yixing already even if you had no idea he was Xiao-Jia from when we were kids. What’s the difference now? You went on a ski trip with him, for god’s sake.”

But that was just it. They were growing closer until the announcement. She used to feel comfortable around him now she can't look at him without feeling distraught. Their talk was interrupted when the door opened and a set of heels made their way to the two girls. The siblings greeted their mother.

“Oh, Minji, you look exquisite. Are you ready to leave?”

When Minji couldn’t answer, her older sister did for her. “She’s ready, mother.”

“Oh, good. You can’t keep Yixing-ah waiting!” her mother sang, prying her daughter from the table and out the door. Minji turned back to find Minyoung sending her a weak smile from afar.

She hadn’t known what reaction she expected from Minyoung but it wasn’t this. Sure, Minyoung held her in her arms as Minji sobbed her heart out that night and sure, Minji had already forgiven her sister for not telling her anything in advance—but for Minyoung to sit around and do nothing? It pained her. It seemed she supported the engagement. And yet Minji could not be angry with her as she was with her parents.

What could have Minyoung have done anyway?

After being ushered inside the car, Minji bristled at the gleeful expression on her mother’s face. It made her so angry, she shut the car door herself.

To add salt to her wounds, the arrangement included ‘dates’ with her fiancée-to-be and tonight, would be the first. Even though the person she’d dine with tonight would be none other than Lay himself, Minji dreaded it. She wondered if the circumstances would be easier to accept if Lay had been a stranger.

Half an hour later, Minji found herself waiting for Lay to arrive. When he did, he appeared sheepish and out of breath. Under different circumstances, she would’ve smiled at his lateness.

“Did I make you wait too long?”

“It’s fine,” she replied curtly. Just because she accepted his comfort last time did not mean he was completely forgiven. Her wounds were still raw and the past few days had been hard on her. All she could think about was the future she’d have to face one day.

She missed the days of her ignorance.

And probably so did Lay. She had always accommodated his friendly advances but now it was the opposite. Their past few practices were the evidence of that. Minji was staring out the window when Lay tried again.

“How was your day?”

“Good.”

She didn’t have to see the wounded look on his face.

“I see.”

He didn’t deserve it and it made her want to bite her tongue but she couldn’t help it. The waiters came and went, serving their dishes. Minji didn’t want to touch her food but knew good manners always applied. She ate daintily and drank graciously but said no more. She knew her actions were hurting Lay, who was trying his best for them.

When they finished their meals, Minji did not waste time grabbing her purse. The moment she did, Lay sent a hand to stop her.

“Minji, please,” he pleaded. “We can barely dance together and now we can’t even breathe in the same space.”

“Well, can you blame me?”

He winced. “Look, I wanted to tell you, I really did! But how? How was I supposed to?”

“It still would’ve been better than nothing,” Minji bit.

Lay broke into a frustrated retort. “If I told you, would you have really just accepted it just like that? After everything? Would you have easily believed me? That suddenly I wasn’t just someone from the academy but one from your past and now your future fiancée?”

She pursed , knowing his reasons had ground. However, it was still her that received the short end of the stick.

Lay slackened his grip. “All I can do is say sorry even though it will change nothing, but please, Minji…” he trailed off.

Minji felt her own resolve weaken and decided she would argue no more for the night. When the two exited the restaurant, the nippy air caused their cheeks to redden. She shivered despite her thick coat.

Puffs of air escaped Lay’s lips. “Thanks for coming today.”

Ignoring his heartfelt words, she digressed. “So, did you drive today?’

He sighed at her evasion. “No, I’m getting picked up. I have somewhere to be after this.”

Right on cue, a luxurious car halted in front of the pair. Lay was about to turn to her when a pair of long legs emerged from the vehicle. For a second, Minji thought that this was the wrong car as a tall person climbed out. She turned to Lay to confirm this when she saw his expression morph into puzzlement.

“Ge, what are you doing here?”

Following Lay’s line of gaze, Minji was met with the sight of a devilishly handsome man approaching them. What she did not understand was his attention, his gaze pinning her into place. The next thing she knew, he stopped in front of her.

A protest became stuck in when she felt a caress akin to a butterfly’s kiss on the pillow of her cheek. She could’ve vocalised her outrage but all that melted when she found herself ensnared in his gaze. That was when recognition seeped in.

His name unconsciously rolled out. “J…Jia-ge.”

“Xiao-Min.”

The way the endearment fell from his lips was all it took for the memories to unlock in her head. They rushed at her with a force enough to split her head in half. Her knees almost wobbled.

“As I’ve suspected, you’ve become so beautiful,” his words wove together warmly, contrasting to the sharpness of his features. Everything about him was peculiar yet so familiar. “I’m glad you recognised me so easily. Can’t say the same with Yixing now, can we?”

“It’s not her fault,” she heard Lay interject. “You haven’t changed a bit, Yifan.”

Noting the lack of honorific, the older male raised a brow at his younger brother.

“Yifan?” The name was completely foreign on Minji's tongue that it sounded funny. She probably mispronounced it. She received no correction, however, only amused smiles.

“Yes, like Yixing, I’m no longer Jiaheng. I’m Yifan.”

Delving deeper into the re-emerging memories, she remembered. There has always been two of them. JiaShuai and Jiaheng, the only sons of Executive Zhang. He was the other boy from that dreams weeks ago, wasn’t he?

“Call me Yifan,” he said. “We’re not in China anymore so it’s probably inappropriate to use these nicknames we had from our childhood.”

Minji found it fascinating that these nicknames he talked about didn’t feel alien to her, though her memories of China altogether was scarcely clear. She was about to voice this when he lifted an arm and pulled back a sleeve. A watch glittered on his wrist.

Yifan tsked, before shooting Minji an apologetic look. “As much as I’d like to stay, I have somewhere to be with my brother. Do you mind if I steal Yixing away now Xiao-Mi—Minji-ah?”

In a matter of a few words, Minji was enamoured by Yifan that she slowly shook her head before she realised it.

He curved his lips into a satisfied smile. "I'm glad. Now, don't worry, there will be plenty of time for catching up. I’m not leaving Korea any time soon. In fact, I’m probably staying until your engagement party.”

The pit of Minji's stomach went cold as she crashed back to earth.

"My, what?”

"Your engagement party. We’ll have to formally announce it. Our families and respective colleagues would need to know of this union. I’m sure it won’t be overdone, but fitting for you and Yixing nonetheless."

A light pressure landed on her back. She looked up and saw Lay.

"We'll talk about it in more detail when I find out more." Remorse shone in his eyes. It seemed he already knew but did not plan to tell her so it early. Already numb at this point, Minji did not bother to fume over the news.

Eventually, the two men left and Minji watched their vehicle drive off. If this first date hasn’t embedded itself into her head that this was really happening, this did. Minji stumbled away from the scene, barely breathing.

The cage she’s been in all her life never seemed so small until now.

Indeed so many things have been piled onto her shoulders lately, but the news of an engagement party—an event to purposefully celebrate her misfortune—made her nauseous. She needed a breather. So regardless of the cold that bit into her skin, Minji walked and walked wherever her feet took her. In her heels, the activity was not ideal but Minji didn’t mind. Painful it may be, she sought to forget it all. Even just for a little while.

When her feet finally stopped, the girl found herself face to face with the academy doors. A low chuckle of disbelief fell from her lips.

Stupid. Not even in here are you completely welcome, now are you? her brained taunted.

Nevertheless, Minji ventured in, strolling through the corridors and hearing some of the practices going on. She didn’t expect much, knowing classes would only recommence in a few days. Upon reaching the familiar door of her usual studio, she froze when she heard shuffling from within. The lights were also on.

She peeked through the small window on the door. What she saw caused her to gasp soundlessly.

Jongin.

Perhaps she only reached the end of his dance because he was slumped against the wall. With a bated breath, she waited for him to move. Just as she always had when she used to watch him in secret. Back when he never bothered to look at her with nothing but contempt.

Unexpectedly, the door creaked and Minji realised her position too late. She stumbled in, her weight pushing her forward until she caused the door to swing open. It hadn’t been closed properly. The coat she had been wearing suddenly felt stifling hot as she heard him crawl to his feet.

“Gong Minji?”

She immediately straightened herself.

“I didn’t know you would be here. It isn’t our timeslot,” she explained quickly.

There was a moment of hesitation before he sighed. “I tested my luck anyway and saw that no one was here. I just wanted to do some casual freestyles by myself.”

Minji gave an awkward nod at the explanation. A minute of passed over them before Jongin gathered his belongings. He was leaving.

“So you’re done then,” she blurted out.

He was slipping his leather jacket on when he looked at her, eyes suspiciously raking over her form. “Yeah, are you going to use it next? Though it doesn’t look like you are. Not with those.” He referred to her heels.

Before she could help herself, she enlightened him. “I can dance quite well with heels on actually.” Jongin looked at her like she grew another head. Treading on the edge of her sanity, she had been past caring since she began her journey here. She continued to humour him. “I’ve done it a few times.”

Instead of replying, Minji heard him approach. Soon, he was in front of her,