∗Review: You Make Everything Okay∗

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YOU MAKE EVERYTHING OKAY

AUTHOR:  kjdzyx

REVIEWED BY: EXOcrux

 

TITLE: (3/5)

The title was good and fitted well with your story. However, I think it's too long and did not stand out to me. Just trying to imagine the story through it gave an impression that it would involve some heavy drama, which was not really the case. Plus it was kind of cheesy. The title was fine as it was but if you could think of another one (probably shorter) then that would be great.

 

FOREWORD/DESCRIPTION: (9/10)

The description was short but highly interesting. In fact, it hooked me into reading your story more than the title. But maybe you should take into consideration that the words 'home' and 'haven' could pertain to the same thing albeit at different degrees. To some readers, this might sound repetitive. You can use one of the two, but not both.

 

PLOT: (20/25)

For a thousand word (or so) fic, I did not really expect an intricate plot. This was shown as the story focused on how Jongin and Kyungsoo did their parts in creating balance to their relationship. The story was realistic enough that people could feel themselves relate to the Kyungsoo's situation. I personally liked these kinds of stories but because it was short, some readers might felt lacking that the story ended just like that. Of course you must have your reason for making it that way (maybe the contest?) but the story could have been more relatable and intimate if it was a bit longer.

 

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Comments

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StoicBread #1
Hi ^.^! Do you accept affiliations request? If so,
http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/1123113
caching12
#2
Chapter 26: I didn't expect such a high score tho lol. Thanks for the review! Will credit later when I'm on PC.
sunflowerpots
#3
Chapter 25: thank you for the review!!^^
kjdzyx
#4
Chapter 23: thank you so much for the review!!! :D :D I was trying out new writing style with this fic so these feedbacks are really important to me! and thank you for spotting those grammatical mistakes >.< I tend to mess up grammar often...
but may I ask that you mentioned "lack of necessary articles like 'the'", but I couldn't find where I need to put 'the' in the fic. Yes Ii have re-read it but I guess I still don't know where I've missed out the word?
anyways I really appreciate the review! It's very helpful and I am glad I request from you :) have a nice day~~
JaeKnight
#5
requested for a review! Merry Christmas! <3
Manlyluhaniie #6
Requested for a review ^^
sunflowerpots
#7
I've requested for a review!!^^
mistressdean
#8
Chapter 22: Because it is crucially important to me, THANK YOU SO MUCH for the grammar section. I didn't get a beta-reader because I'm doing the editing myself over winter break and didn't want to waste anyone's time to comb through my story, so thank you for this.

LOL. No, in Chapter 000, this was only an exaggeration about Jungkook, but I can't blame you for taking it seriously though. The sarcasm was subtle. Anyways, for that reason, Jungkook hasn't moved up in school (like Sheldon from Big Bang Theory, that lil smart haha). Yes, Jungkook is smarter than most, but he's not a certified genius and it's why he treats his position in school with contempt.
I'm sorry. I don't explain my characters to reviewers like this because it sounds like I'm "defending" myself, but I wanted to point out that TDoJ is strong in its exaggeration. Haha.

No, I'm not offended at all! Not about the cliché-ness, not about the long chapters, none of that. I embrace the cliché-ness, tbh. Plus, I know there are chunks I could cut out of the story (which is what I'm doing right now. Lord help me.), but other than that, I'm used to this reaction and I like the different perspectives. Honestly, it flatters me that despite everything said in your review, you found great enjoyment in my story while remaining a critical reviewer throughout it. (Okay, I'm sorry for this feedback that isn't really feedback.)

At last, thank you for your corrections, advice, and time! I will have a second pair of eyes to help me after I do the first round of editing. Thank you for the honest and critical review and I'll credit right away! If any troubles or questions arise, I shall PM you if Google can't help me, but I won't bother you over winter break because of the holidays and school :)
caching12
#9
Hello there, I've requested for a review. Thank you.