KOI POV

Another day with Thim, she's getting the hang of it and I'm happy for her. Soon I will be able to leave the company to her but it's dragging nowadays with Dao. I love to be with her but everytime something that's related to Thim comes up we ended up fighting. Sometimes I enjoyed my own time, me alone inside my flat or at the office. I feel calm and don't need to worry about Thim or Dao. Sometimes I question myself if my decisions is right. I'm so decisive before now I don't know. She's so jealous of her sometimes I can see in her eyes that she wanted to end things with me.

I can find peace with Thim, she's always lively and cheerful, Dao used to be like that - always smiling but lately she tend to cry often and angry at me. 

"Coffee?" Thim asked and handed over a cup of coffee.

"Thanks a lot" I said.

"Been thinking?" she asked again. I half smiled and sip a little of the hot liquid.

"Do you think you can manage for a while. I need a break, I want a vacation" I said. "With Dao?" 

"No, just by myself. I think I need some quiet time with myself for a while, Thim. It's dragging and I'm getting tired" I reasoned out. She sit on my chair "Always fighting with her because of me? Do you want me to talk to her" she said. "No need, Thim. I can manage. I just need some rest and to be far away from you and her for a while." I said.

"Okay, how long you is your plan" "A week or two, Thim. Thank you" I said. We stayed there in silence both of us enjoying our coffee watching the busy streets of Bangkok starting to come alive. I enjoyed her quietness, she will never asked something just staying around me. I looked at her and asked myself, why I can't love you the way I love Dao? I thank Thim for her presence and went to the HR dept to file my vacation leave. I told them Thim will take over for a while. I want to get out not to runaway but to think, what will be the best for me and Dao, for me and Thim.

After my trip to the HR Dept. I continue my training session with Thim. We spend most of our time inside my private office, teaching her what she should do when I go on vacation. Sometimes I can feel the tension between us. She would touch my arms just like before, just like when we were inside her room in NYC. I always divert our attention back to work. Time passed and its already 6pm. Little I've known that she's looking at me. "Yes?" I asked. she never say a word just move closer and closer to mine until her lips is on mine, she's kissing me. I miss those lips but it's not Dao. I push her. "I'm sorry" she said. "It's okay just don't do  it again" I said. She moved closer again now back hugging me. "I just missed you, Koi" she said. I removed her arms around my waist. "Thim we talked about this right?" I said. She nodded. "Koi!" another familiar voice greeted me and it was Dao at the door, looking at us. She's suprised and so am I. How long she have been there. "Dao, why you didn't call" I asked.  I never saw  her that angry to me. "I told you before, I trust but I don't trust her" she said and leave. I have to run after her. I need to talk to her. I hold her arms to stop her from leaving. She's crying again. "You saw it? It doesn't mean anything to me, Dao. I pushed her away" I defend myself. "It doesn't matter Koi. She would always have the chance to take advantage of the situation, like a while ago." she said. "How many times do I have to tell you it will not be her it will always be you" I said. "Many times, Koi. As long as she there everyday in your office. I will not be confident or trust you" she said. The final word, it struck me but it's the reality she doesn't trust me at all. "So you don't really trust me?" I asked. "I do but..." "You said it... you don't trust me" I said. I left her and move back to my office, Thim is gone. I pack my things and leave, I cried inside my car. She didn't trust all this time. We have trust issues. I need to get away from her, from Dao and from Thim. She doesnt trust me, ever since maybe it's a mistake to pursue her after all, maybe my father is right. I'm doubting my feelings now with Dao. Am I clouded by my anger? I pack my bags when I reached home, Dao will not be there it's not her day to visit and stay with me. I turned off my mobile. Throw my bag inside my car and drive away as far as I can, away from them. I need my time alone, now. I'm torn between them and suffocated with our set up.