I used to date Koi, we met in the USA. She's lost because she's new at the university. I saw her coming back and forth around the cafeteria where I used to study during my free time. I asked her if she's new and she just nodded. I volunteer myself to show her around, I don't know why but her smile amused me. Her  browns seem sad but her smile is what attracted me the most. 

I know she's happy in the outside and lonely in the inside. 

"Are you really happy you're here?" I once asked her, out of the blue while walking to our next class.

She stopped and looked at me.

"You can read me?" she asked smiling.

"Kinda" I said.

"It's been a year now since I left Thailand and....." she uttered.

"YOu left someone there?"

She nodded. Something inside me feels wrong while I'm hearing this.

"Yeah, I walked out to come here" 

"Who's the lucky guy?

"Lucky girl!" she said.

She pulled out a polaroid picture from her purse. "For the love of my life, my girlfriend DAO" a dedication from the picture.

She's beautiful and she looks happy in that picture. She started to talk about her. She even showed me other pictures of her and the book written for her by Dao. I noticed it's always inside her backpack.

"How many times did you read it?" I asked once.

"I don't know I stopped counting" Koi answered.

In a way, I envy Dao, even if Koi walked out she never stopped loving her. Koi knows what lies ahead once she goes back to Thailand. She's not afraid to ask for forgiveness. How I wish it will be me then but it's not me.... it will always be Dao, in her heart and I can't replace her. She loved me once but it's not the same love that she had given to Dao.

I intend to fight, not to give up easily. I thought I can let go of Koi but after she said goodbye, I realized I can't. She would make anyone be center of her universe but the top place is reserved for Dao. I reached the second best but I can't replace her first love.

Two years with me but I have to admit, I can't make her want me like the way she wanted Dao. I never told her that in her sleep she would call Dao every now and then. She never told me about the midnight cries she used to have when we are together. I can still see in her eyes that she wanted DAO that bad that I accepted the goodbye and apologies she said.I accepted a job in Singapore in a way, it's near to Thailand anytime I can come and visit her. I told her don't tell me to stop loving her because I can't , even if my heart is breaking, even if I cried after she left me.

I told her I'll be the friend she needs. Anytime she can go to Singapore and live with me again.

I'm Thim, I love Koi and I'm willing to wait for her, always....