xiao-min - little min
xiao-jia - little jia
min-jie - older sister min
jia-ge - older brother jia

xi. the eleventh step | the middle act

The sound of the orchestra band from the ballroom floated down the hall, drowning the sounds of tiny feet scuttling about. Peeking safely from a corner, Little Minji erupted in poorly contained giggles as she spotted the head of her sister popping up above a hallway table.

Then, a shadow loomed over her sister’s hunched form and Minji’s wild gestures weren’t enough to warn her sibling.

“Gotcha!” The boyish cry caused Minyoung to scream back and nearly trip over. Her captor laughed in victory.

Minji watched the scene with a tightly clasped hand over . She dreaded for her turn to be found out but she wasn’t about to lose this game of hide and seek yet!

“You nearly gave me a heart attack, Jia-ge!” she heard her sister whine at the taller boy.

“I can’t believe you weren’t checking behind you. What were you looking at?” There was a pause. “Oh, I see, I bet there’s another mouse hiding over there…”

Hearing his footsteps nearing her direction, Minji scurried away with a small squeal. She found a spare room among the many in the household. Barely sparing the place a glance, she shut the door behind her. When she whirled around, she froze.

A guitar strum.

A boy.

And a simple melody that began to build.

For a second, Minji forgot what she was doing. The sound and sight reeled her in. The one behind it all sat against the window with his eyes closed. Flawlessly, he strummed under the orange glow of the dipping sun. He didn’t seem to notice her until the door slammed open. Minji jolted to find Minyoung’s captor.

“Found you, Xiao-Min!” he grinned wickedly, but then his eyes caught the other person in the room. “Xiao-Jia? Were you hiding too?”

Minji looked at the boy he addressed and saw him blinking at him and then at her. The quizzical gaze he sent her way embarrassed her.

She hastily explained. “No. He wasn’t. I just came in here, bu-but I didn’t notice him!” she rambled on, not noticing her surroundings fading into black, the two boys disappearing along with it. “Hey…guys?’

She was alone.

Her stomach cramped in realisation, the darkness closing in around her. Minji backpedalled in fright. From the corner of her eye, a sliver of light seeped under what seemed like doors. Thirteen-year-old Minji desperately scrambled to it, trying to find a knob. She realised it was the metallic door of the sports shed and it was tightly shut. Tears filled her eyes.

“Very funny!” she cried, wiping her tears with her uniform sleeve. “Hey, let me out!”

When no one responded to her, she yelled louder to no avail. Absolutely helpless, Minji sunk to the ground. Wrapping her arms around herself, she sobbed. “Please, where are you? They said you’d be here…”

“—Please!”

Minji woke up with a start, sweat matting her forehead as her eyes opened to darkness. Before fear took hold of her, the blackness was chased away by the lamp flickering on. Hands grabbed her shoulders and she flinched, a scream stuck in . It was Minyoung.

“Your lamp was off.” Minyoung wiped the sweat from her face. “Why was it off, Minji?”

The younger Gong sister panted and collapsed back into her pillow.

“Minji?”

“I must’ve fallen asleep.”

Minyoung frowned. “You had a nightmare didn’t you?”

“I…”

Filtering through the memories, she barely recalled that house with the two boys in it. Minji knew it was a dream fabricated from her childhood memories. But then that dream distorted into something terrifying. Something scary relating from an experience a time ago. It made her shudder.

“I think so.”

The older sister pursed her lips. “I can look for Mrs Park’s number again…”

“No,” Minji interjected from her bed. “I’m fine.” To hassle her parents with this again…

“But you just had a nightmare and—“

“Nightmares happen. Please drop it,” Minji disputed with a tight voice. Minyoung noticed this and held .

“Well, let me stay here for a while then,” she said after.  

Minji did not fight her sister as she slipped into the bed with her. Rather than that, she appreciated it as they lay side by side. Soon, their lids drooped to the sound of the clock on the wall. They were about to drift off when Minyoung’s phone vibrated.

Minji cracked a yawn. “That’s your boyfriend, isn’t it? Why is he texting you in the middle of the night?”

Her sister stretched. “He’s probably finishing his shift. The club he works at is still open at this time.”

The mention of his work made Minji still for a second but Minyoung pretended to not notice. The woman had been rebelling behind their parent’s backs for a long time now. Dating a mere bartender in a favourite club of hers, she had been sneaking dates here and there.

If their parents weren’t so focused on the youngest daughter, they’d have known.

That was when a thought stuck Minji. It reminded her of the talk she managed to avoid even after the trip. Coincidentally enough, her father became too busy with work. She hardly saw him nowadays.

“Anyway, don’t worry about me and him, okay?” As if reading her mind Minyoung shot her a sympathetic smile. “I’m more worried about you.”

Minji sighed. “Me too.”

Christmas already came and went, and weeks have passed since their fateful trip to the resort. Jongin, Lay and Minji returned their attention to the performance that was coming up. The weeks rolled on with plenty amount of practice, but things began to change since their first meet-up.

One happened to be Lay’s absence. It started from single practices occasionally stretching into weeks. It was worrying at first because Jongin knew he seldom missed practice but he already promised to compensate on his own time.

The other was the result of this. With no Lay there, the remaining two was forced to cooperate.

This left Jongin in a state of confusion. Though he had no idea what he saw Gong Minji as anymore, it definitely wasn’t as horrid as before. It didn’t help that the time they spent in the practice room became less unpleasant and more and more awkward.

“What is it?” she asked one day, after catching his stare. He swore inwardly and made up an excuse about her incorrect footing. They both knew it was a lie.

This worsened with each session, their relentless contact inciting odd reactions from him. The disgust he had for her suddenly shifted to himself. This change from hate to curiosity was a rocky one, especially when it left him feeling unsated most of the time. The thirst for what though, he wasn’t certain (or ready to admit).

A cry disrupted the music, followed by the ungraceful sound of a body hitting the floor.

When he realised what he did, Jongin, this time, swore out loud.

“Oh, . I’m sorry—”

He dropped her. He was supposed to hold her as she spun in his arms, but their closeness induced certain images in his head and then her touch felt like fire and he had to get away.  

Minji was too busy nursing her ankle to reply. Agitated at himself, Jongin took the liberty to guide her to the nearest bench. As soon as she was seated, he left to fetch an ice pack, but not before slapping a hand over his face. He really needed to get it together.

“Does it hurt?” He touched her with the briefest of contact as he probed her ankle for a sign of serious injury. Luckily, it seemed to be fine.

“It just feels sore,” she mumbled.

Naturally, practice finished early because of this, but the two stayed behind as Jongin persisted to press the pack to her flesh. With both nothing to say, an unexpected moment of peace descended over them.

Jongin, despite being lost in his own head, was highly aware of her. They were alone again. Not dancing or discussing their routine. But sitting together with no words to say. That’s when the ticking of the clock and hum of the heaters replaced the howling wind and the crackling fire from his memories. The rotting wood of the cabin turned into the pristine walls of the practice room.

It was just like before except the setting changed.

As if her whole being materialised into something magnetic, Jongin found his orbs sliding up her physique, from her ankle to her neck and finally, her face. Noting his movement, she too turned to meet his gaze.

The moment their irises clashed, something erupted in his veins that caused his throat to dry and his grip to subtly tighten. The numbing coldness of the pack disappeared. He only felt the warmth her skin emanated.

Minji severed the eye contact first, shuddering.

He barely heard himself murmur, “I don’t think the ice is as cold anymore.”

“It doesn’t matter, it doesn’t hurt as much,” she whispered.

Contrary to what he said, he discovered the pack to be cold enough when he put it back. He hadn’t know why he said that, but then again, he didn’t feel like himself at all during that moment. Before parting ways, Jongin determinedly offered another apology when Minji denied him.

“I’ll consider this payback when I burned your hand. Now we’re even.”

Astonished, Jongin did not retaliate. Instead, he marked that day as the day he’d finally acknowledge it. This irreversible change between them.

Jongin greedily in a mouthful of air into his lungs. With synchronised movements, they danced until the beat concluded. It should’ve been perfect, he expected it to be perfect and yet it was anything but. Today wasn’t going well.

“I think our part should be fine,” Jongin lied. He could’ve berated her, but something held him back. She was off tempo and stuttered more than twice. Jongin doubted she even saw him at the moment, her gaze astray.

Minji, oblivious to what he said and moved to sit against the mirror. “I’m just going to rest for a second.”

Today was one of their timeslots and Jongin noticed something was wrong the moment she walked in. Distracted, she barely said a word to him nor did she appear to hear anything he had said. Whatever grey cloud was hovering over her dampened his mood as well.

He grabbed a towel from his bag and patted his sweaty face.

“You can leave,” the words slipped out casually, knowing what he said probably went into one ear and out the other.

Minji chose this moment to hear what he was saying, however, and frowned. “What?”

“You can go. You don’t need to stay.”

There was still some time left before practice officially ended, but he figured it was enough for the today. Jongin, who still had his back to her, did not notice her scramble up to her feet.

“Just what now, Kim Jongin? Can’t stand me already?”

Blinking at the harshness that came out of nowhere, he inhaled. He had been so patient—and for a long time now. Even when Lay wasn’t here to send him glances that warned him not to start anything. Not that he was compelled to nowadays.

“God, if only Lay was here,” he mumbled, suddenly missing the guy.

Unfortunately, Minji caught this and sauntered over to him. “You’re right! If only Lay was here, it would make things so much easier. He doesn’t even have to do anything and it would still make him more tolerable!”

Terribly uncalled for, Jongin swung his head to shoot her a look of disbelief. What the .

If this occurred a months ago, Jongin would have had no problem in returning the explosive outburst. But he saw it. Her trembling irises and her pasty skin that shone with sweat like his own. Jongin knew it simply wasn’t because of practice.

“So that’s what this is about?” he narrowed his eyes. “Because Lay isn’t here, you think you can act like this?”

If anything, Minji was probably having a bad day but Jongin couldn’t help himself.

The girl flinched, guilt looming over her face. It drove Jongin to open his mouth again. He could’ve apologised, but what wanted to come out was something else. Something the curious side of him actually wanted to say—what’s wrong?

But he couldn’t. He remembered his place. When nothing else came out of his mouth, Minji bit her lip. Then, she was just gone. It was only after the door clicked close when Jongin tossed his towel away.

God, more like what's wrong with me.

Later that afternoon, he grudgingly attended his shift at the café. Seeing Amber’s sunny-self made his frowns loosen. At least one person was acting normal. Amber noted the glum look on his face.

“Long day at the academy?” The female mused. “How’s Lay and Minji? I haven’t seen them much since the trip. I still message Minji, but she really at replying. It’s okay though, the girl seems to be always busy. I don’t remember studying that much at her age.”

Jongin winced, the topic at hand not helping him forget what happened earlier. He needed a break.

“I’m sure, but honestly, how’d you get in your degree again?”

The witty reply earned him a smack on the back. “Oi!”’ It was worth it, however, the girl hurling him a look “Anyway, I’ve been meaning to ask you something.”

He had a feeling he knew where this was going. He had been successful in his evasion so far since the break began.

“So I don’t know the deal with you and Taemin, but he’s resorted to passing invitations from me to you. Well, Krystal told me first and then…”

As he assumed. It was about Taemin. Well, it was about time.

He recalled the messages, but the trip to the resort had been a good excuse. Now that was a while ago and Jongin had been using the academy as his new reason to avoid him. Taemin was supposed to be his best friend, but he hadn’t seen him in weeks. The distance he put between them was apparent.

“Does he have a match or something?”

“Yeah, didn’t you know? You’re usually the first one to know. Geez. Did you guys accidentally delete each other’s numbers?”

It might as well be that way. From his lack of reply, Taemin must’ve noticed and gave him space without demanding anything. He’s thankful for it and because of that, he felt a pang of guilt.

“When is it?”

Amber gawked. “Wait, you’re actually considering?”

“Hey, it’s not my fault I had other stuff on my hands lately,” he tried to reason. That was a lie, of course.

“Yeah, yeah. You’re not even studying right now and yet you’re somehow busier than Krystal and I.”

Jongin chose to ignore that. “So when is it so I can see if I can make it.”

He still wasn’t looking at the girl, focusing on the plates he was washing. Yet he heard it, the grin that was in her answer.

“Next week and you better come!”

Jongin was ready to be done with the day when evening came, he threw his bag somewhere in a corner and immediately headed for the shower. From Minji to Taemin’s upcoming match, it left him mentally exhausted when it was all he could think about.

After face-planting into his pillow, he slipped out his phone and opened the group chat that Lay created ages ago. It was mostly dead with Lay being occupied and of course, Minji who hardly said much.

Even though there was not much to read, he scrolled up his eyes darting from text to text. Later, he found himself staring at Minji’s number intently when a thought came to him.

Should he message her? Tell her he was sorry? Clearly, the girl took what he said the wrong way when he just wanted to let her go early. She had been obviously in a sensitive mood. Even though Minji was the one who reacted harshly first, he shouldn’t have spurred it on.

Thinning his mouth into a line, the pad of his finger slowly pressed on her contact name. He would privately message her. Just as the screen switched to her details, an unexpected caller ID flashed on the screen. He almost jumped.

“Lay?” He patted his chest to rid of his racing heart.

“Hey Kai. How are you—how was today?”

It was silly because Jongin felt like he hadn’t heard Lay’s voice in a while. Perhaps it was be