I am their friend, the one who is always in the middle of Dao and Koi, the first one who noticed the love that they had for one another.

The one who sees everything  literally speaking I am there in every heartache and every happy moments that they have. 

I am here again in between them, seeing them holding back while everyone can see it - that they still love one another.

I was there a few days before Koi left Dao.

I was there when Dao almost breakdown because Koi walked out into her life

I was there when Koi tried to love Thim but obviously left the relationship because deep inside she still long for Dao.

I was there when Dao had to be confined in the hospital of almost mental breakdown.

I see them slowly recovering from the wreckage of the past. I can't blame Koi if she left, I can see her wanting Dao back and I can't blame Dao if she tried to hold back and ignore the person who once became the center of her world.

My two friends, I love but...

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It's 8:00 pm in the evening and I can see a shadow waiting at my door.

It's Koi, with some bags she stood up when she spotted me coming.

"Why are you here?" I asked her.

"Can I stay just this night, I'll go home by tomorrow morning" she asked.

I opened the door and let her come in.

"The two of you fight?" I asked her

"No, I left her" she answered and she started to cry.

"You left her, Dao you left Dao?" I asked again and all she can do is nod at me while crying.

I sat beside her patting her back.

"I thought you love her, Koi why did you leave her"

"I don't know myself anymore, Elle. The business needs me now, I need to follow my dad in the US soon." she said.

"You didn't tell this, don't you? I guess she will understand you if you just tell her the truth then" I told her.

She wiped her tears, "She will understand me in time, Elle. I'm doing this for us" she firmly said.

"What are you going to do now? follow your Dad and then come after?" I asked.

"I don't know but I did hurt her a lot, by chance you meet her tell her it's also hard for me to stay away or do what I just did" she said.

That was the last I saw my friend, Koi. I never heard from Dao then. I tried to call her but she change her number after the incident. Koi flew to the US to be with her Dad. She called me after one year telling me she might come again since her dad is okay now with the business in the US. She asked for Dao but the information I had is very little then. She told she's dating a half Thai, half American that was Thim. THey might come back together in Thailand. I congratulated her, finally she moved on with Dao but it's different when I saw her. She's happy with Thim but something is missing I know she's most happy with Dao.

I would see her looking from afar as if waiting for someone to come or pop in to her life.

"You still love her?" I once asked when we got drunk one night.

She nodded. "It's hard to forget a love like that, I still wonder all these years what she's been up to now. Did she wrote another story again? Is she okay? How angry she might be with me? I imagine her throwing tantrums at times. Those were the days, Elle. I cannot go back to that time anymore, there are nights when I woke up crying and regretting everything. I should not feel this because it's my choice but anywhere I go, she's always here in my heart and my mind." she reasoned out.

I can only offer a hug and a drink.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

I rushed to the dorm one night when I received a voice call from Dao.

"Pls come Elle, I don't know what to do" from my voicemail.

I found her lying on the bed. Messy hair and a messy room. It's been two weeks since Koi walked out.

She wrapped her arms around me like a little child.

I looked at her.

"She's gone" she said.

"Does she tell you why?" I asked.

"She said she need to leave while she can, while she still loves me? Now I don't know if she did really love me, Elle." she answered.

I stayed until morning with her.

I feel stuck in the middle I love them they are my friends. I'm not in the right position to tell her what Koi just told me. It should be Koi and I feel for Dao. She put so much in this relationship.

I helped her packed her things.

"Elle, she should have opened up to me, maybe we can work things out." she uttered while putting her things on her bag.

"I'll tell her when she call" I said. 

Two years passed and she's back in town.

Two years passed and she's still stuck with the past and they both still love one another but the past is slow tearing them apart